Chapter Eleven

"Try again, this time be more careful," Kunzite told him softly, standing so close behind Zoisite that he was painfully aware of the older General's presence. Every word Kunzite spoke was drawing his thoughts away from what he was supposed to be concentrating on, especially since Kunzite had started to act toward him in the past weeks with a strange new intimacy, an almost gentle affection. This did not, however, decrease Kunzite's laser-like focus. He had immediately insisted on furthering Zoisite's training.

Jadeite had not been seen for weeks, although Zoisite did know that the first general only returned to the Dark Kingdom to report on his progress. The last Zoisite heard, he hadn't been doing too well, always trying to gather energy from large groups of people and being stopped by... someone. No one would say. There were whispered murmurings about the place of someone named Sailor Moon, a little pigtailed blonde brat who kept getting in his way, almost foiling his plans by accident, but Zoisite didn't know who that was. Was this some Moon Kingdom flunky that had been reawakened with the strict purpose of destroying them? Of compromising their plans?

Nephrite had been seen now and then, always staring at Zoisite with a scowl on his face, although he hadn't mentioned anything to Zoisite about the sudden change of his bedpartner. Nephrite knew who Zoisite loved. He always had. Now, though, despite the continuous infatuation he had with Kunzite, Zoisite was beginning to become frustrated with his business-as-usual attitude.

"But why, Kunzite-sama?" he had said, whining, when Kunzite suggested work over play. "If the others don't have to train any more, why should I?"

"You want to be on the same level as those blundering fools? Really, Zoisite, you surprise me."

And so, Zoisite had sighed and grudgingly given in to his demands. Truth be told, he was somewhat excited at Kunzite's total focus on him, flattered at Kunzite's sudden concern for his well-being.

What Zoisite hadn't prepared for was a lesson on levitation. His bottom was getting really sore, as was the rest of him, and he wasn't about to give up the strenuous nighttime activities they had taken up recently. Despite the aching in his limbs, he knew that if he complained that Kunzite would just tell him to do less... 'exercise'- elsewhere.

He stood up again, grimacing, and Kunzite chuckled at him. "Perhaps that will teach you not to lose focus every time. You need to concentrate."

Zoisite took a deep breath, closing his eyes and doing as Kunzite told him to. He cleared his mind, concentrating only on a mental image of himself rising from the floor, focusing all of his energy to the soles of his feet. He felt himself grow lighter, felt the pressure beneath his feet lessen, his entire body lift as if by an imaginary string, and tried desperately not to dwell on it. It had taken him an entire week to get that far, and another week to keep himself there for more than two seconds. If he started thinking about it, he would definitely fall. He knew this from experience.

"Concentrate..." he heard Kunzite say, and abruptly he felt himself drop, hitting the floor with a loud thud.

Kunzite knelt down beside him, his gaze solemn, and Zoisite crossed his arms, scowling and refusing to stand up and try again.

"That was... better." Kunzite said grimly, and Zoisite glared at him.

"How to you expect me to concentrate with you standing right behind me? Speaking to me, no less?" he complained.

Kunzite raised one eyebrow at him and Zoisite stood up, groaning. No peace for the wicked, he thought dryly.

"If you can't learn to ignore distraction now, what's going to stop you from falling on your ass in front of an enemy?"

Zoisite scowled again, but was heartened by the warmth in Kunzite's eyes. Determined not to disappoint, he shut his eyes tightly and concentrated again, this time blocking out any other presence's, including Kunzite's. A steady stream of his own energy, not the quick, visible attack blasts but rather a gentle push, levitated him off of the floor and into the air, where he released the power and stayed in the same place, rocking back slightly. He shut everything out of his mind, simply concentrating on the sound of his own breathing. When a rush of triumph passed over him pushed it down, careful not to let it distract him.

Zoisite!

A harsh, brassy female voice pierced through his mind and he fell to the floor in a heap, a sharp, searing pain shooting up his leg as his ankle hit the floor at an unnatural angle. He had gone up further than he realized. Sighing, he looked up, ready to be again chastised for his failure.

But Kunzite wasn't watching him, rather his gaze was locked to the floor as if hypnotized.

"Kunzite-sama?" Zoisite asked tentatively, and the General shook out of his reverie to stare at Zoisite. "What was that?"

"Queen Beryl. She is summoning us."

