"Haruka's Awakening"
                              by Wandering Angel


SPOILER WARNING: This story is a work of Sailor Moon fan fiction.  However, 
it contains scenes and references to major events from Sailor Moon S and 
Sailor Stars, including episodes 110 and 197-200.


Sailor Uranus forced her chest upwards, drawing in air, which felt like 
liquid inside of her.  Surrounding this weight, the outer shell of her body 
tingled in waves of dissociation.  It felt as if her entire body, like a 
single foot or hand, were falling asleep from the pressure of the air 
encompassing her.  She pushed her chest upwards again, scarcely able to feel 
it.  With the bracelets gone, the Mission was over.  The final stratagem 
failed and spent, there was no option but to lay sprawled and wither.  
Galaxia was far from sight.  The desolation of Sailor Uranus was almost 
complete.

Michiru!  Haruka did not need to look-she could hear Michiru's faltering 
breaths nearby.  Haruka knew that beyond the realm of common experience, an 
uncanny connection had formed between them.  Since birth, Destiny had 
orchestrated their celestial dance, intertwining events to an unheard 
empyrean rhythm, driving their minds and bodies to the limits of their 
attraction.  Although the two of them caused worlds to shake, the gravity 
between them was unshakable.  From deep within Haruka's heart, a flood of 
emotions arose as a geyser, exploding invisible barriers on the path upwards.  
She gasped again, drowning amidst a sea of air and feeling.

Michiru's breaths were shallow and her mouth was practically closed.  In 
spite of this fact, Haruka could hear her voice.  Was this a hallucination?   
Michiru spoke words, which were familiar from years ago: "Before I knew that 
you were the one, I was watching you from nearby when you were racing for the 
first time.  I always wanted to ride in your car along the coastline just 
once.  You never asked any favors of anyone.  You are always faithful to your 
feelings."  Haruka heard her own voice as if she were watching a movie: "I am 
not faithful-I'm always running away."  Michiru spoke again: "I know more 
about you than you do, because I watch you all the time.  I don't want you to 
take the same way as I took.  Still, I was happy when I found that you were 
the one."

Haruka swooned.  What was this feeling?  It was true, she had been running 
away for some time, but who was this woman who could cause such a reaction 
within her?  Part of Haruka's dream-to be like the wind in all of its 
simplicity-was the pursuit of ultimate freedom.  At times, however, it was a 
desire to escape from the world, her worries and her feelings.  It was 
amazing how the tender passion of Michiru could cause Haruka to feel so 
vibrant and happy to be alive, without any need to escape!  Yet Haruka knew 
that their Destiny as Sailor Senshi did not require the feelings that were 
shared between them.  Their Mission had been predestined, but their love had 
grown over time, as a blossom is born.


                                *  *  *  *  *


Haruka tugged at a coiled snake of leather dangling from the steering wheel.  
She sighed in disgust, as almost a fourth of the steering wheel had become 
unraveled.  "Shimatta!" said Haruka.  She had recently purchased two new 
tires and now this!  Of course, she would not mention it to Michiru, who 
would undoubtedly tell her with a sheepish grin that the car was giving her a 
hint and that the highway was not a raceway.  She opened the glove 
compartment and removed a spool of clear tape.  The tape was a special 
adhesive, which she used on one of her motorcycle helmet visors; when the 
visor fogged up in the rain, she would roll the tape assembly across her 
visor to defog it.  It was not perfect for this kind of repair, but it would 
have to do.  After three wraps around the steering wheel, the leather stayed 
put.  Haruka grabbed the violin case in the seat beside her and walked to the 
apartment building ahead.

Haruka knocked on the door.  "Tadaima!" she said.

No response.

"Michiru?" said Haruka.

"It's open."

Haruka turned the doorknob and opened the door.  "Empty all those boxes, yet?  
I..."

There was no light in the apartment except for the dim illumination of two 
candles on the table.  Haruka's eyes slowly adjusted.  No boxes were anywhere 
and Michiru had just moved in a day ago!  As she closed the door behind her, 
Haruka noticed a pleasant aroma.  It was some sort of chicken, flavored with 
various spices.  It was a delicate smell, as delicious as one would expect to 
find in an elegant Italian restaurant.  (What a contrast to Haruka's own 
breakfast of Miso soup and rice!)  Haruka glanced around, but saw no stereo 
speakers; they must have been concealed, as the gentle harpsichord of J.S. 
Bach's "Air on the G String" magnified the sumptuous ambience.

"Please sit down," said Michiru from the kitchen, "I'll be finished in just a 
minute."

