I thought James had had his fill, but of course not. He always prolongs the point to excess.

March 3, continued
Subject: Re: I told you to piss off.. bloody poofter, ehhh??
suck cock

Ohh, witty! Troll continues to reply (he derives as much pleasure from this as I do):

March 4, 2002
Subject: Re: I told you to piss off..
Yeah,
I called you a bloody poofter. After all, only a poof would want me to suck his 'cock.' I already told you once before, I don't do that sort of stuff, find some other guy to suck your dick if you so desire, leave me out of it, bleedin fairy.
-Adelar the Troll

Necron tries so hard to meet me at my level, but when you can't spell...

Subject: EKSHUMASHUM BEGIN BETTER PRAY TO SATN
hey satan well my hiku does have sensitivity to breviy of life its about death.but yeah my english teecher sucks her name is miss troop.kurse her name mortal be slthred in blood worm intestens.i hope yer honered by my prares i will write you some reel ones when i'm not torn between the relm of doom and pathetik mortals.fer ezampel, one time during serimony to her nmisstress satan be prased,tiranisoris reks ate my homewerk. well miss troop is a bitch she didn' believe me, but well he did eat it. MOUNTED ON WALL DOOM JELLY FISH tells me she fcks mr juicysak well i don't believe him mr jucysak is gay ha ah. well enuff about that.misstress i lay in kave wirting on wall in eskuhemned blood.i need yer toch make me hole.i thout bout what you said getting rid of hairyticks yer right i will start tonite during speshul serimony ha ha wont know what bit em ha ha.i'm bekon=ming a nazi now ive been reedimg about hitler he kicks ass. but i havent got to the byrd part.i love ya misstress bloody kisses ~NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

I really hope those two teachers read this libel...and the interesting spelling, too.

I got more answers than I really cared to hear from Jellyfish in this email:

Subject: Re: Greetings
Greetings, Mistress.
Welcome to my world. As You have Identified with Satan, so have I with MOUNTED ON WALL DOOM JELLYFISH, a term in praise of dadaist principals. Until we can learn to abstain from form and void, we cannot truly be evil, because we are of this world and its constraints.
As You may have guessed, I am the phylosopher of the organization you are already acquainted with, the Spooky Children. What I do is lend structure to what is quickly becoming an excuse to get drunk and hunt for roadkill to poke at with sticks and burn. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH, my blood friend and leader, does a very good job at keeping the morale up, alas, he is not always very good at keeping the rowdier ones in line and often ends up joining in the shenanigans.
We are not about fighting dinosaurs, who are, in a theory I contrived and elaborated upon in a science report, the original vampyres from which we, bloodthirsty progeny, are rooted. Rather, we are to join with them and show reverence to their effigies, like Roman Catholics do to the Virgin Mary. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH is aware of this but often feels that there is a conflict of interest between the dinosaurs' wishes and his own. As he is our leader and conduit to dark forces, I do not question this.
Which brings us to You. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH insists that You are Satan Incarnate, much as jesus was god incarnate. As an adjunct to his theory, I postulated that it would make sense that the coming of Satan would occur in 2002, a year which also happens to be palindromic. Palindromes are interesting phenomena indeed. They cannot be stricken backwards or forwards, thus confounding all means of shape-shifters who want to destroy a form and make a completely different isomer of it so to speak. Evil is much like this - unlike christianity, which contradicts itself and takes on a confounding spectrum of potencies and denominations, evil remains steadfast. There is nothing nebulous about evil, as with a palindrome. So I feel NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH may be correct concerning Your identity. Please guide us. And as an aside, I hope I am not being a rogue to say that Necron has shown us all photos of You, and that You are a very beautiful Woman. With that said, I hope that I've cleared up anything that NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH has not. As Evil Incarnate, please guide us and tell us where we may err. I don't have the power to sense Your Presence, I regret, though NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH claims to. I do my best to be of service.
Yours in Wickedness,
Paul - MOUNTED ON WALL DOOM JELLYFISH -

You know, I'm saddened that an intelligent boy like this has enslaved himself to the likes of Necron.

