Chapter Fifteen

It was over. The bastard was finally dead.

Zoisite felt relief surge through him, despite the fact that he was close to death himself. His entire body was thrumming with agony, his heart beating faster than he'd ever felt it, and he felt as though any second he might pass out from the pain. But he had won, and that was all that mattered.

However, it wasn't over yet. Sailor Moon was still alive, sobbing over her fallen hero as Zoisite watched. She didn't matter though. Metallia would have told him if she was any threat. It was Tuxedo Kamen that was to be the cause of his death, and as of this moment Zoisite was relieved of that constant threat, that prophecy that had been hovering over his life for so long. Zoisite would survive, and he could finally be with his beloved forever.

At the moment, that outcome didn't seem very likely. He couldn't even stand, much less defeat the ever-present Sailor brat. If only he had some way to teleport out... but no, he was too weak for that. He could only hope that there was a way to get out of this- He was startled as he saw Kunzite appear out of the corner of his eye, and suddenly breathed a sigh of relief. "Kunzite-sama..."

Kunzite glanced at him briefly, but his eyes flickered back to the fallen Tuxedo Kamen and remained there. He was surprised, that much Zoisite could tell. Perhaps Kunzite had not really thought he would kill his nemesis, just mortally wound him?

But it didn't matter now. None of it mattered. He was alive, and Kunzite had come for him! They would escape together, leaving these brats behind. Without their hero, the senshi were no match for the Dark Kingdom, and it would only be a matter of time before the Dark Kingdom conquered Earth and he and Kunzite were finally rid of the nightmare forever. They would live happily ever after.

How cliché. Zoisite almost felt skeptical.

Kunzite finally broke his trancelike staring and again glanced at Zoisite, leaning over to pick him up in his strong arms and pull him upward. Zoisite leaned into his lover, relaxing slightly, and smiled as he felt the room shift, felt Kunzite's arms tighten around him. Before long they were again in Kunzite's chambers and he was finally, finally safe.

"Zoisite, what were you thinking?"

Zoisite heard the hissed question before opening his eyes, startled at the intensity of Kunzite's expression. He gazed in confusion at his white-haired lover for a moment, and then smiled weakly. "I killed him, Kunzite-sama. It's finally over."

Kunzite stared at him in utter bewilderment, as though he'd just spoken Greek. Zoisite tried to sit up, but the pain inside of him grew more intense at that movement, and so he merely rested as Kunzite watched him with that same astonished expression. "What do you mean it's over, Zoisite?! Beryl specifically told you not to kill him!"

Now Zoisite recognized the tone of Kunzite's voice. His lover was in a slight panic, desperate for any kind of admission of guilt from Zoisite, but none was forthcoming. It was an odd thing to hear from Kunzite, who was always so calm, so collected. It almost frightened him. "I had to do it, Kunzite-sama. He would have destroyed me... Metallia told me he would."

Again, Kunzite fell into staring at him, but this time the expression in his eyes was almost severe, intense with exasperated anger. "How long ago was this?"

Zoisite felt as though he were drifting. "... the first night I spent here, in the Dark Kingdom. She came to me in a dream and told me that Tuxedo Kamen-"

"Zoisite! Why didn't you tell me?"

Zoisite opened his mouth to try to speak, but no sound came out. He could only think of how strange it was, that Kunzite was so angry, when he had done the right thing! Why wasn't Kunzite proud of him! Metallia had told him...

Zoisite sighed. "You never seemed to care before..."

"You know, you truly are frustrating sometimes. Of course I care..."

Zoisite heard the falseness of this statement, or perhaps just the anger in it, and he turned his face away. It was one thing to hear the lie in his words... but far more shattering to see it in his eyes. "No, you don't care about me, you never have. It's always been just about surviving, hasn't it? Just like how I was with Nephrite. I never loved him, Kunzite-sama. I only used him to bear this place... and now I know that that's exactly what I was to you. Nothing more than a distraction-"

Zoisite! Come to my throne room immediately!

Zoisite and Kunzite stared at each other for a moment, their anger dissipating into trepidation, and then Kunzite scowled. "You're in no condition to go anywhere. Let her wait."

"I'm not afraid of her, Kunzite-sama."

Something shattered in Kunzite's eyes, and he frowned, his expression becoming almost annoyed. "Of course not, Zoisite. You're not afraid of anything, are you?"

The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable. A month ago he would have wept at the tone, but there was nothing inside of him but a bitterness to mirror Kunzite's own, and he could only shrug. "Not anymore."

