Yaten's Love Song: Part I of II

Jennifer Wand <eponine@ccs.neu.edu>

NOTES to know before reading this:

Shinsei means "new star" in Japanese.

Gender pronouns don't mean much when relating to the Starlights, but "it"
sounds bad.  So just pretend they're neutral.  I used male pronouns almost
exclusively, even in Starlight form, for reasons discussed in the 'fic.

My apologies for the lack of accents on french words.

Ganbare means "do your best" or "try hard."

Moshi-moshi means "Hello?" like you say when you answer the telephone or
are trying to get someone's attention.

Itabashi Saki is the photographer in episode 185.

"Ara" is a mild exclamation of surprise.
"Ikenai" means "bad" or "wrong," literally "don't go."
"Doshite" (also spelled dooshite/doushite sometimes) means "Why" or "How".
"Omae-tachi" is a very informal way of saying "You guys..."
"Ano" = "um.."
"Gomen Nasai" = "I'm sorry" (kind of formal)

That's all the cultural notes for now.  I didn't want to interrupt the
narrative for them.  There will be a quiz afterwards.. jes' kidding! 
Enjoy...

**

        Many's the time when I've stood out here, staring, fixated, at the
stars.  Brilliant holes in the darkness, as if needles had studded the deep
blue cloth in an attempt to sew up forever the mysteries of the universe.
That project failed, as all projects of that sort do.  And instead of
wrapping us in a tight sheath and sealing us in ignorance, it's exposed us
to the glittering lights of knowledge not yet gained.
        Knowledge is funny that way.  It appears despite all efforts to
conceal it.  When you don't know about something, you never imagine it
might exist.  And when you finally find out-- well, then you don't know how
your world could have ever existed without it.

        It's been a while since we arrived at our new home.  That's all I
can say, for months and years are meaningless far from Earth.  But I still
seem to sleep and wake up as though I were on that planet.

        A lot of things have changed for us since we've been there.  Most
importantly, the Princess has found a new way to rule.  Her strict smiles
that lit our way then have been transformed into gestures of more warmth,
letting the people see what we have known about her for quite some time. 
No longer the completely dedicated, perfect, untouchable ruler she was, she
now appears to the people as flawed, but gentle, and accepting of others'
flaws-- of the little bit of Chaos in our hearts, she says with a secretive
smile.  The people love her as they loved her then, but more genuinely,
more freely, and we three have grown in our love for her too.  She has
truly become great.

        Guided by her hand, our meager band has turned the bare rock of
Shinsei into a thriving colony. There were only a handful of survivors at
the start.  But every so often a familiar face will wander over the hills,
confused as to where they'd been, but happy to be reunited with us.  And
there will be a small spark of gold in the sky, and we'll look upwards
gratefully.

        As for us personally, we are living in an orbiting palace, Star
Castle.  Shinsei is a small planet, and the idea of a satellite was
Taiki's, "to maintain a constant and even vigil over the colony," so he
said.  I really have to give him credit for that-- it was a wonderful idea. 
Wonderful ideas are his business now.

        Seiya's business is somewhat different.  He is the Princess's
consort now, and they do seem very happily in love.  But there's a
blonde-haired angel hiding behind his dreams sometimes-- not that I blame
him for that.  She remains, fluttering, in all our hearts.  The symbol of
all we've learned from our time on that world.  All we've taken back with
us.

        But still I stand, staring out into the infinity we've traveled.
And I ponder love, and the curious differences between man and woman.  I
never knew there was such a thing as gender, and now that I do, I can't get
my mind off it.

        Logically, it's a rather primitive concept, especially for a
society that knows love.  Why should the choice of partners be limited? I
think back to that enigmatic pair, Haruka and Michiru.  They are both of
the type "Woman," but so in love nonetheless. I feel sorry for them--
Michiru shall never know the joy of carrying her true love's child, or vice
versa.  Just because they don't have the correct match of parts.  It seems
cruel to restrict it that way-- why shouldn't one know the full joy of
their beloved, whoever they may be?  Here, of course, we have no genders,
although some people act "masculine" or "feminine" as it is called on
Earth.  Everyone is capable of both impregnating and being pregnant.  And
everyone is therefore equal.

        But still-- I was a "guy" on Earth.  And, I suppose, now that I
think about it, I feel like a "guy" too. And I wonder-- what would it be
like?


        And when all is still, and no stars move but prick me in the eyes
with their pinpoint stares, I even wish.  Wish-- I wish I could return-- I
wish I could become a male for real.  If I was a male for real, maybe...
        (And the stars stare me down, daring me to continue...)
        ...if I was a male for real, maybe she...

**

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars:
        Yaten's Love Song

a fanfic by Jennifer A. Wand

Part I

**

Present, Juuban

        "Todaaay......" Minako announced to the entire Juuban Heights
apartment complex, "...is Mako-chan's first ballet lesson!"

        "Would you keep it down!?" shushed Makoto, ushering her
overenthusiastic friend inside.  "It's a Sunday and most normal people
sleep in, you know."

        "Yadda, yadda, yadda," sang the blonde, as she milled about
Makoto's apartment.  Her hair was up in a huge bun, and she was wearing a
leotard with shorts over it, carrying an athletic bag in one hand and a
boom box in the other.  "All I know is-- is there an outlet anywhere in
this room?-- Mako-chan's offered to give me cooking lessons if I give her--
put this on, hon-- dancing lessons.  So here I am-- aren't you ready yet?"

        Makoto looked down at herself.  It was not easy finding a leotard
for a girl who usually shopped at Big 'n' Tall.  "I feel like a Jell-O
mold," she said deadpan.

        "Well, you look great." The unstoppable Minako gave her a wink and
a thumbs-up.  "So let's go!"  She punctuated her remark by slamming the
"play" button on the boom-box, and some danceable (if less than classical)
music started.  "Now you stand in front of me, and hold the table like a
barre, okay?  The first move is a plie, you go down and bend your knees
like this. We'll do four, and then four releves... that's going up on your
toes, see? Got it?" In English, she called out, "One! Two! Three!"

        About fifteen minutes into the exercise, Makoto was feeling
slightly ill.  Minako had lost herself in Jane Fonda land, working out with
a huge grin, tightly shut eyes, and no grip on reality.  She hadn't
bothered to explain the last few exercises, and Makoto had no idea whether
she was doing them right.  She did, however, know that she had a cramp and
wanted to stop, but Minako was busy shouting "Kick!  and Kick!  Come ON!"
in an odd mixture of Japanese and English, and had tuned her student out.

        Makoto inched closer to her friend, trying to avoid the erratic
movements of her left leg, which periodically shot out in one direction or
the other.  "Um, Minako-chan..." she said softly, amidst beats from the
boom box and KICK!s from Minako, "I'm doing my best, but..."

        "KICK!  Ganbare!"

        Moving around the other side of the table now, Makoto leaned in
toward the other girl.  "Erm... yo... Minako-chan... could we stop for a
minute maybe..."
       
       "KICK!"

        "Mina...  moshi-moshi..."

        "*KICK!*"

        Makoto leaned in closer and sucked in a sharp breath. She was
barely inches from Minako's enthusiastic profile.  Tight-lipped smile,
barking orders, tense scowl over eyes shut in fierce concentration... but
this close, Makoto could see gritted teeth between shouts, wetness at the
corner of the eyes, locked shoulders... with another gasp, Makoto realized
that Minako was fighting desperately to keep from crying.

        She walked back around the table and placed both hands on her
friend's shoulders firmly.  She took a deep breath, paused for a moment...
and shook Minako as hard as she could.  "GET A GRIP WHY DON'T YOU
MINAKO-CHAN!!!!"

        Several minutes and a plate of freshly baked cookies later, Minako
took another sip of water and looked up apologetically at her friend.
"Gomen nasai, Mako-chan."

        "It's okay," Makoto smiled, sitting down with her own glass of
water. "But-- what's going on, Minako-chan?"

        Minako turned away.  "Nothing..."

        "You're a terrible liar."  The blonde turned back, surprised, to
see Makoto winking at her, mouth closed around a straw.  One long gulp
later, she grinned.  "I could see your eyes.  Now what is it, or wh..."

        "...stop..."

        The voice was weak, but Makoto stopped mid-tease with a look of
sudden surprise and concern.  Minako hadn't turned away quite as far, and
this time the tears in her eyes were glisteningly obvious.  She stared
wistfully, aqua gaze fixed somewhere far beyond the clock on Makoto's wall. 
And the small voice came again, a little stronger, but still soft,
pleading.  "Just...stop it, please."

        Makoto exhaled.  She hadn't even realized she'd been holding in the
breath.  The shimmering tears were balanced so precariously just inside
Minako's eyelids, and it seemed that if they fell, the girl would
crumble...  Now was not the time.  Not yet.

        "Okay.  But don't forget, I'm your friend..."

**

Star Castle

        Taiki slapped Yaten on the back of the head.

        "Yow!" The silver-haired sentinel turned from the huge paneled
window and laughed at the taller figure, who was already halfway down the
hall. "And hello to you too!" he shouted.

        Taiki turned back briefly, waving at his friend.  "Cheer up," he
said, smiling.

        "I'm cheery, I'm cheery," pouted Yaten, insulted.  At Taiki's half
smile, he scowled and made a face.

        "Really."  Taiki walked back toward the shorter Starlight, the
teasing grin still on his face, eyes shifting halfway between Yaten's face
and the starry panorama.

        Yaten bristled.  "What, don't you believe me?  Watch it, or I'm
going to wipe that smile right off your smug little face."

        Now standing right next to him, Taiki looked down. WAY down.  "MY
little face."

        "Enough with the height gags," Yaten grumbled.  "It's tired."  He
placed his palms on the glass again and continued to stare out at the void.

        Taiki gave a self-deprecating smile to Yaten's back, then moved up
alongside him.  "Something going on out there?"  he asked.

        "Nothing unusual," answered Yaten.  "All the stars feel okay."

        "Then what's with--" Halfway through his sentence, Taiki
reconsidered. "Well, if you sense anything strange, let me know.  In the
meantime, you're on duty, partner."

        Yaten gave an exasperated sign.  "What, already?"

        "'Fraid so."  Taiki gave a mock sympathetic sigh.  "It's a tough
life, though, isn't it?"

        "Like you'd know."  Yaten looked daggers at the red-haired Senshi.
"Mister Cerebral."

        "Better a geek than an empath any day."

        "Hear, here."  Yaten sang out immediately, then blushed at his
readiness to agree.  A feeling of dread crept along his shoulders as he
realized that Taiki was staring at him, a suddenly serious expression on
his face.  All at once, Yaten desperately wished he was a turtle.

        "Sensing all the stars... having to feel everything that everyone
around you feels..."  He paused, and Yaten cringed farther.  He was used to
Taiki's constant scientific inquiries, but that didn't make them any more
pleasant.  How many times could you possibly try and explain empathy to a
non-empath?  Yaten steeled himself for the inevitable questions.

        "How do you do it?"

        He blinked.  That's not how it went...

        Taiki was in earnest.  "I can't figure out how you manage it.  When
we were on Earth, both Seiya and I were on the verge of falling apart from
our own pain.  But you were feeling both our pain and the pain of all the
dying stars.  I can't even begin to imagine.  How can you possibly handle
that much emotion without falling apart?"

        Yaten stammered and fell silent.  Nobody had ever asked him that
question before... not so directly.  How do you describe what it's like to
feel galaxies, to hurt with strangers, to have to cut off the most basic of
responses simply to survive?  The question was so intrusive, he felt
violated somehow.  "You... I wouldn't even bother explaining it to you," he
lashed out, rather more nastily than jokingly.  "You with your head up in
the clouds."

        Deadpan, Taiki said, "We're orbiting in outer space.  There are no
clouds."

        "See!?!?" blurted an exasperated Yaten. "That's just what I mean!"
Giving a snort, he turned away.  Taiki broke into his trademark giggle,
leaning against the window, his shoulders flapping as a high-pitched
cadenza of laughter swelled and faded.  Finally, straightening up, he wiped
the tears from his eyes.  "What's so funny?" Yaten finally demanded.

        "You," answered Taiki as he walked down the hall, still grinning
and chuckling uncontrollably.  "You're so obvious, it's horrible.  Hee hee
hee!"  He opened a door and just before turning the corner, looked back at
the frazzled blond.  "Tough, isn't it, having your own feelings to deal
with too? Yeesh, the only thing worse than a cranky empath is an empath
who's thinking about someone with looong eyelashes..."  He disappeared just
soon enough to escape a ball of blue lightning, which left a huge scorch
mark on the door.

**

Seven Earth months ago, Juuban

        The Three Lights photo shoot was long past over, even though
Itabashi Saki had kept them all late.  The last of the straggling crew
members had finally left, and two of the Lights had headed for home, as had
Saki and the others.  So it was with a great deal of surprise that Yaten
discovered the girl sitting in the alleyway, tinted green with the faint
glow of the coffee machine.  "Ara... Aino-san!" he stuttered.

        She looked up, looking more sleepy than surprised.  "'Minako' is
okay," she smiled.

        "Are you nuts?  Hanging out in an alley like this, late at night."

        "Awww, I didn't know you cared."  She batted her eyelashes at him
flirtatiously, and Yaten rolled his eyes, exhaling loudly.

        "I just thought you'd gone home already," he said, walking around
her. He shoved a few coins into the coffee machine.

        "Nope," she answered, looking down again.  "Just thinking about all
the stuff I saw today.  The photo shoot and everything--"  She rested her
chin on her crossed arms, leaning forward onto her knees.  "I'd really like
to do that, you know.  If I could."

        Yaten felt something peculiar-- a twinge of pain from the girl
beside him, a strange, lingering wish.  Somehow losing control of his
instinct to cut her off, he found himself curious, wanting to press her for
more.  Maybe it was fatigue from the long, long evening.  Taking a sip of
the hot liquid and flinching at its taste, he pressed his back against the
machine and slid down to a sitting position next to her.  "Eh? What are you
talking about?"

        "Nothing," she said quietly, and Yaten felt her closing like a
flower at night.  It made him feel sad... not just her sadness, though, but
some melancholy of his own at losing this contact with her.

        He backed off.  "Whatever," he yawned.  "I'm glad *some*one thinks
we're doing well..."

        With the sudden movement of a striking snake, Minako snatched the
coffee cup from his extended hand.  He blinked as she scolded him.  "What
do you MEAN!?  You guys are amazing, don't you know that!?"  The
reprimanding spark in her voice caught Yaten's attention, even if the words
were no more than any fan said in all those frustrating letters.  In any
case, at least her mind was opening again, even if it was burning red with
outrage.

        This was fun, trying to figure out what was behind her mood shifts,
and Yaten felt eager to continue the game.  He snatched back the coffee
cup, giving her a daring look.

        "Don't you know how much everyone adores you guys?!"  she continued
to rant.  Her voice built up toward a fever pitch.  "It's totally what I
want to be, you know, to have everyone love me-- What have you guys got to
complain about?  YOU'RE not the little nobody who's stuck in nowheresville. 
 You're famous! I'd give anything to be doing EXACTLY what you're doing,
every last bit of it...  I'd give anything to BE you!"

        "..IKENAI!!"

        Coffee splashed to the ground, spreading a slow, dark stain against
the pavement, eerily thick in the green light.  Two frozen figures in an
alleyway gaped with mirroring expressions... both shocked at the intensity
of Yaten's outburst.  Minako was stunned, Yaten horrified, at the sudden
burst of emotion and energy that seemed to rise up out of nowhere to combat
those too-enthusiastic words.  Yaten had no idea that he'd been pushed that
far, that he even had the power to shout so loudly.  He clutched at his own
throat, blinking several times, as Minako barely blinked at all.

        "...Do... Doshite?" finally escaped from Minako's mouth, sounding
weak and frightened.

        His heart pounding erratically, Yaten hastily stood up and turned
to go.  "You don't want this," he said as coldly as he could.  "Trust me.
Minako."  At the sound of her name from his lips, he shivered.

        He walked away, trying to control the insane leaping inside his
chest. Minako's voice echoed past him, but this time it felt different,
felt artificial somehow.  "Oh yeah?" she hollered.  "Well, you just watch
me! I'm gonna be the biggest star there is!  Number One in the Nation, Aino
Minako, volleyball champion, idol singer, and..."  The list of statistics
faded into the background and Yaten ran off through the darkness of the
city streets.

**

Present Day, Star Castle

        "If we were on Earth..." drawled Yaten, after taking a long swig
from his glass.


        Taiki and Seiya half-groaned, half-nodded, raising their glasses to
toast that assertion.  They'd been talking and drinking for a little while,
and Yaten's quarters were littered with empty flasks and canisters of food.
The brown wall panels looked that much fuzzier after the alcohol, and while
none of the three were dangerously intoxicated, they were all a little
sillier than usual.  And when the Starlights relaxed and got silly, their
conversation inevitably turned in one direction.

        "On Earth," Seiya echoed.  "Damn.  Do you guys remember showing up
at school that morning?"  A ring of grunting yeses resounded.  Seiya was
sprawled on a long couch, grinning wickedly and turning sharp, amused eyes
at the others.  Taiki sat straight up in a chair, but kept breaking into
giggles every other second, and Yaten was curled up tensely, sitting on his
bed. "Tsukimi dumplings.  Yum."  Seiya licked his lips.

        "I'm telling on you, Seiya."  Yaten threw a pillow in his
direction.

        Taiki giggled.  "Attack of the fan club cards."  Then, in a squeaky
voice:  "Ano, ne..."

        "Yoo hoo!" Yaten shouted, waving hysterically. "Yaten-kuuun! Sit
right heeeere!"

        "Oh, stars..."  Seiya doubled over laughing.  "Minako-chan was so
unbelievable."

        "Out of control," agreed Taiki between "tee hee"s.

        "Okay."  Yaten slammed his hand on the headboard of his bed to get
his friends' attention.  "Stupidest thing we ever did as idols."

        "You want that in alphabetical or chronological order?"  Taiki
grinned.

        "Idol cops!" volunteered Seiya.

        But Taiki won the day.  After gulping down another shot, he rose to
his feet slowly, stood very still, and then struck a fighting pose.  "Chou
Blue!  Chou Red!"

        The other two Lights nearly fell over.  "That... was... the...
greatest!"  Yaten gasped as Taiki bowed and thanked the Academy.  A mention
of Seiya's wanna-be monster scare sent them into new rounds of hysterics,
and Yaten wiped tears from his eyes.  "Nice try anyway, Seiya!"

        Seiya muttered some choice words about his botched prank, and
wandered to other memories of that weekend.  "Odango in her bathing suit."

        "Seiya no hentai!"  Yaten burst out.

        "Oh, yeah," Taiki said, rolling his eyes.  "As if you weren't
eating it up.  Minako kowaaai!"

        "You're downright scary when you do that girl voice," muttered
Yaten as Seiya fell off the couch and scrambled back upright, chortling at
that comment still.

        "My turn,"  said the dark-haired Starlight, when he could catch his
breath.  "Cutest girl on Earth.  My vote's for..."

        "Odango," Taiki and Yaten intoned flatly.

        "Well, she was!" insisted Seiya, pouting.  "Taiki, your turn."

        Once more, Taiki made a show of getting up, putting his hand on his
heart, and assuming his most solemn expression.  "In my humble opinion," he
asserted, while the others shouted at him to get on with it, "the most
fabulous example of feminine charm, grace, and style in the pantheon of
lovely ladies we became acquainted with..."  He went on for a while,
occasionally stumbling on a word, while Yaten and Seiya faked elaborate
death scenes in the background.

