It's official - SHOBA has its own pet stalker. Take a look at these gems; they've inspired dear old Satan and the Succubus to do parody "art" about Necron, Romancer of Death, aka Josh.
The only thing that has been edited is the town name. Everything else is copied and pasted "straight from the bat's mouth," so to speak.

January 7th, 2002
Subject: hi
hi satan, my name is josh, aka "NECRON, ROMANCER OF DEATH" yes, the sweet realease that will be death. anyways, looked at yer site, it's kewl and you're beautiful, in my humble opinion. i have not seen a girl as beautiful as you. i live her in **********, yeah, i'm 24 and i want to be a computer programmer. yer site rcoks, just thought you'd want to know, oh yeah, and you're beautiful. are you a vampyre? let me know. seeya - necron

I did the wrong thing and replied, thanking him for the email.

Subject: RE:hi
Ahh, thank you for all the kind words. I don't consider myself anything other than myself, so I'd have to say no, I am not a vampyre.
And yes, thank you for letting me know about my site. I'm rather new to the fan mail... *blushes* It's appreciated. ^.^
~Satan, Princess of Darkness

January 8th, 2002
Subject: RE: hi
hey you, it's so sweet of you to write back so soon and all. i cant believe you dont get mail more often because you are so beautiful. you are the most beautiful gurl on the site. sometimes when i'm thinking of death i look at your picture and you give me hope for immortality and mere mortals, plankton of existence, a better existence cuz life suck then you see satan, who is beautiful even if shes not a vampyre. she is the prinsess of darkness. so what kind of muzic are you into? my faves are marilyn mansun, limp bizkit, staind powerman 5000 and slipknot. they reflect my views on society how about you? well this is long, goodnight and bloody lkisses ~seeya~ josh "necron"

Okay...that's a little creepy.

January 13th, 2002
Subject: hey there
hi there satan, dont know if you got my last email, but it was kewl to get your response. anyway, i am just sitting here, bored with life and it's mocking me with it's insipidness, and wanteing to talk to you, to know what the prinsess of darkness is thinking and what is her scheme for banal humanity. i want to know about what you like, i think that's what i wrote last time. do you like marilyn mansun? i am one of a select few spooky children-those of us who truly believe in the doctrine of the reverend mansun, and are vampyres who shun mortals. you are like us, it looks like and if you would like to join then let me know. we are all here in **********. i would like to meet you too. yer site rocks anyway especially yer pics and the ones of satan, the ones by artists who ddnt know that satan is a beautiful gurl. wtire back, seeya - necron

*Sigh* He attacked my Succubus as well.

Subject: hi there
hi there succubis, i saw you on the sailor moon site, so whats up? my name is josh, aka NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH. i am 24, a vampyre, and want to be a computer programmer, how bout you? i talk to satan alot, sher rocks, so you are her friend? i like your art of the scorpio, are you a vampyre? i live in a shadow world between virtua-reality and the lack of boundarys. i live among the wright of spooky children and we suck the blood of mortals. anyways, write back if you want. seeya later, necron

And, you guessed it, Chibi pJ too.

Subject: [Unknown]
hi chibi pj what's up? my name is josh aka NECRON ROMNACER OF DEATH. i am a vampyre, 24 yrs old and live in **********. i will be a computer programmer. yer site is jewl, i think, and i like looking at all yer drawing and pics. ha ha, yer holding a teletubby. so tell me about yourself, what are you like, ect. as a vampyre, i must disaccosiate myself with mortals and live in darkness. how old are you? are you a vampyre? yer kinda cute, i think. i talk to satan alot, she is fun and kewl and really beautiful. sailor moon is kewl and my favorite scout is the red one, ha ha. im rambling on here, but im thirsty for blood and must meet with my fellow spooky children vampyres in the shadows. seeya, write back and tell me whats up. - josh "necron, romancer of death"

Seeing this was quickly turning evil, I reply:

January 14th, 2002
Subject: RE: hey there
I'm afraid you'll have to shun me, as I am mortal and detest Marilyn Manson.
~Satan, Princess of Darkness