I have to reply to Necron again. He's so fascinatingly stupid, I can't help myself sometimes. I decided to give him some amusement:

Subject: Re: EKSHUMASHUM BEGIN BETTER PRAY TO SATN
After you finish perging the spooky children, annoy this boy. sadlydarkmemory@yahoo.com Feeling disgrunteled about English class? Get into a pissing match with him, as Troll has done. You should provide excellent entertainment to each other; just remember to send me copies of your letters. I want to have fun too.
~Satan, Princess of Darkness

Necron takes my suggestion seriously and emails James. And this is what he wrote...

March 5th, 2002
Subject: DOOM BOY DIE DIE DIE
well satan ive done what you said to do.i wrote to sadly dark memeery. i sent you a copy of what i wrote

hey sadly dark memery whose this well its time to die. no i'm not done perging spooky chidrun but my dark misstress satan told me to wirte so i am to bother you. die boy. i am a 7 foot tall gangril vampyre with retaktabel fangs and claws. i have big mussels.i liv in the shadows.i am nerished by virgin blood yes blood from sweet virgins ushually freshmans ha ha. well i'm not here to laff.satan wants you dead so you will die its as simple as that.i will chant yer name in tirano ordinahtays yes it is a doom kurse and yes yer blood is warm between my fangs.even if its soyuled. anything fer my prinsess.under byrd hitler and satan and tiranisoris reks you will die boy.NECRON ROMANCER OF YER DEATH

well, if he bothers you he will die.i stcik to my werd, a doom serimony skeduleled tonite at undisklosed sercret locashun of food lien will kemmense and i will perge spooky chidren burn then in dummster ha ha ha. do you think sower milk will make them burn faster ha ha. well i'm not that mad but i'm pretty mad yeah in mathclass yesterday, GRAIN MAGGOT OF EUPHRATES DOOM BANKS brought his liter drawed a skunk on piece of paper and pertended to burn it and vomit rath fluwids. well thats mocking and i get angrey and preeseed to bite him with needel sharp fangs then stoopud teecher takes us to office, well a perging is needed. i'm the leeder he told me to have cents of humer well its no laffing matter.pleese kill them prinsess.tirano ordinahtays doesnt conver spooky chidren members but make eksepshun pleese gurl i love you and want you near me in coven doom speak NECROM ROMANCER OF YER LOVE

*Snickers* I wish I could strike people dead with a thought. That would be nifty. But that's really more Malachai's specialty.

Necron also struck Troll:

Subject: DOOM DEATH DOOM KILL
troll its nice that you want to know bout birthday wellk i dont have one however peple think i mite they are worng.the serimony kemmnsed but unfortenetely not as planned. you see one spooky chidrun memnber thout it would be funny to push me into oktipus well he'd be wrong. i had to fite the oktipus,well, i defeeted it but still.then theres a guy a food lien who sells us booze but only cheep stuff like the wine with butter fly on label its soyuled dont drink it its not like fresh virgin blood as hopped cuz of butter fly virgins like butter flys.it was flameabbel tho and we burned a skunk.unforeneteley the smell wold not leeve and its on all our clothes like my kape and april gives me stoopid nick name STINKY.leeve me alone soyuled bitch gurl im not as stinky as yer oily body.i worte misstress hiku prares yeah fer skool.she loves me hairytick terrerist.and i stand ferm i hate terrerists look what you did to our bildings. whats next, dinisore land or the great bilding of the stock market. what will you think of next die hairytick troll blood seep owt.NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

That octopus really scared me when I was...oh, three? But it's covered in mildew now; I don't think it's really a threat...

James replies fairly quickly to Necron:

Subject: Re: DOOM PERGE BEGIN DIE HAIRYTICK DIE
learn how to spell and you may scare 12yr olds ok???

Necron's not happy 'bout that...