        "...is..."

        Taiki waited for complete silence.  Then he cleared his throat and
said in a very small voice, "...Haruka."

        The room burst into utter chaos.

        When the giggles had finally died down, Seiya rubbed his eyes and
said, "Since we ALL know what Yaten's gonna say, and I'm beat, I move we
adjourn this meeting of..."

        Yaten stood up on the bed.  "Hey!  What was that?"

        "I'm with you there," Taiki said, stumbling towards the door.

        "'Scuse me!"

        "Night, Yat..."

        "HOLD IT!!!"

        The screech resounded off the ceiling, and Seiya and Taiki stopped
in their tracks.  "Omae-tachi..." growled Yaten.  "If you both know what I
was gonna say, why don't you clue me in?  Hmmmmm?"

        Seiya and Taiki stifled giggles.


        "Come ON!"  Yaten's snarls half-faded into whines.  "What are you
guys thinking?"  His shoulders tensed.

        Taiki doubled over in a fit of laughter.  "Poor helpless, hopeless
Yaten..."

        "I've just about had it with you!"  warned Yaten, making a fist.
Still the others giggled on.  "What could..."  His eyes widened.  "Hey,
Luna was a cat, okay?"

        The pair blinked.  "Luna?"

        A moment of silence, and then more laughter.  "Clueless!!!"

        Yaten felt sick.  "All right, you two, get... outta... my...
rooooom!" He flailed his arms like a madman, and the others acquiesced,
giggling all the way.

        "Night, Yaten... hee hee hee hee..."

        "Poor Yaten..."

        "...we're going, we're going..."

        "Bye bye... woo hoo, scary..."

        And just before they shut the door, someone called out, "Minako
kowaiiiiiiiiii!"

        Yaten sunk back to a sitting position and stared at the door for
several hours.

**

Recently, Star Castle

A rather stout chambermaid hummed to herself as she dusted off Yaten's
dresser.  Reaching behind it, she felt something between the drawers and
the wall that didn't belong-- something wedged snugly in there.  Confused,
and more than a little curious, she drew it out.  "Yaten Kou's Personal
Journal," she read out loud to the empty room.

        The nosy old woman couldn't help herself.  Taking a seat on the
nearby couch, she flipped through the pages and began to read.

                Tonight I observed something that wasn't
        meant for my eyes.  I had walked into the
        Princess's chambers to retrieve a paper that I'd
        left there after discussing it with Seiya, and I
        was in the next room when it took place. There
        was only a half-draped curtain between me and
        her dressing room, and by the time I realized
        what I was going to witness, it was too late
        to leave.  So I watched.
                The princess was sitting on a small
        bench, facing slightly sideways, her robes loose
        and draping over her legs unceremoniously.
        She'd been taking down her hair, pin by pin...
        Kakyuu-hime has unbelievably gorgeous hair,
        small red waves that fall neverending into a sea
        at her feet when she lets it down.  As the
        waterfall splashed in sequence, I was struck by
        her beauty and by the look on her face... such
        weariness, and a sadness I never get to see in
        daily palace life.  I knew right then I was
        intruding on a private moment.

The maid looked up briefly, trying to reconcile this sensitive, scholarly
Yaten with the boyish prankster she'd watched grow up, and read on.

                Seiya came in the door then, looking
        equally tired, as though his six feet of height
        were about to crumple in on him.  He placed a
        hand briefly on the Princess's shoulder, and
        continued on his way.  He was almost at the
        curtain (and I was almost discovered!) before he
        stopped, looked back, and noticed the look on
        her face.  "Must be a full moon," he joked,
        giving a bit of a smile.  In the following
        instant, he realized how foreign that idiom
        sounded to her, and turned away again,
        whereas she looked up at him with a sudden
        intensity.
                "Fighter."
                He stopped short, and I felt my heart
        skip a beat with his.  Kakyuu-hime always called
        Taiki and me by our formal names, but since
        we've returned, she nearly always addressed
        Seiya less formally.  She had serious questions
        on her mind tonight.
                Slowly, achingly, he turned back to her.
         All imperial flair-- more *flare*-- she
        continued.  "Do you miss her that much?"
                "Kakyuu."  His voice broke, and he
        strode rapidly to her chair, kneeling beside her
        and bowing his head in the stance of a repentant
        sinner.  She put her hands forth, and he buried
        his face in them, weeping and kissing them
        repeatedly.
                "Seiya," she continued in a gentler
        tone, lifting his face so his eyes could not
        escape her gaze.  He flinched at the probing
        stare.  "I need to know, Seiya," she said
        levelly.  "Do you truly want to be my consort?
        Seiya, do you love me?"
                Silence dragged on forever.  I cursed
        myself for existing and ruining this moment,
        even if they didn't realize it.  How I wished I
        could close my eyes and open them again
        somewhere else.
                "When our planet was destroyed," Seiya
        began, gaining some confidence, "we had nowhere
        to go, but to find you."  His hands found hers.
         "And that search took us to Earth, where we
        found our enemy and our new allies before we
        found you.  But for so long even before that, we
        were traveling the world looking for you.
        Sending our message out over the airwaves,
        through concerts and albums and everything we
        could use.  Every night, every concert, was
        about you.  But you still didn't appear.
                "And then I met Odango, and she had this
        light about her that was so strange and so
        beautiful.  I wondered, could it be you?  Surely
        two people in the universe couldn't have that
        same sparkle.  And I tried to mention it to her,
        to hint, so that you might realize that I knew
        it was you, and reveal yourself to me.  But it
        wasn't you.  She wasn't you.
                "We were all so tired.  We'd been
        searching and searching, and you didn't appear.
         It was like the nights had grown steadily
        darker, over all those months.  Kakyuu, we
        needed..."
                His voice broke again.  I felt myself
        choke too.  I don't think I'll ever forget the
        tone of his voice when he continued.
                "We needed a reason to hope.  We had to
        start to believe in these people of Earth, to
        give our hearts and minds to them.  Or else we'd
        be empty.  We'd have no more energy to search
        for you.  So in order to survive, I... I had to
        stop seeing Odango as just a target or a
        container, that could possibly hold the star I
        was looking for.  I had to start seeing her as a
        human, a star of her own.  And when that
        happened, I fell in love with her."
                The Princess flinched, but remained
        silent.  Seiya dropped his head for a minute,
        then rose to his feet, looking down at her
        passionately.
                "Don't you see?  We thought you might be
        dead!  Even Yaten couldn't feel your presence in
        the galaxy.  And Odango taught me that I had to
        give my heart to the living.  I knew I would
        fall in love with her if I let myself, so I
        didn't.  For a long time.  But that was killing
        me too, because without listening to my
        feelings, *I* wasn't human anymore!"  His tone
        reached a violent peak, and I saw fear in
        Kakyuu's eyes for the first time.  What she was
        afraid of, I couldn't quite sense.  The violence
        in his voice, or the truth of his words?
                "I loved her so much.  But she didn't
        feel the same.  She had a love already, and as
        jealous as I was, I'd never destroy that.
        Because I, too, had a true love.  And I was
        destined to return to her, no matter what
        happened."
                "Seiya."  The Princess spoke,
        hesitantly, for the first time since he'd began
        his story.   He began to speak again, and she
        attempted to cut him off.  "You don't need..."
                "No, there's more," he said.  "There was
        a night-- oh, stars, that night breaks my heart
        every time I think of it.  I did something...
        that reminded her of her lover... and she was
        crying, crying how she wanted to see him.  And I
        took her by the shoulders... and I said to her,
        'Am I not good enough?'"
                Another moment of silence.  Then Seiya
        repeated the phrase.  Kakyuu was once again
        shocked into silence.
                "And this is what I need you to see, my
        star.  I asked her that question because I was
        fighting fate.  By that time, you had returned,
        but what is a man to do when his heart has moved
        on and then his first love comes back from the
        dead?  I wanted to take my heart and flee the
        conflict... just grab her and run far away from
        all the turmoil of your return.  You know that
        it wouldn't have worked, don't you?"  He sat on
        the bench beside her now, taking her hands.  "I
        asked her that question-- am I not good enough?
        --because I wanted her to say that yes, I was an
        agreeable substitution.  The consolation prize
        for her lost love.  Because that's what she was
        to me.  I thought I could deny that-- she and I
        would go away, I wouldn't have to deal with
        feelings for a former love.  I should have known
        though, I should have known.  I loved Odango
        when I thought you were gone.  But I loved her
        because the glitter in her star reminded me of
        you.  And now that you're with me, no one could
        ever-- ever-- replace you!"  Crumpling into
        tears once more, he locked his arms tight around
        her waist, crying into her shoulder.  From my
        spot, I could see the look on her face of
        relief, but also of confusion somehow.  As if
        she'd realized that this was a part of his life
        she'd never be able to understand.

**

Juuban

        "Check out these totally cute guys!" Rei enthused, wielding a copy
of Ai Ai Idol like it was her battle flag.  "Aren't they incredibly cool
and gorgeous?"

        There was no response.

        She waved the paper again.  "Don't you guys think so?"

        Still silence.

        Rei double-checked all the parameters.  They were hanging at the
Crown Cafe-- check; there were five teenage girls at the table-- check;
they'd all downed hot fudge sundaes and were loaded with sugar-- check.  So
what was wrong with this picture?  The priestess half-clutched a spirit
ward-- but there didn't seem to be any evil spirits around.  No youmas,
daemons, or anything of the sort draining energy.  So what else could be
wrong?

        Looking around quickly, she finally stopped short at the sight of
Makoto smiling wryly at her.  The brunette lifted on hand to guide Rei's
outstretched arm back onto the table.  "Forget it, Rei-chan," she declared
with a bored air.

        "Wha--?"  Rei let out a disappointed whine.  She'd been so eager to
share these adorable new discoveries with the gang!  In defiance of
Makoto's knowing smile, a new wave of determination flooded through the
raven-haired teen.  She stood up, leaned over the table, and placed the
magazine directly in front of Usagi's face.  "Usagi?"  she began.

        But the blonde was slurping on her sixth milkshake, playing with
the silver ring on her finger and humming to herself slightly.  "Told ya,"
Makoto intoned.  "Now that Mamoru-san's back, she won't even look at
another guy." 
        Rei rolled her eyes in annoyance, and shoved her magazine in front
of Ami's face.  "Won't work," Makoto predicted.  "Ami-chan likes guys
enough, but she'll turn blue in the face before she ever admits to it." 
Rei was about to show Makoto just what she thought of her narration, when a
slight glow from behind the magazine caught her eye.

        Ami might not have been blue in the face, but she was certainly
bright red.  She stammered an apology and buried her face in her book.  Rei
sighed in defeat.  "At least tell me what YOU think of these guys," she
said, collapsing back down and handing the magazine to Makoto.

        To her relief, the tall girl squealed.  "Hiroshi-kun is so cool!"

        "Well, at least we have each other," Rei grinned and leaned over
the page.

        "You bet!" Makoto winked.  "You and me, boy-hunting pals till the
end. And don't forget Min.."  Rei nodded and started to say the name too,
but both their words trailed off as they looked across the table.  Rei and
Minako blinked, rubbed their eyes, and looked again.

        The only thing missing was a wind machine and soft pink lights.
Minako was idly playing with the straw in her drink, completely oblivious
to reality.  Her head was slightly tilted to the left and up, as if she was
staring at something right above Rei's head, but miles beyond her.  A
half-smile danced around the edges of her mouth, shifting from wistful to
gleeful with the moving patterns of light from the window.  Something even
more mysterious was floating in her eyes, but one thing was for sure--
those eyes didn't even see Rei or her fan magazine.  Minako was spaced out,
even for Minako.

        "Behhhhh."  Rei stuck her tongue out at Minako and contorted her
face into a series of ridiculous expressions.

        "Yoo-hoo!"  Mako waved her hands furiously in Minako's face.

        Rei and Makoto looked at each other.  "What on earth?!"

        "She's gone!"

        "Well, we've always known that about Minako-chan."  Rei couldn't
resist the offhand remark.

        "Maybe..." Makoto seemed to ponder a sudden thought.

        Rei pestered her.  "Maybe what? Maybe what?"

        Makoto began slowly.  "Do you suppose... it's possible... she's got
a secret... BOYFRIEND?"

        Gaping, Rei turned back to examine the space cadet.  At that
moment, a bit of wind rustled the plants outside the windowsill, and bent
the light subtly as it filtered through the leaves.  A strange shadow fell
on Minako's face, softening her features, making the curves of her cheeks
and lips that much sweeter, the long wave of her hair that much finer.  In
that moment, Rei thought it was VERY possible.

        She turned back to her friend, still gaping and speechless.  "It's
the only explanation," Makoto went on.  "I mean, really, twice in one week,
something's got to be going..."

        "TWICE!?"

        Makoto cringed visibly.  Oops.

        Rei revved into full attack mode.  "What do you know that I don't
know, Mako-chan?  Spill it!!!"

        "All right, all right!"  Makoto made like the Cowardly Lion, waving
her hands frantically to avoid the barking onslaught of the smaller girl.
"Well, you see, erm, she was at my place and...  wha?"

        A sudden pressure on her other side caused Makoto to stop and turn
her head trepidatiously.  "Ano... Ami-chan, if you want to look at the
magazine, go ahead, but you don't need to get quite so close, do you?"

        The guilty genius looked up to see Makoto's and Rei's shocked
stares, and promptly turned bright red again.  "Gomen nasai!"

**

Six months ago, Juuban

        "Seiya no baka!"

        Yaten slammed the door furiously.  He was sick, tired, and
disgusted.

        "How 'bout 'Congratulations, Seiya, on winning that exciting
softball game, you really did a great job'?" Seiya snapped back.  "Or is
that too much for you?"  He sat down on the couch and started fiddling idly
with a drumstick.

        "That's just like you," Yaten fumed.  "Always thinking of
yourself-- no, scratch that, you're always thinking of that Tsukino Usagi
and never thinking about our mission!"  He kicked a chair, hard, knocking
it over sideways.  It hit the ground with a satisfying thud.  "No wonder
the Princess isn't showing up!"

        "Don't you dare blame me for that!"  Seiya growled, brandishing the
drumstick.  "I've been working as hard as the rest of you.  It's not my
fault. Just because I want to have some fun in between concerts like a
normal person. I'm not the one who's stomping around, miserable!"

        "You're NOT a normal person!"  Clenching his fists, Yaten leaned
forward against the couch.  He stood now behind Seiya, practically shouting
in his ear.  "You're a Starlight, and we're on a mission!  Come on, Seiya,
which group means more to you anyway, us, or your precious softball team
with your pretty little rabbit girl?"

        "Leave her out of this!"  Seiya wheeled to face his partner,
looking daggers at him.  "She's got nothing to do with this.  You've got no
idea what it's like to be in love!"

        Yaten gasped.  Of course he knew, but hearing Seiya admit it...
"Have you forgotten all about the Princess?"

        "Of course not!"  Dark features flashed with outrage and sadness.
"But she's not here, and let's face it, we might not EVER find her."

        Betrayal swam in Yaten's shallow eyes.  "How can you give up hope
that easily?"

        "I'm not giving up hope-- I'm facing facts," insisted Seiya
levelly, a tone that made Yaten feel he was being slowly and methodically
scraped along fields of gravel.  "Come on, Yaten-- can you feel her at
all?"  And now his head was caving in... "Can you or can't you?"  Pressure. 
"Come on!  Yes or no?"

        "...no..." The admission squeaked out, and Yaten immediately hated
himself for admitting it, for being unable to sense her star in the first
place, for ever letting her out of his sight.  He took the remaining pieces
of his pride and lashed out with them, like a whip.  "But-"

        "But nothing!"  Another failed blow, and Yaten felt as if he'd been
thrown against a wall by his own strength.  "She's gone!  She could be--"

        "--Don't say it!"  Yaten pleaded, losing control of his voice.

        His begging eyes pacified Seiya slightly.  "Well, she could be. 
You could always feel her before, if she was close by."

        "I didn't feel her star disappear," Yaten insisted.  "She's still
alive."

        "How do you know for sure?  Maybe you weren't paying attention."

        That was the lowest of the low... accusing him of looking the other
way while the Princess was kidnapped.  "I'd know, I tell you!"  And then,
because he knew it'd hurt, "Maybe you're the one who slipped up back home,
when you let Galaxia through our defenses!  If it hadn't been for your
lousy mistakes..."

        "Does it matter!?" Seiya screeched, having hit the boiling point.
Tears were flowing freely now down his contorted face.  "Does it even
matter anymore?"  Anger and despair stabbed Yaten over and over again in
his throat and seemingly hollow chest, but his own frustration flared its
bitter shield as Seiya went on.  "We're alone!! We've been alone since we
arrived!  We've been trapped in this mission with no end in sight, unable
to do anything but search for her-- and fail--"  Seiya punctuated each word
with a jab into the cushions with his drumstick.  "Every-- single-- time!"

        Yaten was incredulous.  "So you just decide you're not gonna take
it anymore, is that it?  You're gonna have your fun, forget the Princess,
forget our mission--"

        "Damn it, Yaten, I've mourned enough!  I've been miserable since
the day we started this."  Yaten's eyes widened, and then narrowed in
sudden understanding and disgust.  "You're going to deny me my happiness?"

        "I'm already denying mine!"

        And for the first time since they'd entered the room, there was a
true silence.

        Yaten seethed, looking up through bloodshot eyes.  Fists trembled.
And when he spoke, his voice was icy.  "You think you're the only one who's
hurting?  You think you're the only one who's had to sacrifice their own
life for the sake of the mission?  Do you truly believe you're the only one
of us who wants to be doing more than stomping around, playing teen idol,
and feeling like a failure?  Well, I've got news for you, Seiya.  I hurt
too.  I hurt too!"

        "Yaten..." breathed Seiya in surprise.  But his fellow Light was
already out the door.

        Wiping his eyes on the cuff of his sleeve, Yaten stormed down the
street.  How dare he.  How dare he! sang the voice in his mind, over and
over as if mocking him.  He nearly tripped over a three-year-old-girl who
stared after him as he went on, not even noticing she was there.  Teenagers
shouted in excitement, but they couldn't touch him. Completely alone, he
raged, a one-man hurricane tearing up the pavement.

        Emotions swirled all around him, shock, surprise, contentment,
fear, distrust, everything that everyone on the street was feeling.  He
didn't acknowledge them, but at the same time he didn't push them out--
they were just feelings, not people, just different colors that built up
beneath him and buoyed his own confusion and anger up past the floodlines. 
He felt as though he was drowning in a thick stew, desperately trying to
fight his way to the surface.


        And then, like a rope swung down from the heavens, the clarion call
of a kindred sadness cried out to him.  Orange and glowing, and so
familiar...  He grabbed onto it with a leap of his saddened heart.  Someone
was feeling the same way he was.  Someone close by!

        Stopping in mid-step, Yaten focused, pushed out all the rushing
energies around him, and closed his empathetic sense around that one line.
Carefully, he followed it, around the corner and toward a small patch of
grass near a children's playground.  His face brightened.  There was
somebody there, and above the throng of people he could make out a
melancholy voice.

        "...another one, Artemis.  I'm just sick of it always interfering.
If I ever get to another audition, they're going to know me as the no-show
girl..."