Haruka felt her eyes glaze over.  She sat down.

"Uh, I picked up your violin," said Haruka, "the shop was kind of far out 
there, so it made me a little late.  Would you like to see it?"

"Thank you for doing that," said Michiru, "but I don't need to see it right 
now.  I'm not playing tonight."

"The man said it was just a minor repair.  He said that your violin was a 
real beauty."

"That was nice of him to say that.  I have been known to appreciate beauty."

Michiru drew back the small drapery that separated the kitchen from the 
dining area.  The lighting behind Michiru presented Haruka with a silhouette, 
which was nothing less than magnificent.  Michiru wore an evening gown of 
black silk, which accentuated her feminine form in a succession of graceful 
contours.  The fine gown material was slightly reflective of the light 
shining behind her, creating the illusion of a shimmering aura.  The 
alabaster hue of her exposed shoulders contrasted the dark silk as in the 
chiaroscuro of Michiru's latest drawings.  As Michiru shifted her weight, she 
drew one arm against the doorway, her outer hip defining itself with the 
fluent, gradual motion of a poured Chardonnay.

"So, what do you think?" said Michiru.

"I thought you said that you weren't playing tonight," said Haruka.  "You 
look as majestic as your name implies."

Michiru giggled.  "Dinner is ready."

Michiru disappeared into the kitchen.  Haruka poured herself a glass of 
water, spilling a little down the side of the glass.  She swallowed twice, 
with audible gulps both times.  

Michiru emerged carrying a closed serving tray.  Steam licked the edges of 
the lid as Michiru placed the tray on the table wearing two oven mitts.  
Michiru's eyes fell.  Her brow lowered and she sat, dropping the oven mitts 
to the floor.

"Michiru!" said Haruka, "what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," said Michiru, "I wanted to wait until after dinner, but this 
can't wait-I've got to tell you now.  Haruka.  Listen."  Her voice faltered.

Haruka leaned forward.

"Haruka," said Michiru, "I want you to know how much our time together has 
meant to me.  I've never been so happy.  My life as a senshi was desolate 
before you came, but I feel so excited, so hopeful when you are near me.  Our 
Mission, as we discussed, cannot change.  The Silence must be averted.  There 
must be sacrifices.  There is no other way.  But my dream to ride with you 
along the coastline is better in reality than I ever imagined.  Either one of 
us could die in battle and I know that we must fulfill our objectives, even 
if only one of us remains.  I have already lived a lonely life."

"But," said Michiru, "even though I am tortured by visions of the Silence and 
the terror of those surviving in a land ruled by evil, there is another 
dream-a dream which I long to re-experience.  I find myself on a vast beach, 
with shells of every variety stretched along its surface.  Such tranquility, 
I cannot describe.  I explore the shore for days, filling my bucket with 
beautiful and exotic shells as the sea foam laps at my feet.  As I descend a 
slope, I see a form in the distance.  It is you, Haruka.  As I walk toward 
you, I feel a loosening of my soul and as we embrace, it's like Heaven, we 
are so free.  This is my special dream, the dream each girl carries with her 
and cherishes her entire life.  Haruka, if my special dream does not please 
you, I will understand in time, though you must appreciate that it will be 
difficult for me."

Michiru arose and walked to Haruka.  Their eyes were steadily fixed.  Michiru 
placed an object on the table.  It was a small cylindrical wand embossed with 
the symbol of Neptune in gold.

"The sea is calm," said Michiru.  "For just this night, let us lose ourselves 
in this feeling.  No, I am already lost.  Haruka, I need to know how you 
feel.  I want to be more than your friend.  I ask you this not as a girl 
asks, but as a woman who is certain.  I cherish you deeply and above all 
others."

Haruka felt the burning warmth of Michiru's hands clasping her own.  Haruka's 
hands were bundled together, with Michiru's hands surrounding them.  As they 
raised their hands to the table together, Haruka opened their embrace of 
fingers as the petals of a flower.  Inside their hands was a small 
cylindrical wand embossed with a golden symbol.  It was the symbol of Uranus.

The moment transcended time itself.  Michiru's mouth opened for a deep 
breath.  Her eyes sparkled and swelled with tears.  Haruka felt her own heart 
beating within her chest.  Her mouth acquired the flavor of passion and she 
reached behind Michiru, pulling her into her lap.

"Haruka!" said Michiru.

