A Sailor Moon Story by Victor Naqvi. Please read Author's notes. Oh yes, E-mail me with your comments/criticism at vnaqvi@geocities.com On with the show! Why, man, she is mine own, And I as rich in having such a jewel As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl, The water nectar and the rocks pure gold. -William Shakespeare Usagi and Minako were grinning like bloody fools, Makoto and Rei with slightly amused looks on thier faces. they were all of course, interested in what Ami was going to say to me. After all, she and I hadn't seen each other since that last time we had faced that Prince Endymion character in the amusement park That was about four years ago. I had come, all of a sudden, into Rei's temple with a single crysanthemum and a small box of chocolates (one of those six-piece ones that you could find at the check-out counter of a supermarket). After all, I didn't want to overdo it. She was wearing one of those conservative get-ups that she usually does, a white cotton blouse with a small blue jacket draped over her shoulders, and a matching cotton skirt that went down past her knees. I wondered how she could feel so comfortable in that, especially in the middle of summer. They seemed to be talking about something before I had come in, and as soon as they all saw me at the doorway (except for Ami, she was sitting with her back towards the door) they became strangely quiet. I sort of took this as permission to speak, so I cleared my throat and said, "Hello, Ami," in a slightly shaky voice. I was never too good at talking to the opposite sex. Not that they wouldn't give me a passing glance or anything. People said I was quite handsome for a brainy, the way my bushy hair and eyebrows made me seem a little bigger and confident than I really am. I no longer looked like a small child for my age. But Ami was absolutely the most stunning creature on the face of the earth. Her hair- oh I hoped she never decided to grow it- was a wonderful shining blue, a blue from the sea, the same sea that formed her lovely eyes. Her- Oh god, I was getting carried away for a second there. No matter how many times I've seen her before, I could never get over it. I even made a copy of the picture that she gave me before I left, for I knew that the one I was discreetly clutching with a sweaty hand right now in my pocket was going to fade, in time. The other was stored safely in a frame on my desk. I would dust it everyday after I woke up, and before I went to bed. It was obvious by now that I was in love with her, desperately. However, the most I'd ever done with her was hold hands, or go on the ferris wheel with her. I remember telling her that that was my dream, to go to an amusement park with her. She turned around at the sound of my voice, her hands clasped together in front of her like she always did, and stared right at me. I have never seen anybody turn that shade of red before. She stared at me dumbly for a few seconds, her cheeks positively burning now, then she shrieked and ran into an adjoining bedroom, shutting the rice-paper door behind her. "Huh?" Still tangled in the web of confusion, I gaped at the door behind which Ami dissapeared, then looked all over myself... Is my fly open? Something on my face? Allergic to chocolate? What? What? ...That's when I noticed they were all still staring at me. Usagi's grin got even wider, I think. She walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Her face looked like it was about to explode, from all that grinning. "Uh, you kind of caught us at a- well- a bad time." She seemed to pause for dramatic effect, then continued. "She was just talking about you and her and- well, you know." She gave me a wink and a little nudge from her elbow. As if it weren't obvious already. "Oh." I was uncertain now. "Should I go in-" "Of course, Urawa." I weasled out of Usagi's grip and gingerly slid the shojo door open, spilling light into the dark bedroom. I closed it behind me, and the place was again bathed in a dim yellowish light, permeating through the thin rice-paper sheets seperating our room and the other. After my eyes adjusted, I made my way over to Ami's side on the bed and sat down slowly. She knew I was there, but she refused to say anything, out of embarrasment over what she had supposedly said about me. It couldn't have been that bad, could it? After all, we're talking about Ami Mizuno. "Ami..." I struggled it from my throat. It came out horrible. Composing myself, I tried again. "Ami, although I'm not entirely sure about what's going on, I just want to say that I'm not angry about whatever you might have said. Ok?" How could I be. She surprised me with a small smile, and she looked at me, sort of. Actually, she was looking at my shirt. "I'm sorry, Urawa. It's just that the others were talking about- you know- and then they turned to me, and-" "I know the feeling, Ami-chan." I began to fluster slightly as well, and I presented my little gifts for her. She smiled again and accepted them. We both stood up, the color gone from our cheeks. "So Urawa, how did you know I was here?" I gave her a knowing look. Normally I didn't like to use my powers of divination, but I really wanted to see her today. Especially since... "Well, as long as you're here, why don't we do something?" she asked, gently nestling the flower into a pocket on her blouse. I was prepared. "How about the park, Ami? The weather's great." I replied, offering a hand which she took right away. She nodded, and I led her out of the room and into the main hall, where the fout other girls had resumed thier chat at the low table in the corner. We bid our goodbyes and glided out the front door, leaving a grinning Usagi behind us. Nice girl, that Usagi. I think she needs to cut down on her sugar intake, though. It was getting really dark by the time we playfully landed on Ami's front doorstep, just as Dr. Mizuno was stepping out. "Oh hello, Urawa," she said warmly as she fished for her car keys in her purse. "Ami, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave for a week again. You see, I tried to rescedule my out-of-country trips so we could have most of the summer together, but you know that doctors can't be choosers." "I understand, Mom." She gave her a weak smile. I could fathom her situation, though. My own parents had gone away to Northern Japan on a retreat of thier own, not for business, but for pleasure instead. Because both my parents had jobs, finding time for one another was a hard thing to come