Zoisite scowled, annoyed. Not only had he injured himself, but he had been doing really well! He didn't even know if Kunzite had noticed it. "You'd think she could find a better way to do it," he grumbled as he followed Kunzite's teleport.

* * * *

They reappeared inside the throne room. It was the first time that Zoisite had seen Beryl since Jadeite's departure, and something had changed. It was colder somehow, more sinister, and...

Behind Beryl's throne was a huge ice sculpture of Jadeite. No....

Zoisite realized in a rush that it was Jadeite.

There was no mistaking that face... those cold, narrowed eyes were clenched shut with terror, that beautiful, sensuous mouth that even Zoisite could appreciate was wide open as though he had been caught in the middle of a wrenching scream. His hands were splayed out, tense, in front of him, and it seemed as though he was trying to break the ice with his bare hands, but was unable to move. He was alive, Zoisite could feel it, but unmoving and unable to break free.

He looked questioningly at Kunzite, who was staring at the horrible object with his eyes narrowed, his mouth hard. He spared a glance at Zoisite long enough to tell him that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Nephrite joined them rather suddenly, his gaze hard, focusing a hateful glare right at them. Kunzite ignored him, but Zoisite couldn't help but give the auburn haired general a sweet smile. Nephrite's scowl grew even more fierce.

Beryl's voice shocked him out of his musings. "It seems Jadeite has failed in his mission," she said curtly. "Metallia still requires more energy for her resurrection. Nephrite, step forward."

Zoisite's thoughts were rushing through his head, the foremost of these being annoyance at Nephrite's sudden favor in the Queen's eyes, and behind that a lingering anger at seeing Jadeite trapped in that... thing.

That's strange... I'm angry because of what happened to Jadeite. But... why do I care? He's never been anything but a bastard... hasn't he?

Nephrite cast a bemused glance toward Zoisite and stepped forward into the light of the chamber, bowing slightly. The Queen smiled at him, more of a bearing of teeth than anything even intentionally pleasant. Zoisitee could almost see Nephrite stiffen.

"Nephrite, I assign you with the task of gathering more energy. You had better make sure you are more successful than Jadeite, or you will suffer the same fate, and I assure you, I won't hesitate to do so." Again that horrifying smile.

Nephrite bowed again. "I thank you for your faith in me, my Queen."

Zoisite rolled his eyes, and Kunzite nudged him, flickering a warning glance in his direction. The Queen didn't notice this exchange, and if she did, she ignored it. Nephrite said a few more meaningless words to the Queen to assure her before he teleported out to begin his duty.

Zoisite couldn't concentrate. He was fidgeting restlessly, annoyed at having to stand in that horrible place, surrounded by youma... agitated by that horrifyingly gruesome image standing before him. No one should have to suffer through such agony, not even Jadeite. He wanted nothing more than to escape this cold, desolate place, to be held in Kunzite's arms... their forced separation and indifference was nearly killing him, especially now when he was feeling cold and completely afraid. If Beryl did that to Jadeite for his failure... what could she do to the rest of them?

"Zoisite, step forward."

He jumped, startled out of his musings as she spoke his name. His heart leapt in his chest before he forced himself to step forward. Kunzite watched him go with a frown, and Zoisite slowly knelt before her with a forced air of respect... even though he wanted to tear her heart out.

"I understand you have become quite close to General Kunzite in these past weeks."

Zoisite felt his face flush, but showed nothing in his eyes. He merely tilted his head and widened his eyes, trying desperately to look innocent. "I don't know what you mean, your Majesty."

The Queen chuckled, her gaze boring down on him. Her eyes were red, red as fire, and she seemed to be peeking into his very skull to find out if he was lying. "Don't be ridiculous, Zoisite. I know everything that occurs between my Generals, including your seemingly innocent tryst with Nephrite sometime ago."

Zoisite spared a quick glance in Kunzite's direction. He was watching the Queen with narrowed eyes, the rest of his face smooth and expressionless.

Zoisite quickly looked away. "Forgive me, I only meant-"

"Don't bother apologizing, Zoisite. You aren't sorry for it. And while I have no objection to the pursuit of lust in my Kingdom I would hope that these affairs don't distract my Generals from their task... or you from your own."

"Yes, your majesty," Zoisite murmured, trying to hide the agitation in his voice.

"If you manage to do something useful in our quest you might save yourself from my annoyance at your adolescent hormonal rompings."