January 15th, 2002
Subject: DOOMED I HANG IN THE BALANCE
satan, you are not mortal, you are the prinsess of darkness, of course, meaning that you are the leadre of our coven. kewl to get yer letters, it's what fills the doom that fills the hours that make me violent and hungreing for blood. but you dont like marilyn mansun-why not? you have not heard him, he is a minister in the church of satan which was founded by anton lavey, and anton lavey ordained reverend mansun as a high ranking minister. so he is on yer side, and you should have revernece for him and that he is the destroyer of all things that interfere with the realm of shadows. he leads forth the spooky children-i am one of them, we are all vampyres. ya know you should join us vampyres, we would get along and love to meet the prinsess. not only because you are satan but you are beautiful too, and kewl. don't be afraid, we are one. write back, you hear - bloody kisses, josh "NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH"

He also attacked my Succubus again.

Subject: who do you think you are
succubis, who do you think you are reeking havek with the forces of darkness-you are not one of us, you are a poser and suck. the sppoky children will have the last laugh when our fangs are drinched with yer blood. DARKNESS PREVAILS. -necron, ROMANCER OF DEATH

Again, and slighter harsher, I try to dissuade him.

Jaunary 16th, 2002
Subject: Re: DOOMED I HANG IN THE BALANCE
Yes, I knew this, but no, I really don't care at all. I am not part of your twisted little make-believe land. I am not a vampire, your leader, or your friend. Take your spooky children and psuedo-philosophical ramblings and find someone else to idolize - I'm tired of pitying you.

January 17th, 2002
Subject: I'M SORRY
dear satan, look, i'm really really sorry if i hurt or offended you, i didn't mean to. what did i say? i just wanted to be yer friend. i'm not trying to be nasty, im a sensitive guy, really, and it hurts me that i hurt you. i just wantd to be yer friend, and i thought you'd get along with my friends and me. my whole lifre has been full of darkness and pain and maybe i say things that cause pain to others, and if i am doing that then i'm so, so sorry. you have to understand that its not easy to be me. i am not learned in the ways of mortals. and i feel you might be the same and if i'm wrong then i'll bed to be redeemed. prinsess, give me yer forgivness. i'm sorry, i am mnot worthy. - josh

My dear Succubus wrote:

Subject: Re: who do you think you are
Dearest Necron,
Calm, calm. I am in no way reaking havoc with your dark forces, but simply suggesting that they are not as dark as they could be.
For instance, I've been informed that you may be visiting our site upwards of two times a day - which is nice, of course, but . . . don't you have more malificent matters to attend to, being the "Romancer of Death" and all? We're not "evil," persay, we're just silly little girls who like Sailor Moon, talk about boys too much, and take teen mag quizzes whilst consuming - rather than virgin blood - staggering quantities of horrid, impure, processed snack food. And we, uh, play with Teletubbies. Did you note that, too? Right. NOT characteristics of a covert band of wonton citizens who follow Marilyn Manson and hide in the shadows. So, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but . . . you just might want to divert your lurid attentions to another, more worthy object. - The Succubus

And Mr. Necron replied:

Subject: Re: who do you think you are
succubis, no, you are the one who has the problems in understanding the mesaing of beauty and love. i am in love and it is a pure emotion that you are incapalble of knowing of. how can you judge me like that? i love the site i visit oftenn because it is my favorite, along with the marilyn mansun sites, even up with those. i am going to conntemplate suicide now as my life has lost pur pose. - josh

My Succubus tries to reason again:

January 19th, 2002
Love? Wait . . . I think I'm missing something vital here . . . of curiousity, since when are you carrying on a love affair with someone who works on our site? Excuse my ignorance as I have heard nothing but information that might suggest an absolutely contrary sitution. And please don't kill yourself - for your own sake - I really can't imagine a more ignoble suicide note. Death by SHOBA. Don't get me wrong, we're flattered that you like the site . . but . . . we're really not special. At all. Could you realize that or something? Please? Thank you. - Succubus

Necron replies, of course.

January 21st, 2002
Subject: die
hey succubis, now i am really tired of listening to yer ingnerance. you are nothing but a worth less mortal and will die like the planton you are, why the prinsess tolerates you i don't know, but i;m sure it is all so she can over see yer gory death. you don't know me so there is nothing you vcan say, you can not controll my fate. but the prinsess can and if she wants me to die i will die. i am born in the shadows of the misstress and i will die in the shadows of the misstress. so shut up yer ignorant mouth. - necron

And Necron continues...