        A white cat scampered suddenly off into the bushes, and the girl
(whom Yaten now recognized) looked up in surprise.  "Oh... Yaten-kun!"
Minako said as brightly as she could, trying to hide her puffy,
tear-stained face.

        "Yo."  Yaten sat down beside her and was instantly aware of a
certain calm, like a pink sunrise creeping along the edge of the horizon. 
He felt the tense muscles in his face relax slowly.  "So how's the star
search going?" he said.  The words made them both wince.

        "Could be better.  Can't I just join you guys and be the fourth
Light?" she joked. 

        Why was each sentence coming out so painfully?  He wrinkled his
nose at her.  "Why would you want that?"

        "Oh, a lot of reasons."  A hint of a smile played across her face,
surprising Yaten.  "You're real stars. You really shine-- but what I like
best is, even when you're shining as a group, you're each stars yourselves. 
You can be part of a group, and be yourself, at the same time.  You're
really special that way."

        Yaten suddenly had the feeling he was on a speedboat, the motor
vibrating violently under the deck as he steered blindly through a dark
tunnel.  The wind was so strong.   "Are we..?" he wondered breathlessly.

        She nodded, tilting her head sideways and leaning on her folded
arms as she had that other night.  "I think that's really important, don't
you?"

                (You're going to deny me my happiness?)

        "No!" Yaten blurted, trying desperately to stop the light show
flashing back and forth in the endless tunnel.  "When you're in a group,
it's the group that's important, not you.  You're just a part of it.  Any
other way won't get the job done!"

        She was shaking her head.   "You're wrong," she answered finally,
in a low voice that trembled ever so slightly.  And once again Yaten felt
the strong cord of her emotion matching his own, making all his masks and
barriers as transparent as hers were to his empathetic eye.

        She went on.  "I can't believe in something like that.  If you're
in a group that stifles you, then it's not a good group.  You have to keep
your own dreams alive, or you'll never be able to help them anyway."

        "But sometimes if you act on your own, it's bad for the group.  You
won't get where you're going.  You gotta make some sacrifices."

        "What, sacrifice yourself?  Nobody wants you to do that.  Nobody
who really cares about you."

        The Princess cares.  Doesn't she?  "Sometimes there's something
more important, and you can't do whatever you want!"

        Minako wasn't sure what caused this reaction, but she didn't
appreciate being yelled at.  Not tonight.  Not after another rejection. 
Not after her dream was that much farther from her reach.  "How would you
know? You've got everything.  You're an idol.  You can do whatever you
want."

        Whatever I want... "And you can't?  At least you don't have to deal
with the rest of the package.  You're free!"

        "Free?" she echoed in horror, and then again, as if she was mocking
the word.  "I'm more of a prisoner than you'll ever be.  I'm trapped!"

        "You think so?  I'd give anything to be that thing you hate so
much. You're so selfish!"

        "You don't know the first thing about me, and you don't know what
I've given up already!  What have you ever given up?"  Raging red now, her
hair tearing about her, a throaty, scratchy scream.  "You wanna talk about
sacrifice?  You don't know the meaning of sacrifice!"

        Somewhere in the realm of the mind, two painfully bright colors
merged and exploded into white.

        Yaten hung his head.  Two clenched fists scraped the ground,
uprooting two clumps of grass, as he kneeled, knees facing Minako's, but
hiding his face beneath a sheath of long silver-blond hair.  His whole body
trembled.

        Minako stared.  Her blue eyes quivered.  He'd just crumpled before
her, deflated like a dying balloon.  Her head dropped too, in shame and
dismay, and she stared blankly at the crux where the curves of their
not-quite-touching knees made a diamond of empty space.  "...I'm sorry,
Yaten," she breathed, and the words sounded pitifully weak and
insufficient.

        "No," came the equally soft reply, "I'm sorry..."

        "I shouldn't have..."

        "..said all that..."

        A sniffle.

        "There are really some things..."

        "...I just shouldn't say..."

        A gray, hesitant silence quavered for a long, whirling moment.

        Still they sat, facing each other, heads hung low so that the gold
and silver clouds of hair were barely touching, wrapped in an invisible
cloak woven of melancholy and of something else, something stranger and
more new. It was only in retrospect that either of them remembered
finishing each other's sentences, or that her hands had closed over his
tightened fists. Minako just stared into the dirt, and as for Yaten, he
wasn't seeing anything at all... but enveloped in Minako's emotion, trying
to figure out how he was able to not just sense her feelings, but meld with
them somehow.  Immersed in this puzzle, he didn't notice a single tear
slide down his nose and make a small, dark stain in the patch of dust where
Minako's eyes were focused.

        Those eyes widened at the sudden change of color where they were
staring, and she looked up again.  "Yaten.. you're crying?" she gasped,
inches from his lowered head.

        Her voice, more solid and less breathy than her earlier apology,
shook Yaten out of it.  He attempted to push her emotion away, stuck his
tongue out, grinned, and looked up, saying, "So, you are too.  So wha.."

        When his head raised to meet her gaze, the teasing expression slid
off his face like water, and he lost his words. He felt assaulted by huge
blue eyes, staring through him.  Dry lips slightly parted, and flushed
cheeks still stained from crying. All less than an inch from his own
tear-stained features. So very, very close.  And her emotions were still
melting into his, insisting that they had a place deeper within him than
any other sensation his empathetic soul had experienced, deep in the core
where he locked his own feelings.  Yaten felt as if he were being drawn
through a loom, pulled apart, strung together, smoothed over, completed. 
Bound to her.

        Grasping her hands with a slight pressure, he leaned forward, and
groaning, nearly obsessively, he pulled her closer, kissing her for a long,
intense moment.  He felt as though she were diffusing into him, sweet,
sweet lips going deeper than his mouth, caressing his bones, kissing his
very mind. The tense fists let go their rooted positions and became claws,
clutching at her soft hair, which seemed to tease and slip away just as it
brushed against his trembling fingers.  She was so warm, so warm and sweet
and real, and he kissed the sides and the edges of her mouth, feeling sure
that he was turning to liquid, that he'd melt away.  For the first time in
his life, Yaten Kou, the born empath who felt within him the lives of every
star in the heavens, was driven mindless, completely overwhelmed by
sensation.

        Kissing her mouth repeatedly, softer and shorter, he felt the
ground come to a stop beneath him.  Her lips were eager, continuing to turn
upwards for more, but the dull weight he'd momentarily thrown off was
settling back onto his shoulders.  Treasuring the feel of her skin in those
final moments, he finally let his mouth and hands trail away.

        Minako breathed in short, stuttering gasps.  What kisses those had
been, what strange visions of stars were in her mind!  Flushed but glowing,
she smiled softly, focusing for some reason on the movement of her lips.
Were they different, after such kissing?  Did they move differently?  What
would happen to those lips now?  She looked as every girl does after being
unexpectedly kissed into dizziness.  Absolutely radiant.  Because of this,
Yaten was terrified.

        In horror, he stared blankly at the girl's reaction.  There it was,
the monster, expectation.  Lit by hope and an irresistible charm, a charm
she didn't even know she was radiating, which made him want to touch her
face, to give her the hundreds of kisses he could feel just behind his
lips, and discover a thousand others he didn't even know he had... but the
rest of his life was slowly coming into focus again, the grass, the
swingset behind her, the fence and the street, and somewhere, blocks away,
a room where his two partners were awaiting him.  And perhaps even further,
a Princess in hiding from a dead planet...

        "I can't do this," he whispered, shaking his head.  She cracked
like glass, and he felt every shard fall, cutting himself on her stunned
pieces. He got to his feet, missing the touch of her hands desperately. 
And he shook his head again, several times, quickly.  Hoarsely, he
stuttered, "This... is something I can't do."  Feeling as though he were
falling, he ran in the other direction.

        She didn't call out to him, which made it easier to run away.  But
her sensations didn't fade, as he expected them to, when the distance
between them widened.  Still they burned on, the orange cord of her emotion
transmuted into a coil, as of a guitar string or a snake, powerful and
sparking.  He choked on the smoke and ran on.

        "I hate this place."

        Once again, Yaten slammed the door.  "We're wasting time."  Seiya
and Taiki looked up.  "We need to cut the chit-chat--" he swept by a small
table, knocking over a pile of magazines-- "cut the idol bit--"  --he
stepped firmly on his own face on one of the scattered magazine covers--
"cut the flirting--" a pointed glance his way set Seiya off, and he rose
with a face full of rage.  Taiki pacified him with a glance-- "find the
Princess, and get out of here!" Yaten sat down abruptly to signal the end
of his tirade.

        At bit of silence.  Then, strangely enough, the next sound was
laughter.  "Well, what's with you?"  Seiya chuckled, ignoring Yaten's
glares. "You sound almost as if something's gotten to you!"  Rising, he
circled round Yaten's chair and put a hand on the peeved rock star's
shoulder.  "Come on, you can tell me," Seiya crooned patronizingly.  "Did
something upset poor little Yaten?  Make him afraid he might be HAPPY one
of these days?"

        "Shut up!"  stammered Yaten, pushing Seiya away with as much power
as he could muster.  Seiya smirked.  Luckily, the third and most
level-headed Light was able to take quick control of the situation.

        "All right, you two," he began, after clearing his throat.  "Yaten
is right-- we need a new plan.  We've been doing nothing but play catch-up
with Galaxia, and trying to keep these other Sailor Soldiers out of
trouble."  He pushed his glasses up on his nose and paced like an army
general.  "Now. We've got this airplane gig for the fan club tomorrow
night.  It's a two level plane, and we should have some time to plan our
strategy then.  Until then, both of you cool down and start thinking up new
ways to get the Princess's attention.  Our allegiance is to her, remember?" 
Like sheepish schoolboys, the two nodded.  "All right then.  We'll discuss
it during the ride, and adjust our strategies afterwards."

        As it turned out, that very airplane ride made the adjustments for
them. "We don't run away!  Venus Crystal Power... Make Up!"

**

Present day, Star Castle

        The chambermaid started as a friend's voice called her name.
"C--coming!"  she stuttered, and left the room in a sudden fright of
getting caught.  Maids are never the most resourceful criminals, however,
and she dropped the book on the floor.  It opened to the very last page
that had been written on, and had she picked up the journal again, she
might have noticed that the ink was still wet...

                "It's my dream," she'd said.

                I didn't have a dream.  I never had the
                time or space to find my dream.  That was
                what being a Sailor Soldier was all about.
                How could she, a Sailor Soldier too,
                how could she stand there with that
                glowing face and tell me SHE had a dream?
                        "Soldiers have missions.  We don't
                have dreams,"  I slammed her against
                the wall, with my words harder than
                with my arms, but I was the one who
                felt I was being crucified on concrete.
                She was still glowing, damn her.

                        I wonder when it was that I
                realized she was my dream?

**

Star Castle Throne Room

        Yaten bowed formally, dropping to his knees and lowering his head.
"Princess."  But the defiant eyes twinkled upward to search her face.

        "Healer," Kakyuu said in a smooth tone from her throne.

        He waited for her to allow him to rise.  When she said nothing, he
shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.  Still she remained silent.
Was she waiting for him to speak first?  That was not royal protocol.  But
still, the Princess had an unsettling habit of following her intuitions
instead of the rule books.  In fact, he was counting on it.

        "I come to request a..."  Boon?  Leave?  Favor?  What *was* he
asking for?  "...to make a request of your Majesty."

        She was silent still.  Finally, lifting her head slightly, she
said, "What sort of request?"

        Yaten was about to answer when he felt the world collapsing beneath
him.  He had a sudden vision of chains breaking, of generations melting
away. His stomach sank into his knees.  Was that what he was doing, after
all? Throwing away his home just as Galaxia had thrown it away?  And after
he'd fought so hard to get it back?

        He bit his lip, a movement that didn't go unnoticed.  "What is
troubling you, Healer?"  Kakyuu asked, shivering from the fear he was
emanating.

        "I wish--"  He choked, swallowed hard, winced.  His mouth opened
again, but only an empty cough came out, no words.  Couldn't Kakyuu hear
how loud his head and heart were pounding?  It wasn't respectful at all!
Snapping his head upwards, green mist coming into bright focus, he heard
the words spill out.  "I wish to leave your services!"

        She looked like she'd been rammed with an iron rod.  The color left
her face; it seemed she might cave in.  Yaten felt as though he'd vomited
all over the sacred coronation robes.  He vainly attempted to cover his
mouth with his hand, but the damn thing would not leave the floor.  He'd
said it.  He'd said it.

        The Princess's expression calmed then, and she rose, pacing
slightly before her throne.  "This is... quite unexpected, Healer," she
said at last. "Why do you wish to do this?"

        He could have sworn he heard her voice tremble a little.  "Ummm,"
he began.  Terribly eloquent.  Idiocy-- royal idiocy!  How could he get it
come out right?  His poor Princess, who'd been through so much just to get
back home with her beloved people and her three loyal protectors, and now
she'd lose one?   What kind of an ungrateful idiot was he?  How could he
make her understand?  How could he tell her that he felt his life was no
longer here, that he wished to return to Earth to explore the part of his
soul that he'd left there?

        Then, with a gulp, he realized he'd just told her.

        This time his fingers did fly to his mouth... hands and face turned
ashen, and shaking.  She stood, pierced by his unintentional explosion of
words, staring down at him with a look that spoke chapters of betrayal and
confusion.  He tried hard to read her face, but not her mind.  Never her
mind. Yaten put up his strongest possible blockade, to keep from invading
the sacred privacy of his Princess's thoughts and feelings.  He lowered his
head again.

        "So," she began, in the hollow tone of one on her deathbed,  "you
too cannot let it go."  A certain exchange flew through both their
memories--one experienced, one eavesdropped on-- as he realized exactly why
this had cut her so deeply.  "Healer, I have never and still do not
understand this all.  You come to a place where battles rage, after losing
the only home you ever knew and the world you grew up in, and you are
subjected to endless trials in a strange place.  We finally return home
where we belong, where we are loved and accepted, where the shadows of war
will no longer haunt us but the beauty of rebirth is with us ever.  And
still, you want to return?"

        Little teardrops itched in the corners of Yaten's eyes.  Closing
them tightly, he listened to the swordstrokes of her imperious tone.

        "This is a place that needs you.  Shinsei benefits daily from your
guidance, and Fighter and Maker and I value and treasure your comradeship.
This planet, and this Star Castle, is a place where you will always be
welcome.  You will always have the love and support you need.  Your future
is certain here, and you will not find that any other place in the
universe. You will most likely end up alone and hungry for home.  I am
somewhat older than you, Healer, and I have watched you grow.  I know where
you will end up successful and sure.  Here.  With us."

        "I... understand," Yaten whispered hoarsely, tears trickling
downward like persistent termites across his cheeks.  He'd tried, but he'd
failed. His eyes squeezed hard to hold the remaining tears in, and he
choked.  "I thank your Majesty for hearing my request, even if you deni..."

        A gentle pressure on his shoulders stopped him.  Looking up
tremulously, he found himself staring into the Princess's face... *smiling*
face.  She'd kneeled down in front of him, her hands blessing both his
shoulders like a priest and a sinner redeemed.

        "I grant your request," she said.  As he gasped, she went on.  "I
shall pray for you and miss you daily, as will the others, and all our
people. Know that we will always be here for you if you need a home, and
that you will never lose your place in our hearts."  Slowly, she
straightened up.  He still kneeled, gaping, unmoving.  "I wish you luck and
power, Sailor Star Healer. You are most honorably dismissed."

        Some thousand heartbeats later, a shooting star flared across the
night sky.  And beneath another night sky, someone saw it and made a wish.

END OF PART I

******

--Jen

   @___@    ||  eponine@ccs.neu.edu * http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/eponine *
  //@_@\\   ||  (.../gallery.html for pics .../tux/tuxedo.html for the
Shrine)
 //  o  \\  ||  Long live the meatball headed one! * ICQ UIN: 8180568
finally
Yaten's Love Song: Part II of II

Jennifer Wand <eponine@ccs.neu.edu>

CULTURAL NOTES:

"masaka" and "uso" means "No way"/"impossible"/"it's a lie!"
"Boku" is a form of "I" that most boys, and some girls, use.  It's hard to
explain exactly in which circumstances "boku" is used.  So just know: in
the BSSM anime, Haruka, Artemis, Yaten, and Erios use "boku," to name a
few.
"no" is a preposition indicating ownership.  So "Boku no" = My, "Jen no
fanfic" = Jen's fanfic, etc.
"iie" means "no".  "Un" and "Hai" are both ways of saying "yes".
"ne" (sometimes "na") can mean "eh?" or "hey..." or "don't you think?" 
It's
VERY commonly used.
"Makenai!" means "Don't give up!"
"Hora" is "Hey" or "look" or "Oh"
"Arigatou" means "thank you"
"Doshita" (shortened from Doshita no?) is an informal way of saying "What's
wrong?" or "What's going on with you?"
"Onegai" means "please"
And as I said before, "Shinsei" means "new star," and it's the name of the
Starlights' new planet.  (established in Part I)
"Sumimasen" means "I'm sorry" or "excuse me."
"senpai" is the Japanese equivalent for Makoto's ex-boyfriend.
"Gomen ne" or "Gomen nasai" is "I'm sorry."

I used the Japanese phrases when an English phrase didn't really convey the
connotation I wanted, or where I associate a particular phrase with a
character... those VA's are wonderful!

There is a VERY small amount of swearing in this.  Just "damn" and "hell."
There is also just a tiny bit of hentai teaser.  But ladies and gentlemen,
I hereby declare that it does NOT have to be sex going on in that scene. 
Many couples have had many experiences like that withOUT even coming close
to sexual intercourse.  So just take it as romance, and relax.

Now, without further ado, on with the story!

*******

        A glimmer of yellow light, tinted slightly blue.  It slid along the
shiny surface and hovered near the edge, before the image winked out and a
woman's face came into focus.

        "So it's true then," said Haruka, looking over her partner's
shoulder.

        "I wonder why," Michiru mused.

        "Have you felt anything?"  She shook her head.  "Me neither.  What
could be going on then?"  Haruka's fist clenched reflexively.  She hated
being out of control of situations, not having a clue which way things
would turn.

        Michiru turned, setting her mirror down.  Her hands moved to cover
Haruka's.  Concern hovered like a murky grey shadow in those blue-green
eyes. "We'll find out," she reassured. "Don't worry, Haruka.  We'll find
out exactly what's going on."

*******

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars:
Yaten's Love Song

A Sailor Moon fanfic by Jennifer A. Wand

Part II

********

        "And you can look for Hiroshi's new movie starting April fourth!"

        The announcer grinned nervously as she waited just a tad too long
for the camera to cut back to the newsroom.  A sigh echoed, but went
unheard by the lady on the screen.  The scene was a typical one:  five
girls, a table, and a bunch of homemade snacks... oh yeah, and some
textbooks with, presumably, some homework in them.  Not that that mattered
much to the girls, who had long since forgotten they were supposed to be
studying.  Usagi and Rei were in the midst of one of their infamous tongue
wars, Makoto and Minako were giggling and oohing by turns at the TV screen,
and Ami was sighing, resigned to the fact that this particular study
session was over.

        "Rei-chan, you just missed Hiroshi-kun!"  Makoto called absently,
but shifted her attention back to the TV when Rei didn't answer.  She
batted her eyelashes at the screen as if Hiroshi might just pop out and
steal her away. Minako laughed at her briefly, and was about to make a
snide comment when she heard something on the TV that caught her attention.