Zoisite blanched, but forced his exterior to remain cool. If he did something stupid he knew he wouldn't live to regret it. He didn't meet the Queen's gaze, but he could feel her staring at him, the heat from her eyes was literally piercing into his skull. Zoisite promptly teleported away, then sighed with relief as Kunzite's chamber reappeared around him. He flopped gracefully backwards onto the bed.

"Ugh, I hate her! I hate her so much!" Zoisite hissed, turning onto his stomach and punching the bed pillows with a vengeance. Kunzite appeared seconds later, watching him with a detached expression.

"You shouldn't say that, Zoisite. You heard what she said..." Kunzite warned, and Zoisite glared at him.

"Why not? What's she going to do, kill me? Then she'd only have you and Nephrite, and Nephrite is obviously going to fail... then she'd only have you. All of her work will have been for nothing."

Kunzite raised his eyebrows, smiling gently. "Ah, is that how it works." Kunzite approached him from behind, wrapping his arms gently around his waist and pulling him closer to place a kiss on his cheek. Zoisite grinned, his anger fading for the moment, and turned in Kunzite's embrace as Kunzite caught his lips with his own. He felt those strong yet gentle fingers cup the back of his head and could no longer think, much less wish for the Queen to suddenly spontaneously combust or vanish in a whirlwind or some such natural disaster.

"Mn...Kunzite-sama, you know I can't stay angry when you do that," he murmured as Kunzite nuzzled the line of his jaw, gently suckling his neck at the juncture of his shoulder, causing him to shiver.

Kunzite chuckled, his breath a warm vibration on Zoisite's flesh. "That was the idea," he whispered. His voice, husky and deep, caused a dull heat to run down the length of Zoisite's spine and settle in his groin. He sighed and slid his arms around Kunzite's neck, leaning his head back and closing his eyes languidly.

But then Kunzite pulled away from him, straightening his uniform. "Zoisite, this is serious. Beryl may seem to be amused at our private lives, but she is really very deceitful. I could feel her anger at you... we'd better think of something fast before she decides that you're not worth it."

Zoisite stared at him, eyes wide. Could he be serious? He wondered as he watched Kunzite start to pace back and forth. How could he be so cold after that?

"Like what?"

Kunzite stopped to stare at him expressionlessly, and Zoisite fidgeted under the weight of that glare.

"Maybe if I helped find the crystal to free Metallia..." Zoisite murmured, suddenly remembering the dream. Metallia herself had said something about a silver crystal... if he found it Beryl would have no choice but to let them do whatever they wanted.

Kunzite was watching him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Zoisite said quickly, shaking his head for emphasis. "Just a dream I had, something about a Ginzuishou or something like that..."

"Zoisite!" Kunzite exclaimed, moving forward to grab his wrist. Zoisite stared at the white-haired General, eyes wide, unmoving. There was a sudden, barely controlled violence in his actions, an urgency that frightened him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kunzite hissed, looking around with wild eyes. Zoisite slowly looked down at his captured wrist, mouth slightly open in surprise.

"I didn't think it mattered..."

"Of course it matters, Zoisite! Who told you about this silver crystal?"

Zoisite finally forced himself to meet Kunzite's eyes, startled that Kunzite seemed to know something about it, seemed to have heard of it before.

He took a deep breath and set his jaw. "I had a dream about a raven haired woman... she said she was Metallia... or, she didn't exactly say it, but I'm sure she was. She told me to look for the Ginzuishou, that if I found it we could be together... and..." Zoisite looked away, blushing furiously.

Kunzite grabbed his shoulders and peered into his eyes, shaking him slightly. "What else, Zoisite, what else did she say?" There was almost... fear in Kunzite's silver eyes, a slight unease. They were wide and vulnerable and Zoisite had never seen him look like that before. It frightened him.

"She didn't say anything else." Zoisite didn't know why he wasn't telling Kunzite about Endymion... there was just something inside of him that told him not to.

Kunzite's mouth hardened, his eyes becoming grim, and after a slight hesitation brought Zoisite further into his arms to enclose him in a gentle embrace. Zoisite relaxed, suddenly thinking that perhaps he had made a mistake in telling Kunzite. Maybe Kunzite would take it upon himself to tell Beryl and she would give the job to Nephrite, or something disastrous like that. He couldn't afford to have this information fall into the wrong hands. But he trusted Kunzite. Loved him... despite how wrong love seemed to be in that place. He knew he had done the right thing. Kunzite might not love him in return, but he certainly wouldn't actually wish for him to meet the same fate as Jadeite, would he?