Kunzite scowled as he helped Zoisite to stand, supporting him with one arm. Zoisite winced as Kunzite wrapped his other arm around Zoisite's waist, his grip almost painfully tight, and met Zoisite's eyes for a fleeting moment... almost as though he was afraid that Zoisite would disappear suddenly. He didn't have time to evaluate this gesture, and was much too tired to see the significance of it, but instead closed his eyes and tried to keep himself from fainting in exhaustion as the room faded around him.

Beryl was at her throne, as usual, with the Jadeite-statue behind her and her eyes narrowed as she grinned ferally at them. Zoisite almost lost his bearing for a moment, but Kunzite's presence beside him, as well as the contact between them, gave him more confidence than he should have possessed, perhaps. He slouched slightly in Kunzite's arms, trying desperately to look dignified but failing miserably.

Beryl's eyes were hard, and her voice cut through his skull. "Zoisite, you have deliberately disobeyed my orders."

Zoisite looked up at her, his own face expressionless. He could feel Kunzite's eyes on him, and Beryl's as well, but it did nothing to shatter his confidence. Metallia was with him, wasn't she? She had always protected him in the past. She had promised.

"I did what I had to do, Beryl-sama. You wanted to defeat them, didn't you? Now you can."

Beryl's grin faded, replaced by such a furious scowl that it almost looked as if she were chewing on his words in distaste. "You insolent whelp. How dare you presume to take matters into your own hands. I told you I wanted him alive!"

Zoisite flinched at her words, but kept what little bearing he had left. He couldn't afford to crumble in front of her now, he'd come too far.

"Please, my Queen, give me another chance. I only wanted to serve our cause, to free Metallia! I can still do it, if you'll let me." His voice was now barely a whisper, the exhaustion making it hard to focus, but he was still painfully aware of Kunzite's arms around him, of the intense expression that he could only feel rather than see coming from his lover.

Beryl stared at him for the longest moment, and for a fleeting instant he thought that perhaps she had forgotten him, or turned into a statue like the one of Jadeite behind her. But then her eyes flickered towards Kunzite, and his confidence shattered. If she were to take out her wrath on Kunzite...

"I must admit, I was partly responsible for this, my Queen," Kunzite spoke up softly, "I could have stopped him, but I did not."

Zoisite stared at him, completely bewildered, strangely touched by his words and fearful of them at the same time.

Before them, Beryl smiled. "Then perhaps I should make an example of him to ensure that you do not make the same mistake again."

Before either of them could register what this comment meant, Beryl unleashed an extremely powerful blast of energy that sent Zoisite reeling into the wall behind them. Kunzite looked back, startled, as Zoisite slumped to the floor, his head hitting the floor with a sickening crack.

"My Queen-"

Beryl fixed her heated gaze on Kunzite and motioned with her head towards the now still figure of Zoisite, crumbled on the floor like a broken doll.

"Get rid of it."

* * * * *

"Zoisite..."

"Metallia! It's you... what has happened to me? Where am I?"

There is a pause, and Zoisite looks around in panic. He heard a voice, he knows he did. She is there with him, somewhere. "Metallia..."

"You are dying, Zoisite."

The words hit him with a discernable blow. He has all this time thought himself invincible! "How did this happen?"

"You disobeyed your Queen, Zoisite; took matters into your own hands. An action punishable by death."

Zoisite sees her now, standing before him with a terribly regal air, standing at least three feet taller than him and glowering down at him with an expression of pure hatred. She looks...

"My God.... Mother! It's you!"

His mother smiles slightly, though her eyes still hold extreme malice, and she kneels down in order to look into his eyes.

Zoisite can only stare at her. It looks like her... but the look in her eyes is completely alien. Zoisite flinches back, wounded by the hostility she projects, and she smiles as though enjoying his fear.

"Yes, Zoisite, I am your mother. Do you remember now? Not only the good things, but the bad as well?"

"Bad... what do you mean?"

His mother stands slowly, pointing one slim finger behind him, and he turns around slowly, afraid of what he might see. Behind him is his mother and father, standing over him as he slouches, defeated, in one of his mother's dresses which hangs off of one shoulder due to it's size.

"You little freak!" His father says, his tone furious. "Take that off this minute! What were you thinking?" His father grabs him roughly, tearing the dress, and his mother holds him back, frowning at him and shaking her head. Zoisite, watching this, feels a surge of joy at his mother's intervention, but then she speaks.

"Please, Greg... that dress cost me fifty dollars."

Zoisite stares at her, and then at the small boy before him, completely astonished. No... this wasn't real. He didn't remember this at all.

His father walks out, and the young Julian is left alone with his mother, afraid to meet her eyes. She stares down at him, her mouth hard.

"Jesus Christ, Julian. Why can't you just be normal!?"