        "Mystery in the music world!" the anchor had said enthusiastically.
"The hottest rumor since the Ginga TV scandals has just been confirmed by
Takeuchi Music.  A mystery musician will make his solo debut at the
Mitsuishi Forum in a month.  All we know about the star is that he was
already a celebrity, though we don't know how, and that he is, well, a he." 
Shuffling papers, the anchor continued.  "The agency refused to give any
more details."

        "Who's gonna buy tickets to a concert when they don't even know
who's playing?"  Makoto said, though her words were swallowed by the TV and
the tongue war across the table.

        "But speculation is buzzing fast and furious on the streets.  The
most popular suggestion is that the mystery artist is one of the Three
Lights..."

        You could have heard a pin drop at the Hikawa Jinja temple.

        Every eye turned toward the screen.  Usagi didn't even bother to
put her tongue back in her mouth.  Ami sat straight up like a soldier at
attention.  Everyone else leaned forward onto the table and stared up at
the TV set, barely breathing or blinking, ready to take in whatever
information was thrown at them.

        "..who vanished from the music scene completely several months ago.
Some theorists have linked them to the incident at Ginga TV, considering
their final concert turned somewhat violent, but an official explanation
has yet to be given for the trio's conspicuous absence.  Fellow musicians
have shed no light on the subject, but even their silences have been quite
revealing."

        The scene shifted to a hallway, and Usagi finally let a "Masaka!"
fall from her mouth.  More clamorous exclamations burst out when a familiar
head of aquamarine hair appeared at the other end of the hall.

        "Kaiou-san!"  the reporter shouted, running toward her just ahead
of the camera.  "Do you have any clue who this mystery musician could be?"

        She laughed, putting on her charmingly aloof camera face, and said
playfully, "If I knew, I certainly wouldn't tell."

        "Any thoughts on the possibility that it might be one of the Three
Lights?"

        Her smile vanished, as if a shadow had passed over her face,
distorting her features.  After a moment of staring, she turned away from
the camera and began to walk briskly in the other direction.  "You've
played concerts with the Three Lights!"  insisted the reporter, pursuing
her.  "Do you know the secret behind their disappearance?"

        "Michiru-san was upset," commented Rei as the woman on the screen
lost the pesky reporter, and the TV cut back to the anchor.  "Do you
suppose?"

        This time it was Minako who said, "Masaka..."

        "...keep you posted," finished the anchor.  "Oh, and one final
piece of information for you.  According to the press release, the mystery
man had this to say: 'I'll be releasing my album the night of the concert. 
The title will include my name, but for now you can call the album Boku no
Love Song.'"

**

        "...and he's calling it Boku no Love Song," enthused Usagi, much
later.  "Isn't that romantic?"  Cheeks flushed and eyelashes fluttering,
she looked up at her boyfriend.

        "Yeah," said Mamoru absently.  His nose was buried in a book,
seemingly oblivious to the feminine wiles being shoved in his face.  As if
guided by some kind of radar, he turned the corner onto his street without
even looking up.

        "And Mako-chan started in with the list of her ex-boyfriends who
were musicians.  She went on and on!  I asked Rei-chan if it was
Yuuichirou, and she turned bright red!  I haven't seen her do that since,
well, since the time you stayed over there.  Do you suppose something
happened between them?  Oh well, she'll never tell."  It didn't bother
Usagi that she was apparently talking to a wall.  She just hung on his arm
lightly, skipping back and forth a few steps now and then, happily babbling
away.  They turned into the apartment building in sync, and once in the
elevator, Mamoru finally closed his book.

        "So who do you think it is, Usako?" he said seriously.

        "Mmm... I don't know!" she said with the air of one who'd been
pondering the problem for years.  "I suppose it's not Mamoru no Love Song,
is it, Mamo-chan?  Not the way you sing..."  He grinned guiltily at that,
and shrugged.  "But what I want to know is, who's the love song for?  Must
be one lucky girl, to have a guy that romantic.  Almost as lucky as I am." 
She giggled as the elevator stopped and they walked down the hall towards
Mamoru's apartment.

        "In a way, I kind of hope it IS Yuuichirou," she frowned, her tone
suddenly more serious.  Mamoru looked down at her questioningly.  "Just for
Rei's sake.  I mean, look at us!  We've been so happy for so long, but none
of my friends have had real boyfriends... almost since I met them.  And
they SHOULD.  It would make them all so happy, just if one of them found
the right guy, or just any nice guy, that they could be with for a while. 
All their happiness shouldn't be about me. They may be my guardians, but
they're people too."  By this time, they'd reached the door, and Mamoru was
staring at her in amazement.  She seemed genuinely distressed by the
thought that her friends hadn't found love, and Mamoru felt his heart leap,
astonished at the extent of her caring.

        He unlocked the door and they went inside.  "Now that it's been
peaceful for months, they don't have any Senshi-related excuse not to." 
Her eyes brightened and she looked at him with a grin.  "Hey, Mamo-chan,
what do you say we fix them up with some nice guys?  You have friends at
the university!  Let's do it!  I'll find out if any really nice guys at
school have their eyes on any of them, and we'll fix them up!!  All right!" 
She cheered.  "Sounds like a plan!"

        Mamoru chuckled in a warm voice, and Usagi looked up at him,
suddenly blushing.  He set his book down on the table and pushed the door
closed with his one free hand.  The last of his warm words that drifted
into the hall were, "Okay, Usako, but right now, let's just..."

**

        Sunlight slid from sweet golden hair and refocused on wrinkled
sheets. The first thing Minako was aware of was a dim fluttering, like a
hummingbird's heartbeat.  Her eyelashes fluttered in sync, slowly letting
in the radiant rays for a moment, then a moment, then a longer moment
still.  The gears in her mind began to turn jerkily, letting the old
familiar assumptions fall into place-- who she was, where she was, what was
going on.  And her mind's eye rested softly on the enigma of the
fluttering, a dim sense not quite in any part of her chest, but tangible
enough to linger on for long minutes on a Saturday morning.

        Whatever it was, it was like a caged bird, flapping madly to get
out, to fly free.  But it threaded a merry tune through her heart as it
beat its wings, and Minako registered that the muscles in her face had
moved, that she was smiling.  But now there was a new question.  Was it a
pushing from inside, as she had thought, or had something else roped the
tiny bird and was now pulling at it?  In any case, Minako felt a wave of
restlessness vibrate through her fingers and arms, and fall back into a
pool of radiant feeling.

        She was awake enough now to realize something was different--
something seemingly small, perhaps with her mattress, or the sidewalk
outside, or the angle of the sun in the sky.  Some star was glittering with
untold brilliance, and it was calling to her, softly but steadily, like a
low whistle echoing through a valley on a dark night.

        Minako sat up, blinking her eyes several times, and tried to
suppress the sparkling energy that seemed to be wrapped about her.  This
was a sensation she hadn't felt in a long time... true happiness, hope, the
feeling that something was right about the world-- HER world.  The glimmer
on the horizon of something special waiting for her-- not for her and her
friends, not for Sailor Venus, but for Aino Minako, and only Aino Minako. 
Almost the way she'd felt when she went to idol auditions, when she was
fighting crime as Sailor V-- before Artemis told her it was time to join up
with her team.

        Not that she didn't love Usagi and the others with all her heart,
because she did.  And not just because they were assigned to be a team.
Her friends gave her a sense of belonging, a safety net to fall into when
life dealt her a punch, something she never had on her own.  Usagi was so
much like her, and they had so much fun, and she never failed to have a
ball when gabbing with Makoto, and so on.  But the line between teamwork
and co-dependency is tricky, especially for a girl who'd been alone most of
her life.  And in the past two years, Minako had often felt like she was
only a fifth of a unit, like she had no value on her own, that her only
purpose was to be part of the group.  And that burned into her so
painfully.  She longed to find a purpose of her own, a destiny meant for
her and her alone, that she could take first and foremost without waiting
for the others to have their share.  And that longing swallowed her
sometimes.  So she'd strike out from the belly of the beast, shouting
assertions that she would be the greatest and most beautiful superstar in
the world, that millions would love her most of all.  She'd be the one, not
the one-fourth or the one-fifth.  So there.

        And while Usagi-chan's reassurances that her dreams were important
helped, it was hard to believe such things coming from the person you'd
given your life to protect, over and over again.  Sometimes Minako felt the
tears welling up in her eyes, and she just wanted to scream in Usagi's
face, "Never again!  I'm not dying for you ever again!  I'm never going to
sacrifice my own life, just to save yours.  So forget it!"  But it wasn't
true-- she *would* still die for her Princess-- but why did things always
turn out so she actually had to?

        Minako brushed the tears from her eyes and giggled a little at
herself.  Deep thoughts at eight thirty in the morning?  Never.  Not
allowed. The only thing I'm gonna think about, she decided, is how happy I
am that it's been peaceful.  But a persistent hummingbird reminded her that
this morning's shining joy was the result of newfound independence-- and
you can't have that without the painful dependence of the past.

        "Artemis!  Wake up!"

        The white cat opened his eyes hesitantly, grumbling in a low
monotone. He saw Mina upside down, and closed his eyes again.  It took
another moment for him to register this as an unusual sight, and when he
did, his eyes popped open once more.  She was lying with her hips resting
on the bed, but her upper body twisted sideways like a funny barbershop
pole.  Her mess of blonde hair was resting on the floor right in front of
him, her eyes right at his eye level, and a sinfully gleeful grin above
that.  "Mina..." he muttered. "What..."

        "Guess what?" she said from those inverted lips.

        "I shudder to think," said Artemis in the same droning voice.

        "It's Saturday!!"  Minako giggled.

        Artemis closed his eyes.  "Oh. Brilliant."

        "Guess what else?" Her glowing voice invaded his already scant
privacy.  "I've got a yen... to go shopping!"  Minako grabbed him by the
fur on his back, rousing him to full consciousness.  He gave a yowl of
shock. "So get up get up get UP!"

        At the first available moment, Artemis wrested himself from her
grasp and collapsed, bristling and panting, onto her bed.  "Mina, it's
still early in the morning!"  he whined.  "Can't we go back to sleep?"

        "Iie," she insisted, throwing a pretty green blouse over her
shoulders.  "We're going shopping downtown."

        "But..."

        "Or, if you'd like," Minako said in her horror-movie voice, turning
toward him with a scowl that would make the bravest cat shudder, "I can
tell Luna who polished off the cat food before the study session at Rei's
even STARTED."

        The tomcat gulped.  "Erm... let's go."

        In a happy haze, Minako bounded down the street, a wicker basket on
one swinging arm.  Artemis clutched the sides as her purse slid back and
forth on the basket floor beneath him.  After a few years as Minako's pet,
he'd gotten used to the occasional abuse by his sometimes clueless owner. 
But it was still nauseating.  Artemis wondered dimly if it was possible to
get seasick in a basket.  He concluded that if it wasn't, this was a pretty
good imitation!

        He tilted his head upwards.  On the other hand, he conceded, it was
nice to hear Minako humming again.  She'd been seriously distracted in
these last few months of peace-- not so much that he suspected anything
dangerous was going on, but enough to make him worry.  He cared about her
as if she was his little sister, and no one, not even Usagi, knew her as
well as he did. Over the years, he'd watched melancholy eat her alive and
frustration tear away at her walls.  And yet she'd been healing, slowly,
this past year.  He fondly remembered the surge of hope in his heart as he
watched her from backstage at those idol auditions-- she'd been radiant,
glittering.  But then Galaxia had descended, and their lives were shattered
once more.

        But today, she was on some kind of high, and it was more genuine
than the mania she often wore in front of her friends.  She was joyful. 
And although Artemis's stomach kept lurching, his heart was smiling.

        They popped into a million stores, boutiques, cute little charm
shops, even a candy store (where she'd slipped the jelly beans into her
basket for Artemis to munch on).  After leaving each store, the cat would
pop out of his little hiding place and survey her new purchases.  A dress
the same shade of green as her blouse.  A gold chain with a tiny purple
sign of Venus on it. Tacky earrings.  She modeled each with pride for her
appreciative audience of one.  A few people on the street did a double take
when they saw the blonde talking to no one, then caught a glimpse of white
ears and fuzzy paws sticking out of her basket.  Artemis couldn't talk in
public, but he gave appropriate mews and approving nods.  Minako would
giggle, and they'd move on.

        Sun bleached the tops of branches at noon, when Minako sat down on
a brick wall near Juuban park to take a rest.  She brushed her hand over
her forehead and sighed happily, "Phew!"  Artemis poked his head out, then
leapt from the basket when he saw that they were relatively secluded-- just
down a path from most of the passersby.  Stretching, he meowed and grinned
at her.

        "Having a good time?" he said, pacing around a sunny spot.  She
nodded.  "Me too.  Thanks for the jelly beans."

        "And who said they were for you?" she scowled frighteningly.

        Artemis jumped in shock and embarrassment.  "Um... uh..." he
fumbled, looking guilty and staring at his front paws.

        "Just kidding."  Her face relaxed, and so did poor Artemis's tense
back.  "Scared ya, huh?  Naw, I wouldn't have put them in there if they
weren't for you.  I know better than that!"  She shook her finger at him.

        "And what is that supposed to mean?" he teased back.

        "It means," she began, assuming the position of lecturer and
staring out toward the street philosophically, "that you, sir, are a
bottomless pit. A Hoover.  A black hole.  A--"  She stopped short.

        "Sweet-toothed catburglar?" Artemis offered helpfully.

        But Minako had turned pale.  She was staring down the path toward
the crowd of people going to and returning from lunch.  And her eyes were
suddenly hollow.  Before Artemis could stutter more than a confused "Ah--,"
she had taken off running, nearly tripping over herself in her frantic
flight toward the sidewalk.  Paralyzed, he watched her go, her hair
bouncing over and over itself like frenetic threads of dying sunshine.

        She nearly disappeared into the crowd, but then stopped short,
turned, and began to make her slow way back to their spot on the wall. 
Artemis stayed as still as possible, not wanting to remind Minako that he
was there.  He peered at her face as she approached, wanting to read the
expression before she changed it for his benefit.

        "Sorry 'bout that," she said as she plastered on her huge Aino
Minako trademark grin.

        Artemis knew all hope of reading her was lost.  "What on earth got
into you, Mina?" he yawned critically.

        "Oh, nothing, nothing."  She waved her hand back and forth, as if
to dismiss the whole thing.  "Thought I saw someone I knew.  Wanna get
going?"

        The cat nodded, and steeled himself for the wicker ship of
nightmares to launch once more.  As they walked down the street, he
overheard a few of her mumbles and took note of them.  More than a few
"Us-o!"s, and one "that would explain it..."

**

        "Well, Yaten-san, this mystery woman of yours is pretty lucky,"
came a booming voice, and Yaten abruptly looked up, leaving a lonely note
quivering in the air.

        Taishi was a big grizzly bear of a man, with a scratchy red beard
and arms that looked like they were about to pop out of his starched
sleeves. He knew what effect his appearance could have, and used it to his
advantage when doing business, playing Ivan the Terrible and Old King Cole
by turns.  As a result, he was a shrewd and astute executive director, and
a major reason why Takeuchi Music had come so far in its first few years of
existence.  He took a personal interest in all his acts, allowing them just
as much artistic freedom as was still marketable.  He'd single-handedly
lifted such artists as Yusuke Amade and Nishio Toshiyuki to stardom.

        "Are you aware that you've started a frenzy out there?" he said,
clapping Yaten on the back and gesturing toward the wide blue window. 
"This may be the greatest marketing gimmick ever to hit the music business! 
Every girl in Tokyo is imagining that she's the lucky lady.  Doesn't matter
who you turn out to be, whether you're old, fat, and bald when you finally
appear--they're all in love with the mystery man behind the most romantic
Love Song they've never heard."

        "Really?"  Yaten turned a boyish grin toward the burly man, and
quickly suppressed it.  "That's good," he said in a bored tone, but his
eyes were sparkling.  "How are tickets selling?"

        "Faster and more furious than you can imagine, my boy," smiled
Taishi. "I'm telling you, this idea of yours is a goldmine!  Are you
absolutely sure you don't want to join my staff?"

        "I'm a musician," said Yaten, turning up his nose.  It was not the
first time he'd turned the offer down, and Taishi knew it wouldn't be the
last, but he felt it his duty to ask.  It had become something of a joke
between the two.  Continued Yaten, "I'm doing this for my own reasons.  Now
make sure they sell as many tickets as they can.  No one who wants to go to
this concert is going to get turned away, got it?   There's no such thing
as Sold Out.  Not for this.  Right?"

        Taishi chuckled.  "Calm yourself," he said, and Yaten realized with
surprise that he had crossed the room during that speech, and was now
glaring up at the executive, one finger pointed accusingly at him.  With a
half-smile and a strangulated noise, he shrunk back.  "Everything's going
according to plan, Yaten-san," reassured Taishi.  "Everything on my end, at
least."

        "What do you mean?"  Yaten looked jarred by this throwaway
statement.

        The other man shrugged.  "I just hope this venture is as successful
for you as it's going to be for us.  But there's no way to tell if your
lady love is really going to show.  She'd be a fool not to, but really...
will she?"  He left, and Yaten trembled.  Picking up his guitar, he
strummed a questioning chord at the empty room.

**

        Artemis yawned loudly.  It was twilight, and they had returned to
their favorite wall to munch on some sandwiches before heading home. 
Minako was surrounded by happily rustling shopping bags, and looked like
Cleopatra, sprawled amongst her trappings of luxury.  She smiled
contentedly and popped the last bit of dinner in her mouth.

        "Thanks for hanging with me today, Artemis," she said in a gentle
voice, looking down at him with a smile.

        "Mm, mm."  Artemis shook his head and swallowed.  "It was fun.  I'm
glad you're feeling better."  She sighed agreement, and there was a pause.
Artemis started again, hesitantly, "Ne, Mina-- any idea what changed?"

        Her eyes clouded and became distant-- bright, but distant.  "I'm
not sure," she said.  "I just feel... good today."  She stopped on the edge
of the next word, trying to find a more suitable way to explain it.

        "Well, that's good enough for me," grinned Artemis.  She abandoned
her almost-thought and smiled appreciatively.  "Shall we?"

        "Sure!"  Artemis hopped into the basket, and they started on their
way home.  Soon Minako was swinging her arms gaily and humming again, and
Artemis was hanging on tight, praying for his nine lives.

        Soon the horizon was the smoky red of early night in the city, and
a few faint stars prickled past the fog.  Minako turned a corner into a
well-lit but narrow alleyway that she often used as a shortcut.  She
continued her joyful humming, practically skipping down the lane, her head
angled up to the sky.

        Then Artemis felt everything go topsy-turvy, and he lost his
footing and tumbled from one end of the basket to the other.  The purse
lurched sickeningly in the basket, purse strings making wheeling arcs above
his head, then tightening like a noose around one of the poor cat's limbs. 
He tried to find his voice to yowl in alarm, but by then the basket had
flown far from Minako's arm and landed hard on the concrete.  No... it was
a puddle, for Artemis shivered at the coldness seeping up through the
wicker into his fur, a moment before he blacked out completely.

        "I'm sorry!   Your bags..." stammered a tenor voice frantically.