"I promise I will never let anything happen to you," Kunzite told him gruffly as if reading his thoughts, stroking his hair as he so loved to do. Zoisite closed his eyes and let himself believe it.

But then, Kunzite's arms released him. "Now, back to work."

Zoisite stared, open mouthed, as Kunzite detached himself from their embrace and stared down at him. No, not now, he wasn't going to make him train now!

"Well?" Kunzite asked impatiently. Zoisite groaned in annoyance, standing up and clenching his eyes shut and his fists in anger. He didn't want to do this, not now! He wanted to be held, to be comforted, but Kunzite had just brushed him off like nothing had happened! He was beginning to think that Kunzite didn't care about him at all, that he was a just a distraction, a way to forget the horrors of this place, just like Nephrite was to him. The thought made his face grow warm with anger, his fists clench even tighter, so that his nails were biting sharply into his palm.

When Zoisite wrenched his eyes open, he was two feet off the floor, and staying there.

He thought of Kunzite... nothing happened.

He thought of Nephrite, and how much he hated him... and he rose further.

Gaining courage, Zoisite flipped over onto his stomach, knees kicking carefree up in the air, and locked his gaze with Kunzite's. They were at eye level, and Zoisite furtively pressed a gentle kiss to Kunzite's lips, grabbing his loosened collar and pulling him forward.

Kunzite gave a little smile underneath his kiss, chuckling.

"Anger helps you to focus, Zoisite, just as it did before. This will become easier, as time goes by. Soon you won't even have to think about it."

Zoisite grinned, rolling over and sitting cross-legged in the air. He liked this feeling, lingering in midair without a worry and being able to move at will. It was almost like flying...

As the cherry blossom petals started to swirl around him, Kunzite raised his eyebrows.

"Where are you going?" he asked with mild concern.

Zoisite grinned. "I'm gonna go show off to Nephrite! Won't he get a kick out of this!"

* * * *
Zoisite followed Nephrite's presence through his teleport, not really sure of where he was going. The light of the chamber darkened considerably, and he thought perhaps he had been teleported to some part of the Dark Kingdom. As the room came into focus, he found himself standing on an inner balcony of a large, dark mansion of some sort. He glanced to the side, his eyes catching sight of a small window to his right.

Stars... a bright, cheerful moon. He was... home! He was back on Earth!

But somehow, it didn't feel right.

He then looked down and caught sight of Nephrite standing in the main hall of the house below him, his arms limp at his sides, his head down.

Zoisite grinned. "Hn. Been planning ahead, have we? How long have you had this little love nest, Neffy?"

Nephrite's head snapped up in surprise as he heard Zoisite's voice, and he scowled, his limp hands tightening into fists. "What do you want, Zoisite?" he growled, obviously annoyed at the interruption.

Zoisite teleported down to stand next to Nephrite, strolling carelessly around his stiff and angry form to look at him from all sides. There was definite power coming from him; in fact, Zoisite realized, he must have interrupted Nephrite in the middle of a difficult and rather taxing spell. He smiled at the thought.

"I was just... curious as to what you were planning to do to gain energy. Considering what Beryl did to Jadeite, I'd say his methods were... unsuccessful. I wouldn't want to see the same thing happen to you, dear Nephrite."

Nephrite snorted in laughter and one corner of his mouth curled in contempt. "Of course. You'd like to do away with me yourself, you little imp."

Zoisite raised his eyebrows politely at the insult, moving closer to Nephrite to brush his fingers over the back of his neck ever so slightly. Nephrite tensed at the sensation, only moving enough to bat Zoisite's hand away from his skin. His sapphire blue eyes were unquestionably venomous, narrowed so much they were mere slits. His slightly annoyed smirk contorted to an enraged scowl.

"Don't touch me, Zoisite," he warned, his voice a mere feral growl. Zoisite favored him with his sweetest smile, moving away slightly to look at the mansion around them. It was dark... just like the Dark Kingdom. Zoisite had half-hoped that he would be able to see Earth as it was... but this place was just an extension of where he had just been, an infection on the complete and total rightness of Earth. A disease, spreading the darkness everywhere and turning it all black.

