Sailor Moon and all associated senshi are the 
property of Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Bandai, and a 
whole bunch of other people I either don't remember 
or don't know about.  Everything else, however, 
belongs to me, and is guarded by my vicious attack 
gerbils.  If you wish me to call them off, please 
ask nicely.

To contact the author, please write to me (Jelynne) 
at; jlynne33@hotmail.com


*4 A.M. - Power*


	Four am, and I'm awake.

	Four in the morning, and I never went to 
sleep.

	And now, here I sit on this rooftop, hugging
my knees to my chest as tightly as I can, and 
staring straight ahead at nothing.  I haven't moved 
for a long time.  I've been too busy running around 
inside my head, thoughts scrambling in a morbid 
little circle.

			***

	I have the power to destroy.

	I am the destroyer.

	No, wait.

	I am the power of destruction personified.

	And I don't want to live.

	That sounds properly dramatic and 
angst-ridden, doesn't it?  Just the sort of thoughts
suited to the empty pre-dawn hours.  Too bad it's 
not true.

	I desperately want to live.  I want to see 
everything, touch everything, experience everything.
And what I want most of all is to have everything 
there to experience.

	There's no way I want to destroy any of it.
I couldn't bear to wipe away even a part of it.  
Everything here is so precious to me.

			***

	But *she*, my other me, doesn't feel quite 
the same way.  When she's me, and I'm her, it's all 
so different.  So much colder, so much 
black-and-white, with no grey to soften the edges.

	I'm frightened of myself.  Plain and simple.
I'm afraid of the person I turn into.  Afraid of 
what I'd do with my power.

	And yet, I could never give up that power.  
It's a part of me, entwined into my every heartbeat,
anchored deep in my soul.  Without it, I'd become 
my own shadow, fading away to nothing.

			***

	The power to be strong, safe, respected.

	The power to destroy everything and everyone
I care for.

	The power to sit here on this rooftop and 
stare at nothing until the dawn.

			***

	But it's not dawn yet.  So I'll sit.

	Until the sunrise, there are no demands and 
no choices I must make.  For now, there's just me 
and this sleeping city.

	I've stolen a little peace.  Just for 
tonight.