        Minako scrambled to her feet, looking behind her.  She gasped, and
ran back a few steps to grab her basket and a few stray shopping bags.  The
person she'd bumped into scrambled feverishly to gather up the rest.  "I'm
really sorry!"  Minako turned to take her things back, held out her free
hand, and stopped.

        "It's you!"  said Minako.

        "It's you!" said the other.

        Two blonde-haired figures stared at each other in the dimming
lamplight.

        Of course!  sang a small voice behind Minako's ear as she stared up
into Yaten Kou's pale face.  The morning's fluttering increased to a
pounding, and she became suddenly aware of every drop of blood rushing
through her body. Arms, legs, alive with motion.  Tiny capillaries dancing
beneath her skin. She instinctively touched her own arm, pinching it
slightly, then reached over to feel the cloth of his shirt.  Was it real? 
Was it real?

        "Have I ever told you that you're nuts?  Hanging out in an alley
like this, late at night," quipped Yaten, after taking a gulp of chilly
night air.

        She smiled and lowered her eyes, but felt compelled to raise them
again almost immediately.  As if he might disappear.  "You have told me
that, once," she said.  Her voice sounded low and surprisingly demure to
her. "What... what are you doing back here?"

        Yaten started to speak several times, but each time he paused and
fell back, deciding each answer was insufficient.  Finally, he stretched
his arms and placed his hands behind his head in a bored posture.  "What,
aren't you glad to see me?"  he said as slyly as he could.

        "Yes, oh, yes I am!"  she insisted, sounding rather more effusive
than she'd intended.  Again the silence seemed too long.  "Are-- are the
others with you?"  Her voice choked, aware she was intruding on the sacred
silence of a dark night and a lonely alley.

        "Nope," he answered.  "I came alone."

        This answer surprised her.  "Why would you..." she began.  Then a
shudder overtook her, and it was like a wash of golden light over
everything. Gone was her shyness, her stuttering.  Suddenly, she was the
smartest person in the world.  The enlightened one.  Damn, was she
brilliant!  She cracked a smile and winked.  "So... you're it!"

        Her sudden knowing, jubilant tone startled Yaten.  "I'm what?"

        "Of course!" she giggled, and went into a series of melodramatic
gestures.  "All right!  I, Aino Minako, now hold the answer to the
universe's greatest mystery!  Only an ace detective like myself could
figure it out.  I wonder who will pay me more to know this secret?  The
Emperor, or the President of the United States?  Maybe the Queen of
England... I met her once, you know..."

        Yaten watched her bubble about with an array of emotions like a
rainbow sweeping through him.  Finally, he deadpanned, "I really don't have
a clue what you're talking about."

        "SURE you don't."  Minako winked again, the grin on her face
wobbling as if it threatened to grow still larger and take over her chin
entirely. Yaten imagined her as a huge firefly, wings batting, in the
alley-- the light from the streetlamp was orange, but there was a
yellow-green haze all about her.  He let her name escape his lips.

        "?"  She stopped.

        "Please don't-- uh-- let anyone know I'm here, okay?" requested
Yaten in a shy voice.

        Her face softened.  "Sure."  Then brighter, "My god, it is SO good
to see you again, Yaten-kun!"  And she threw her arms around him.

        There are some points in outer space where the energy from various
surrounding stars radiates so strongly that the vacuum is transformed:
these places cease to be simple space.  Instead, they become energy
vertices, living hubs of heat and brilliance.  Earth's scientists don't
know about these nodes, but the scientists of Shinsei do.  And at that
moment, Yaten felt he was right in the center of such a nexus.

        Somewhere among the spangles of red and gold, Minako released him,
chirped a cheerful goodbye, and ran off on her way.  But it wasn't until
the last of her golden hairs disappeared at the other end of the alley that
Yaten felt the cool grays of night fall back into his life like a muslin
drape. His hands moved slightly, grabbing at air in the somehow suddenly
moving darkness.

**

        "Done!"

        Usagi grumbled.  Once more Minako had challenged her to a math
problem race, and once more Minako had won.  They'd done four problems this
afternoon, and Minako had not only beat her to the solution each time, but
amazingly enough, Ami had verified that all four answers were correct!  In
fact, the blue-haired genius was surveying Minako's problem now, and after
a few seconds she looked up and nodded smilingly at the group.  "Ohh, I
give up!" wailed Usagi, face contorted in a mix of frustration and despair.

        Minako slung her arm around the other girl.  "C'mon, Usagi-chan!"
she coached.  "Makenai!"  Usagi just whimpered into Minako's shoulder.  As
the rather forceful pep talk continued, the spectators hung their heads and
sighed.  Here they go again...

        "Well, guys," Minako said, turning so abruptly that Usagi fell over
sideways and ended up face to the floor, "It has been a major blast as
usual, but I gotta run.  Got some things to take care of at home, ya know. 
Ah, the life of a goddess of love and justice in her first year of high
school is sooo complicated!"  With a string of laughter that was more
squeaks than giggles, she floated to the screen door and slid it open. 
Each of the girls thought to themselves that her feet barely touched the
ground the whole way out.  After she was gone, a trail of giggles lingered
in the air, then silence descended.

        "WHAT was that," commented Rei flatly.

        "A whirling dervish," offered Makoto.

        "A Snow Dancer," suggested Luna.

        "A mirror paredory," giggled Ami, blushing.

        "Don't even go there," growled Usagi.

        The girls laughed heartily, but without the one-woman cheering
section, the conversation died soon after.  So the group parted for the
evening.  After everyone had left, Rei let out a long, exhausted sigh.
Grumbling, she bent forward, and started to brush the cookie crumbs off the
table when she heard a few familiar padding footsteps behind her.

        "Hora, Artemis!" she said, startled.  "I thought you had gone home
with Minako-chan!"

        The white cat shook his head.  "You don't walk in the path of a
tornado."

        "Say," grinned Rei with the wicked glint that she usually reserved
for Usagi.  "Do you have any idea what's gotten into her?  It's like Venus
is rising over the house of Psycho!"

        Artemis shrugged, as much as a cat can shrug, that is.  "Actually,
that was what I was going to ask you."

        Rei stopped short.  "Huh?" she gasped.  "Why would I know
anything?"

        "I was just wondering," frowned Artemis, "if you'd felt anything
strange lately.  Had any visions."  He gave her a questioning look, but she
continued to stare wordlessly back.  "Have you? ...Sensed anything
different?"

        Rei stared for a few more moments, then shook her head slowly.
"Nothing... evil," she started.  "Not really anything to be worried about.
Why?  Do you think something happened to her?"  Concern rose in her voice.
"Do you want me to do a fire reading?"

        "No," Artemis's brisk answer eliminated any such possibility. 
"It's nothing like that.  But listen, Rei-chan... don't tell the others I
talked to you, okay?"

        "Ya know," she giggled.  "I'm sure they're all thinking along the
same lines, Artemis.  Wouldn't be surprised if someone else asked me the
same things tomorrow."

        "I'm serious!" insisted Artemis.

        "I know, I know."  She flapped her hand dismissingly at him and
returned to her cleanup job.  "Go home, Artemis.  Minako's at the top of
her game right now.  Enjoy it.  She's the most fun when she's like this."

        "The most FRUSTRATING, you mean," Artemis corrected.

        Rei laughed.  "Yeah, that too."

        "Arigatou, Rei-chan," he said, and padded to the door.  Sunlight
tinted his white fur orange as he hopped outside and ran home to his
mind-boggling mistress Minako.  Rei paused to admire the lovely sunset,
shimmering and almost vibrating through the trees, before she finished her
work for the day.

**

        "That's a wrap."

        "Yess!"  Yaten allowed himself one moment of excitement, pushing
his fist up to the sky and pulling hard against air, sweat flying from his
matted bangs.  He got up from the piano bench and paced around the room
several times.  Pulling at his collar to let some cooler air caress his
skin, he looked up at the control booth and winked.  "Well done," he
called, and the fellows behind the glass mouthed the phrase back at him.

        This album was going so well!  Bent over a water fountain, Yaten
splashed the back of his neck before continuing on down the hall.  That was
the third single he'd finished this week, and at this rate, he'd have
nearly a whole week to prepare for the concert after the CD was done. 
Yaten was giddily happy, more than he ever remembered being.  He and the
others had started their music career as a cover, but Yaten had discovered
a deeper thrill to it, a slow stirring in his soul that quickened to the
pace of a heartbeat when he began to perform.  Even before, when he'd daily
barked at Seiya to keep his mind on their mission, he had dared to dream of
music for its own sake.  Being a musician.  As a career.  Not just a facade
for three alien warriors seeking their Princess.  He felt the fluttering
eagerness of a butterfly chaser, about to seize his elusive dream at long
last.  Please, don't let it be frightened and flit away.

        Mystery was the most important factor of the Love Song campaign, so
Yaten had gone to great lengths to ensure that no one knew he was back.  It
may have been merely by chance that he'd run into Minako in that maze of
alleyways he used to get home, but he'd resolved to be more vigilant from
now on in his nightly routine.  After a long day in the studio, he always
went out the back entrance, crossed over a few alleys and under a bridge,
and then followed a zigzag pattern of back roads until he came to the place
he was staying.  It was a hollow, frigid studio in the basement of a dance
school, very similar to the room they'd inhabited during their career as
the Three Lights.  The landlady knew of no music besides her beloved
Tchaikovsky, and was not likely to leak any information, but had still
confusedly promised not to talk to anyone about his stay there.  Cold as it
was there, he'd found the atmosphere ideal.  While students pounded above,
Yaten pondered below.

        Tonight, having finished his day's work, the ambitious Light walked
through the studio corridors toward the exit.  Cool night air blasted in
his face as he flung the doors open, and he closed his eyes to accept it. 
How good it felt after a day's worth of sweat!  He walked a few more steps
out into the sweet night, and stopped when he felt a strange heat somewhere
near his face.  Idly confused, he winked one eye open.

        There was a Space Sword pointed right at his throat.

        Yaten yelped and stumbled backwards, crashing into a pile of
garbage cans and sending a family of cats mewing off to find new shelter. 
Clutching his throat protectively, he slowly got up and turned blazing eyes
up to the duo confronting him.

        "What do you want here?" asked Sailor Uranus, steel glinting in her
eyes.  She brandished the Space Sword not aggressively, but firmly, as a
warning.  Half a pace behind her, Sailor Neptune turned a cool glance.  Her
arms were crossed, and she leaned ever so slightly against her partner's
back.

        Yaten coughed hard.  "And it's nice to see you, too," he wheezed,
still feeling as though he had a glowing blade at this throat.  Uranus
scowled him into submission.  He stumbled, met the soldier's gaze
trepidatiously, then more confidently, frowning.  The old defenses slid
jerkily into place. "Would you put that thing away and tell me what's going
on here?"

        Uranus pulled the sword back, but was reluctant to sheathe it.  "We
want some answers from you," she growled, glaring icicles in Yaten's
direction.  Yaten matched her gaze.  Finally, Neptune spoke up.

        "As the Sailor Senshi of the Outer Planets we must be aware of any
threat from beyond the solar system.  Kindly tell us why you have returned
to our planet."   Her words were polite, but their edges bit sharply from
those thin lips.

        Yaten stared, befuddled, at the sword, eyes fixed on the blade's
piercing yellow haze.  "I'd hate to think how you greet your enemies," he
muttered.

        The anger in Uranus's eyes was laced with a kind of dread, and that
made her all the more frightening.  "Yaten Kou."  She spoke the name
carefully.  "The last time you were here, it was to fight a powerful enemy.
If our planet is in danger again," she thrust the sword forward another
half-inch, "you must tell us."

        Yaten fought his way up, one hand clutching his throat as another
pressed hand against the brick wall.  Those green eyes opened and glinted
upward, bringing with them a strange smile on the face of the former Light.
Uranus readied herself.

        "Is everything a fight to you, Ten'ou-san?"

        Uranus faltered, the grip on her blade loosening... As if the odd
question wasn't enough, the polite tone threw her completely.  "Huh?"

        Yaten's palms were open and turned toward the two Sailors; he
tilted his head slightly down so that his eyes were looking up at them. 
His face was serious, but there was a slight smile in his eyes.  "There is
no threat," he said levelly.  "Not from me, nor from anything I am aware
of."  He paused. "I'm here for a different reason."

        As he spoke, Yaten's eyes grew distant.  Uranus scowled intensely,
and Neptune stood still in the background, her head bowed, green hair
falling over her eyes and obscuring her expression.  "We learned a lot here
on your world," he began gently.  "It became a kind of home to us when our
first home was destroyed.  We came to truly love it, this world.  And I...
I think I'd like this place to keep on-- being my home."  The blonde
warrior shifted uncomfortably.  "You see, I want to be a musician.  For
real.  And there's a certain song I want-- more than anything-- to sing. 
Boku no... Love Song."

        Three figures stood, statues in a cool night, burning flames of
stars in quiet shells.  A piece of paper freed itself from the toppled
trash cans. It did a series of somersaults across the alleyway, stuck fast
to the opposite wall for several moments, and then fell to earth silently. 
The Space Sword glowed a slight shade of red.

        Finally, the tableau was broken.  Uranus turned her head slightly,
sending her partner a silent question.  In response, Neptune cupped her
hands. A dim shade of green glowed like a firefly, and then a form took
shape.  The Aqua Mirror.  She held it gently, one hand gripping the handle,
the other cradling the back.  And falling into a state of utter
tranquillity, she willed it to answer her call.

        The surface fell into murky grayness, and then a tiny light
twinkledin the center.  It grew slowly, from a pinprick to a yellow star,
crystal and warm.  And Neptune restrained a small gasp as she saw another
symbol, one she recognized, rise in pink shades to join and enhance the
star's brilliance. She took this information into her cache of secrets,
tucking it into a tiny mental jewelbox to be treasured and kept.  And she
turned her mirror over. It faded into the symbol of the her planet, then
vanished.  She turned to Uranus with a placid face.  Yaten watched her
earnestly.  After what seemed to be hours of silence, she nodded.  And
smiled.

        The Space Sword's blade flickered and went out, the jeweled handle
dispersing into stardust a moment later.  "If you're lying," said Uranus
slowly,  "you'll regret it."  Then she met Yaten's gaze, and the relief and
acceptance he saw there made him release the breath he hadn't even known
he'd been holding in.  "But for now... we believe you."

        Uranus turned her back, but Neptune's gaze lingered.  Smiling just
slightly, she breathed, "Good luck."  She walked away, two silhouettes
fading into the night.  And Yaten felt the heat of the day's work slide off
his back like a leaf from a rooftop in a rainstorm.

**

        Life was just not fair, decided Yaten as he stomped down the
street. Of course the old lady would be completely out of juice on the same
morning the pipes were spewing brown water.  True, she had milk in the
refrigerator, but experience had taught the young singer that dairy
products don't mix well with a day's worth of voicework.  And Yaten
abhorred dry cereal, which was all Mother Hubbard had to offer.  So it was
with a rumbling stomach and a scratchy throat that Yaten set out for the
recording studio at six o'clock on this gray morning.

        Why did the air have to be so dry?  So cold this morning, too!  It
was like inhaling concrete.  Scowling, Yaten kicked a pebble in a patch of
dirt, hearing the refreshing clang as it hit an overturned garbage can. 
Alleyways and no breakfast.  This was quite a life.  He was peeved.  Fed
up. Frustrated.  And so very, very happy to be here.

        Grimacing to hide a sneaking smile, he looked up at the soupy
clouds. It really did feel so wonderful to be normal again.  No longer
constantly looking over his shoulder, clutching his henshin star so hard
that its spikes nearly pierced the flesh of his palm.  No longer playing at
idols, playing the game that had the dangerously annoying habit of feeling
all too real.  This time, it was.  No more pretense, no more secrets except
the one he planned to reveal soon.  And he could get annoyed at little
things, like the hovering of heavy clouds or the steady grumbling of his
stomach.  It felt good to let these nuisances grate on his nerves, without
being dismissed in favor of more-important-things.  He could enjoy life or
despise it, but no longer did he have to turn up his nose at it all.  It
was a beautiful new freedom.

        But his hunger and thirst themselves were not beautiful, he thought
with a groan, drawing a few stares from passersby in the hall of the
building he'd entered.  He wondered if the guys in the booth would toss him
a little something.  They always had the best food.  Of course, the techies
always had the best of everything-- highest pay, elite society, looking
down both literally and figuratively on the performers.  The teasing
rivalry between those on opposite sides of the glass amused Yaten to no
end.  His rebellious image had earned him points with the techies during
the era of the Three Lights, and they still remembered him now.  Surely he
could draw on them to get him some breakfast.  He nodded and turned the
doorknob of his practice room.

        "Morr-ning!"

        Yaten found himself face to face with a bagel.

        Of course, it wasn't the bagel that was speaking, although the
bagel did have an eye peeking through its hole... a blue, enthusiastically
blinking eye.  And another eye blinked through the nearly-transparent glass
at the neck of a bottle of orange juice, though the liquid splashed up and
obscured it slightly.  But no, the mouth that had spoken didn't seem to be
attached to any particular part of this floating buffet, and he finally
reasoned that there was a person holding the food and drink.  And she
frowned at him and said, "You can come down off the ceiling now, Yaten-kun. 
It's just me."

        Regaining his composure, Yaten coughed.  "Minako?? How did you get
in here?"

        "Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a girl on a mission,"
she said briskly, placing the bagel on a napkin that was spread out on the
back of the grand piano.  It was not the only thing she'd brought.  Beneath
a napkin, Yaten glimpsed some huge muffins and at least one danish in a
small basket. And there were cups, little paper plates, and a thermos-- a
veritable picnic on the piano.

        He blinked and scratched his head, puzzlement slowly brightening
into delight all through him.  "What mission is that?"

        "To surprise you with some breakfast, of course!" she giggled.
"Boy, are you dull.  How you came up with this mystery singer thing is
beyond me." He started to protest, but she somehow appeared behind him and
pushed him--hard-- toward the "tabletop".  "Now eat, eat, c'mon.  Don't
tell me you already had breakfast!"

        Her giddiness was punching through him, and he shook his head,
mustering his usual empathetic defenses so that her joy wouldn't knock him
over completely.  "Why'd you bother to do this?" he said, voice conveying
annoyance but trembling on the verge of laughter.

        "Why not?" she shrugged, grinning in the sudden stream of golden
light.  Yaten caught his breath.  The sun had risen just far enough to send
a single slender ray through the fourth floor window, and its edge caught
on a warp in the glass, reflecting blinding white brilliance up through
Yaten's line of sight.  So what he saw of Minako, dimly visible in the
golden corners of his white world, was magical for that moment.  Golden
hair in golden light. Still, it might have not affected him at all, if it
wasn't for that persistent grin.  Not even dazzling sunlight could block
its gleam from his vision. And suddenly every annoyance of the morning was
a rapidly fading memory.

        A muffin later, Minako asked, "So how's the album coming?"

        "Really well," said Yaten in between bites.  "I wouldn't be
surprised if we wrapped this week.  Can I have a little more orange juice? 
...Ah, you saved my life.  How'd you know what I liked?"

        "A hunch," she shrugged.  "And a little common sense."

        "Common sense?"

        "I brought what I liked to eat before I went off to an audition.
Substantial, no milk, ya know..."

        "Oh, that's right, you're a singer too," Yaten snapped his fingers
at the realization, sending a few caked crumbs into flight.

        Minako blushed.  "Well, I sing," she said.