Subject: Fwd: Re: DOOM PERGE BEGIN DIE HAIRYTICK DIE
satan sadly dark memery will die there is no way around it he will die. NECRON BLOOD THIRSTY ROMANCER OF DEATH

Necron gives me his next email to James as well...

Subject: BOYULING BLOOD
satan i replyed to basterd it is parry graff below. i will kill him i swear to ya misstress. i will kare fer ya like i said. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

-well then i say youve met yer match, soyuled spawn of krist. this and my spooky chidren are series bizness yes we're fore most coven of vampyres in koffin doom society of virtua reality vampyres.under estimat us well its yer loss of blood not mine so say all ya want sadly dark memery.i am vampyre but fore most man.and i can spell dont go there un less you want to meet fate of adelar troll and FLOETING EYE BALL OF DOOM.yes the treatmint is the same fer all hairy ticks so don't get yer hopes up. i'll burn you like skunk found dead on winchester inter state.GIVE UP HOPE YER BLOOD IS MINE. HONER MISSTRESS OR PREPARE TO MEET EKSUMATSHUN EMILASHUN DEATH. NECRON ROMANCER OF BLOODY DEATH OF SADLY DARK MEMERY-

Murder is caring for me? Hmm...I'll try to hit the squirrels harder the next time I drive...

I reply to Jellyfish as well. Sadly, he has yet to reply.

Subject: Re: Greetings
I am quite flattered by everyone's appreciation of the manifestation of my genetic code. However, since I had no control over that and I've been told enough times I'm less than pleasing in personality, I take your comments with a grain of salt.
As to the everyone mentioned above - exactly how many members strong is your organization?
You seem like a reasonable and intelligent fellow, Paul. My question is how can you believe in Necron so easily? Did Necron tell you how I was named? If not, it may be enlightening - I was called Satan by an ex-boyfriend. It was not a term of endearment, either. This was an assault on my character, and not unwarranted, I might add. I decided to call myself Satan after this incident because I was amused.
In short, my pseudonym is nothing more than a derogatory remark about my unpredictable temper. I have no intentions of leading anyone to anything. Life is something one must learn as one lives. I cannot provide any more answers than the next person. The scanty advice I do give usually involves beating men with rolled-up newspapers or screaming obscenities at a computer screen or poor drivers. I am in no way responsible enough to lead anyone to salvation. I am certainly not qualified to give anyone any advice besides keeping a towel handy, editing a category at dmoz.org, and appreciating a good dose of art and fiction. Spell checking is also an imperative.
~Satan, Princess of Darkness

Troll continues to defend his honor:

March 6th, 2002
Subject: Re: I told you to piss off..
Now I know you're a great bleedin poofter. I typed it once, I'll type it again. I do not suck cock. I'd also like to point out that you have no bleedin idea what my mouth looks like, let alone the rest of me. Find somebody else to deep throat your minimanhood. I'm too busy keepin Satan happy.... she's so very much fun to please... So... Piss off you git.
Adelar

James shows his crude and base nature (not to say he hadn't shown it before...) in his reply:

Subject: Re: I told you to piss off..
ahhh come on you seem to have a great cock sucking mouth pretty boy, i bet you can suck a watermelon thru a straw ehh??
come on it will be fun suck me off and i will slap you in the face and call you my bitch.....

I don't want to bring in the sledgehammer here, really, but leave the watermelons out of this.

James also replies to Necron, giving him some really valid advice:

Subject: Re: I DEFEND MISSTRESS RELINKWISH HOPE BASTERD
let me put this in your terms, okay???
"phuck off you bleedin' bastard!"
and, as for your knowing how to spell well, let me make a suggestion -- hooked on phonics, it'll do you wonders

Let me just say Necron is less than pleased...