Zoisite chuckled to himself, moving one finger along the banister, his eyes widening as it came away caked with dust. "Not much for housekeeping, are you, Nephrite?" he mused, turning back to the auburn-haired General. Nephrite was still staring at him with that same rage in his eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching as though they ached to be wrapped around his throat, squeezing the life out of his small form. Zoisite knew that he should probably be cautious, but Nephrite seemed nothing more than an insect to him now, something easily squashed under his boot. And... he had never been a very cautious person....

"What do you want?" Nephrite asked again tightly, trying to refrain from lunging at the pretty, annoyingly humorous imp before him. Zoisite shrugged, his eyes lighting up with mischief.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing, Neffy. In fact, you might not be doing much of anything in a couple of days. It seems that I have a better way to gather energy, one given to me by Metallia herself." He examined his nails in sudden interest.

Nephrite scowled, his brows furrowing in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh... nothing. It's just that my way is... well... a lot more of use than the energy we could get from people... and Beryl will probably entrust me to search for it, seeing as how I'm the only one who knows about it... and frankly, you might be out of a job soon. Just a word of caution, Nephrite. Wouldn't want to see you become a living icicle, now would-"

Zoisite broke off in surprise as Nephrite lunged at him, his hands scrabbling for Zoisite's throat. Zoisite calmed himself quickly, forcing himself to concentrate, and in seconds he was floating above Nephrite's head, lounging rather comfortably in the air, his legs and arms crossed. He twirled the end of his ponytail around one finger and giggled from the pure satisfaction of actually having pulled it off, causing Nephrite to wince through his amazement.

"H-how-"

"Oh, Nephrite, you'd be amazed at how much someone is willing to teach you when you're, well... favored by them." He laughed again, and Nephrite's face grew bright red in anger, which made him laugh even harder. He had never known how much fun it was to torture Nephrite like this! Something he should remember in the future....

"Come down from there so I can rip your throat out!" Nephrite growled, trying desperately to reach him as he bobbed just out of the reach of his hands.

"Oh, yes, that's sure to do the trick. Haven't you learned yet that threats get you nowhere?"

Nephrite scowled and watched him in anger a moment longer before turning his back on Zoisite. He could see that this was quickly losing humor value, and in a moment Kunzite might start to worry about him.

"I'll leave you to your... um... work," Zoisite said sweetly as he started to teleport, but just before he did, he saw Nephrite's head turn ever so slightly to smile at him wickedly over his own shoulder.

"He doesn't love you, Zoisite." The taunting, almost gently gruff voice followed him as he disappeared, "He doesn't know how..."

* * * *

Zoisite reappeared within Kunzite's chambers, Nephrite's last words still ringing in his head.

He doesn't love you, Zoisite. He doesn't know how.

Somehow, even though Zoisite had always known that Kunzite didn't love him, it hurt to hear someone else say it.

Kunzite was, at that moment, watching him from his lounging position on one of the chairs, his eyes heavy lidded, two fingers resting gently on one of his temples. He gave Zoisite a small, amused smirk when he had fully appeared.

"I was beginning to think that Nephrite finally did away with you," he murmured with no change of expression.

"Worried, were you?"

"Of course."

Zoisite felt his heart leap in his chest, but he controlled himself. That didn't mean anything... just because Kunzite was content to keep Zoisite alive didn't mean anything... Damn Nephrite! Now this doubt was at the front of his mind, and it wasn't going to go away any time soon. He had been able to handle Kunzite's lack of love in the past week, thinking that there was always a chance... always a slight possibility that Kunzite had fallen in love with him but was hiding it for his own good... but hearing the words voiced aloud gave it finality. Someone else had his same doubts, someone he hated knew exactly what had been bothering him for so long... his worst enemy new his greatest weakness.

"Well, don't worry, Kunzite-sama," he said with a dismissive smile. "I know how to take care of myself, and Nephrite is hardly a worthy adversary."