        Something about this new piece of knowledge had gotten Yaten very
excited.  "That's right, you're good, too.  Want to do a track for my
album?"

        Heat crawled in Minako's toes, and then shot up, prickling through
her entire body.  Her fair skin glowed pink.  "...Me...?" she stuttered,
the queen of bouncing boldness suddenly stiff and paralyzed.  When Yaten
nodded, she lowered her eyes.  "N... no thanks," she said in a muted voice.

        "Doshita?"  He stared at her through glassy eyes.  Was this the
same girl who'd lectured him so thoroughly about her idol dreams?  She'd
folded inward, like a frightened bird under the protective cover of its
ruffled feathers.  And he couldn't reach out to touch her feelings anymore.
This star he'd once been able to read completely!  Or maybe he'd never been
able to read it at all.  He backed off.  "O-- okay," he said, shrugging. 
"Just thought I'd ask."

        Almost immediately, she shook her head vigorously and grinned.
"Iie. I just decided... I think, right now, I'd rather hang with my friends
for a while.  I mean, you told me, once, that I do have what it takes..."
her eyes were soft now, and he felt a strange, isolated desire to touch her
hand-- "...and maybe that's all I need right now, to know that I could do
it, if I wanted to.  You know?"  He did.

        A few clouds had parted, and shafts of light shifted in the room.
Silence persisted for a moment.  "Uh..." Yaten drew a syllable to fill the
space, and finally formed a question.  "So, speaking of friends, how is
everyone?"

        "They're good, they're good!"  The color was back in her star, and
Yaten floated on its carefree glitter.   "Except, Rei-chan had a fight with
Yuuichirou-- oh, that's right, you never met him!  Well, she's on a major
boy hunt now.  Usagi-chan's totally ecstatic that Mamoru-san's staying
around a while, and she's working on her parents so that next year, they'll
let her..."

        Yaten smiled and drank in the gossip, touching Minako's bubble-like
feelings gently in one mental hand.  He felt like he was caressing her,
softly, barely, without touching her.  And he had a sense of being
comfortable and utterly content.  Still listening, he meandered over to the
keyboard and let his fingers wander across the keys.  A lingering melody
accompanied Minako's words.  As it floated, her voice took on a sort of
melody too, lilting in an unconscious dance with the piano notes trickling,
no, now pouring forth.  And as if choreographed, Yaten's hands came to rest
on a single chord as she leaned forward onto the piano, winked, and said,
"So, that's the scoop!"

        "So you guys have been busy," he commented, the bored tone
trickling back into his voice, but not so much that she was concerned by
it.

        She nodded.  "It's so good to have peace," she glowed.  "We haven't
had to fight since, knock on wood," (and she did), "and we can concentrate
on all the little things."

        "Like music," he finished her sentence without realizing it, and
looked down at the waiting keyboard.

        "Or..." Minako stopped short.  Yaten blinked up at her.

        Her squeal could have brought down the building.

        "...SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"


        Never had so fast a whirlwind moved through the city of Tokyo.  In
a flash, the piano was cleaned up, the remaining muffins were in the basket
and set on the windowsill, and Minako was putting on a jacket and
rearranging her hair while making her way to the door.  "I'm so late, I
totally forgot about the time, I'll see you later Yaten-kun, byeee!" 
Another gust of wind, and she was gone.

        Yaten chuckled and stretched.  The room was silent, but the strains
of the melody he'd improvised were still humming through his head.  "Thanks
for the song," he said.  And he sat down at the piano to play it.

**

        She was back again after school, and he grinned at the sight of her
bouncing hair making its way down the hall.  Turning his back and twisting
his face up, he said in English, "Do I know you?"  To his great surprise,
he responded with a much better accent, "You don't fool me!"  He deflated
and sighed, and she patted him on the back with words of encouragement
delivered in a tone halfway between a sermon and a military drill.  It
quickly degenerated into a staring contest until one of the producers
passed by and scowled quite frighteningly.  Minako and Yaten bristled like
a pair of alleycats.

        Another day, he heard a twanging noise behind his door and
discovered her plucking at one of the guitars leaned up against the wall. 
She grinned, reddened, and insisted, "Don't you think I could play this
thing?"  He ran a hand through his silvery hair and gritted his teeth.

        Minako brought him candy, newspapers with stories on the Musical
Mystery, and an array of smiles which he collected in a mental album. 
Every so often he'd surprise her, having set up his room or rigged his door
in a way that when she came bounding through (never knocking), he'd get the
upper hand. Depending on the surprise, she'd scream or shriek, mouth
turning into a giant crescent of horror or joy, her eyes seeming to change
shape with it.  And after the gigglefits had subsided in both of them,
they'd talk about dreams and friends, rays of fiery sun touching them in
turn as specks of dust floated in the afternoon air.

        One day she popped in on him just as he was about to start a
recording session, and she begged him to let her sit and listen.  "Nope,"
he shook his head firmly, "not gonna happen."  She alternately pleaded,
demanded, and batted her eyelashes furiously, but he stood there with his
arms folded across his chest and eyes pointed downwards, frowning.  She
pulled at his arm, and he raised his eyes slightly to the rush of warmth. 
She blinked.  He felt his heart jump back about ten feet.  Her hands
remained pressed against his sleeve.

        Just then, a techie came by.  "Are we going to start, or what,
Yaten-san?" he demanded.  "We're recording the last song you know, r..."

        "The title track," Yaten hastily cut in, the moment broken.  "I
know, I know."

        "The TITLE TRACK?" Minako squealed, eyes full of stars.  "Oh, come
on, I want to know!"

        Yaten turned away from her and walked a few paces as she followed
him. Even with his back to her, he knew the huge pathetic eyes she was
giving him.  "Forget it," he said, smirking.

        "Onegai?"

        "Nope."

        "O--ne-gai?"

        "It's a SECRET, remember?"  He turned back to her with a wink, and
she pouted.

        As he walked into the recording studio, she shouted to his back,
"Oh yeah?  Well I already know ONE secret.  So I'll figure this one out! 
You bet! Don't even TRY to keep it a secret from me.  You'll see!  I'll
find out!" Honestly.  As if he thought he could keep anything from her! 
That man, really!  She knew him inside and out!

        So when he turned back and scowled, saying "You better not" in a
somber voice, it stunned her.

**

        "When I was a kid," Yaten said as they sprawled on the floor of the
studio one gray lunch hour, "we used to have races around the castle
corridors on rainy days.  All the grownups hated it."  He squinted into the
harsh fluorescent light and tilted his head back.  Minako propped up her
chin with two hands, lying on her stomach, long flowery skirt spread out in
wrinkled pleats all over the floor.  "Seiya always won.  I was terrible."

        "You were?" she said lazily, sucking on a grape.

        "Hated that stuff.  Still do," he snorted.  "Hated getting sweaty.
Actually," and he cocked his head at this, "I used to run into people on
purpose, so we would get caught and sent to our rooms."  He chuckled
amusedly, and she echoed with a small giggle.  "If you ever see them again,
don't tell 'em!"  His voice dropped to a stage whisper.

        "Hmmm."  She let out a long sound.  "Another one of your deep dark
secrets, I see."

        He laughed.  "Yeah.  Loved rainy days, though.  When I could get a
moment to myself, it was great to sit by a window and write."


        "Write?"  she echoed.

        "Yeah.  Thoughts, stories, memories.  I kept a journal. 
Surprised?"

        Minako shrugged.  "A little.  You don't surprise me much anymore,
though.  I think I've got you down pretty well."

        He sniffed snobbily.  "Says you."

        "Mm, hm!"  All of a sudden she was sitting up straight, and he
leaned back as she drew her shoulders in close.  "That's it," she teased, 
"I know almost all your secrets, pretty boy, and I'm going to know them all
before I'm through.  You can't hide from Detective Minako, no sir!  So
don't even try to keep it from me!"

        Laughing openly, he winked an eye.  "And what, pray tell, am I
keeping from you?"

        The answer came before his words had faded from the air.  "Your
Love Song."

        Stormclouds passed over his features.  "Minako..." he began.  "It's
a secret."

        "So what?"  Her pout was like that of an injured animal.  "So is
your identity, Mister Mystery, and I figured that out!"

        "Luck, luck."  He waved his hand dismissingly, but his look was
nervous.

        She frowned.  "Was not.  It was kismet, Yaten-chan," adding the
endearment teasingly, "fate, karma, destiny.  And you shouldn't mess with
destiny."

        He did not like the way this conversation was going.  "Don't mess
with my project," he warned.  A sudden bite to his words made her sit back,
pause, and then lean in toward him.

        "...I am going to find out."  She pressed emphasis on each word,
and Yaten shrunk from her gaze.  Her eyes were blazing with a sudden
intensity that both scared and thrilled him.  But...

        His hands came down like vises on her wrists.  "No, you're not," he
said in a voice like quiet steel.  She drew back, wounded, and stared at
him, nursing her reddened wrists.  The thundering in his ears was
staggering, and despite his best efforts, all he could do was sit and
maintain his stern expression as she slowly got up.

        "Well," she said briskly, though her limbs were still shaking.
"You've got to get back to work now."

        He started.  "Minako--"

        "Really!"  She smiled, but Yaten was feeling such trembling from
her star, he wasn't fooled.  "Can't keep all those fans waiting.  Go and
practice!"  She babbled her way to the door, yammering on so that he
couldn't interject a single phrase before she disappeared.  He cursed and
kicked a chair.  Something was going horribly wrong!

**

        "Ne, ne," came a musical voice.  Tohru looked up from the control
board and beheld a goddess.
 
        Blonde hair sparkling in a luminescent cloud, the girl approached
him, her figure swaying.  Azure eyes peeked out from behind long lashes,
blinking just a little too often to be unconscious.  She came up to him and
leaned forward, resting her elbows on the panel and giving him quite a view
of...well, he couldn't even think about it.  Tohru tried desperately not to
look at the sight she offered him, but despite his modesty, the blood was
already rushing uncomfortably to his head.  He wiped his nose defensively,
relieved that it wasn't bleeding quite yet.

        Minako smiled inwardly.  She'd considered a number of different
approaches.  Impersonating a member of the staff was a good idea, but this
was a small project, and this guy might well know everyone working on it.
Briefly, she'd considered enlisting a friend go in for her, but thrown that
idea out almost immediately.  She didn't want her friends in on this, her
beautiful little secret that kept her missing in action for afternoons at a
time.  No, this method was definitely where her... talents... lay.  It was
really a burden, being so beautiful!  "What are you doing?" she asked in
her best ingenue voice, widening her eyes and pouting slightly.

        Tohru stuttered.  "Uh, I'm-- um-- working on the mix for the
album."

        "Ooooh," she sighed, leaning further forward and causing Tohru to
gulp and look away in embarrassment.  "Is that Yaten-kun's album?"

        "Er, yeah," he stammered.  "You're his friend, uh, right?"

        "Un," she nodded.  "Can I listen?"  She let doubt flicker across
his face, then delivered the lethal blow.  "Pleeeeeease?"  Against an
attack like that, Tohru had no hope of survival.  Swallowing hard, he took
the headphones off his head and handed them over.  Minako made a show of
putting them on and adjusting them over her own ears, closing her eyes and
humming contentedly. When her eyes slitted open again, Tohru flipped the
switch.


        She kept the smile on her face, but frowned inwardly.  She knew
this song.  It was one of the songs Yaten had sung on the original Three
Lights album.  A nice song, and Yaten's voice had improved a great deal
since his days with the group, but definitely NOT the Love Song she was
looking for. She stared at the hapless sound technician again.  "Will you
do me a lit-t-tle favor?" she drawled.

        He just stared, having a vague feeling he was being jerked around
but not really caring.

        "Will you play for me... the Love Song?"

        Tohru reached for the track select button.

        A slam sounded from below in the studio, and both Minako and Tohru
jumped.  Looking through the glass, they saw a rather annoyed Yaten Kou
stomping in and examining his sheet music intently.  "Now what's the matter
with him," Tohru wondered out loud, gazing down at the studio floor for a
few seconds.   Then he looked up at his guest, or at least tried to.

        She was gone.

**

        "Tsukino resid... oh, hi, Minako-chan!  Wow, you haven't come to
Rei-chan's in ages.  Where have you been keeping yourself? ...What do you
mean, a secret?

        "Huh? What would I do?  Er, I'd just ask them, I guess.  ...Well,
I'd ask them again the next day!

        "Hmm... I don't know.  I'd have to think about it... over a hot
fudge sundae and maybe an arcade game or two, yeah, that's what I'd do.  In
fact, I think I'll make Mamo-chan treat me to some ice cream, and then I'll
call you back! ...Hello?  Minako-chan?  Are you there?"

        "Hello, Hino residence.  ...Where have you been!?  Even Artemis
still comes to the study sessions, and he says he doesn't know where you
disappear to after school.  ...Huh?  That's a weird question, Minako-chan. 
Well, I'll tell you if you tell me where you've been lately.

        "Fall for what? ...Who, me?  Try and trick you?  Well, okay, maybe
I would.  But that's your answer, I guess.  If someone was keeping a secret
from me, I'd definitely try something sneaky to make them tell me.  What is
this about, anyway? ...Hello?"

        "Mizuno residence.  Oh?  What is it?  ...Minako-chan, I don't
believe you! You haven't come to a single study session in the past week,
and you're asking me a favor?  Studying should be your first priority, you
know...

        "WHAT!?  I am not going to hack into someone else's computer system
for you!"

        "Hello?  ...Oh, hold on, Minako-chan, let me just get these
brownies out of the oven...

        "Hi, sorry 'bout that.  What's up?  ...Advice?  Does this have
something to do with a boy?  What do you mean, maybe?  Oh, forget it, just
tell me what's going on.

        "A secret, hmm? Well, is this boy small enough that you can push
him around? ...Eep, don't shriek in my ear, Minako-chan.  I didn't mean
that it HAD to be a boy.  I was just making a generalization.  No, really! 
Hmm, no, I suppose you don't like to back people into corners.  Want me to
do it for you? Sorry!

        "Well, I don't know.  I might try and bribe them with some goodies.
Oh, wait.  Minako-chan, if you really want to get a secret out of someone,
do me a favor... DON'T bake for them.  No, it's just that they might not
live long enough to tell you what you want to know...

        "Augh!  I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

**

        Furueru mune ni wa, ano hi no himitsu no kiss...
        [Trembling in my heart is the secret kiss that day...]

        Yaten paused, black ink slowly spreading across the page where his
pen was pressed a little too firmly against the paper.  Those lyrics seemed
familiar, somehow-- he was reasonably sure he'd heard them somewhere
before. He crumpled the page in his left hand and tossed it aside. 
Frowning, he turned back to his notebook.

        Upstairs, he heard the flick of switches and he knew the dance
school was closing for the night.  The janitor's heavy mop had provided a
heavy, plodding rhythm that had lulled Yaten into a kind of trance, but
when it stopped its shuffling, an uncomfortable silence descended.  The
flow of creativity had stopped abruptly, bringing him back to full
consciousness.

        Cold, as always, he thought with a shiver.  He pulled the blanket a
little tighter around his shoulders and blew on his cupped hands.  As a
musician, he knew about silences.  But this was not the relaxing quiet of
that time just before sleep, nor was it peaceful as moments of tranquility
could be.  This was the kind of silence that heightened a song, leaving
something unresolved hanging in the air for just a little too long.  A
silence that begged to move, that begged to be broken.  And Yaten was its
prisoner.

        He stood up, paced, sat back down, drew tiny squares on the open
page of the notebook.  It must have been after ten o'clock.  His squares
turned into circles, which turned into eyes.  He got up again.  Pace, pace. 
The eyes looked up.  Down.  He was aware of his head pounding, not hurting,
just making some noise in the dead air.  He looked at the pile of crumpled
papers on the floor.  The eyes looked at him.  He flipped a few pages back,
forcing those probing stares behind their paper eyelids, and surveyed the
song lyrics he'd written.  They were good.  Good enough to use in the
concert, even.  He resolved to add them if the crowd was receptive.

        Something was wrong.  Different.  After a long and exhausting day,
he usually dropped off to sleep quickly, and awoke early.  Did not matter
whether the day was good or bad, if it was busy-- and his days always
were-- he'd be asleep in minutes.  But it had been an hour.  Two?   He
tried to look at his watch in the dim glare of the single naked bulb
glowing in this basement room.  Everything was bluish in its light.   His
eyes failed to register the exact time.  Late o'clock, he noted
disjointedly.  Maybe two, because it was too late o'clock.

        He grabbed his jacket.  There was no way he could stay here a
minute longer.  It was dry, dry, and there were showers falling elsewhere. 
Sweet, cool, green showers.  Hardly registering anything he was doing,
Yaten walked up the dark steps and ventured out into the late night.

        His world was surreal.  It wouldn't be till later that he realized
he'd walked the complex route to the studio at Takeuchi Music.  Now, he
just felt he was a man in a dark, cold desert, following the promise of
water to an oasis somewhere else in this giant laboratory maze.  A thirsty
mouse.  He clenched a fist and realized there was no longer a pen in his
hand, but a key. The key to the back entrance of the studio.  He must have
picked it up on his way out.  He inserted it into the lock that was
suddenly right in front of him.

        Ah, now these walls reverberated with rhythm, even in the silence
of the night.  He felt vaguely uneasy, as if something was amiss.  But it
was warm, and he accelerated his footsteps toward the practice room he
called his own, where he kept all of his projects.  The doorknob was warm
to the touch. He opened it.

        And all the vague premonitions and vibrating warnings snapped into
immediate focus.

        Yaten was now completely awake, gasping for breath but unable to
fill his lungs with air.  He felt like a statue, and at the same time like
he'd been slammed against a brick wall.  His eyes and lips quivered with
horror, and betrayal splashed the walls of the small room blood red.  A
single thought yawned through the cavern of his mind.

        No.

        Panicking, Minako tried to blind him with the flashlight and run.
But her eyes were suddenly wet, and she couldn't see.  She tripped over a
chair and crashed to the floor, the impact shaking some of the loose papers
on the bureau to the floor.  Swearing, she tried to straighten up and
escape the evidence that was lying all around her.  One black-gloved hand
rose to her face in shame and agony.

        She'd been going through his papers.  Yaten wheeled on the axis of
this realization like a broken record endlessly replaying a scratch that
warped the melody.  She'd come here, dressed up like a catburglar, and
gotten into his room so she could go through his papers.  His friend had
done this. Or the person he'd called a friend.  "Why?" came the whisper
from his pursed lips, and even before the sound had escaped, he knew the
answer.

        Minako felt hot streams of tears on her cheeks.  Her knee throbbed
painfully from the impact of the fall.  Stinging eyes couldn't tear
themselves away from Yaten's face, even paler than it normally was, thin
and quivering with shock.  She'd driven a knife straight through him.  Her
hands felt hot, as if there was actually a dagger in her grasp, blood
slipping to the ground in sticky red lines.  She wanted to hang her head,
but the defiance in the base of her chest kept her sitting up straight,
burning into his frozen eyes.

        "I thought... we were friends," he whispered, squeezing the words
out with painful pressure from his deflated chest.  His jaw trembled.

        She glared up at him.  "I thought we were too," she said in a low,
heated voice.

        "How..." the anger in her tone registering in his mind, "how could
you do this to me?"

        Grasping the chair tightly, she fought her way up to a standing
position.  No way was he going to look down on her during this battle.
"You're the one," she gritted her teeth, "who had to keep secrets from me."