by, so they decided to visit the beautiful vistas that Japan's mountains offered. I was left in care of my uncle, a man who I truly did not like. For starters he drank heavily, and didn't pay any respect for me. Then he also has this crazy thing going that I'm not allowed to talk to any girl at all, even though my parents know about me and Ami. The only reason my parents dropped me off at his place was because he was the only relative who lived in the Juban/Tokyo area. I went along with it and decided to stay out of my uncle's way as much as possible. Dr. Mizuno gave us a sidelong glance as she walked to her car. "Stay out of trouble, you two," she called behind her. I liked her because of the fact that she could trust me enough with Ami, not unlike some of the stories I heard with other people's parents. But Dr. Mizuno was a nice woman. I just couldn't see why her husband would leave her. I watched her drive down to the end of the street then turn and dissapear into the mass of Tokyo's traffic. Ami was already in the house, so I followed her in. The house itself was quite large, a two-floor building with four bedrooms, two kitchens and a big common room. I especially liked the motif, the walls coated in a subtle shade of cacao butter, while the floor fully carpeted with- of course- a delicate pastel blue. The furniture stayed in theme as well, none being too quiet or contradicting. I took a seat on the plush blue loveseat and waited for her. Ami came back from the kitchen with a cup of tea in each hand and handed one for me, then sat down beside me and looked at hers thoughtfully. "So..." she began. "This is quite a nice place you have here, Ami." I started, and quietly congratulated myself on finding a good sentence to initiate conversation. I was usually horrible at it. "Thanks. I actually picked out most of the color scheme myself, and it shows," she giggled as she looked up and at me, her blue eyes shining with amusement. "Obviously." Feeling a bit more relaxed, I laid my wandering eyes on an exquisite chess set which sat on it's own small marble pedestal in a corner of the room. I placed my still-untouched tea onto the coffee table in front of me, then got up and walked over to it. It certainly looked expensive. The playing pieces were made of the same substance as the checkered board, either a pale jade or sleek obsidian, depending on the side it was placed on. Ami had moved over to my side as I was admiring the set. "It's a very special chess set, and I had won it in a tournament in Kobe a few years ago," she said, answering my unasked question. She carefully picked up a jade knight in her delicate fingers, and turned it slowly around in front of me. "Beautiful, isn't it? This is a sculpture of a horseback samurai weilding a wakizashi, done circa 1771. This, as well as the rest of the pieces, are very rare." "So I guess you don't play with them, then," I said flatly. "No, I don't. Except..." she put the piece back down and looked right at me with a glint in her eye. "...for special occasions." I smiled back, the last traces of my apprehension finally draining away from me. "You're on," I challenged, kneeling in front of the obsidian army. She let her fingers drag along the edge of the chessboard as she walked around and sat in front of the jade one, uncharacteristically cracking her knuckles. "And don't use that power of yours to cheat," she warned, starting the game with a deceptively predictable pawn maneuver. I sighed and countered with my knight. "Just go easy on me, okay?" "Checkmate." "Doh!" I muttered, running my hands through my hair. That's the third time she beat me! "Don't take it so hard, Urawa," she said. "After all, you didn't really expect to beat me, did you?" She made an attempt to arrogantly toss her hair back. "Why you..." Not really knowing why, I went over to her side and started to tickle her ribs. Instead of pushing me away, as I would have expected, she fell to the floor and tried to scrunch up into a ball. "He...he... no... stop it," she gasped, but I kept up my assault. She made a feeble attempt to get my hands off, but I retaliated by jabbing my fingers into her sides, firmly. She squealed and reflexively twisted her body around. We got tangled, and then I was suddenly on top of her, pinning her arms down. "What're you gonna do now?" I said, grinning evilly. She returned my grin. "Shining-" "Okay! Okay!" I slipped off of her and we both lay on our backs, panting. I couldn't believe we did that. The phone rang just then. Ami let out a long sigh before getting up and picking up the wall phone in the walk-in kitchen. I let out a sigh of my own before folding my arms behind my head. Wow. I remember there was a time when she would turn white as a sheet when I touched her hand, but she was so different now. I liked it a lot. I laid there, basking in my own glow of happiness before Ami appeared at the kitchen doorway. "Urawa, someone's on the phone for you. He says that he's your uncle." I frowned. How did he find Ami's phone number? My parents didn't tell him, so unless he went through my- Doesn't he have any respect for other people's privacy? I got up and took the phone from Ami's hands. "Hello." "Urawa, get the hell over here, right now." The voice on the other end was slurred and inconsistent. It was my uncle, allright. "But it's only 9:45-" "I said, get over here!" he screamed through the reciever. A sudden pang of fear gripped at my heart, but I fought it back down and replaced it with anger. "I'm coming," I said vehemently, and hung up. Ami had a concerned look on her face. "Is everything all right?" The mood had changed from bright to bleak in a matter of seconds. "I'm fine," I muttered. "I've got to go home now." I turned towards the door. He had to ruin our evening, didn't he? That bastard. I didn't care how angry he was, I was going to tell hm off when I got back. "I'll try to come back tomorrow, Ami." She managed a grim smile. "Thanks. I could use the company." It took me a full hour to walk across town to my uncle's house. I didn't feel like using the bus. I had a good feeling something was going to happen between us, something that would have changed the way we thought about each other. I had been waiting for that day for three years. Oh well. I sighed as I reached for the house key in my pocket and unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the dim interior of the building. The TV was blaring at it's highest volume setting, as usual, and everything was a mess. Typical. I