The Further Trials of Kunzite and Nephy at the Mercy of the Knights
"Is there anywhere where we could buy a shubbery?" Kunzite asked.
Crossing herself in terror she stared at the two kings. "Who sent you?"
"The Knights who say NI!" Kunzite replied.
The crone screamed. "No! We have no shrubberies here!"
"Surely, there must be." Nephlyte added.
Kunzite thought for a moment. "Listen, old crone! Unless you tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will. . . we will say NI!"
"Do your worst!" The crone shouted.
"Very well, old crone. Since you will not assist us voluntarily. . .NI!" Kunzite replied, fighting back his embaressment.
"No, never! No shrubberies!" She gasped.
"Ni!" Kunzite persisted.
"NU!"
Kunzite blinked and glanced at Nephlyte. "No. Ni! More like this. NI!"
Nephlyte thought a moment. "Ni, ni, ni!"
"That's it. Ni! Ni!"
"Are you saying Ni to that old woman?"
Both kings whirled and stared in embaressment at the youma behind them. "Erm. . yes." Kunzite answered, trying not to blush.
"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffieans can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land! Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this point in time." The youma lamented.
Kunzite's ears perked up. "Did you say shrubberies?"
"Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies." Replied the youma.
Nephlyte suddenly lunged at him. "NI!"
Kunzite grabbed him and hauled him back. "No, no, no! Bad Nephlyte! Down!" He sighed, he was starting to get another headache. At least they'd found the shrubber.
Back in the forest the shrubbery has been arranged and the two kings now faced the head knight.
"Oh, Knights of Ni, here is your shrubber. May we go now?" Kunzite asked.
The head knight nodded. "That is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. . . but there is one small problem."
"What is that?" The elder king asked suspiciously.
"We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni!"
In the background one of the youma shouted out NI! but was promptly shushed by his fellow youma.
"We are now the Knights Who Go Neeeeeeow. . .wum. . .ping mumble mumble!" The knight continued.
The forest errupted into shouts of NI! and Peng! as well as SHHHH!s by the smarter youma.
"Therefore. . . we are no longer contractually bound by any agreements previously entered into by the Knights Who Say NI!"
Again there were shouts of NI! and Peng! and Shhhh!s but this time the head knight actually turned and shouted "Shut up!" to his subbordanants. Turning back to Kunzite he continued. "Therefore we must give you a test. A test to satisfy the Knights who say Neeeeeow. . . wum. . . ping mumble mumble!"
"What is this test, Knights of N. . ." Kunzite paused unable to remember exactly what they now called themselves. ". . . Recently Knights of Ni!"
"Firstly, you must get us another shrubbery!" the head knight shouted. "More shrubberies! More shrubberies for the ex-Knights of NI!" Echoed his words.
"Not another shrubbery!" Kunzite gasped.
"When you have found the shrubbery, place the shrubbery here, beside this shrubbery. . .only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a path down the middle." The knight ordered. "A path! A little path for the late Knights of NI!" came the unanimous cry. "When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest. . .with a herring!"
Kunzite growled, fed up with the youma. "We shall do no such thing! Let us pass!" He ordered.
"Oh please?" The head knight begged.
"Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done!" Kunzite reasoned.
All the youma suddenly recoiled in horror. "Don't say that word!" The head knight shouted.
Kunzite blinked. "What word?"
"I cannot tell you. Suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni! cannot hear!" The knight whimpered.
"How can we not say the word, if you don't tell us what it is?" The elder king demanded.
"You said it again!" The knight shouted.
"What? Is?" Kunzite asked.
The head knight snorted. "No, no. . . not is."
Singing suddenly burst forth from deep in the forest.
"Bravely good Sir Zoisite was not at all afraid To have his eyeballs skewerd. . . "
Ignoring the siging the knight continued. "Is is all right. You wouldn't get far not saying is."
Nephlyte peered into the forest and grinned. "Kunzite! It's Zoisite!"
The knight screamed. "You've said the word again!"
Zoisite and his minstrels appeared in the clearning.
". . . and his kidneys burnt and his nipples skewered off. . ." Zoisite whirled on the minstrel. Silencing him with a growl.
"Zoisite!" Kunzite cried out, beckoning him over.
"Kunzy! It's good to have found you again. . ." Zoisite started.
"Now she's said the word!" The knight shouted.
"HE'S!!!!" Zoisite corrected over Nephlyte's snorttles.
"Where are you going Zoisite?" Kunzite asked.
Zoisite opened his mouth but his minstrel cut him off.
"He was going home. . he was giving up, He was throwing in the sponge."
"Shut up!" The blonde king shrieked. "No. . .errr. . .no. . .I . . errr. . I . . errr. . I certenly wasn't giving up. . . I was actually looking for the cape think in this forest!"
"No, it lies beyond this forest." Kunzite informed him.
"Stop saying the word!" The knight huffed.
Losing his patience Kunzite whirled on the knights. "Oh, stop it!"
"They're all saying the word!" The other youma cried.
"Stop saying it!" The knight demanded. "Aaaarrrggghhh. . .I've said it. . ."
"You've said it! Aaarrggghhh! We've said it! We're all saying it!" The others screamed.
Sighing, Kunzite beckoned Nephlyte and Zoisite and they picked through way through the helpless Knights of of NI and continued on through the forest.