        The tears building up behind his eyes burst forth in a flood.  "I
thought you understood!"

        "How?"  Her voice accused him.  Him, who'd found her sneaking
around like a common thief!  "How can I understand it when you refuse to
tell me the one thing I want most to know?"

        "You know why!" he shouted.  "I thought you respected me as an
artist! I had my reasons!"

        "I thought you respected me, as a person!"  Shouting escalated to
screeching, and then wobbled back down to the heated fire of low breaths.
"I really thought... that we were... that you were starting to share things
with me."

        Breaths were hard to come by.  "I was.  I did..."

        "You did."

        "Just not that.  Just not that."

        "Why?  Why that?  Why couldn't you tell me?  Was it just to drive
me crazy, so I could sleep at night wondering?"

        "...No, no," he interrupted, his whole body trembling with his
voice. "It wasn't that..."  Furueru mune ni wa, sang a sudden voice in his
mind, and he smashed it violently, howling.  "Why couldn't you trust me?"

        "That's what I want to know!"  she wailed.  Pain soared like a high
note on an electric guitar.  "Why didn't you tell me?  Why was it such a
secret?"

        Ano hi no himitsu no...

        He gnashed his teeth in an effort to make the song go away.  Nails
bit into the flesh of his clenched fist.

        "Well, fine!"  she sobbed.  "If you don't want me to know, then
that's just fine!   But don't expect me to wait around to find out like the
rest of the world.  I just don't care anymore!"  She limped toward the
door.  Every nerve in Yaten's body wanted to grab her as she shuffled past
him with hurt and anger in her eyes.  But every paralyzed muscle protested. 
"Have a good concert tomorrow night, Yaten," she said in a frigid voice. 
"Maybe I'll come to your next one."

        For what was not the first time in his life, Yaten Kou found
himself facing the door of an empty room.

**

        "Mako-chan!  Mako-chan!"  Pound, pound, pound.  "C'mon, Mako-chan,
wake up.  I know you're in there!"

        Behind the door, muffled grumblings sounded, and then a series of
clicks near the keyhole.  The face that appeared when the door finally
cracked open was haggard and confused.  "What on earth, Minako-chan?  Do
you know what time it is?"  Then the green eyes widened at the sight of the
girl's sorrowful countenance.  "...Come in."

        Minako took a trembling step into the apartment, then another, and
Makoto watched her teeter like a china doll on the verge of falling from
the mantel and smashing on the bricks below.  She caught the blonde in her
strong arms, and Minako drooped against her like a soggy leaf of paper.
"Mako-chan..." she wept, her wails coming long and loud and full of
heartbreak.  Makoto led her to the table and sat her down, still holding
her in a supportive embrace.

        "Let it out," she soothed as Minako's long sobs shook and bruised
against her shoulder.  "That's it.  Let it out, girl.  It's all right." 
She stroked the blonde yards of hair draped over Minako's back.  "It's all
right."

        They sat there, Minako's head buried in the taller girl's shoulder,
for a long time.  The clock ticked and tocked the minutes away, a metronome
maintaining the movement of time when all else stood frozen.  A slight wind
blew against the door to the apartment, harshly breathing warnings of a
rainstorm to come.  Makoto closed her eyes.  All was still.

        After some time, Minako's wailings softened to gentle sobs; sobs to
tremblings; and tremblings to brief sniffles that came every few seconds,
as she gulped for air.  Finally, she straightened up, and Makoto released
the girl from her embrace, holding one of her hands as the other wiped away
errant tears and rubbed at splotchy skin.  Minako heaved several tremulous
sighs, gave a final choking sob, and then swallowed hard, shutting her eyes
tight. As she opened them again, she gave a shaky smile.  "Arigatou..."

        "Are you okay, Minako-chan?"  Makoto knew better than to ask more
than that.

        "Un..." she nodded.  The red flush to her cheeks made her beautiful
in the grayness.  "Mako-chan, is it okay if I stay here tonight?"

        "Of course, of course," Makoto said, soothingly, touching the
blonde's face gently.  "Let me get some sheets for you, okay?"

        Minako nodded, swallowing several times.  Makoto's touch could be
so maternal, she already felt a warmth begin to thaw the freezing rain in
her heart.  With a cup of herbal tea, the rest of the rain gave way to
drowsy heat, and she lay down on the couch, hugging the quilt Makoto had
brought to her chest, breathing regularly for the first time in hours.

        Makoto kneeled by her side.  "You just sleep.  Call me if you need
anything, okay?"  The girl nodded.  "And in the morning..." she added in a
measured voice, "...if you want to... you can talk to me.  Goodnight,
Minako-chan."  She smiled and left the exhausted girl to doze.

**

        Yaten's eyes crept open, much to his displeasure.  The first thing
he noticed was that there was light, despite the grayness outside the
window. It seemed to be coming from above him, or behind him.  Then,
wrinkling his nose, his face and mind started to come alive... with aching
in his neck and stinging behind his eyes, and a feeling of overall
unpleasantness.

        It was a few more moments before Yaten realized he had fallen
asleep in the studio, that he had never made it back to his room last
night. Sitting up in the chair he'd slept in, he stretched his arms
painfully, rotated his neck, and brought his fists down to rest on the desk
in front of him.  Ouch. His shoulders cracked as he rolled them back.

        The dull light was so painful to his throbbing head, and he
staggered to the wall to turn it off.  The room fell immediately into
shades of gray, a dull patch of light from the window the only
illumination.  The room's corners were black and ominous.  After rubbing
his eyes thoroughly to get the residue of a bad night's sleep out, he sat
in one of those corners and watched rain pelt mutely against the
windowpane.

        What had happened here... had happened after all, he thought, and
the dryness of his eyes stung so hard that he had to rub them again.  The
place seemed cursed, and he wanted to run away from it... if only his body
would agree.  But as horrible as it was to think of it all, it was also
draining... the energy to escape just was not there.

         He cleared his throat.  His voice was so boyish, he thought with a
pang of disgust.  Boyish and breathy and not a good singer's voice at all.
Throb, throb, went his head, and he dropped it into his hands.  How had he
been doing this all this time?  How could he think he'd succeed?

        Now, at least, the scratching of his eyes began to give way to a
thin layer of liquid.  Looking down, he sighed inwardly at the relief of
having them fill with tears that then slid down his cheeks and into his
mouth.  At their wonderfully salty taste, his tongue curled, and his
stomach rumbled in answer.  The prodding need of hunger brought him slowly
prickling back into the real world, and he got to his feet, lumbering like
a dinosaur as he straightened up.  He opened the door hesitantly.

        The world was swirling back and forth, and Yaten nearly fainted.
The bright lights of the halls were all on, and people were running back
and forth with clipboards and instruments and briefcases and masks of
panic.  Shouting rang out.  "Get me Hisakawa on the phone..." "..not going
to..." "...We've got to do something about this right away..." "...damn it! 
We can't..." "Move it, come on, we don't have all day!"  Like a blind man
in a traffic jam, Yaten stumbled forward a few paces, taking it all in but
not understanding any of it.  Until a roaring voice rang through like a
rumble of thunder. "Yaten-san!"

        Yaten looked up, bleary-eyed, and recognized the familiar red
beard. "Taishi-san...?"

        "My god, man, where have you been?"  The veins in Taishi's neck
were uncomfortably pronounced.  Yaten stared at them with a kind of
grotesque fascination.  "Have you been hiding in that damn room all day?"

        "All... day?"  Yaten echoed in disbelief.

        "Never mind," said Taishi, slinging an arm around the confused boy.
"You've got to get down to the Forum, now!"

        Somehow or other, Taishi managed to usher Yaten into a car, and it
was several slick streets before the batting of the rain on the windowpane
woke Yaten up.  "Tai... shi-san," he yawned slowly, as the blood rushed to
his head.  All at once, his eyes popped open.  "Oh!  What time is it? 
Where are we going?"

        "It's five-thirty," Taishi growled, looking slightly peeved but
mostly concerned.  "And your concert starts at eight, remember?  Now come
on, we're here, get out of the car."  Yaten obeyed, shaking his head back
and forth in confusion and disbelief.

        Crewmen walked by with ladders.  A voice echoed lighting and sound
cues, and microphone feedback screeched through the auditorium as purple
and yellow spots flashed blindingly.  Yaten moved in and out of the
backstage latticework, still shaking his head.  Taishi followed a few steps
behind, occasionally barking an order at a passing lackey, but mostly
gazing at his charge with a worried expression on his round face.  Around
the scaffolding Yaten went, trailing his hand over it, and then out to the
stage, where he paused at the edge, staring out into the endless rows of
seats and even more endless arenas where the audience would stand, packing
as many people into one space as possible.  Huge TV screens hung from the
ceiling on steel cables, matched by a multitude of video cameras pointed at
the stage.  White light flooded his eyes, and for a moment Yaten was sure
he could hear the crowd cheering.  But this time, Seiya and Taiki were not
beside him.  And he felt an intense pang of loneliness.  How could he have
done this, all by himself, with no support from anybody?

        That's not true, warned an inner voice.  You had support.  Don't
you remember?

        ("I shall pray for you and miss you daily, as will the others, and
all our people," said the Princess, smiling benevolently.  "Know that we
will always be here for you if you need a home, and that you will never
lose your place in our hearts.")

        The faraway Princess.  His eyes filled with tears again... how
could there be so many tears in him?  The last time he had been on this
stage, they were searching for her.  And now he was alone again.

        ("Everything's going according to plan, Yaten-san," reassured
Taishi. "Everything on my end, at least... I just hope...")


        A man whose star he felt dimly behind him, who had become a mentor
and almost friend.  Yaten knew he was worrying him, and that he had a lot
of explaining to do.

        ("You guys are amazing, don't you know that!?")

        The smile that had begun to light the crevices of Yaten's face
faded again.  And the bitterness rose in his throat...

        "I'm not going to do it," he scowled, turning around abruptly and
starting to walk off.  Taishi started to call out, but the cry caught,
choked and strangled, in his throat.  Yaten moved as fast as he could,
hearing his shoes slap against the wooden slats of the stage and echo
through the microphones into the empty auditorium.  All of a sudden, all
the bustling technicians seemed silent.  He didn't care.  The bitterness in
his chest was wailing a song loud enough for him.

        Then, his arms were trapped, and he was walking nowhere at an angry
pace.  Taishi had overtaken him, and was holding him down with huge bear
hands.  "Let me go!"  Yaten struggled, but the vise-like grip just grew
tighter.

        Taishi stared him down.  "Where the hell do you think you're
going?" His voice was threatening in its low intensity.

        "I told you!"  Yaten rebelled.  "I'm not going to do it!  Now let
me go!"

        The growling tone was steady and slow.  "Not until you listen to
reason.  Now calm down and tell me what on Earth is going on with you,
Yaten-san.  I've invested millions of dollars in your concert here tonight,
and you're not backing out without giving me a damn good reason!"

        After a moment or two of continued struggling, Yaten calmed and
relaxed in Taishi's grip.  The bigger man let go, and Yaten hung his head
and sighed.  "Sumimasen, Taishi-san," he said in a voice thick with regret.
"But I don't think I can do this concert."

        Taishi leaned back.  "What happened?"
 
        "Something..."  Yaten's gaze darted about suspiciously.  "Something
happened."

        "Oh," the executive sighed in sudden understanding.  "It was her,
huh?"

        Yaten nodded.  Despite their sour taste, the words fought
themselves to his throat.   And when they emerged, he was surprised to hear
them. "She's..."  hearing himself say it made him shudder!  "...not...
coming."

        Masaka.  He'd expected to spit out a bitter tirade about her
betrayal, how she had violated his trust and his privacy.  But when the
syllables struck his ears, he knew they couldn't be more true.  That was
the real betrayal. That was the ruination of everything he'd worked so hard
for.  After all this, she wasn't coming.

        A long siren note of feedback swept across the microphones and
shook them both.  Yaten was sure he felt a fist clenched in his heart,
squeezing a stone, bringing everything inside him to an abrupt tension. 
"I'm so angry," he said, his voice breaking.  "I'm so angry!!"  His shout
set the mikes off again, and Taishi winced.  "I want to smash something so
badly.  I'm so frustrated.  I want to..."

        "You want to..." echoed the red-haired man in a voice suddenly soft
and even.

        "I want to scream!  I want to pound!  How could this happen to me?"
Without even realizing it, Yaten had started to punch and kick the air, in
a kata that became a kind of dance.  Taishi watched as fist and foot flew
forward, as the singer's lithe body became a spectacular weapon.  The sweep
of an arm.  The stamp of a foot.  It was merciless.  It was pain
personified. But it was beauty.

        "I feel like if I don't let it out, I'm going to explode!"  cried
Yaten, rage giving way to endless folds of deep sadness.  "God, it hurts so
much... I want to..."

        Once more, Taishi said, "You want to..."

        Yaten's body came to a standstill.  Huge, pale green eyes opened
wide. "I want to..."  He gulped at the realization, and gazed at Taishi in
wonder. The smile started to emerge again.  "I want to... sing."

**

        Cookie after cookie disappeared off Makoto's tray as crumbs
assembled like the aftermath of war on the tabletop.  After putting away a
dozen or so, Minako sat back.  "Are you sure you don't mind?"

        The chef smiled.  "That's why I made them.  Besides, a girl who
sleeps all day has got to be hungry when she finally wakes up.  Let me know
if there's anything more I can get to."

        "Thanks so much, Mako-chan.  You're really being too nice to me."
Minako smiled gratefully.

        Removing her apron and hanging it up on a nearby peg, Makoto sat
down across from her friend.  "Now," she said, tilting her head to the side
slightly.  "Are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened?"

        Chocolate had loosened Minako's tongue a bit, and she shrugged.  "I
don't know.  I guess I... kind of need someone to share it with, but you've
got to promise not to tell the others.  I mean it.  Not even Usagi-chan."

        "Of course not."  That look of motherly concern was back, and
Minako relaxed under its glow.  Sighing, she smiled.

        "There's a guy..." she began slowly, and Makoto had enough presence
of mind not to grin.  "A friend of mine, someone I've known for a while but
have just started to get close to.  And he was sharing a lot with me... a
lot of memories, things he kept private, stuff like that.  But there was
one thing he wouldn't tell me."  She sighed.  "And I couldn't get my mind
off it.  So I...I went behind his back and tried to find out.  I did a lot
of really horrible things, and he finally caught me at it.  And I don't
know what to do about it. I feel absolutely awful, and I wonder if there's
any way I'll ever get his friendship back.  I think I may have really blown
it for good this time." Her words were measured, even, but emotion trembled
behind them and Makoto sensed that there was something more at stake.  
What, however, was beyond her.

        "It's not even a big deal!" insisted Minako-chan, smiling sadly.
"You'd think it was some really deep secret about his past or something,
but it's not.  It's practically a joke, a gimmick!"

        "Like that mystery singer," Makoto wondered out loud, letting the
words trail off just long enough that she couldn't hear Minako catch her
breath.

        "Yeah," laughed Minako nervously, "something like that.  I don't
get why he wouldn't tell me, though!  Why wouldn't he want me to know?"

        A quiet hovered in the room with the smell of home-baked cookies,
as the two girls contemplated.  But when the cuckoo clock struck six,
Minako jumped, bringing Makoto, too, out of her reverie.  "Oh!  We gotta
go!" she said, suddenly panicked.

        "Go?  Where?"

        Makoto winked at her.  "Speak of the devil, Minako-chan!  That
mystery concert is tonight!"  She located her purse and waved five green
tickets at the blonde.  "Remember, we're meeting the others at Crown so we
can all go to the concert together?"

        Horror filled Minako's face, and she turned away from her friend so
as to not reveal the contorted expression.  Her shoulders shook slightly. 
"Um, Mako-chan, I'm... not so sure I'm up to going tonight."

        "Huh?  But you were the one who was so excited about this in the
first place!"  Makoto protested.  But staring at her friend's back, she had
no choice but to acquiesce.  "Okay, Minako-chan.  But I'm going to leave
your ticket right here--" she slapped it down on the table-- "just in case
you want to join us later."

        "Thanks," Minako said in a muffled voice.  "I hope you enjoy it,
Mako-chan."

        Poised at the door, Makoto blew her friend a kiss.  "Feel better,
Minako-chan.  You know where to find me."

**

        "Waa! I can't see!"

        Rei grumbled.  "That's because we're not in the auditorium yet,
Usagi," she scowled.  In response, the girl stuck out her tongue.

        Makoto laughed.  "You two, cut it out.  We've got to stay together
in this crowd.  Ami-chan, you better not lose us with your nose buried in
that book."

        "Huh?" said Ami, looking up and adjusting her glasses.

        "For a megagenius, you sure can be clueless sometimes," Makoto
ribbed her, and the three girls laughed.  Usagi grabbed Ami's sleeve and
held Makoto's arm tight, trying to keep their group together.  Slowly, they
made their way through the turnstile.

        "Hora..." said Rei suddenly, and the girls' heads turned.  "Isn't
that... Michiru-san?"

        "You're right!"  called Usagi, and waved frantically, causing poor
Makoto's arm to wave along with her.  "Michiru-saaan!"

        The lovely young violinist turned and smiled at the group.  "Good
evening, everyone," she said.

        "What are you doing here?"  teased Usagi.  "Don't tell me
Haruka-san is the mystery musician!"

        Michiru giggled.  "If she is, Haruka hasn't told me about it."

        "This isn't exactly your type of concert, though," shrugged Rei.
"So what brings you here tonight, Michiru-san?"

        The woman closed her eyes briefly and gave a slight, secret smile.
"I've... been wondering about this concert," she murmured.  "It has the
capacity to be... interesting."

**

        The clock ticked.  Minako clutched her ticket.

        The softest of sighs sounded so loud when the swinging pendulum and
the lightly tapping rain were the only sounds.  "Mako-chan," she said out
loud to the empty room, "I wish I could have told you everything."

**

        The pavement glittered silver stars as dark water poured down from
the ominous clouds.  An occasional car turned the puddles red or orange,
but mostly, just the dim streetlamps and the glow of white lights outside
the Mitsuishi Forum reflected their sparkle in the endless raindrops.  It
was still and cold, and even the concrete seemed to shiver.

        Then, all at once, an inferno split open the sky and a roar came
forth from the spine of the building and blasted forward into the dark
night. Clouds rumbled and the earth came alive.  The identity of the man
behind Boku no Love Song had just been revealed.

**

        A tiny, persistent bird chirped nine times, and Minako still sat
there, her fingers drawn tightly around the small, green slip of paper in
her hand.

        Yaten would be over an hour into his act now, she realized.  Soon
he'd come to the end of it, and then the world would know what she still
didn't. Her throat was parched, and she longed to become the rain outside
the apartment window.  To satisfy her thirst by becoming that which could. 
To end her quest for love by becoming a lover.

        The strangeness of that analogy hit her sideways, and she frowned.
Her mind pored over her day's conversation with Makoto, ploddingly, again
and again, like the thud of drops of water hitting the pavement.  "Why
wouldn't he want me to know?"  nagged a horrible, teacher-like voice in the
lower left corner of her head.  Meanwhile, a stooped-over grandmother in
the opposite corner screeched, "I couldn't get my mind off it!"  But in the
very front, opening her arms out to the poor befuddled girl in the center,
was a sweet motherly Makoto, asking her again and again, "Don't you want to
talk about what happened?"