During their embrace, the image remained fixed in Haruka's mind.  It was 
Michiru...  Her eyes.  In that moment-the moment of opening-her eyes took a 
quality more precious than any faceted gem.  It was a look of excitement, of 
wonder and possibly of love.  How precious a key that Haruka held, which 
could release the passion of delicate Michiru!  Haruka pulled her close, the 
warmth of their bodies igniting like fire.  As Haruka pulled her fingers 
through Michiru's hair, she felt Michiru's tears stream down her back.  They 
both knew that this was a special night.  Tonight, all would be revealed.


                                *  *  *  *  *


"And here we go...  An iced tea, a house blend black and a house blend with 
two creams.  Might I get anything else for you ladies, today?"

"We're fine for now," said Haruka.

"Thank you," said Michiru.

Setsuna nodded to the waitress, who tucked the serving tray beneath her arm 
and walked to the kitchen.

"No flirting today, Haruka?" said Michiru, "you must be feeling ill."

"Boy, this place has changed," said Haruka.

"It has, indeed," said Setsuna, examining the lavender drapes.  "A new 
window, as well."

Looking through the picture window from behind, Haruka read the name, "Cafe 
Etranger."  She glanced back at Michiru, who rolled her eyes.

"How about you, Michiru," said Setsuna.  "Iced tea in the winter?"

"My stomach has been upset, lately.  But really, I'm fine."

Setsuna raised her coffee cup to her mouth, gently blowing the steam from the 
surface of the liquid.  "Are you enjoying the apartment?"

"Yes, we both think it's great.  It's smaller than your typical place, but 
neither of us need much room.  Also, we really don't spend much of our time 
there.  Between Haruka's racing and my practicing, we just decide to 
reconvene for dinner.  That is, when we aren't strolling in the park."

Haruka felt Michiru's hand against her own beneath the table.

"Are you sure you feel alright?" said Michiru.

"Yes," said Haruka.

"It has nothing to do with that couple, does it?"  Michiru looked to Setsuna.  
"We had a difficult situation with a young couple who live in the same 
apartment building.  At times we are pretty subtle with our affection, 
because it can be tiring to deal with comments or glares from those who don't 
understand.  Of course, some people mistake my Haruka for a gentleman, a 
mistake made obvious when they see how flirtatious she is.  At any rate, a 
woman made some comment about our lives being sinful, because they saw us 
kissing at the front door."

Setsuna took a sip from her coffee cup.  Her left eye twitched as the coffee 
was still too hot for a full swallow.  "You two would prefer the culture of 
ancient Greece.  The citizens of Crystal Tokyo in this century are still 
young in development and have a long way to go yet.  All nations grow in 
time, although their areas of growth are disparate."

"It's not a big deal," said Haruka.

"No, it's not," said Michiru, "because we have learned how to handle it.  But 
it's annoying when it's someone who lives so close to you.  Besides, the 
action of God is love, not prejudice.  Actions show the state of one's 
heart."

Michiru was right, thought Haruka.  At times Haruka had doubted her own 
belief in God, wondering at times if God valued her love and still cared 
about her.  Such doubt was normal for everyone, she reasoned, though she 
still felt that her hands were somehow dirty.  In actuality, there was 
nothing she could do that could alter or weaken her relationship with God.  
She often wore a cross to remind herself of that fact.  The important thing 
was to be ready for the next Mission, whatever it would be.  She knew that 
they would be called into battle soon, but when exactly?  Who would they 
fight?  Although the company of Setsuna was enjoyable, there were often 
reasons behind her visits.

Haruka felt the warmth of Michiru's hand again.  The fingertips of Michiru's 
right hand were softer than those of her left.  Michiru gently caressed 
Haruka's fingers, initiating a dance of affection.

"Of course," said Michiru, "challenges often strengthen love.  Many forces 
have threatened us, but we have always endured whatever has come our way.  
You've known us for so long that we hardly need to tell you that, Setsuna.  
Besides, those times when I have deprived myself of expressing my love have 
heightened its intensity."

Setsuna nodded.  "It has even been said that the simple sharing of hands is 
the most profound touch of all."

Haruka felt her face and neck tingling.  Michiru withdrew her hand into her 
own lap.  Haruka glanced to Michiru, whose cheeks were bright rose in color.  
Haruka raised her glance to the window, watching the snow fall outside.

"I was wondering," said Haruka, "you often view the flow of time.  Have you 
seen anything unusual lately?"

"Unusual?" said Setsuna.

"Two days ago, I was walking home when it started to snow.  Snow had not been 
in any forecast, but it had been snowing so much it was starting to effect my 
racing schedule.  Just as I got to the end of the path, I was sure that I saw 
the forms of three women appear in front of me.  I turned to see if any were 
behind me and then I turned back.  They just disappeared, completely."