MArch 7th, 2002
Subject: stoopid doom boy DIE
satan well he worte agin i sent it to ya.whats stoopid he try to write like adelar troll well thats not my langwige i don't speek freench. i have a serimony to atend at howse of MOUNTED ON WALL DOOM JELLY FISH he better be treeting ya right. i will chant prares curse boy fer ya.i love ya ferever misstress. bloody kisses ~NECRON ROMANCER OF SATAN LOVE

saw yer letttres well spawn of krist, yer ingnerense is yer doom meet in blood pool blood bath. chant curse doom prare begin rath vampyre chant
DEATH TO HAIRYTICK SATAN BURN YOU DEAD
OWT OF SHADOW ROTT TREE WORMS KRAWL FROM YER HEAD
PLASTIK BAG OF DOOM SUFIKATE SADLY DARK MEMERY VAMPYRE TAKE ADVANTIGE
RORE DINISORE OF DEATH EAT BLOOD EKSUMED BODY STONNY RIGE
RESPEKT PRINSESS SHE KNOWS YER FATE
NOT GOOD CUZ YER KONSUMED IN HER FLAMES OF HATE
no hope mortal yer blood swaloed like peech snaps by drunk hi preest. serimony will be held tonite to emilate yer soyuled name. sakrifise will be you yer doom is neer so don't piss me of. NECRON BLOOD THIRSTY ROMANCER OF YER DEATH

Necron gets an emailer:

March 9th, 2002
Subject: Fwd:
satan now someone called over kill writes me i dont know who this is but its konspeericy i bet he wants to suck blood. im konfused see spooky chidren is sevret orginizashun that meens no one owtside shold know about it i dont know what to do shold i trust him shold i tell me prinsess. maybe hes the lost sppoky children member or gohst of FLOETING EYE BALL OF DOOM but i can't be sure bout this.i wallow in doom konfushun give me yer gidince prinsess of darkness. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Hey man, it must be cool to be a vampire right? I wish I were one, I mean look I could suck blood. I bet your good at that kinda stuff anyway aren't ya? What do you have against Memory or should I say Memery anyway? Are you to stupid to even spell that? One day, we will meet up and chant together and hey maybe I'll find some guy for ya to suck on...
Later,
Overkill

I was feeling generous, so I replied to Necron's email:

March 10, 2002
Subject: Re: Fwd:
Koibito-kun:
I believe your Overkill chap is either "Sadly Dark Memory," known to me as James, or one of James's friends. Chances are good he knows nothing about the Spooky Children, and we are just being sucked into a flame war.
Whether you respond or not is you decision, but if you do, remember to share your corrospondence.
~Satan, Princess of Darkness

Necron thanks me:

Subject: VAMPYRE WARRIERS KEMENSE FITE FORSES YER BLOOD IS MINE
ah satan my prinsess thanks fer yer innsight.well i thouit sadly dark mery james was troll but now hes some one else i see.but what you said bout flame war is that this year.well it makes sense i gess this is year of satan. but i guess beeing a vampyre would never be easy.i will fite with all might.i luv ya keep in touch baby NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

With that in mind, he wrote back to Overkill...

Subject: damned to hell
now satan i worte back to persen. heres what i said deem it werthy misstress of beautifull doom. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH
overkill fer life well i can suck blood i do it often have you tried.do you wish you are a vampyre, well, theres no way to beecome one. i am 7 foot gangril from transulvania with retaktabel fangs and claws now satan tells me that yer starting the flame war well i thout it'd be later but it makes cents its this year its the year that is backwerds and forwerds and indestruktabel. this is year of satan so if yer not reel vampyre i'd be scared yeah i'd stay away no telling how long it will last.now the year of satan we have reverense fer prinsess. sadly dark memery insalted my misstress and called her a soyuled hore i read his letters on the site. http://ladyphoenix9.tripod.com/ now that is behavier of a hairytick and i wont take it standiong down. i will attack him drane him of every fluwid in his soyuled body and feed it to the OKTIPUSS RECEEVER OF SOYULED MATTER.now if we meet ever i don't like boy blood only virgin gurl blood so bring me one of those.do you write chants show me one i'll tell you if its werthy. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Necron and James butt heads again, this time over spelling. The blind leading the blind, I tell you...

