This is my sixth Sailor Moon fan fiction story. It could be considered both a preface and a postscript to my previous five stories. The last chapter may contain spoilers both for the Sailor Moon series and for my own stories, particularly 'Secrets'. Suitable for all ages. Ken Wolfe Ken_Wolfe@mbnet.mb.ca ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Pictures at an Exhibition Picture 1 - Ami She calls it the Usagi Special Tokyo Shop-til-You-Drop Tour. I think I would be less exhausted if I spent all day doing laps in the pool. I've just met her, yet I've already learned something important from her. Every person has at least one passion, and when pursuing that passion they can show inhuman endurance. I have actually lost count of the number of malls we have gone through. Yet I am sure that if I asked her she could tell me without fail the name of every shop that we have visited today. Usagi's passion is shopping. And Ice Cream. The one must provide the energy she burns when pursuing the other. We are trying on sunglasses. I would never buy one of these pair, of course. None of them even have proper UV protection. Still, we are trying on sunglasses. She points at me and laughs. I glance in the mirror, and I can't help but doing the same. I am not nearly as loud, it is Usagi's carrying on that is attracting glances. I should be embarrassed, but I am not. I cannot explain it yet, but somehow things are different when I am with her. Somehow, certain things just don't matter as much. Or maybe it has more to do with the way the earth has moved. When I woke up two days ago I was Mizuno Ami, a junior high school student living in Tokyo, having every expectation of becoming a doctor one day. When I woke up this morning, I was something utterly different. I was a warrior with powers I had no business having fighting creatures that had no business existing in my world. I should be terrified and bewildered, but I am not. As I said, things are different when I am with her. Now we are in a bookstore. I didn't even notice when she disappeared. Being alone here is more natural for me. I can lose myself for hours in a bookstore. It is like being brought out of a trance when she suddenly appears again, asking if I am done. Of course I say that I am, I know she has many more shops left on our itinerary. I ask her to show me what she has picked out. She is such a bright and energetic companion, who seems to have an opinion on any topic however grand or trivial. Her reading must be both voracious and varied. It's all manga. I try not to look too surprised. She reads the titles of the books I picked out and reacts as if they had turned into scorpions. My illusion shatters. She doesn't see it. I'm certain she doesn't. Hope she doesn't. I nod and give the right answers as she chatters while I'm thinking. I'm very good at that. One of my few exceptional social graces. The talking cat told me that she is Sailor Moon, my leader. There was some awkwardness in her tone when she said that. Something like the tone with which mom would assure me that everything was okay between her and dad, the tone she used right up to the day they divorced. Of course I didn't even think of questioning, but I wondered and worried. Did Usagi harbour some secret, was there something wrong with her, was she terrified of the creatures we fight but hiding it for my sake? As I look at her, the answer becomes obvious. She thinks like a child. She is no champion of love and justice, she is a child. My illusion shatters. Another jewellery store. She sees two broaches she likes and agonizes over them for a while. Which one to choose? She asks me and I tell her which one I like. She agonizes some more and eventually picks that one, fully convinced she has good reasons. But she has no reasons, I could have picked either, she would have gone right along, convinced she had made the choice herself. A quiet dread settles over me. Her bravery is borne of ignorance. She has no more idea what we're fighting than I do. She's going to get us killed. We pass by a McDonalds and she suggests we get something to eat. Absently, I agree. I don't know why I order something as heavy as a hamburger, I really don't have much of an appetite. In fact, my stomach feels like it's tied up in knots. I am thinking of how my life might depend on this silly girl someday. She snaps my picture just as I am taking a bite out of my hamburger. With flash, no less. "What are you doing?" I snap, immediately regretting the sharpness in my voice. But she is as oblivious as ever. "I just wanted a record of our first shopping trip together, that's all," she says cheerily. She pops the little disposable camera back into her purse. "It won't be a very flattering picture," I say, not hiding my irritation. "My dad says candid pictures are always the best ones," she says. "I guess I take after him. But all fathers really seem to like taking embarrassing pictures of their kids. Isn't yours like that too?" "I haven't seen my father in years." "Oh right, you said he's an artist, not a photographer." Oblivious. "Right." "Did he ever do any pictures of you?" "No, he does mostly landscapes." "You must have a lot of them piled up by now." I blink. "Huh?" "I mean, all the pictures he sends you." "Yes. He sends me lots of pictures. I don't remember telling you about that." I am speaking mostly to myself. Her face slips into an enigmatic, Mona Lisa smile. "You didn't say much about him, but I could tell you were really close. If he's an artist, he couldn't help sending