stepped in and shut the door behind me, scrunching my nose at the stench of alcohol that wafted through the halls. Doesn't my uncle have the slightest- "Where the hell were you." My uncle appeared at the living room doorway. His face was unshaven, his eyes red and puffy from lack of sleep and from staring at the television all day long. He was clad only in a pair of old and oil-stained jeans. In one hand he gripped a can of beer. The sight of him made me want to puke. "You should know. You called me there!" I snapped back. "You were at a girl's house, weren't you?" He began to advance on me. I was prepared for that question. "So what if I'm at a girl's house? My parents don't have a problem with it." I began to back ever so slightly because of the space that was diminishing between us. "I AM NOT YOUR PARENTS!" he exploded. He reached out with a quickness that I had not thought possible for a man as drunk as him, grabbed the collars of my jacket, hoisting me up until I was staring dead straight at his face. "AS LONG AS YOU ARE HERE, YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" Spittle from his mouth splashed all over my face. I had to hold my breath to avoid the overwhelming smell of beer. "Fine!" I said defiantly, although the fear that had resided in my stomach all evening began to rise again. "Then I guess I'll just-" "SHUT UP!" He hurled me back to the floor. Then, with a crazy look in his eyes, he undid the belt in his jeans and raised it high above his head. "YOU SHUT UP ONCE AND FOR ALL!" He brought it down on my back. And across my face. My thighs. My arms. He brought it down again. And again. And again. I quietly shut the door to my bedroom and limped to my bed after crawling up the stairs. I didn't want to turn on the lights for fear of what I would see in the mirror. Downstairs I could hear him yelling at no one in particular, pacing back and forth in the hallway. I gave a trembling sigh and eased my bruised body into the bed, and promptly pulled the covers over myself, including my face. Oh god. How I hurt. But one word was running through my mind. Ami...Ami...Ami. I drifted into a half-asleep, half awake state, whispering that name over and over. I curled into a fetal position and put my thumb in my mouth. I closed my tear-filled eyes. Sometime later, I heard my door open, and a small shaft of light sillhouetted the figure in the doorway as he made his way to the bed and slid under the covers, his naked front side pressing against my back. I hardly responded when my uncle started rubbing my butt, and then later reached around and undid my zipper on my pants and shoved his hand in there, which brought tears to my eyes again. My heart was pounding. Then he pulled my pants down. I tried to move away, a shaky 'no' barely escaping my lips, but he then grabbed me by the hair and yanked me back. He whispered into my ear, "You don't need girls. You have me. Did I ever tell you how handsome you are..." his voice trailed off as he began to tear away at my innocence. All I could think of was one thing. Ami... Oh, Ami. I was running to her house. That was the only place I could go now. My uncle had left the bedroom after he had done his deed to pass out on the living room couch. All I took with me were the clothes on my back the picture in my bedroom as I slipped out the window, jumped down from the tree and began my sprint across town, my muscles screaming from the abuse they had taken earlier. But I didn't stop until I reached her front door at around midnight. The lights were off, but I pressed the doorbell desperately. A minute later, and Ami opened the door, cautiously at first. "Urawa?" "It's me." I stood so that the street light shot it's beam behind me, shrouding my face in darkness. I didn't want her to see me yet. "I need to come in," I said rather pathetically. She must have heard it in my voice, for she stepped aside without a word to let me in. I followed her up the stairs and into her bedroom. Her desk lamp was on, and a copy of Alvin Toffler's Future Shock lay open. Her bed was made neatly, as usual. Not a single poster or sign decorated her walls; on the shelf in a corner of the room was a television and various pictures of her and her mother. I took a seat on the bed, and she sat down right next to me. "What's the matter?" She turned to face me. "Oh, my god." I gave her a tired look. "Ami, there's something I have to tell you..." I began. I told her my story. Every detail. I could see the color drain from her face and her eyes become misty by the time I finished. Afterwards, we just sat there for a full minute, staring blankly at each other. I was the first to recover. "I need to use your shower." "Ok." She was still shaken when she led me to her walk-in bathroom. I took off my dirty clothes and stepped into the bathtub, closing the shower curtains and turning on the showerhead. The scalding water felt like acid against my welts and bruises, but the pain still did not stay my mind from it's disturbing train of thought. Did I have to tell her? Did I have to upset her with this? Of course you do. She cares for you, after all. Why did I come here? Now she's involved! I turned my head away from the spray,a pair of tears already spilling down my cheeks. I was fighting a losing battle, I knew, and so I let my grief take over as I slid down the side of the wall and put my face in my hands. I shouldn't have told her. I hurt her. I reached out and shut off the showerhead abruptly, and drew back the curtain. My heart was hardened. I took a towel and dried myself off. I've hurt her. I got my clothes on. I hurt her. I opened the bathroom door. I have to leave. She's standing there, looking at me. I can see it in her eyes. Was it pity? "I can't stay here,Ami." She didn't say anything. "I'm sorry." I turned to leave. All of a sudden, she was behind me, desperately wrapping her arms around my waist. "Please don't go," she begged. "You can stay here with me!" "I can't stand to see you like this. I have to go. I've caused you enough pain tonight!" I took a step forward, despite the weight that I was dragging along. "Urawa, wait! I love you!" My heart pinched in my chest as I stopped dead in my tracks. She couldn't have- Ami felt me slacken, and she slowly turned me around until I was looking right at her, and the expression on her was unmistakable. "I love you," she repeated, the she softly kissed me on the forehead. The barrier that I had built up between us crumbled to dust and I melted into her arms