Michiru stirred the ice cubes in her glass of tea with a straw.  "It has been 
so peaceful these days."

"Has it really?" said Haruka.

"Is something still bothering you, Haruka?" said Michiru.

"No, it's just my intuition, I guess."

"I have the same feeling," said Michiru, "But I can't tell what it is."

Setsuna gazed into her coffee cup.  Her countenance was pensive.  "I feel as 
if time has stopped."


                                  *  *  *  *  *


Michiru leaned down and gently kissed Haruka behind the ear.  As Michiru 
rubbed her cheek along the side of Haruka's face, Haruka was tickled by her 
long, downy eyelashes.  Michiru raised Haruka's head and sat on the sofa, 
lowering her head into her lap.

"This is the best seat in the house," said Haruka.

Michiru rubbed a finger along Haruka's hairline, drawing patterns through 
Haruka's hair.

"What am I going to do with you?" said Michiru.

>From the corner of her eye, Haruka noticed a glint.  Turning to one side, she 
saw that light was reflecting from a small ceramic shard on the bookcase.  
The shard was a remnant of a puppet, which the two of them had destroyed.  
The puppet had once housed dark energy.

"I was thinking of something," said Haruka.  "When we were fighting Eudial, 
you knew that my death was a possible result of our Mission, but you 
sacrificed yourself to save me."

"We've talked about this before," said Michiru.  She cupped Haruka's cheeks 
in her hands.  "What is so hard to understand about that?  How could I live 
without this face?"

"It's kind of strange, but I was remembering.  Do you remember the panels 
which housed Eudial's guns?  They were engraved with Cupid."

Michiru's body shook as she laughed.  "You mean, I was almost killed by 
Cupid's arrows?  I didn't remember that!"

"Cupid's arrows-shot by Eudial.  It has made me think, though.  She referred 
to them as 'God's penalty.'"

Michiru pulled Haruka's head close against her.

"As long as we're together, death has no power.  I do admit, losing you is 
the scariest thing I can think of."

"I can think of one thing scarier," said Haruka.  "Sailor Pluto knocking on 
our front door, this time with baby Hotaru and baby Dumpling both."

Michiru held Haruka's head in her hands as she stood.  Michiru climbed over 
and stretched lengthwise atop Haruka.  Haruka pulled the quilt from the back 
of the sofa over them both.

"All we need to think about is right here," said Michiru.

A metal object rapped against the front door seven times.  They stared into 
each other's eyes.  Neither of them dared to move.


                                  *  *  *  *  *


Sailor Uranus could barely see.  Her lungs strained as if they were full of 
water.  She knew that these were her final moments.  The only thought that 
remained within her-the deepest image that had surfaced-was that of Michiru.  
It was Michiru's eyes.  Above and beyond all interpretation, these were the 
eyes of love.  If only Haruka could live one more day, she could show Michiru 
her deepest feelings.  To have one more drive by the coastline-it would be a 
night to overwhelm them both!

Did Michiru truly know how much she loved her?  Why could Haruka not have a 
final chance to give her the treasures of her soul!  Always and again, 
Michiru led with her feelings-she embodied love-and she was so beautiful!  
Michiru, the sweetest of all women, was herself the most precious cause!  But 
now, it was too late.  Her darling Michi-chan was dying!  Haruka knew in her 
heart why Michiru had always sacrificed herself.

"Haruka."  It was the voice of Michiru.

"What?" Haruka said.  Was this another hallucination?

"I want to touch you," said Michiru.

This was real!  They had actually spoken!  Haruka stretched her arm, but the 
strain was agonizing.  Her fingers trembled.  Her muscles throbbed.  Her 
outstretched arm drew energy from every part of her body.  Weaker and weaker 
and weaker she became.

Haruka saw Michiru!  Michiru struggled to extend her hand.  For a moment-a 
brief moment-they were almost able to touch!  Haruka felt her body nearing 
collapse.  One final surge was all that she was capable of summoning.  Haruka 
forced her body to obey her commands.  She stretched closer and closer.

Haruka touched Michiru.  It was not an embrace.  It was the simple sharing of 
hands.


My Michiru, I want you to know how much I love you.
My Haruka, I revere your love.  Please share this moment with me.


My cherished angel, you are priceless and wonderful.  You have the eyes of 
love.
My darling sweet, you are more valuable than a galaxy of stars, planets 
and moons.


Michiru, our love was the greatest of all my experiences.
Haruka, our love was the deepest of all loves.


The key to your eyes is within me.  You showed your love only to me.
So many people live and die without ever feeling this deepest joy.