"Is that so?" Kunzite's eyes drifted down to his still-wounded shoulder, his smirk softening slightly. Zoisite felt himself follow the gaze. Despite the fact that he kept the wound covered and relatively sterile, it was still excruciatingly painful, and a horrible, ghastly, green-verging-on-purple color. Kunzite hadn't seen it since the first time because of his bandages, he had made sure of it, and he wondered how Kunzite knew that it hadn't healed. "Let me see it, Zoisite." Kunzite said gently, unexpectedly, standing up to face him. Zoisite met Kunzite's eyes shyly, not moving an inch. "What, you have some odd fetish with old scars, Kunzite-sama?" he teased. Kunzite moved gradually closer, and when he was inches away from Zoisite he lifted the smaller man's chin up to look down at him with narrowed eyes. Zoisite's heart was beating fast, his breath quickening... It didn't matter how many times he and Kunzite were together; every time Kunzite touched him he felt like a blushing virgin. "Let me see it." He said again, more gently this time. Zoisite moved reluctantly away and slowly removed the top of his uniform, stifling a wince as he had to lift his arms up. He had done a fairly good job in the past week of hiding his pain from Kunzite, sometimes so much that he would cry into the pillow. Part of it was the fact that Nephrite had inflicted the wound, and part of it was that he actually felt he needed the pain, as some sort of punishment... for all that he had done...

It was stupid, foolish... but on a deeper level it was almost healing to his soul, what little he had left.

He started to remove the bandages around his shoulder, trying to do it as slowly as possible, hoping that somehow Kunzite would lose interest, or that the wound would be miraculously healed. He didn't want his white-haired lover to know...

He could sense Kunzite stiffening as he pulled the last bandages away, a grimace marring his own face despite himself. It was horrifying, gruesome... even worse than before. Not only was it turning slightly more purple, it was also spreading down his arm like an infection. The scar tissue covering it was shiny with liquid, barely covering the opening, and the bandages were covered in blood as well as his arm.

"I don't know why it hasn't healed yet..." Zoisite started to say, but was silenced as Kunzite came towards him again, stopping mere inches away. His cool fingers reached out tentatively to touch the wound, and Zoisite gasped as the pain shot through him.

"I'm sorry..." Kunzite murmured distractedly. Zoisite gathered up enough courage to look into the white-haired general's eyes, still heavy lidded and unreadable. His eyes were fixed on the wound... and Zoisite fancied that he saw compassion in those unfathomable silver eyes. Probably his imagination...

Again Kunzite touched the wound, but more gently this time, barely resting his fingers on the surface. Zoisite turned his head away. The sight was sickening... he couldn't imagine why Kunzite wanted to see it so much, much less touch something so vulgar-

Zoisite gasped suddenly as a steady heat spread though his arm, like liquid molten, starting at the contact of Kunzite fingers and slowly working throughout his veins. His face flushed with the sensation, his breathing quickened, and all the while Kunzite watched him with an almost detached fascination. The feeling was almost... sensual. It spread to his very toes and made his every limb tingle deliciously.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he managed to gasp out, still refusing to look at his shoulder. He was slightly disappointed as Kunzite moved his hand away, his brows furrowing in confusion as he moved slightly away from him. Zoisite couldn't stand the suspense any more. Setting his jaw, he glanced over at his shoulder...

It was smooth and flawless as it had ever been. The wound was healed.

"Kunzite-sama!" he exclaimed, reaching up to touch his shoulder to make sure it was real. This was too much... how had Kunzite done it?

"How-"

"I don't know." Kunzite looked almost confused as he reached out to touch the smooth shoulder again, his eyes slightly hooded. Zoisite stared at him in wonder as he moved away, sitting back down with that same slight frown on his face.

"But... that is... Kunzite-sama this is amazing! How did you heal it? Was it your energy..."

Kunzite stopped him with an upturned hand, closing his eyes in an exquisite gesture and bowing his head a little. Zoisite stared at him wordlessly. There was something that had been nagging at his lover intermittently for the past week, ever since Jadeite had first been sent away... some odd desolate feeling that broke through the usual coldness of his eyes now and then. He had wanted to ask Kunzite what was wrong... in fact, he had several times, but every time Kunzite would shake his head and change the subject, telling him to concentrate, or to go to sleep, or sometimes would just cover his mouth in a sudden, hungry kiss so that he was unable to say more. It bothered him more than he could admit, because despite the fact that Kunzite was not normally an open, easy person, this new sorrow radiated off of Kunzite and into him, so that he felt the piercing sadness as if it was his own. In a way, it was. He loved Kunzite, and although he couldn't admit it to the older general, he had already admitted it to himself long ago.

Zoisite moved forward slowly, almost afraid that if he moved any faster Kunzite would vanish and leave him, treating him with the same disdain that he had in the past. That was worse than wondering, day by day, if Kunzite could ever love him. Not having those strong arms around him to lull him to sleep would be a nightmare in itself.