as I sobbed uncontrollably. "I-I'm sorry, Ami. I'm sorry for everything." I could feel the warm wetness of her own tears splash onto my chest. "Please don't be." She led me over to her bed, and laid down with me, running her hands through my hair. "Ami," I said, my voice cracking. "Yes?" "I love you, too." "I know." She kissed me again as I fell asleep, safe, in her arms. I awoke to the sweet but slightly annoying sound of birds chirping in the tree outside the window in Ami's bedroom. I opened my eyes slowly, panicking for a second at my surroundings, then remembering where I was. I turned my head. Ami slept peacefully behind me, her face the utter personnification of serenity. Her blue hair was slightly frizzed, and a small trickle of saliva escaped her lips and made a trail down her face to the bedsheets, enough to look cute. Her arms were still wrapped around me, and the palms of her hands were pressed against my chest. A small smile was on her as her eyes moved behind her their lids. She must be dreaming. I lay there for a long moment, basking in the feeling of warmth that I haven't felt for a long time, if ever. I loved her, and she loved me back. It was wonderful. Eventually I felt my stomach begin to rumble, and at that I slowly maneuvered out of her loving embrace, and replaced me with a pillow. She shifted a bit before sighing and returning to her slumber. Going into her washroom, I closed the door, turned on the light and looked into the mirror. Most of my bruises and scars had dissapeared, at least the minor ones did, the others would go away in a few days. But it was what else he had done that chilled me to the bone. I didn't want to think about it, and the longer I looked at myself in the mirror, the more I hated myself for letting him do that to me. I felt something, something strangely familiar, comforting but frightening at the same time as I looked at myself. I found myself singing something in a language I didn't understand, not fully anyway. I finally looked away, opened the cabinet door and took out some mouthwash, rinsing my mouth out, then washing my face and hands. I left the bathroom and decided to go down to the kitchen. Perhaps cooking would get my mind off it, at least. I had finished mixing together the omelet and began to fry it when a pair of hands closed over my eyes. "Guess who?" the all-too-familiar voice playfully said behind me. "Gee, let me think." Ho hum. I never knew I could cook without looking. "Silly." She gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning." "Ugh. Morning breath," I scrunched my nose. Ami gave me a light slap on the shoulder as she turned to go upstairs and wash up. I really liked the way we treated each other, now. Before everything we said was just matter-of-factly, like we were reading from a book or something. "Want to go for another ride, Urawa?" "Urawa, destiny is what you make it." "Self-sacrifice is noble, but not if you can avoid it." It wasn't exactly what we said, but how we said it. Like robots. Ami came back down as I set two plates for us at the table, along with everything else. She looked pleasantly surprised, that's for sure. "Wow, Urawa, that looks great. You may be some competition for Mako-chan." She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark-blue t-shirt. Anything that she wore looked stunning on her even if it was as plain as that. "Thanks." I handed her a cup of coffee I had just poured from the pot, poured one for myself, and sat down at the table. "So. Are you feeling better today," she carefully asked. I leaned back in my chair and stared down in my cup. I wasn't really too sure. "Sorry." she empathically reached over and placed her hand on mine. We went through breakfast without another word. As I was putting the dishes away, Ami had called up Usagi and company. After hanging up the phone, she came back into the kitchen with a smile on her face. "Guess what," she asked as she closed the dish cabinet door behind us, "Usagi and the others are going to the park for a picnic and then a movie at the mall afterwards." "Okay, Ami." We had arrived at the park two hours later, our meeting place. It was a nice area with a playground a distance away. Makoto had laid down a blanket on to the grass, and placed two lunch baskets (one for Usagi, the other for the rest of us) on it. She said that lunch wouldn't be served for another half an hour while she prepared it, so everybody had decided to go do something else besides wait. Rei had spotted a nature trail on the way here and wandered down it, and Minako and Usagi raced each other to the swings like two little girls that had never seen a playground before. I told Ami that I wanted to just go for a stroll by myself, so she opened a book that suddenly appeared in her hands and lay down on the blanket, beginning to read. I wandered off in the opposite direction of the playground after asking Mako-chan if she needed any help before I left. After a brief moment unwrapping coldcuts and opening tight jars (which was a wonder why she asked me because we both knew she could open those in her sleep), I was on my way. I wanted to be alone because the feelings I had felt this morning disturbed me slightly. When I thought about what my uncle had done to me, I felt anger, instead of the sadness and shame that I was expecting to feel. And the strange thing was that I wasn't the exact source of that anger, either. I tried to remember the song I was singing. I've heard it before, but where? The song sounded like a song someone would sing at a campfire, like a folk song, or a war song. The tune was annoyingly being recycled in my head over and over. I tried singing out loud a bit in the language I could partially understand, trying to figure out what it meant. Ok. Translated, it went sort of- My thoughts abruptly were cut off as I realized where I was. I had walked around in a big circle, and I had come to the aft part of the playground. Usagi and Minako were still on the swings, but the rest of the area was deserted, at least that was what I thought until I heard voices coming from a bench a ways beside me, but the view was obscured by a tall bush that extended past the foilage from which I came from. The bench was positioned so that the back was facing Usagi and Minako's back, so I guess they didn't notice anybody else was there, either. I caught floating bits of converstaion between what seemed like a young girl and her father. "You said my friends would be here." "I just wanted to spend