Zoisite feels his heart stop in his chest as he hears the frantic desperation in her voice. Julian looks up at her, tears in his eyes, and she frowns at him.

"You think you have so many problems..." she says lightly. Julian continues to stare at her. "You don't even know what pain is, Julian. You've never loved someone who didn't love you. And do you know why he doesn't love me?"

Julian shakes his head slowly, his tear-filled eyes wide. Zoisite realizes with some surprise that he is only five years old when this has occurred. He remembers it, if only vaguely.

"He doesn't love me because of this, Julian. This!" She grabs two fistfuls of the dress, glaring at him and shaking him violently to accentuate her words. Julian flinches back from her.

His mother stares at him for a moment, and then takes Julian in her arms as he cries, rubbing his back consolingly. Zoisite remembers this vaguely as he watches, feels a faint hope that perhaps she loves him after all...

But then his mother rolls her eyes and he can suddenly hear her thoughts.

God, I'm such a monster. I hate my own son.

Zoisite feels the room fade around him as he feels tears spring into his own eyes. No... no that wasn't real. He has to keep his wits about him, if he is to survive this with his sanity intact.

He realizes with another slight twinge of surprise that the young Julian is still there, in his torn dress, his shoulders hunched as he looks at the floor, his back to Zoisite. Slowly, he turns his head around and stares at Zoisite through the corner of his eye.

"You."

His voice is tiny, childlike, and for a moment it is completely unnerving to hear such anger and malevolence coming from such a lilting, angelic voice. Julian continues to stare at him, and Zoisite moves forward slowly, fear making his movements sluggish.

"You... you're me," Zoisite whispers, kneeling in front of him. Julian's expression is almost stoic now as he looks down on Zoisite, but there is a fury in his eyes that seems almost monstrous in a child so young. His eyes are heavy lidded and clear green, but no longer hold any unshed tears.

"No, I am not you. I am someone else. You aren't Julian any more... you're her."

"Her?"

Julian's eyes drift upwards and settle behind him, and he turns to see the Metallia from his prior dreams standing behind them. "Yes, Zoisite. Me. You belong to me now."

Julian moves away from him and walks toward Metallia, and she holds her arms out and picks him up, cradling him against her. Julian turns and looks again at Zoisite with that same expression, devoid of emotion, his eyes now blank. Zoisite can only stare at him.

"You killed Nephrite," he says in that high pitched, lilting childlike voice which nevertheless holds a condescending tone. "You killed your father, your mother, and your Prince." Julian pauses for a moment, his head tilting to the side. "You killed me."

Zoisite can't speak. He feels tears spring into his eyes suddenly, and can no longer hold them back. He falls to the floor in a heap, covering his eyes with his hands, unable to look at them any longer. The two of them, staring at him in utter contempt.

He looks up, startled, when he feels a hand on his shoulder, and sees Metallia standing before him. Julian is gone from his view.

"You said you would protect me!" Zoisite hisses at her, his eyes pleading, "You said you would help me defeat her! You promised!"

Metallia's expression becomes suddenly compassionate, and she kneels before him so that she can look into his eyes. She then leans forward so close that her lips just barely touch his ear.

"Zoisite..."

Zoisite closes his eyes, relaxing despite himself, and he can a sudden hatred coming from her, flowing off of her and into him. "I lied."

She then moves away from him and walks backwards, taking Julian's hand as the young version of himself stares at him for one last fleeting moment, his gaze almost compassionate. Then, he turns and walks out with her.

Zoisite is alone.

* * * *

"Zoisite?"

Zoisite opened his eyes groggily, suddenly sorry that he had done so. The pain in his head was unbearable.

He was disoriented for a moment, and couldn't quite figure out what had happened. One moment he'd been alone in that dark, horrible place, and now...

Zoisite tilted his head to the side a little, but was able to ignore the resulting pain when he saw that Kunzite was kneeling beside him. He was... on the bed, alive... but not for long. Strangely, this realization did nothing to frighten Zoisite. He merely accepted it. "Kunzite-sama..."

"I am sorry, Zoisite. It tried to take some of the blame myself, but-"

Zoisite could only stare at him. He looked almost... sad. He shook his head. "No, there was nothing you could have done. She did what she wanted to do, what she has always wanted to do. You knew she always hated me, didn't you?"

Kunzite nodded wordlessly, and fell into staring at Zoisite with an air of fascination. Zoisite wondered what was so fascinating about him suddenly, the fact that he was dying? Was this Kunzite's final cruelty to him, to look upon his death with nothing but curious interest? Zoisite felt insulted, cheated, and... yes, even afraid.