January 22nd, 2002
Subject: what have i done
dear satan its been a while, i guess. i don't know what has been yer desision regardeing me but because you know all and concerning the forces of darkness, ar the prinsess, i trust that its only to farther the agendda of evil. i have talked to the succubis and i find her sommeone who is ignorent, and who's utterly not worthy of yer kewlness and kompanionnship. she drove me nearly to relinkishing my immoratality, to stooping to the level of the merest plankton that is humanity. but i am not like them. i will not die and she is stuppid to think that she can get rid of me. for i have not only you, satan, prinsess of darkness on my side, who prevents me from the fate of mortals i have the spooky children who are numerise, and marilyn mansun, who's carft sustains me. so what im saying is that you should relinkishh her compeny, makew her meet her emilashun. i love you with great reverense, just want you to know that, kay? i truly don't want to offend yu, i want to know you for prehaps the rest of my life, which is untill the end of time. do you understand. i can love you tenderley and with the greatest of emotiion. i can not exspress this enuff. i visit the site to see you and yer artwork which are both beautifull. none else can possibley compare not even the marilyn mansun sites i wership you at cuz the ydont know what satan really looks like, that she is a beautifull gurl. a beautfull gurl that i love and wership cuz she's kewl and beautifull. please forgive me if i've ever donme you any worng i don't mean to but i am nothing but a big failure in the mortal koill. only the darkness you rule makes me feel a sense of aclompishment in makking many souls meet emilashun. all i can say art this point is i love you. i want to meet you. i KNOW we could bond in manny ways that you'd appreshiate the spooku children and we could lust for the blood of meaning, the blood of flesh the blood of virginal spesemen. so take this into yer consideation, as the prinsess of darkness you should all ready know all i've said. love and bloody kisses, NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

I reply, trying to dissuade him again.

Subject: RE: what have i done
Necron -
You are one fucked up bitch. You don't love me - you don't even KNOW me. And how DARE you insult my friends and think that's flattering! They are MY friends, and you are not even close to an acquaintance!
Your world of spooky children, Marilyn Manson, and Satan is all fantasy. It does not exist within my life - Satan is JUST a nickname! - and by god, it does NOT exist outside of your head! You will NOT live happily ever after with me. I AM NOT LIKE YOU. I DO NOT WANT TO MEET YOU.
You are nothing but a pathetic, misguided, and deluded spore. Get out of my sight - you've proved yourself more than "unwerthy" to be associated with me.
There, is THAT what you wanted to hear? I HATE YOU. Can I make that any clearer to your drug-addled brain? I H-A-T-E Y-O-U. Nothing is going to change that. So GO AWAY!

That didn't stop him, though.

January 23rd, 2002
Subject : MY CORSPE YER DESISHEN OF EMILASHUN
satan, yer right, i am all fucked up, but i need yer help. i am very suicidal right now i am deadly serios. sometimes whenn the balene of life ecskludes you from it's mortal koill it's hard to deal, to take a bloww like a man shold. look i am telling the truth when i tell you that i am not like other peple. i want you to understand that and amang other thnigs. i love you the powor of love is so strong it over powors all the analitys of mortals. cant you see that. i have such a bond with you i feel i know you from yer site whcih gives me meaning. hate - like you ask me how i can love you, i ask you how you can hate me. you don't know me ether, but im a sensitbre feeling kind of guy. i can take kare of you. if yer not satan even i don't believe that cuz you are such a pretty prinsess. you are like me maybe not on the oustide cents you are a gurl and i am a boy vampyre but in ways that are deep. i can see things deeper then mortals can and believe me. we are so the same. don't be mad satan. i am reely hurt, tho. my werld is not a fantsy as you said it is real and i am doomed. konsider this before you hate me any more. seeya - josh NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

I think somebody noticed something...