        "I do," said Minako, out loud, surprised at the sound of her voice.
The mental Minako ran to the arms of her friend, and something bold and
tremulous grew inside her.  The cuckoo clock shivered.

        She swallowed and started to speak again to herself and her
imaginary audience.   "The truth is..."

        Why wouldn't he want me to know?

        Building in the pit of her stomach, a horrified realization spread
its tentacles through her, filling her limbs with dread, polluting her
blood. Could it be..?

        "The truth is... I'm in love."

        The cuckoo mocked her, daring her to continue.

        "I have been for a long time."

        Oh God, if it was true, it was almost too late.

        "I'm in love with Yaten Kou."

**

        Pounding feet and flying hair, wet streams in sticky strands and
fogging breath that puffed and condensed against red cheeks before it even
had a chance to form.  The cold air was awful, heavy and foul-tasting, but
that didn't stop the panting breaths from sucking it in painfully.  Rain
beat against thick eyelashes already swimming in a wall of tears.

        Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid Minako, her mental voice chided just as
breathlessly as her real voice would have.  How could you have taken so
long to figure this out.  How could you not have realized it till now.  She
sniffled and choked on the rain.  It explains everything, everything.  And
still you didn't see.

        A sheaf of darkness fell before her eyes, and with impatient hands
she threw the length of soggy hair back.  She was a creature of strange
colors this dim and soaking night: blonde hair turned blackish green in the
downpour, pallid cheeks flushed red with exertion and desperation.  Some
sort of weird nightmarish nymph, sprinting through the city streets.

        And now the white lights of the Mitsuishi Forum were in sight, rain
falling through a hazy glowing sphere and returning to invisible darkness.
Please don't let me be too late, she prayed silently, clasping her wet
hands with a loud smacking sound.  Please, Yaten, don't start your Love
Song yet. I want to be there for it.  I want to be there for you.

        The doors flew open as lightning glared frighteningly in the
background.  In the empty lobby of the Forum, even the short slip of a girl
was an intimidating figure as she burst through, all flying hair and dark
scowls.  Running up to the nearest usher with a determined expression, she
showed him her ticket silently as the pounding bass started to vibrate
through her feet into her suddenly shaking legs.  He nodded, and she took
flight, vaulting over the turnstile with a grace born of desperation.

        Through the halls she raced, heart keeping time with the music she
could just barely feel shaking the walls.  Reaching a door, she clung to
it, drawing long shuddering breaths as she regained her center.  Swallowing
her fatigue, she pulled on the handle.

        Veiled music blasted forth at her, and she winced at its sudden
attack.  She was facing a barrier of backs, packed tighter than she could
have imagined, and her heart smiled at the success of his campaign.  Now
she could hear his voice above the wail of the saxophone and the deep
strings of the bass.  She jumped up again and again, trying to catch a
glimpse of his face, so far away from where she stood, in the back of the
back of the crowd.

        What was this song?  She moved in a little further, but couldn't
breach the brick wall of bodies, no matter how she pushed or pulled or
slipped from one side to the other.  This wasn't a song she'd ever heard
him sing, so (dodging a wild flailing arm) how did she know it?  She
remembered it as being a little faster, a little higher maybe.  But she
knew it.

        A scream in her ear, and then "don't forget me, most of all..." An
air pocket!  She slipped in to fill it.  "From here, we'll watch..."  How
come she was so sure the verse he was starting was actually the first
verse, although he was singing it second?  Her eyes wandered frantically,
and she considered vaulting up and using the audience as a pit of stepping
stones, leaping from head to poor fan's head.  Then she turned her head in
another direction, and all of a sudden she was staring straight into his
eyes.

        The Yaten on the screen seemed to be looking right at her, and she
stared breathlessly into those huge pixilated eyes, marveling at how
beautiful their pale green color was.  He caressed the microphone,
breathing each word as if it were something tender and precious.  This was
his Love Song.  And in another half moment, she realized she was singing
the words along with him, melody just barely coating the breath of the
lyrics in a shaking voice. "Open your eyes and look straight ahead... kiss
me for the last time..."

        Wait.

        That wasn't what he'd sung.
        He'd sung "Kiss me for the first time..."
        And suddenly she knew the song.

        So many different kinds of tears had fallen from Minako's
glittering eyes today, but these were the first that rolled down her cheeks
of their own accord.  Her lashes trembled.  A slow, sweet breath whistled
as her pursed mouth pulled it in.  All at once she was aware of every tear
she'd cried, every step she'd taken, every straining muscle and aching
stretch of skin. Fatigue trembled through her, nearly making her collapse,
but at the same time a new electricity was pulsing through her, white and
blue currents.  She hugged herself tight, closing her eyes, and for a few
blessed moments, she sang in unison with the man she loved.  "I won't
forget you, for most of all, I love you."  Then she ran, nearly flew, out
of the auditorium toward a destination unknown, as the speakers resounded
with the last few notes of...

        "Route Venus," Yaten said into the microphone.  "Ladies and
gentlemen... that's Yaten's Love Song."

**

        "Let me in!  Let me in!"  screamed the girl.  "I have to see
Yaten!" The security guards held her at bay, but the thrashing arms and
legs dealt out bruises by the barrelful.  This one was seriously disturbed. 
Tears streaming down her face, blonde hair slightly damp... she was
beautiful, but definitely as crazed a fan as they'd ever seen.  Taishi
chuckled and went back to congratulate his star.

        A million cameras clicked as Yaten emerged from his dressing room
and started to walk down the long, green-walled hall.  Microphones in his
face, flashings and jabberings on every side.  Smiling, he greeted the
press in between panting and wiping the sweat off his brow.  His heart was
hammering away.  "Thanks, thanks so much," he called to the clusters of
reporters whose praises were gushing through his ears like so much
floodwater.  Seeing Taishi at the end of the hall, he raised a hand to his
friend and manager.

        "Well done, my boy, well done!"  Taishi clapped Yaten on the back,
making him cough, and the reporters laughed.  "Ladies and gentlemen of the
press," he announced, turning to the crowd,  "I give you Yaten Kou!"

        Applause broke out in the clustered corridor.  "Think you have time
to sign some autographs?"  Taishi asked.  "There are some girls out there
who are just about killing themselves to get close to you."

        Yaten gulped.  "Uh, yeah, I guess so," he said, disappointment
flickering at the corner of his face for a brief moment.

        Taishi responded by wrapping a burly arm around the lean boy's
shoulders, drawing him in close so the paparazzi couldn't hear.  "Cheer up.
I know it's not much consolation now, but there are plenty of ladies on the
other side of that door who'd like to make you forget all about her."  He
laughed.  "I'd stay away from the blonde with the bow in her hair, though.
She's giving the security guards quite a workout.  Definitely over the top,
that one."  He grinned, then was shocked into silence by the sudden
hollowness in Yaten's eyes.  The pupils were growing smaller and smaller,
huge green irises suddenly fading to yellow.  Then Taishi's arm was
clutching air.

        "Yaten-kun!!"

        "I think I hear footsteps, guys!"

        "Ohmygod, he's coming!"

        "I can't believe this, I'm gonna faint..."

        "...The door!"

        Screams erupted as the silver-haired singer threw open the stage
door and looked around impatiently.  The security personnel braced
themselves for the onslaught of eager female bodies and skyrocketing
shrieks.  Some of the girls had broken through the first line of guards and
were now squealing from behind the strong arms of a second blue-jacketed
row.  "Yaten-kun!  I love you!"  "Yaten-kun!"  A multitude of reaching arms
and thrashing legs, some grabbing a handful of blazer despite the guards,
some pulling at the whipping silver ponytail.

        Yaten winced but didn't register the grabs and touches and shrieks.
His eyes pored over the crowd, further and further from his position just
outside the stage door, and then darkened in disappointment.  Guess not.
Sighing, he forced a smile onto his face and said, "Hi, everyone!"  Happy
squeals pervaded the crowd, and Yaten shrugged to himself.  Still, this was
the good life, he thought, as he started to accept pens and programs being
pushed forth from the swelling crowd.  "With love," he said out loud as he
wrote, "Yaten Kou.  There you go!"  He took up a second, then a third, pen
and paper, all the time enduring the shouts and squeaks of thrilled teenage
girls, attempting to quell the disappointment that swam like a murky red
soup in the bottom of his soul.

        And then, he heard a shriek different in tone from all the others.
This one was desperate.  This one was crying.  "Yaten!  Yaten!"  He dropped
the pen and looked up.  A hush fell over the crowd, and they followed his
gaze to the back of the packed alleyway.  Struggling and sobbing, being
held at bay by two battered and beaten security guards, was the girl Taishi
had talked about...

        He walked toward her.  The abusive throng had somehow transformed
into a quiet mass, as though they were allowing a funeral procession to
pass. The guards, who had turned to Yaten with apologetic looks, were
stunned by his gaze and let go of the struggling girl.  Amazingly, when she
was released, the hysterics disappeared.  She stood still for a long
moment.  He took a step forward.  And then she started walking, boldly
through the surreal Red Sea of people, her face still and confident and
tranquil.  Yaten felt his hands reach forward.

        She came right up to him and buried her head in the hollow of his
shoulder.

        The silence gave way to a low buzzing, the crowd pressing and
swelling from side to side, but not closing the wide gap.  Was Yaten Kou
giving out hugs to fans tonight?  How he had changed from his obnoxious
days with the Lights!  So much more romantic now and everything, and don't
you want to be next in line?  Yet something kept the excitement from
overflowing, the mob from approaching the sacred circle which had formed
around Yaten and the blonde girl he was holding so tenderly.  Perhaps it
was the desire to see what would happen next.

        Minako lifted her head at the insistent tugs of Yaten's fingers
against her cheek.  He cradled her face, touching her hair one small strand
at a time, his fingers drawing lines between her ears and the edges of her
lips and back again.  Minako heard the labored rasping of his breaths. 
"Gomen ne, Yaten," she said seriously, her voice a sweet, low note.  Her
eyes glittered with a sparkle too warm for Yaten's still-awestruck gaze; he
gasped audibly and shivered.  His mouth, slightly open, invited Minako's
fingers.  She moved her hand up his spine and across his shoulders, drawing
a path to his pale face.

        She seemed dimly aware of flashbulbs popping in the distance, maybe
the confused voice of a faraway admirer or two.  But mostly, she wanted to
trace the outline of his mouth with her fingers.  So she did, avoiding the
kisses he vainly attempted to press on her hand.  The insistence of his
mouth, pursing under her touch, made her giggle, and the silence was thus
broken.

        "Mi... Minako..."  His voice broke as the tears came again, and she
dried them with her soft fingers.  A sad smile lit her face.

        "I know, Yaten," she said in a dim, low voice.  "I understand,
now."

        The glissando of emotion broke around Yaten like a wave.  If he
could have wrapped his arms three, four times about her, he would have. 
But as it was, he just gathered her form up and pulled her in so close that
his fingers brushed the elbow of his other arm.  Closing his eyes, he
inhaled the scent of her so close, so delicate but so confident next to
him.  Then she brought his face to hers again.  Trembling, they kissed
briefly.  Then longer, surer, shades of light hair sifting together. 
Minako felt or heard a swelling, an exploding.  Only later did she realize
it was the crowd erupting in cheers.

**

        Shivering white limbs and golden hair against white sheets. 
Intense blue eyes wide, staring upward at a paler pair of eyes, focused a
little lower.  She slid one white hand onto his cheek, feeling his skin. 
She imagined powdered sugar and snow, so light and hovering and ready to
fall at any moment.

        He blinked briefly at the sudden touch of sugar against his cheek,
and looked down smilingly -- hair, gold and silver, loose and endless--
simple curve of a waist, long arms and legs and a face, pale, calm,
inviting, needing.

        She smiled tremulously, then pressed her dry lips together.  Yaten
closed his eyes for a moment at this gesture, moaning very softly.  It hurt
to look at her sometimes.  But his own very beautiful Minako-- breathtaking
and all his and waiting, asking to be loved.  And by him.  The ache was a
sweet one.  She was so beautiful.  He tried hard to swallow, the green eyes
blinking again.

        For minutes he just stared.  White on white.  So cool and pristine
and untouchable, like a fresh snowfall, but begging to be touched, to be
ruined, forever changed, completed.  And golden and silver strands like the
strings of an angel's harp.  Pale lovers on ivory sheets in an airy room. 
Pure white.

        But like the beginning of a storm, rumbling somehow, aquamarine
eyes oozed a silent question, mysterious liquid swelling like laps of the
ocean against fine sands of a white beach.  And her cheeks flushed pink,
darkening the color of her skin from purity toward passion.  Yaten could
feel his own skin responding, red rushing to his face too.  She was so
lovely and he was so afraid, but he belonged here with her.  And just
before the tide overtook these sandy shores, he leaned down to whisper in
her small ear, "I love you."

**

        "Hora!! Minako-chan!!"

        Rei stomped toward her friend, brandishing a book.  "Is this kind
of thing LEGAL!?"

        Minako grinned wickedly.  "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Rei-chan," she
said, taking another bite of ice cream.

        "I'm serious!"  She frowned, slamming on the table and causing the
whipped cream to jump a half-inch off the sundae and come splashing down on
the dish right beside it.  "You can go to JAIL for this kind of thing,
can't you?"

        "It's called a ROMANCE novel, Rei-chan," Minako admonished, peeved
at the loss of her ice cream.  "People write them all the time.  Not only
that, people read them all the time, or should I start listing the titles
of the collection under your bed?"  Reddening, Rei shushed her and sat
down.

        "Forgive Rei-chan," said Makoto with a self-deprecating smile.  "It
is different when it's your friend behind those scantily clad people on the
cover."

        "You make it sound so crass!"  pouted Minako.  "What's the matter
with two people in love expressing their love for each other?"  Usagi
nodded firmly in agreement, making a number of silly noises.

        "She's just jealous," theorized Rei, raising her spoon like a
lecturer's pointer.  "Cause unlike SOME of us, Mako-chan hasn't had a
boyfriend yet this year."

        "Oh, come off it!"  Makoto retorted.  "Yeesh, the minute you make
up with Yuuichirou, you're busy rubbing it in the rest of our faces.  I'll
find another guy when the time is right!"

        "Or when you see someone..." started Rei, and the rest of the girls
filled in the blank.  "...who looks like senpai!"  Makoto hung her head,
sighing in annoyance.  "Aw, c'mon," Rei nudged her, "we wouldn't say it if
we didn't love you.  'Course, we also wouldn't say it if it weren't
true..."

        Makoto's fists clenched, and she began to roar at Rei when
something poked her in the back.  Her face contorted into a series of funny
expressions before she finally wheeled and shouted, "Ami-chan, if you want
to read Minako's book, then just take it, already!!"

        A red face behind a set of fogged-up glasses peeked upwards. 
"Gomen nasai!"

        Minako leaned back, licking hot fudge off her spoon.  "Don't worry,
Mako-chan.  I'm sure you'll find someone special," she said in a calm tone
that had only emerged in the past few months.  "It's the same reason I
write romance novels, now.  When Yaten took me on tour with him, I got to
meet a lot of people from a lot of different walks of life, and as unique
as they all were, there was one thing that was always the same.  They loved
Yaten because his music is about searching for love."  A contented sigh
escaped her lips. "Everyone has a love story waiting out there for them.  I
did, and you do too. It's just a matter of following your own star."

        She looked out the window.  Only a few more days before he came
back, smiled her heart.    And in the meantime, lovers and dreamers laid in
wait in her imagination, ready to spring to passionate life on paper.  Love
was her life now-- it was her destiny.  Hers alone.  She was Aino Minako,
known as the Goddess of Love to fans of her book-- her very first published
book!  A chronicler of loves past, present, and future... and a lover
herself. Finally, she was embracing her very own destiny.  "Thank you,
Yaten," she said
silently, "for helping me reach my star."

                                        THE END

************************************************************************

Allllllllllllll RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

I really didn't expect her to start writing romance novels.  It just
happened. But it sounds like a pretty good occupation for her, ne?

The point of this fic was not only to bring Minako and Yaten together, but
to prove WHY they belonged together.  Too many fanfics stick two characters
in a romantic relationship without giving us a single reason why they are
good for each other.  I saw the vulnerability of Minako and Yaten, the
similarity of the facades they put up for the world, and it occurred to me
that I could help them along, that with the right guidance they could find
each other and be happy. I considered begging the forgiveness of all the
people who might not see these two very special characters this way.  But I
don't think I will. I built on what I was shown, and I matured them in a
way that brought them closer to each other.  If you were expecting more
crazy-Minako and annoying-Yaten in this story, then you are probably
disappointed.  But with any luck, I presented a good enough case that you
could believe the maturing of these characters.

Who to thank, who to thank?  Well, there's become a tradition among the
Sappy Romance Fanfic Authors that you have to thank all of the other Sappy
Romance Fanfic Authors.  So to all the sweet girls who have kept my
appetite for romance appeased and who have mentioned me in their credits
sections, Razzz, Crystal Heart, Rain Ayo, Sue Mei, Corina Borsuk, and a
wink to Sailor Mac for private reasons (say hi to Marla for me, love, I.) 
Read these people's stories.  They're good.  Nyah. :P

And to all the people who have e-mailed me saying "I loved Darien's View,
are you going to write anything else?"  It's not a Tuxfic, but I hope this
suffices!! I'm certainly damn proud of it.  You have really been my
inspiration and forced me to keep slaving at this thing no matter HOW
ponderous it seemed.  Arigatou.

A special thanks to my parents for getting me sufficiently ticked off at
them that I could come downstairs and write the last several pages of this
in one fell swoop, after two weeks of writer's block.  And for giving birth
to me and letting my star grow in its own time, and develop its own
glitter.  And a special thanks to someone whose initials are JW (not me OR
my brother!) who talked out the problems of my fic with me and helped me
through the nasty knot of writer's block.  I truly appreciate it.   A super
special thanks to oneechan-tachi: Pandora, Brian, and Myrna... all three of
you deserve endless happiness and joy, and I care very deeply about you
all.  Ganbatte.

More thanks to Latonya for encouragement and Ranmathons, to P-chan ^_^ for
a certain kind of inspiration, and to Ilana Tavan, my official
Uranus/Neptune consultant, for endless support and giggles and friendship. 
I love you all.
(Everyone, if you like Harukafics, go read Ilana's fics.  They're worth
your time.  Keep writing, Ilana-chan!)

And the biggest thank you of all for this story goes to a fellow writer
whom I met the day before I completed this story.  She's inspired me with
so many wonderful stories and has been such a sweet and fun friend to me. 
She was the first person to read any part of this story, and her
encouragement was so extraordinary...  so all I can say is Domo Arigatou,
Lianne-chan.

All right!  I'm outie!

**

"Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars: Yaten's Love Song" is a Sailor
Moon fanfic by Jennifer A. Wand, completed February 15, 1998.  Sailor Moon
and all related items are property of Miss Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha,
Bandai, Toei, TV Asahi, DIC, and anyone else whose name I will put up here
if they sue me. Any disclaimers I forgot?  No?  Then goodnight, everybody!

--Jen
   @___@    ||  eponine@ccs.neu.edu * http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/eponine *
  //@_@\\   ||  (.../gallery.html for pics .../tux/tuxedo.html for the
Shrine)
 //  o  \\  ||  Long live the meatball headed one! * ICQ UIN: 8180568
finally