"I'm frightened, Kunzite-sama. I want... I want to go back to..."

Zoisite couldn't properly say the words, but Kunzite's eyes flashed with understanding. He knew what Zoisite wanted. He wanted to go back... to the lake, where he and Kunzite had first departed for the Dark Kingdom. Zoisite could think of nothing else at this point, nothing more safe than being surrounded by the flower petals and warm breezes that had comforted him so often in the past.

"I cannot bring you there, Zoisite.... But perhaps I can bring the lake to you."

With a flap of Kunzite's cape, there were suddenly cherry blossoms all around him, falling onto his face and clothes, into his hair. It was like a gentle rain of flower petals, so fragrant and sweet, and Zoisite closed his eyes and savored the scent one last time. The fear receded then, as though these flimsy petals had the power to overcome it. He was dimly aware that Kunzite was holding him, that the only thing supporting him was Kunzite's arms, and that fact was oddly comforting as well. He opened his eyes languidly, so thankful suddenly that Kunzite was with him. It was almost as if... as if Kunzite loved him.

He had to say it. He would never have the chance again.

"I- I love you Kunzite-sama. I have always loved you. You thought I loved Nephrite, but I didn't. It was always you..."

Kunzite's eyes flashed with astonishment, and Zoisite stared into them, looking for some sign... some sort of signal as to what Kunzite was thinking.

When his beloved said nothing, Zoisite felt his heart sink. Of course Kunzite didn't love him. What had he been thinking? Of all the idiotic things to say...

"Forgive me, Zoisite."

Zoisite felt tears spring into his eyes, completely shamed and humiliated at these words. Kunzite didn't love him. Didn't even care enough to simply say he did, even for a fleeting moment, a dying man's request? Was it too much to ask for that little comfort? Everything he had done had been for Kunzite, and in return he was merely forgotten. But, it had always been that way. With his father, his mother, Nephrite... they all had pretended to love him, and when the moment came to truly test that love, it simply wasn't there. Perhaps Kunzite was even enjoying his pain, enjoying the fact that he was lying there helpless, admitting his own weakness. Zoisite closed his eyes, feeling the darkness wash over him as the tears streaked down his face. It was over.

The flower petals faded, and Kunzite knelt a short while longer as Zoisite dissipated before him, vanishing as though his life, his trials, his pain... meant nothing.

He was gone.

* * * * *

Aw, dry your eyes. I'm the villain, remember? You're supposed to hate me, to think of me as worthy of my ends. Good riddance to bad rubbish, right?

Well, it was only after I had died that I realized just how much suffering I was going to have to go through. As it turned out, because Metallia had such a strong hold over me, something unpredictable happened to my soul when my body died.

I was trapped inside the soul of the Dark Kingdom. Inside Metallia. Inside that godawful crystal ball where Metallia had been trapped for thousands of years. And when I went in, she got out.

In a way, I suppose it was what I had always wanted. To free Metallia. I had finally done something right... Of course, at that time I had finally realized the evil that Metallia was capable of, but it was too late to be redeemed. I had committed my crimes. I was damned a long time ago.

But of course, one thing has made it bearable.

...I don't know if it was real or not, although no kind illusions have ever befallen me in the endless years I've been trapped in this place. It was shortly after I had died, and I was trapped inside this crystal, but I could feel the Dark Kingdom all around me. It was as if I had become the very walls, the very darkness I had feared so much, but there was no way for me to reach out and touch those who were so close to me.

But then I heard it... I will never forget. It was almost like a whisper, barely audible, but unmistakably Kunzite's voice.

"I love you, Zoisite."

Even now, I am doubtful as to whether or not this was real. After all, I can hear nothing of what goes on in the real world anymore. It could have been Metallia, merely taunting me, reminding me of what I had always wanted but could never have. It could have been my own imagination, which has always been very vivid.

But something inside me told me it was him, and I cling to that thought as though my life depends upon it, because in essence it does. It is the only thing that keeps me sane, that small morsel of submission, false or no.

I hope that he is happy... I know that sounds terribly pathetic, but I love Kunzite more than my own life, and the thought that he could ever suffer as I am now... it only heightens my sorrow. I know now how evil Metallia was, how ruthless. She used Beryl as she used me, used Nephrite, used all of us. It is her way. She lies her way into people's hearts and then lies her way out of them. She is now free to wreak her own havoc upon the world, but deep inside I hope that somehow he has managed to be happy.

I sound so unselfish, don't I? That couldn't be further from the truth.

So, do you understand now? Do you see how there are always two sides to every story, that I was not simply some "bad guy" who got what I deserved? I gave you my side of the story. What you do with it is your choice.