"K-Kunzite-sama?" he whispered, his words stuttering as they caught in his throat. He felt tears spring into his eyes, fought desperately to stop them. Kunzite opened his eyes and locked them onto Zoisite's for what seemed like an eternity, those hooded silver orbs never once showing anything but emptiness. Zoisite's fists clenched beside him, anger washing through him like the tide. Why did Kunzite constantly have to shut him out, to treat him as though he were nothing more than a child? Didn't he mean more to Kunzite than a mere distraction, a way to pass the time while waiting for the Moon Princess to emerge from her sleep?

Zoisite moved closer to Kunzite, forcing his own expression to remain cold, unfeeling. He stood in front of him for a few moments, just looking down at the him.

He felt the entire room stiffen around him, the walls blur, and that same, loud rushing noise filled his ears as it had in the past. His stomach clenched, and before he knew what he was doing his palm met Kunzite's cheek in a hard slap.

Kunzite's head snapped to the side, and he turned it back slowly, giving Zoisite the satisfaction of seeing his eyes widen. For a moment he merely stared at Zoisite, and then his eyes narrowed in anger.

"How dare you!" he hissed, standing up so suddenly that Zoisite fell backwards onto the floor, holding himself up with both hands, his face flushing red, his heart beating furiously with fear. Why had he done it? He had just struck the only person he had ever loved, the only person that mattered to him! Oh, now he was going to get it...

He glanced up timidly at Kunzite as he stood towering over him, staring at him, his right hand poised as though he was about to blast Zoisite to oblivion. But... he had stopped. Slowly, he lowered his arm.

"Zoisite, get up," he said, his voice discernibly softer. Zoisite merely stared at him, gulping as his frenzied breathing slowed, unable to meet Kunzite's eyes. He did as Kunzite told him, his green eyes darting around the room, settling everywhere but on Kunzite's eyes as he sought to calm the frantic beating of his heart. He shut his eyes tightly, rebellious tears squeezing out from his eyelids and streaming down his face even as he desperately tried to stop them.

Now I've lost him forever. I deserve whatever punishment I get. Damn you, Metallia... and damn me for my godawful impulsiveness.

But, as Zoisite tensed to await the blow that was sure to come, he felt Kunzite's cool fingers brushing against the back of his neck and then settling there gently, Kunzite's lips against his own mouth. He sobbed, widening his mouth to let Kunzite in and shivering slightly at the sensation.

"What will I do with you, pretty one?" Kunzite murmured hotly against his lips, and Zoisite got the impression that Kunzite was speaking to himself more than him.

Zoisite opened his eyes. "Kill me and put me out of my misery, Kunzite-sama?" he joked half-heartedly. He was surprised that Kunzite's eyes flashed with amusement, his mouth curving every so slightly in an almost imperceptible smile.

"No, I don't think so," Kunzite said softly, brushing two fingers across the line of Zoisite's jaw with infinite gentleness, then across the line of his upper lip. Zoisite closed his eyes, leaning into Kunzite's touch in an almost catlike fashion.

<< Of course he won't kill you, Zoisite. He desires you. He longs to touch you every time he looks into your eyes... but his feelings don't go beyond that. He never has, and never will, feel anything for you but desire. And when you are gone, he will not even shed a tear.>>

Go away!

<< I'm a part of you, Zoisite. You know that... can't you feel it? His lips are soft, yes, his eyes showing the barest sign of passion, but is there anything else in that expression? Does he have any reason to actually like you as a person, Zoisite? No one else ever has.>>

Leave me alone! Why do you torment me this way?

<< I want... to help you. I want to protect you from those who will hurt you, and I assure you, he will hurt you. Eventually.>>

Zoisite pulled out of Kunzite's iron hard embrace, turning his face away from the white-haired general, eyes downcast to hide the tears in his eyes. Kunzite watched him as he stepped back, catching himself on the doorframe with one hand. He leaned against it as though exhausted, his face still turned to the side.

"Zoisite?" Kunzite asked. Yes, Zoisite could almost hear the raw desire in that low, husky voice. It made him shiver with desire himself, but there was nothing even remotely similar to gentleness or love in those eyes. No concern for his obvious sadness, just confusion. Kunzite was probably annoyed with him for frustrating him like that, pulling away right in the middle of a rather heated kiss, denying him in the midst of his heady desire. Zoisite turned away completely, pink petals beginning to spiral around him as he began to teleport.