January 25th
Subject: you've done it
oh yer in deep shit now succubis. it's yer fault the prinsess hates me YER afult i saw the art you are moking dark ness and you will pay with yer blood. you have convinsed her that i am no good and that she cant love me well, you can't dabbel with these matters and get away with it. you are to stoopid to see that this is serieis biznis, and that the spooky children my infernle wright of vampyres will hunt you down and you will meet yer emilashun. only thing to tell will be the gashes in yer neck from where we lusted fer yer blood. god i love her i fucking do and you ruwened it. i will commit suicide but not before yer death. NECRON ROMANCER OF YER DEATH

Oh, Necron, you're spooky, all right, just not the way you think you are...

January 26th, 2002
Subject: BROKEN DARKNESS REACH OWT DOOMCHILDREN
hey look satan, i've made desishuns i regret lately. do you read thesuccubises letters. is that why you say you hate me? look she made me real angrey and it's under standable as she made great mokkery of my carft. those kartoons reely don't have any thing to do with the dark arts that inklude vampyres, satan, whiches and others like marilyn mansun and the spooky children. in the coven that the spooky childrun and me per form our dark arts like the dissikrasun of mortal flesh romoveal of blood from mortal flesh exedra we talk bout this situashun. i will fergive the succubis if it makes the prinsess happy i will not suck her probabley soyuled blood. for you. ya know i'm a sensitive guy and love ya. did some thinkin and this is my conklushun. so you know. bye now. ~josh~ NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

And just to clarify himself:

Subject: HA HA
hey satan in my last letter i said the succubises blood is soyuled it was a joke. ha ha. so don't be angrey, it was a joke and you shold understand. ha ha ha. is it reely soyuled, tho? ha ha.
time to drink blood. the hour has come. i'll meet you in the shadows. bloody kisses NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

As if laughing makes the "joke" sound better....

Upon mentioning Necron to my dearest Troll, he decided to email the spore as well...

January 26th, 2002
Subject: (none)
Greetings,
I understand that you have developed an infatuation with my dearest Satan. I feel obligated to inform you that she is, indeed, merely mortal. It is also my pleasure to inform you that she is mine. All mine. Satan and I have been close since first grade. She and I have shared many long and happy years together. Though she has many obsessions, I love them all, and her.
Satan is beautiful. That's a given. She is, however, claimed and I think she rather enjoys it... must be the accent... Well, I believe that completes my task. Please understand, that Satan and I are most happy together. So, to be blunt, sod off.
-Adelar the Troll
(and Keeper of Satan's heart)

You better believe he got a response...

January 27th, 2002
Subject: DIE IN PITT OF DOOM THAT IS YER FATE MORTAL
hey troll whose this? you don't stand a chance aginst me and my coven of vampyres, the spooky children.cents when is satan some one whose been to skool? the prinsess of darkness knows only her carft and the evil of destrskshun and dissikarshun of mortan flesh, i am sure of this fact. i have read lots of doktrins of reverund marilyn mansun-let me tell you, it's inpossibel for satan to be mortal. and i saw the prinsess first she loves me to and we tallked alot till the succubis drew kartoons that drove me into the shadows of a darkned blood-hungreing soul. now i see deep beneeth the sur face of humanity, plankton, do you understand. soyuled is the neck of hairytick mortal troll. necron livs ferever. doomchildren untie aginst foe. the prinsess is mine stay away. NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

Aie dun weent tuu skool fer fifeteen yeaurs so Aie kould lurn whow tuu speel lek thes. Whow aboot uu?

Subject: Re: DIE IN PITT OF DOOM THAT IS YER FATE MORTAL
Necron,
You really are a fascinating pillock. You cannot possibly claim that you saw my dearest Satan first. She and I have grown up together. I have attended many of her birthday parties, and had the joy of taking her out for her most recent one. Do you know when her birthday is, or even how old she is? I do. [Makes me blush, darnit... -Satan]
Who am I to claim Satan? Simply a gentlemen intent of defending her honor, and beauty, and insanity. To reiterate, we grew up together. We have our very own language, and I'm her hug monster. She likes me, far more than she does you. Go ahead, ask her. I assure you, she knows what I look like, and what I do. [Gah, Troll, stop it...]
Oh dear, there I go again. Yes, well, I hope that answers your questions. As to my death, my dear boy, you simply will not be able to kill me. I am far to strong, and Satan would probably mutilate or possibly kill you first. She's so cute when she's violent and blood thirsty.
Really my dear boy, if you are the 'Romancer of Death' should you not be romancing death, instead of my dearest Satan? Really, to be bothering a female already claimed, and happily so.
Well, I believe I have prattled on enough. Feel free to rant at me further. I find it all rather amusing, and I do so love a good laugh. Satan says I should laugh more... something about it being cute... of course, she says a lot of things along those lines...
-Adelar the Troll
(keeper of Satan's love)

