Deep in the deepest forest of the Dark Kingdom Lord Jedite was riding along with his trusty servant, Titus.
"And ... o v e r ... we go!" Jedite crowed as he strode over a big tree trunk. Titus, clicking coconut shells together did a run and jump percussion.
"Well taken, Titus!" He applauded.
Titus blushed. "Thank you sir, most kind."
"And another!"
Titus again imitated the sound of a jump but accidently missed a beat.
"Steady!" Jedite ordered. "Good, and the last one. . "
Titus did the run-up impression with her coconuts when there was suddenly a THWACK! sound. Grunting she fell to the ground. "Message for you, sir." She gasped out.
"Titus! Speak to me!" Jedite cried out as he knelt down next to his fallen companion. Noticing an arrow sticking out of her chest he yanked it out and pulled off the note. "Hmmm, To whomever finds this note. . . I have been imprisioned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, pleae, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." Jedite's eyes widened. "At last! A call! A cry of distress!" Drawing his sword he stood and looked down at Titus. "Titus! Brave, Titus. . . you shall not have died in vain!"
"I'm not quite dead, sir. . ." Titus pointed out.
"Oh, well. . .errr. . . brave Titus! You shall not have been fatally wounded in vain!"
Titus shook her head. "I think I could pull through, sir."
"Good Titus. . .stay here and rest awhile." Jedite turned, sword raised to go save the author of the note.
"I think I'll be all right to come with you, sir." Titus said sitting up.
"I will send help, brave friend, as soon as I have accomplished this most daring, desperate adventure in this genre!" Jedite shouted back.
"Really, I feel fine, sir!" Titus shouted.
"Farewell, Titus!"
"It just seems silly. . me lying here." Titus grumbled.
Jedite plunged off into the forest, ignoring his companion.
Two youma sentries with spears were standing guard at the Swamp Castle. The stood together speaking quietly while listening to the reverly that was going on inside. One sentry suddenly nudge the other and pointed out in the distance. They stood together for quite some time while they watched the man come running up to them. When he came close one of the sentries raised a hand in greeting.
Jedite growled and leapt at him with his sword, running him through. Crying out in victory he continued through the gate, waving his sword meancingly.
"Hey!" The second sentry screamed out at the retreating form, glancing down at his slain comrade.
Inside, Jedite rushed into a crowd of wedding guests who were dancing and basically just enjoying the day. He charged through the crowd, hacking left and right as he accendened the stairs. .
Jedite burst into the actual castle, slashing heroically, hacking, wounding and killing. He fought his way up another flight of stairs and through a small door.
Jedite reached out and flug open the door at the top of the stairs and stormed in.
"Ah! Now. . we're not allowed to. . ." The first guard started but was interrupted as Jedite ran him through with his sword and then promptly killed the other guard, who still hadn't gotten his drink of water.
Dropping to his knees before the lone occupant in the room Jedite spoke. "Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, King Jedite, from the Court of the Dark Kingdom. I have come to take you . . ." at this point he glanced up for the first time, unable to stand the suspense of not seeing the beautiful princess he had just rescued, ". . . I'm terribly sorry!" He quickly stood up when he realized that he knelt before no princess but a tall dark haired man.
Endymion clapped his hands in delight. "You got my note!"
Jedite blinked. "Well. . .yes. . ."
"You've come to rescue me?" Endymion pressed, his eyes twinkling.
Jedite shifted uncomfortably. "Well. . .yes. . .but I hadn't realized. . ."
"I knew that someone would come. I knew somewhere out there, there must be. . ." Music flowed in as Endymion spread his arms.
Suddenly the king burst through the door and the music died off quickly at his "Stop that!" command. "Who are you?" He demanded.
Endymion cocked his head. "I'm your son!"
"Not you!"
Jedite grimaced slightly. "I'm. . .errr. . . King Jedite, sir."
"He's come to rescue me, father!" Endymion shouted out joysly.
"Well, let's not jump to conclusions." Jedite was quick to put in.
The king ignored him and looked at the two guards. "Did you kill all those guards?" He asked pointing his thumb outside.
Jedite gulped. "Yes, I'm very sorry. . ."
"They cost fifty pounds each!" The king shrieked.
"Well, I really am most awfully sorry but I. . .I can explain everything!" Jedite assured.
Endymion snuck up behind the embarressed king and nudged him. "Don't be afraid of him, Sir Jedite. I've got a rope here all ready. . ." He turned and threw the rope out of the window. Looking rather pleased with himself he gestured to where it was attached to the table leg.
"You killed eight wedding guests in all!" THe king continued to rant, ignoring his son.
"Er, well, the thing is. . . I thought your son was a lady." Jedite explained.
The king nodded. "I can understand that."