"Where are you going, Zoisite?"

"For a walk..." Zoisite murmured.

The room dimmed around him, as did Kunzite, and the last expression he saw flit across Kunzite's face was something akin to anger.

Of course he's angry with me... he doesn't care about me enough to like me when I'm not naked and willing...

* * * *

Zoisite brushed tears angrily away and looked around, having finally reached his destination. He was in the throne room, now abandoned as everyone was most likely sleeping. He stared at the empty throne in wonder, astonished that the Queen slept at all. He had thought her some immortal, magical being, like Metallia. The crystal ball, it's swirling contents moving more slowly than before, was alone and unprotected.

Unconsciously, his eyes slid towards Jadeite.

It was still an uncanny shock to see him; an almost eerie, surreal image. Zoisite crept closer, his eyes narrowing to see Jadeite's frozen features more clearly from behind what seemed like a huge encasement of ice. His eyes were clenched severely shut... Zoisite knew that look. He had given it a thousand times himself. When his father beat him with his belt, when Nephrite stabbed him... it was a look of extreme pain. Pain... and terror. Jadeite had been terrified in his last moments, unsure of what was to become of him, unsure of how much pain he would have to endure before it ended blissfully. His hands were almost tense in their pressed position, as though he were still struggling under that stifling encasement. Zoisite closed his eyes slowly, an in gentle gesture placed one trembling hand on the surface of that ice.

It wasn't cold... not ice, but crystal. Something akin to quartz, perhaps that, even. He pressed harder, willing himself to feel anything, any sign of life from that stiff form.

He felt nothing.

Somehow, that was worse than feeling something. Worse than feeling a twinge of pain, a cry of agony, a sob of sadness. There was nothing. No sign as there had been before that he was alive; or dead, or sleeping, or... if he was awake, and could feel and hear everything that went on around him. There was no way to know what he was going through. What horrors were running through his mind.

It occurred to him that Jadeite might be having the same nightmares and hearing the same cruel whispers that had drove him to the brink of madness weeks before.

That thought of that was more horrifying to him than any pain Jadeite might feel.

Zoisite pulled his hand away, a single tear escaping his closed eyelids to slide down his cheek, like a gentle caress. He moved away from Jadeite, his eyes still fixed on that ghastly image as he walked backwards, retreating from the abominable images that threatened to take him over.

Inexplicably, as he walked towards the exit, his eyes fell upon the crystal once again. It seemed to beckon to him, to call out to him through it's surface, to pull him with an unexplainable force. He moved forward, entranced by the play of light and shadow encased in the smooth crystal surface. It formed pictures, words, emotions in his mind, calling his name again and again.

<>

<>

"Metallia," he whispered to the echoing darkness surrounding him. He remembered the dream... the serene quality of the lake, the beauty of the woman as she threw the stones carelessly into the water.

Just like Jadeite, thrown carelessly aside as though his life meant nothing...

No! That won't happen to me!

<>

Yes...

<>

Zoisite was now standing mere inches away from the crystal, his eyes fixed on the dancing spirals within. He reached out hesitantly with two fingers, doubts racing through his head, his instincts screaming at him to turn away, to forget that he even saw it, to ignore the goading voice in his head. He closed his eyes, about to turn away.

<>

Zoisite set his jaw, took a deep breath... and thrust his palm onto the surface of the crystal.

Almost instantly, that same warm jolt, like burning electricity traveled up his arm and into his spine, down to his toes. His thoughts were jumbled... the lake, Nephrite's assault, Kunzite's coldness, his mother's disdain, Beryl's constant cruelty, Jadeite's punishment... all in a rush of thought that overwhelmed him and sent him reeling backwards, falling to the floor in a heap.

Yes... I will make Kunzite love me, I will kill Nephrite, I will find the Ginzuishou... I know now that I can do it all. Metallia is inside of me, permeating me, making me a thousand times more powerful...

When Zoisite finally opened his eyes, he was lying on the cold floor of the throne room, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. He stood up.

He walked over to Jadeite, tilting his head ever so slightly and narrowing his eyes in contemplation.

Suddenly, a high pitched giggle broke through the intense, hungry silence, causing the very walls to shrink away.

Zoisite was laughing.

He was free.