Necron continues his rambles to Troll:

January 28th, 2002
Subject: [Unknown]
troll look we can talk bout this man too man, for first i am a vampyre but i am a man too and i can ashur you that i love the prinsess, i have wershiped her for years in fact. satan is my lord and miss tress i didn't know,tho, that she was such a pretty gurl and now ive found that. she filled my life with the sweet ness that is doom and blood cuz she gave me vampyre powers and gives me diminien over the coven of the spoo,ky children. do you understand. she does not love you,get it strait-she gave you no powers like me. i am a man who has knowne many virgin spesemns and blood is familier to me so stay away and dont touch her flesh. she is not mortal you fool. dissikrate doomflesh die troll. oh yeah i can't die cuz i'm immoratl. get it strait. NECROM ROMANCER OF DEATH

Troll tries again:

Subject: Good morning…
Good morning,
Let me begin by explaining my actions, I returned your previous correspondence with corrections included. For a vampyre, your spelling is horrid. I felt obligated to show you a few errors, and explain a few differences between words. Do you not have a dictionary, or do you find them too difficult to use?
Now, as to my dearest Satan and I. I don't worship Satan, I'm simply dating her. You claim you love her, but she has yet to tell me to stop this correpsodence informing you of the relationship that she and I have with one another. This, to me, shows that she does not love you. She has let me claim her as my bird, not yours.
Dark powers? Who needs dark powers when you have the gift of light? Really my dear boy, try pulling your head out of your arse and looking at the world around you. Granted, there is great darkness, but far more light.
If you really do have a coven of vampyres, are any of them native speakers of the English language? If so, perhaps you should have them help you with your grammer problems. I do not mind right now, but you should find somebody you can work with and listen to. Really, you have a gift for mutilating the Queen's English.
Well, now comes the big question, vampyre boy, how old are you? When were you turned? What breed of vampyre are you? What dark powers has my lady love granted you? I should probably let you know, she denies ever granting you any power... perhaps you halucinated it all...
I am not adverse to discussing this man-to-man as you so aptly put it. I shall, however, point out, that as a vampyre, you cannot be counted as a man. Manhood is decided by the ability to reproduce, create offspring. Unless you have a hottub and get lucky, I doubt we'll ever see little baby Necrons.
[Troll! Really! For shame! Making good little Satan blush so...]
Well, there we have it. For an ignorant little poncer, you really are amusing. Still, seek help with that grammer. I am positive that if you stick with it, you shall start to understand the more difficult concept of spelling.
-Adelar the Troll
(Guardian of Satan's being)

And Necron attacks me!

Subject : LOVE FOR DOOMED KORPSIKLE
hey prinsess its been a while yeah. so i'm havingb some trubel with some mortal whose name is troll who says he's yer boyfirend.i know enuff bout the doktrines of marilyn mansun and he's not, i didn't read it there. he will die, he's a lyer. lyers are hairyticks and will be punished by the powers of doom. a vampyre is capabel of doom not only to bodys but too souls. look i am gonna prove to yui my man hood. for first i am a man as well as a vampyre, and you are mine, prinsess, this troll will die and you will help me make him meet his emilashun. the throws of death are over me and i need yer loving tocuh so pleeeeeeeze write back gurl. my flesh withhers away as i speek. do you remember i won't suck the succubises blood for ya. so don't be mad if yer mad there s no things to worry bout. i am thirsting for blood, but my love for you is eternel, prinsess. my bloody kiss on yer hand is all i kan offer. seeya i hope. i'm not worhty, prinsess but give me a chanse.-josh-NECRON ROMANCER OF DEATH

I KNOW you aren’t “worhty.” That’s why we’re poking fun at you.