some time with my special girl." "Daddy, please-" "It's okay. It's okay." I heard somewhat of a rustling. My eyes narrowed. "I don't want to-" "I just want to show how much I love you, sweetie." More rustling. I ground my teeth. "You're my very special girl." "Daddy, you're hurting me." The fear in her voice tore at my heart. I could catch the edge which her father had put in his voice. "You're making this difficult. Don't you trust me? I'm your father, aren't I?" I heard a light sound, like of cloth being pushed away or up. Yeah, that was it. I was fuming. I could picture this man taking advantage of his daughter like that, and it sickened me. My ears started to burn when the images of the girl and the father were superimposed with the picture of me and my uncle. I saw the entire horror show in my mind, over and over again, and I was in a confused haze of anger and shame. Then through it all, I heard a voice. It burns, doesn't it? Yes, it does, I answered, not paying attention that I was answering out loud to the voice in my head. You and your uncle. He took away your innocence. It was then that I realized that it was talking to me in that language again, and I understood him fully. A small part of my brain, the smidgen that wasn't confused, angry, or ashamed, began to think: Where have I heard that language? I can help you. The voice in my head was louder. The scene of my uncle and me played, then the imagined scene between the man and the girl. First one, than the other, than both of them together. No... I dropped to my knees. I will help you. The language. I suddenly knew the language. It was the language of the Dark Kingdom. Oh, my god, it's you. I looked at my hands. Were they covered in mud, or blood? Yes, it's me, Urawa. I can help you. That man is vile. So are you, I said back uncertainly. No, I'm not. I'm here to help you. Avenge the girl, Urawa. Avenge yourself. Your uncle. That man is no better than your uncle. Did you hear what he said? "You're my very special girl," I said out loud, although it wasn't me who spoke. I didn't realize how loud I had said it when I became aware of a shadow towering over me. I looked up and into the eyes of a man who stared back at me with a very angry expression in his eyes. Beside him was the girl, who was staring at me with a pitiful look on her. I could see the tear streaks in on her cheeks, and her pretty sundress was wrinkled. "What the fuck are you doing, huh?" he roared, picking me up by the collars of my shirt, then throwing me back with incredible strength for a scrawny man like him. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and stomped towards me. "I'm going to make you very sorry-" "Umm, do we have a problem here?" Startled, we both turned our heads to see Minako standing there, with her hands on her hips, her usual confident and disarming smile on her face. Usagi, was sort of shrinking behind her, keeping her eyes on the man. She was wearing a sheepish grin. "Yeah. Some people don't know how to mind thier own fucking business," he spat, returning his gaze to me. I met it somewhat shakily. You monster. You fucking monster. I felt good inside from all the rage. "Well I'm sure he didn't mean it, whatever he did. I'll talk to him, ok?" She did a silly "V" sign with her right hand. Aino Minako, the great peacemaker. The man growled and said to his daughter, "let's get out of here." "But Daddy-" He cut her off by forcefully grabbing her wrist and dragging her off to the parking lot. Minako and Usagi came to help me up. "So what was that all about, Urawa?" "I don't really want to talk about it, Minako." "You weren't really eavesdropping, were you? That's not nice, you know." She playfully scolded me. I glared at her, and she finally gave a shrug before taking me by the hand. "Come on, Mako-chan's probably finished fixing lunch now." While walking back, I looked at the parking lot and saw the father and girl. He opened the car door, then turned and gave the girl a slap right across the face before throwing her in and climbing in after her, speeding off. You let him get away. I know. It won't happen again. Don't worry, Urawa. With my help, it won't. Ever. The rest of the day was a total disaster, for me at least. I had become withdrawn and stayed behind the group, all the while thinking to myself. At the movie they decided to sit up front; I took the back row with Ami. I sat there silent, half watching the movie, and I think the only sign that I realized that Ami existed was that we were holding hands. Her hand was real sweaty- or was that mine? She glanced at me a few times as we walked home in the shadows of the streetlights that cast dismal pools of light at our feet. The air had a slightly humid touch to it which made the air somewhat pleasant. Above it was an overcast night, the city lights casting a purple pall on the clouds. She was the first to break the uneasy silence. "Urawa, please tell me what's bothering you." She squeezed my hand. "Is it about your uncle again?" "Uh-huh." She frowned. "It's more than that. Tell me." We stopped at her front door. I wished she would stop asking. "Look Ami, you wouldn't understand. You wouldn't know, ok?" I snapped suddenly, irritated at her. She turned me around to face her, a mixture of anger, frustration and sadness in her eyes. "You think I don't understand, do you? Do you think you're the only one that it's happened to?" I was somewhat taken aback, but I recovered. "Look Ami, I realize-" She was crying now. "Why don't you think I live with my father anymore?" Jesus H. Christ. She wasn't saying- "It's happened to me too, Urawa!" She turned away sobbing. She placed one hand over her forehead and the other on the porch rail. Fuck. I stood there for one minute 20 seconds, my heart racing in my chest. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "I've been such an asshole," I said quietly. Ami looked up at the sky, her eyes shimmering. "Whenever my mother left for a late night shift at the hospital, he would come up to my room..." She paused to rub her eyes. "And he would spend the night with me. I remember he kept telling me that it was a very special thing that fathers do to their children and that it showed me how much he loved me. He also told me that if I ever told my mother, I would be responsible for destroying my family. "I can still remember those nights. It hurt a lot. And when I tried to stop him, he would hit me and say, 'see what you made me do?' He made it all my fault." As if in a trance, she began to remove her T-shirt. I quickly looked away. We were at the front door of her house, right in the open? "Urawa, look at me," she said painfully. I had to comply. She was standing there, her T-shirt dropped to the floor, clad only in a bra and jeans. I knew immediately what she wanted me to see. A big red scar ran from a little below her neck and above her breast to the tip of her right shoulder. She took my hand and placed it on the scar. I slowly ran my fingers over it, feeling the roughness and uneven texture of the damaged skin. "I told my mother a year after he started. She was scared at first and decided not to believe me. But my father knew that I told her, I guess he could see it in the way my mother spoke to him from then on. The next night, he came after me with a lamp cord. He kept telling me how much more it hurt him than it did me and that I was being punished for my own good. "I ran away that night, Urawa, just like you did. I ran to my mother's hospital and showed her." "Oh god, Ami, I've been so fucking selfish." I wanted to kick myself. "It's allright, Urawa. I was like that, wallowing in my own self-pity. That's why I never talked to anyone. That's why I wanted to concentrate on my studies, and that's why I never wanted to become... involved with anybody. I was afraid they'd be just like my father. But Urawa, you were different, I could see it in you, even with that demon of yours. I fell in love that same day. "I understand what you're going through, and how you must feel right now. But I want you to remember that I'm here with you as well, and I want to help you." I sighed. "I've fucked up again, haven't I?" She managed a weak smile as she took me by the hand and led me into her house. "You never did, Urawa." "Ami?" "Yes?" she asked as we went up the steps into her room. "Don't you think you should put your shirt back on? Don't you feel cold?" "Not at all." She turned around to face me. I swallowed again. She sensed my uneasiness. "I want to help you, Urawa," she repeated, cupping a hand on my cheek. "I know the terrible picture you must have in your mind of you and your uncle. I know because I still one of my father, after all these years. But I want to help replace those ones with pictures of us. Together." Ami sat on the bed. "Please turn off the light." I did as she said that returned to sit beside her, looking at my feet. "I- ack. I've got butterflies in my stomach," I said, almost as a way of putting an end to this. "I'm just as nervous as you are. But yesterday I declared my love; tonight I want to show it to you. I've been trapped for too long, Urawa, and it hurts too much." She leaned towards me. I could only get in a nod of agreement and understanding before the gap that was between us over the years was finally filled with a tender kiss. It started slow and uneven, because we both really didn't know what the hell we were doing. Then I sensed the urgency building within Ami as she pressed her tongue harder until it penetrated my lips and met mine. At this moment I was a complete nervous wreck. I hadn't kissed a girl ever before in my life, and I was afraid that I wasn't doing it properly. My hands were sweaty and shaking. Frantic, I tried placing them on Ami's shoulders, but the perspiration made them slick and they slipped off. I placed them on her hips, but they kept slipping as well. I gave up and dropped my hands to my sides. Then Ami fell backward on the bed, and it suddenly became natural as I pressed down on her. I broke our kiss and went to her neck, playing with the soft skin there. Ami gripped my head with both her hands as I gently bit her. I came up for air, and we looked at each other. My right hand suddenly was on her shoulder, on top of the bra strap. Ami just stared at me. I knew her mind was screaming for me to do it. Ok. I slipped one finger, two fingers, three fingers under. I curled them around the thin strip of fabric, and I began to pull it off to the side. Okay, I can do this. I eased it another inch. Ami groaned. I was about to pull it off, then my finger ran over the top of her scar. Shit! I withdrew my hand as if a snake had bit me and pushed off of her. I breathed in short, laboured gasps, my body layered in sweat and shaking. "I- I can't, Ami. God, I'm sorry." I held my head in my hands. Why can't I do this? Ami rolled over and embraced me like she had last night, stroking my hair. "I'm sorry, Urawa. I shouldn't have pushed you." I let out a long sigh. "I don't know if I can do it, Ami. Maybe later." "Of course. We'll take this a day at a time, if you want to." I leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks for understanding." Then she snuggled into my neck and fell asleep. Sometime later, I did too. I awoke to a loud crash. I bolted up all of a sudden, momentarily disoriented. Where the hell- I remembered suddenly that I was in Ami's room, and it was still dark. The clock indicated it was just before midnight. Ami wasn't there, though. Where could- I heard shouting downstairs followed by another crash and thud. I jumped out of the bed and raced downstairs. I knew Ami was the owner of one voice but the other was- No. It was my uncle. Ami was standing behind the living room couch, shards of her prized chess set scattered behind her feet. My uncle stood a few feet away, ready to hurl a crystal bottle at her. The front door's lock was shattered beyond repair, hanging halfway through the doorknob. "WHERE IS HE?" he screamed. "TELL ME, YOU B-" "Enough!" I jumped the last four steps and landed between the both of them. He stared me down cold with those ebon eyes. "Urawa, you're coming home NOW." "Don't listen to him! Come here!" Ami screamed. He sneered. "You're never going to see another fucking girl again as long as you're with me. You've got me, and that's all you need." "You monster! He's never going to go with you! Urawa, get away from him! He's-" "SHUT UP!" I could see, in the moonlit dimness of the living room, the shiny black barrel of a semi-automatic handgun in my uncle's left hand, hammer cocked and aimed at Ami. "Urawa, come here." he said smoothly and evenly, although his gun hand was shaking from the effects of alcohol and apparent nervousness. He's pointing a gun at her. He wants to kill her. Are you going to let that happen? "No," I whimpered miserably. My uncle thought that I was speaking to him, and anger blazed in his eyes. "Boy, you are fucking coming with me." He began to advance. He going to take you home. You know what he'll do to