Already half way out the window, Endymion shouted, "Hurry brave King Jedite!"
The king growled at his son. "Shut up!" Turning back to Jedite he added. "You only killed the bride's father, that's all!"
Jedite winced. "Oh dear, I didn't really mean to. . ."
"Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!" The king shouted.
"Gosh, is he all right?"
The king ignored the question. "You even kicked the bride in the chest! It's going to cost me a fortune!"
"I can explain. . I was in the forest riding north from Nephy's Lot when I got this note. . ." Jedite quickly replied.
"Nephy's Lot? You're from Nephy's Lot?" The king asked, suddenly intrigued.
Endymion poked his head back in the window to shout "Hurry!" but was promptly ignored.
Jedite straightened his posture. "I am, sir. I am a King of the Dark Kingdom."
The king nodded. "Hmmm, very nice castle, Nephy's Lot. Very good pig country."
"Is it?" Jedite asked.
"I am ready, King Jedite!" Endymion shouted from outside.
"Do you want to come and have a drink?" The king asked, putting his arm around Jedite's shoulders.
"Oh that's awfully nice."
"I'm ready!" Endymion shouted again.
As the two kings started out of the room, Endymion's father pulled out his knife and cut the rope his son was climbing down. There was a slight pause before the satisfying sound of Endymion hitting the ground.
"It's just that when I'm in this genre, I tend to get over excited and start to leap around and wave my sword about. . .and. . ." Jedite mumbled as they walked.
"Oh don't worry about that," The king assured, "tell me. . . " He put his arm around Jedite's shoulders as they went though the door.
As the two kings descend the stairs they were met with a gruesome scene. Guests were tending to the dead and injured, sighing and groaning. Beryl, holding her chest and coughing blood didn't seem to be quite all there due to her unfortunate run in with Jedite.
One of the guests noticed the pair and pointed at Jedite. "There he is!" He shouted. All the remaning, unharmed men suddenly rushed up the stairs screaming at Jedite. Grabbing his sword Jedite ran down to meet them with a battle cry.
The king looked around in horror. "Hold it!"
Jedite ignored the king's cry and began hacking and slashing his way through the crowd. Following him down, the king finally got a hold on Jedite and pulled him back up. "Hold it please!"
Slowly coming back to himself Jedite looks about. "Sorry! Sorry. . .there you see! I just got excited again and I got carried away. I'm ever so sorry."
One of the guests looked up. "He's killed the best man!"
"He's killed my auntie!" another cried.
The king held up his hands. "No, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of holy wedlock. Unfortunatly, one of them, my son Endymion, has just fallen to his death. But I don't want to think I;ve not lost a son. . . so much as gained a daughter. . . for since the tragic death of her father. . ."
A shout from the back interupted the king's speech. "He's not quite dead!"
Grumbling the king amended. "Since the fatal wounding of her father. . ."
"I think he's getting better!"
Growling openly the king nodded to one of his soldiers. Watching the soldier slip off he began again. "For. . .since her own father. . .who. . .when he seemed about to recover. . .suddenly felt the icy. . .hand of death upon him. . ."
The sound of a scuffle in the back rose up then quickly died. "Oh, he's dead!" Someone shouted.
Grinning the king continued. "I want his only daughter, from now onwards, to think of me as her old dad, in a very real and legally binding sense."
Applause sprang up as he went on. "And I'm sure that the merger. . .er. . the union between the Queen and the brave but dangerous King Jedite of Nephy's Lot. . ."
Jedite blinked then gasped. "WHAT?!?"
A gasp arose from the crowd as Titus entered carrying Endymion in her arms. "The dead Prince!" The crowd shouted.
"He's not quite dead!" Titus corrected.
"I feel much better." Endymion added.
His father shoke with rage. "You feel out of the Tall Tower you creep!"
"I was saved at the last minute." Endymion replied.
"How?"
"Well I'll tell you. . ." A music intro swept through the crowd as Titus helped the prince stand on a table.
His father's eyes widened. "Not like that!"
This time the music didn't stop and the crowd began to get into it with whispers of "He's going to tell!"
The king screamed and ran about shouting "Shut up!" Beryl, meanwhile, simply sat, still too dazed to recognize her attacker.
"Quickly sir! Come this way!" Titus beckoned.
"No!" Jedite replied. "It's not right for my idiom. I must escape more. . more. . " He paused, unable to remember the word.
Sighing Titus glanced up at him. "Dramatically sir?"
"Dramatically!" Jedite yelled as he ran all the way to the top of the stairs. Grabbing a rope he swung over the crowd in a swashbuckling manner towards a large window. However he didn't quite make it to the window and swung pathetically back and forth. "Excuse me!" He shouted. "Could somebody give me a push?