Subject: Fwd: Re: TIME FER FITE HOPE WANES SADLY DARK MEMERY MEET DOOM
now satan i am boyuling in rath and anger look what sadly dark memery wrote to me.who does he think he is i think hes adeler troll needs to die does same thing as terrerist troll.its not werth living some times i want to end all life but yer presense keeps me going prinsess. we hold speshul grave yard serimony tonite and we'll decide whatto do meanwhile i peel burn in doom ageny. i love you yer beauty estanes me misstress er mistress er what ever.he makes mokery of carft like no one else ever.we are seriez bisness why cant he under stand look.it's hard being a 21st centery vampyre. hard werld no ones gratefull fer what they'vegot. peple get rich, well step back fer a minite how did that happen.amerika is land of opertyunity thats why i come here from transulvania amerikan langwige is known well to me now LEEAVE ME ALONE DOOM ROTT SADLY DARK MEMERY. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

alrighty then...apparently hooked on phonics didn't work for you, did it little boy?? let me show you exactly what i mean, shall we begin?
well sadly dark memery {memery, huh...it's memory, some kids!} you don't under stand {understand is only ONE word} you've caused pain to the misstress {if i'm not mistaken it's mistress, why so many ssssss??????}. and peple {hmm..what's that? don't you mean people?} who dont under stand {once again, one word you idiot!} things are stoopid {of all words you really need to know this one, it's stupid - like you} yeah so shut yer {are we replying to "your"....maybe} mowth {hmm...maybe you mean mouth...but i could be wrong}. i saw yer {once again, your - maybe} letttres {this is a new one to me - maybe it's letters...who knows!} well spawn of krist {could this be Christ...or maybe it's one of your imaginary friends who hang out with the "vampyres"}, yer {need i say it again?} ingnerense {this one is lovely - ignorance - which you display lovely!} is yer {you like that redneck talk, dont you?} doom meet in blood pool blood bath. chant curse doom prare {you sure can chant them, but you can't pray worth a damn...don't you mean prayer?} begin rath vampyre {this must be the way you idiots refer to yourselves in your "home territory"} chant
DEATH TO HAIRYTICK SATAN BURN YOU DEAD {wow...you didn't mispell anything, give you a cookie!}
OWT {hmm...maybe that phonetics got to you....it's out, dumbass} OF SHADOW ROTT {a few too many key strokes there} TREE WORMS KRAWL {almost...although when just learning k does sound like c sometimes} FROM YER {idiot} HEAD
PLASTIK {there's that darned c and k story again} BAG OF DOOM SUFIKATE {now i'll admit, suffocate is kind of harder to work on} SADLY DARK MEMERY {you should be able to figure out this word on your own, it's on alot of things nowadays} VAMPYRE {how can you be a vampire if you can't even spell the simple word???} TAKE ADVANTIGE {advantage - we're using complicated words for a 10 year old, aren't we?}
RORE DINISORE OF DEATH EAT BLOOD EKSUMED BODY STONNY RIGE {hmm...i'm not even going to try this one - roar dinosaur of death eat blood exhumed body stony ridge - is that better?}
RESPEKT PRINSESS SHE KNOWS YER FATE {at least you can spell she, knows, and fate} NOT GOOD CUZ YER KONSUMED IN HER FLAMES OF HATE {learning the difference between c and k can be tricky, can't it?}
no hope mortal yer {idiot language again!} blood swaloed {swallowed, maybe...i could be wrong though} like peech {peach...hmm..not too shabby though} snaps {now this word isn't really that bad, but what the hell is it? maybe schnapps} by drunk hi {hello to you too} preest {priest, maybe...or does it belong with krist?}.
serimony {ceremony - c can be a tricky letter to handle} will be held tonite {didn't feel like spelling out night, did you?} to emilate {eliminate - those harder words can be tough on your young mind} yer {oh goodness} soyuled {is this soiled or souled - i had a hard time figuring this one out} name. sakrifise {sacrifice - that damned k and c thing again} will be you yer {redneck phonics helped you, i see} doom is neer {try an a instead of two e's - near} so don't piss me of. NECRON BLOOD THIRSTY ROMANCER OF YER DEATH
your welcome :)

This is the best email I ever got from either of these two. Necron, however, thinks James is Troll...