you? Do you want that to happen? I had reached my boiling point. "NO!" I exploded, and pleasurable pain seared through my body in the form of demon's blood. It had been so long, I had almost forgotten how good it felt. Blood lust. That was all I could see, hear, taste, smell, and feel. This man was going to die today. I whirled around, my human features completely dissolved from me. All that was left was a crouching, clawed fanged nightmare seething at the mouth. My uncle took a glance back ant me and I could hear his heart stop beating. His eyes went wide with stark terror. "Dear God," he whispered. "Die," I said simply, and I leapt forward to perform the deed. His blood would taste so sweet. I had forgotten, though. Forgotten he still had the gun in his hand. As I pounced on him, his fear involuntarily sparked a neurotransmitter barrage from his brain to his trigger finger, and the gun fired. In Ami's direction. "Someone give me a goddamn staus on the patient!" the doctor bellowed as the stretcher was pushed through another set of swinging doors. The doctor had emerged from an adjoining room and was checking his watch every few seconds. He grabbed a clipboard from an orderly. "We've got a chest wound, bad. Bullet above and to the left of the heart." Everything was frantic. I tried my best to follow them but I had to give them enough room to let them do thier work. "Fuck! She's lost a lot of blood already. Where's Mariska? I need a litre here, now!" Hands pressed and poked all over Ami's limp body, feeling here, adjusting there, checking over there. The doctor took a needle syringe full of a clear liquid and injected it into her shoulder, wiping her arm with a cotton swab before tossing it over his shoulder. "Someone pick that up! Fuji!" "Yes, doctor," a nurse said crisply. "Tell Nakamura to get the operating room ready. Two minutes, stat!" They burst through another set of double doors. I followed eagerly, but a short distance later an orderly stopped me. "Sorry, you'll have to go to the waiting room." He turned me around and pointed me back down the hall. I craned my neck back to see them push my love around the corner, then I began my lethargic trot down to the waiting room. It was all my fault, I knew it. I had been so encompassed in my own rage that I had forgotten about Ami's safety alltogether, and now she was paying the price for my fuck-up. I was so overcome with grief that I had forgotten all about my uncle, who had ran away screaming. All I saw was her, staring at me with eyes that struck me like a sledgehammer. I could barely hear the whispered gasp for help before she closed her eyelids and let out a long sigh. I heard the air hissing from her lungs. In her hand was the transformation pen. The first thing I did was scream bloody hell as I picked up her body and held it close, cradling it as if I were holding a doll. Thank god I had the presence of mind to call for an ambulance before it was too late. Myfaultmyfaultmyfault were the only words cycling through my head as I opened the door to the waiting room. They were all there, I had called them as well before I got here. Minako and Usagi were holding on to each other and crying pitifully. Makoto sat erect, staring blankly out into space. She looked like was refusing herself to shed even a single tear. But Rei's expression scared me the most. She had on the most frightening stare I ever beheld, and that ws partly because I had no idea what it meant. It looked like she was accusing me, then feeling sorry for me, then saying nothing at all with her eyes. I quickly averted mine and took a seat far away from them. You let your uncle get away, Urawa. "Shut up," I told myself. "I'm not listening to you any more." Ami's friends are here, so you don't have to worry about her any more. We'll, find your uncle, and then- "NO!" I got up. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!" Boiling with anger and self-hatred, I punched the vending machine before me. My knuckles clipped the side of the coin lever and scraped the skin away, drawing blood. I didn't care. I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I didn't bother to look back. Let them speak, then I would decide whether they deserved an answer or not. "Urawa, it won't do you any good," Mamoru's voice from behind me said in his soft baritone. "Please sit down. You'll be able to see her soon enough." I tried to be angry, but I couldn't. I quietly returned to my seat. Before sitting down beside me, he pulled out something and dropped in into my lap. "Take this," he whispered. "It's the least I could do." I took the rose and held it in my hands. "Thanks." "Don't mention it." I was admitted into the room three hours later. The hospital was quiet at this time of night, which left us with no disturbance as the nurse quietly shut the door behind me, leaving only the two of us in the room. I was at her side in an instant. I think the words Snow White would have best described the state of peace she was in, despite the severity of the wound. Even with the tubes and pipes coming out of her and the machines hooked up to her, she looked as natural as ever, her eylids closed and her chest rising and falling at a sedate and even pace. I knelt before her like some kind of beleagured prince. "Ami-" I began, resuming after choking down a lump that had materialized in my throat. "I'm terribly sorry for this. I mean, I know now that I shouldn't have gotten you dragged into my affairs. Look where you've ended up." I let out a bitter laugh. "It seems that like whenever I'm around, something happens to you. The first time we met, I very nearly ripped you apart with that blasted demon of mine. And that other time, when we were fighting Endymion in the park, I risked your life just so I could go to the amusement park with you. And just now, god..." I stood up again. "Ami, I think it's time you stopped being my fall guy. Maybe it would be better if I went one way and let my troubles follow. Please, please don't think I love you any less, because nothing could be further from the truth." I remembered the rose that Mamoru gave me. "Here. It's from me- I mean Mamoru- I don't know. I'll wait until we can talk to each other, and I'll tell you. I'll be waiting. Goodbye, Ami." I placed the rose in her right hand, and leaned over to give her a kiss on the forehead, tasting her creamy skin for a final time. Then I silently left and went back to the waiting room, telling the others that it was their turn. I was still in the waiting