This intimate sharing between two people.
This merging of minds, bodies and souls.


My Michiru, I was frustrated those times when you would enter your private 
world and leave me behind.
My Haruka, I wanted to be the only one you noticed.  You noticed others, too.


We worked through our challenging times and conflicts.
We endured the turmoil the world created for us.


You are not only my partner and my lover, you are also my best friend.
I have always seen your caring heart and I cherish it.


Now we are together and now we must die.
Our hands are joined.  Death has no power over us.


Michiru, I love you.
Haruka, I love you, too.


Their bodies were as faint as dewdrops.  Haruka had one remaining breath.  
She knew that Michiru had drawn her final breath, as well.

"I see the light," said Michiru.

"It's warm, Mi-chi-ru," said Haruka.

                                 *  *  *  *  *

Dear Diary,

I had a beautiful dream when I was riding in Haruka-poppa's car today.  I am 
probably mature enough to call her Haruka, but I love my "chibi" feelings.  
You know that my past is sort of complicated, but that's okay, as long as I 
feel good about it.

I'm not so sure that it was a dream, really, because it was so vivid.  I lay 
on a beach, staring at the sky.  It was incredible, not like any sky I have 
seen.  I could see so far, there must have been thousands of stars.  They 
were so colorful and I saw many solar systems with planets in lavender and 
orange.  Pale moons were orbiting everywhere.  I even saw bands of meteors 
streak like lightning, some of them having tails like comets.  Setsuna-momma 
was sitting beside me.  She said that she had never grown tired of looking at 
this sky.

I looked at her and she was diaphanous, like a living essence.  She was so 
beautiful, with long trailing hair dancing around her as if the wind were 
blowing.  I could feel her near me.  I looked down and saw that I was an 
essence, too.  Somehow, I was both solid and incorporeal at the same time.  I 
was my living soul.

I felt almost like I was part of the waves, which licked the shore in front 
of me.  The water was crystal turquoise and I felt such peace when I gazed 
upon it.  I started singing softly, the gentle song of my soul, which 
Setsuna-momma calls my "wave."  I shared my thoughts and feelings with her 
and I was so free, sitting on the sand, watching the stars and the sea.

Soon, Haruka-poppa came.  We felt her presence without having to be near her 
and it was warm.  We were relieved to be with her, because even though she 
was free like us, she wanted to make sure we understood what had happened 
when we were senshi.  I remembered that we were fighting and that at least 
one of us needed to survive to face our adversary.  We were senshi.  We 
understood sacrifice.

She loved my song, but I stopped to tell her that God would not allow His 
champions or their love to perish.  This made her happy and not long after, 
Michiru-momma came walking up the shoreline.  She had a bucket in her hand, 
full of fluorescent seashells that she had collected.  It felt good to see 
her and Haruka-poppa ran to see her.

I was so happy for them, because as they held each other they looked like 
one.  It was radiant and warm and I wanted to cry because I was so happy.  I 
asked Setsuna-momma if I would ever find such a deep love with someone and 
she said that I certainly would.  After that, they came over and we looked at 
Michiru-momma's beautiful shells.  I felt so close, like I had lots of 
friends and there was lots of love.

Setsuna-momma said that we would not likely remember this and Michiru-momma 
said that she was not worried because she already knew all she needed.  I 
knew somehow that I would not forget this experience, because it meant so 
much to me.

I woke up in the car with my head on Setsuna-momma's shoulder.  She asked if 
I had nice dreams and I told her I did.

On the way home, we saw a shooting star.  Setsuna-momma asked what I wished 
for and I told her it was a secret.  I asked what she wished for and she said 
that it was a secret, too.  I also asked what Michiru-momma wished for, but 
she said that she did not need to wish for anything.  She and Haruka-poppa 
were the happiest right now.

Well, that's all for now.  There are so many things that I want to tell you, 
because it's been a while since we have talked.  I'm glad to be back in my 
own room with my favorite slippers.  I'm getting sleepy, so let's talk more 
tomorrow.  I hope you have pleasant dreams.

Your friend always,

Hotaru


============================================================================
"Haruka's Awakening," a Sailor Moon fan fiction by Wandering Angel, 
December 1998  (ASCII Version - 78 columns)

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon is under the copyright of the following:
Princess Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha Comics, TV Asahi and Toei Douga

I hope you enjoyed the story!
Feel free to send a message to me: Wandering_Angel@Hotmail.com 
Note: There's an underline (shift+dash) between "Wandering" and "Angel."

If you wish to send comments and/or criticism, it is always best to use 
specific references to the text.  Ja!
============================================================================