Subject: ADELER TROL FACE DOOM FLAME
now look i know who you are. yer sadly dark memery yes you are SAME PERSON cerekting spelling.well who do you think you are you are no macth fer me.adeler troll you have betrayed the misstress. you are not her boy frind and i'll have you know that she wants me yes she agrees to be in vampyre porno.only this is good vampyre porno with dinisores and marilyn mansun not succubis gorge michael so there.yes satan is in owr porno so there shes not yers any more. dont tell her i said that tho about the prono its secret. damn terrerist yeah now i'm sure yer one of them i bet yer bin ladden from france yer very clever but you can't fool me terrerist.i have nazi hitler byrd power on my side and more importently satan the prinsess her self so STAY AWAY YER TIME IS NEER TO DIE oh and i'm not a red neck i hate red necks too much damm imbreeding.NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Subject: I CAUGHT ADELAR TROLL
well misstress you'll be proud of me here i caught adeler troll yes he's not yer boyfriend he's cheeting on ya gurl baby he's rely sadly dark memery. who insalted you call you hore. i will tear him limm to limm fer yer pleasure. NECRON ROMANCER OF ADELER TROLL DEATH
now look i know who you are. yer adelar troll yes you are SAME PERSON cerekting spelling.well who do you think you are you are no macth fer me.adeler troll you have betrayed the misstress. you are not her boy friend. damn terrerist yeah now i'm sure yer one of them i bet yer bin ladden from france yer very clever but you can't fool me terrerist.i have nazi hitler byrd power on my side and more importently satan the prinsess her self so STAY AWAY YER TIME IS NEER TO DIE oh and i'm not a red neck i hate red necks too much damm imbreeding.yer one of them you know. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Oh, those two crazies...

Subject: Fwd: Re: ADELER TROLL YER CAUGHT PREPARE TO FACE RATH OF SATAN
satan now look hes tryin to get tuff. ha well he's in fer a surprise.where does he live tell me misstress i'll end his bitchin once and fer all.my blood boyuls how dare he.and i'm cleerly not gay. NECRON ROMANCER OF HIS HAIRYTICK DEATH

just shut the fuck up josh you damn homo, there is no satan, no god, only me, you want to bow to someone, bow to me, i am your only god, your only higher being. now go fuck your mistress, go fuck your adelar*or what the fuck ever his name is* and most importantly, just go fuck off, before i decide to get alittle mad and fuck your entire world over you stupid fucking idiot.

Miffed, I reply to Necron's theory...

Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: ADELER TROLL YER CAUGHT PREPARE TO FACE RATH OF SATAN
Baka no koibito: Troll and James are two separate people. They knew nothing of each other's existence before corresponding. So no, you didn't discover anything.

*blinks* This one speaks for itself. Not in a good way, either.

Subject: SETTING THE LAW STRAIT
satn he's forsed me to get agressive speek in mortal terms so don't be offended. skip over last parrygraff in fact.love ya baby NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH
whatever sadly dark memery i've had more akshun with virgins than you sucked more blood so shut yer mowth.and don't say theres no satan i know her ok. i've seen her and if yer not adelar troll well yer just like adelar troll.satan is so beautifull i wirthe in pleasure every time i see her beauty.and i will fuck her some day but with respekt yeah i have respekt fer her.
along with 7 foot gangril body comes ekwilly long grangril cock with retraktable fangs and claws.no i'm definately not gay but yer gay cuz you thinkin of me naked arent you. now go away be fore i sakrifise you and grind you under clawed foot. NECRON ROMNCER OF YER PATHETIK DEATH

This is why dangling modifiers are BAD. REALLY, REALLY BAD.