room, alone half an hour later, staring at the picture that I had in my pocket all this time. My perspiration and the heat had faded the picture away, and all I could make out now was her blue shock of hair and eyes, looking so happy. I dropped the picture and cried. After a minute or so, I wiped my eyes so that I saw a pair of blue knee-high boots standing in front of me. Those boots belonged to a pair of beautiful legs, which went under a beautiful skirt, and a beautiful suit, and a beautiful bow and beautiful- Sailor Mercury looked back at me with a sad smile, her lips trembling, her eyes shimmering. She held a hand to her right ribcage, and she had some of her weight shifted on her left leg. "Ami! How can you-" "I'll be fine... uhhh..." She grimaced at the last word as she pressed into her ribs a bit. Her legs were shaking, fighting a losing battle to keep upright. "Ami!" I was immediately there. I grabbed her around the waist, so that she could lean frontwards on me for a minute. I heard her breaths, short and raspy. A warm glow then surround her for a second, and she propped herself up on her own feet, but did not let me release my grip on her. "It's the gizinishou crystal. I wish it could work on the rest of the Sneshi as well as it does on Sailor Moon, but it'll have to do." "What about the bed? If the nurses find out-" She cut me off again. "The Henshin Pen has that one. Usagi and the others wanted to take my place so I could speak to you." A pause. "Oh, Urawa, it isn't true, is it?" "Mercury," I said, using her other name on purpose. "It's for your own safety." "Don't you understand, Urawa? I don't care. If I cared about my own safety, I would have thrown you out of the house that night, or I would have thrown my Sailor fuku away so I could lead a safe life. But it isn't for me, Urawa. I have a destiny that I shaped ever since the first day I became Sailor Mercury. It's my duty to protect. Especially my friends. And especially you." "But I feel like everything I do is going to hurt you. It's not a fair trade, Ami." "I told you, I don't care. Please, don't leave." I looked into her eyes again and I knew that the moment I did, I wouldn't. There was another long silence. I took my eyes off her and to the picture on the floor. She followed my gaze and saw it to. Then, she picked it up, and ripped it in half. Quarters. Eighths. Sixteenths. She let the pieces flutter to the ground, then clasped my hand in hers. "You don't need it anymore, Urawa. You have me." After a third silence, I managed to speak once again. "Ami, I'm sorry about another thing." "What's that?" "I'm sorry that we never finished what we started tonight. Especially when I saw you on the bed, and one of the thoughts that was running through my mind was that we'd never get another chance to. But I... I want to make it up to you." She was bright once again as she ran her gloved hand across my cheek. "I was hoping you would, love." She kissed me once, then said slowly, "Sailor Teleport." "Where are we going?" I asked as we began to phase out. "Somewhere." "Oh." "Let me show you my love, Urawa." And show me she did. FINISH!!! WAHOO I'M FINALLY DONE . 't think I love you any less, because nothing could be furth?!But I feel like everything I do is going to hurt you. It1_A Sailor Moon Story by Victor Naqvi. (vnaqvi@geocities.com) The Author's Wonderful Notes! -Well folks, it's me again. This is my second attempt at writing something like this, so I hope that I've done a better job at it. Hmm... Okay if you've browsed the first few lines of this story it looks like a mushy-type love story, involvng our favorite Ms. Mizuno, otherwise known as Sailor Mercury, and one Mr. Urawa Ryo (Greg to all the NA viewers). So far, I have seen about two or three other fanfics that had this guy, and let me tell you potential writers something. His potential as a charcter in a story is phenominal. Plus the fact that he's been so under-used allowed me to play with his background and forge him in my own vision, which was a relief from the narrow lines one must follow when writing a Scout/Senshi story. Another thing that I'd like to point out. This fanfic is highly volatile, that is it contains some pretty controversial material, to which some might react in a way that would not be very good. I hope you don't think that I'm underestimating your ability to swallow stuff like this down; it's just that I don't want anybody to be offended. Thank you. Legal stuff: Sailor Moon is the property of one Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansya Comics/Toei Animation, and DiC in the US. (I dunno... After G.I. Joe, they sort of lost their touch. :P) The following people I would like to dearly thank. Jon Carp, who has been really wonderful these past few weeks in helping me get my ideas down straight and showing me the path less taken away from the mundane. Thank you very much. Andrea Hui, who was the first person I ever met on the Internet, and one of the greatest storytellers I have ever read. Despite her busy schedule, she has put much time and effort into making sure our stuff is as close to a masterpiece as possible. Thank you. Tim Nolan, who has a knack for being extremely arcane in his writing style, and it works. He has taken precious time from his life to make sure I saw my mistakes and I would like to thank him for proofreading my many revisions and being such a burden to him. Artemis and Luna, whom I have spoke to for the first time not a couple days ago, for allowing me to put my stuff up on their site and using up their disk space, as well as being a constant yet welcome influx of ideas. Neeraja Potaraju, for showing me that there IS a bright side, after all. And lastly, Matthew Henderson Andrea Hui(again) Richard Lok Albert Luk For introducing me to the wonderful world of Sailor Moon despite myself, and the even more wonderful world of Anime in general. (Gotta love that BubbleGum Crisis!) Anything else? Oh yes... I wrote this while listening to a lot of sutff, but the things I would like to point out that inspired me is a some stuff from Metallica's Metallica album as well as a couple of songs from the Sailor Moon Soundtrack (not the NA one, the Japanese one) and also the AMAZING WONDERFUL music from the Macross Plus Instumental CD. If you are able to find it, GET IT! Talk about epic! This is by far one of the best anime CD's I have ever heard, the orchestral stuff is really good. Seriously folks, stuff like classical really gets the creative juices flowing.