Subject: RE: SETTING THE LAW STRAIT
You've amused us long enough. There will be no further corrospondence from any of us. Consider yourself thrown into the highest rung of Heaven.
~Lucifer and Satan

No one's going to "fuck" me. Thank you very much for not asking me about it.

Well, James goes at it again, this time with Troll:

Subject: Fwd: Re: I told you to piss off..
Now I know you're a great bleedin poofter. I typed it once, I'll type it again. I do not suck cock. I'd also like to point out that you have no bleedin idea what my mouth looks like, let alone the rest of me. Find somebody else to deep throat your minimanhood. I'm too busy keepin Satan happy.... she's so very much fun to please... So... Piss off you git. Adelar--------Read below-------- *****la la la la la bleedind poofter la la la la once la la la la again la la la la i do suck cock la la la my name is "bleedin fairy him gay damn self adelar" la la la la bleedin idea la la la i have a pretty mouth that likes nasty ass fucked cocks la la la la and like it on the rest of me la la la i wish somebody would let me depthroat them la la la i have a small dick and could never get laid not even from the priestess and the holy slut herself "[Satan]" i like to suck satan off sine he is a "MAN" la la la i am so damn ghey i like hitting on memory alot and pretening that i am mad but want to fuck him in the ass, then suck him off la la la so...piss on me i like it la la la Adelar *****this is what i got from your e-mail need i say more?????? thank you for all your well homo antics but ahhh, fuck [Satan] she is willing hell look she wanted to fuck me and i was only talked to once on the phone and a fewtimes on the net ha ha have fun and well necron romancer of death is nifty i hope you 2 can fuck like mad or atleast suck him off while you fuck [Satan's] old wrinkly crusty fungi infested ass thank you well you know my name, you think about me enough while you masturbate, now dont get to worked up reading this BTW drop the accent, its pretty evident its fake *latz*

Such pent up aggression and sexual frustration isn't healthy for a person. And I hate to burst your bubble, James, but I'm really long past you. You're nothing but a foul-mouthed schizoid crybaby. I don't understand your obsession with me, but I do seem to attract losers...

Well, Troll replied...

Subject: Albatross!
James,
The accent isn't fake, it's just muddled. I spend enough time jumping back an forth tween school and my father's that me accent tends to vary. Here, I'll try to explain... I'm British, but me dad an I moved to the US when I was younger... Mum still lived in Bath, England, so I would spend me summers with her, and now... I attend University here... and jet over to there when I get a break...
As for Necron, he thinks I'm a bleedin French Terrorist... I tried to convince him that just because I ride a motorcycle and have a few tats, that does not make me a terrorist... sides, there's no bleedin money in it... I know next to nothing about Josh and his naughty children... and I don't care to... I have enough problems trying to keep up with all my other activities...
Oh, and the reason I e-mail you... I think you're a bleedin riot... I also think you're a stupid git... but that's half the fun...
-Adelar

And the reply, intercepted by Lady Sally...

Subject: Re: Albatross!
well its official you are fucked up, your buddy josh is fucked up and what the hell, everyone i know that you know is all fucked up in the head, now go about your normal what ever you o day, you amused me for well maybe 2 e-mails, now i am bored, bah

ciao
james

Succubus sent Necron a George Michael e-card...and here are the results.

Subject: got yer card
well succubis i got yer card yeah its been a while but live with it yer card sucks.i dont like gorge michael he is gay and soyuled.now there are mattres of doom importese to deal with i must go.NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Succubus gave Necron a link to The Onion, and look what it produced...

Subject: SATAN IMMORTAL
wow succubis does satan reely have fangs like that that kicks ass.how many lifes does she have. what i want to know too is does satan reginerate parts. or does she take old parts make new parts. see dinisores leeve bones but bones come to life at nite come to dinisore land rore with lizerds of old while marilyn mansun blasts in nite and spooky chidrun dance round fire of doom.maybe saten does same thing hmm never thout of it.NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

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