you his pictures. He'd have to." I'm not sure how to respond to that. I fall back on relating facts, something I'm always comfortable with. "He works mostly in pencils or charcoal. Sometimes he'll do ink drawings, or watercolours. They're nice, but the pencil sketches are still my favourites. They're mostly very simple, but he can really bring out the highlights of a landscape with just a few lines. I really feel like I've been to all the places he's visited, just looking at how he's captured them. Even when I look at photographs of those same places, somehow they pale by comparison." Why am I suddenly rambling? She doesn't seem to mind, but I'm probably boring her. Best wrap this up. "Anyway, if you're ever at my place, I can show you some of them if you're interested." "Are you sure you want to show them to me?" I'm not sure what she's getting at. "Well, obviously I only have space in my room to hang a couple of them, but I've put the rest into portfolio books. They're just in my closet, it would be no trouble at all." Something about the smile that suddenly lights up her face makes me feel like I've just done something... significant. "That's really nice of you Ami, I'll bet you don't show them to many people." It suddenly occurs to me that I've never showed them to anyone. Only my mother even knows about them. I only ever bothered to ask if she wanted to see the first set that dad sent. She declined very politely, but after that I knew there was no point asking again. "Uh.... no, no I don't." "Well, we've got lots more shopping to do today so we won't have time. Maybe we can get together next weekend." *More* shopping? "Sure. My mom will be out but she... doesn't mind my having people over." That is she wouldn't have minded, if it had ever happened before. "Gee, that's too bad, I sort of wanted to meet her. Oh, right! That reminds me, we're having sukiyaki at my place day after tomorrow. I haven't asked yet, but I'm sure it would be okay to invite you. I want you to meet my folks. You'll have to meet my bratty brother too, but he's not too bad as long as his big sister's around to keep him in line. Uh... is that not a good day for you?" "No, it's fine. Thank you, I'd love to come." She must have misinterpreted my reaction. My mind had suddenly gone in several different directions at once. Just minutes ago I had dismissed the idea of asking her this. I'm not sure why I've changed my mind. "Usagi, can I ask you something sort of personal?" "Sure." "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." She just cocks her head, looking a bit puzzled. "What is it?" "Have you told your family about who you are?" She shakes her head. "No. I don't like keeping it a secret, but if I told them they would always be worrying about me." Then her face takes on a sad, worried expression. I don't know why, but it gets my heart beating faster. Nobody has ever looked at me with such a feeling of earnest sympathy. "Ami, are you wondering whether to tell your mother?" she asks very softly. I just nod my head, eyes cast down. I was about to ask her my real question, ask her if she was afraid they would regard her differently, regard her as a freak or a monster. But I don't think the thought would even occur to her. Her only concern was that they would be worried about her. She trusts her family's feelings for her implicitly, unquestioningly. I feel guilty. And envious. I am startled by her taking my hand. I involuntarily look up and am paralyzed by a gaze that is so intensely personal it is frightening. "Ami, I know you must hate keeping a secret from her. I hate it too. It would feel so good to tell them, they'd be so proud of me. But if they knew, they'd want to protect me from these things we're fighting. That's what parents are like. I... just don't want them getting into any trouble because of me." She lets go of my hand and looks away. I find myself regretting that. Her touch and her gaze were so comforting. She looks embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you what to do. I mean, you have to do what you think is right." When she looks at me again, I manage to smile. "No, I think you're right. It would be better if she doesn't know. Thank you, Usagi." I'm happy to see how relieved she looks. "Sure, that's what friends are for." It's as clear as day, she isn't just saying that. She's known me for two days, but somehow I know that she would do anything for me, anything at all. My feeling of dread has melted away, all but forgotten. Usagi ordered twice the food I did, but I am hard pressed to keep up with her. She drags me out again and I feel like that poor anime character C-Ko being whisked along by a human whirlwind. I am astonished by the precision with which she has planned this shopping spree. We are at the last stores on the itinerary just minutes before they close. She manages to find an ice cream shop on the way back to the station. It is late by the time we are headed home, the subway car has only a handful of people. "You didn't buy much," Usagi notices. "Just small things." I've ended up helping Usagi carry her own booty, including that silly cat-clock that I had to lend her money to buy. "You should treat yourself more, you know. Even buying just a little special thing is great for relieving stress. I mean look at me, I've still got all my homework to do, and do I look worried?" It must be several seconds before I can convince myself that she is serious. "You haven't done any of your homework yet?" I ask very quietly. "Nope, not a bit. Too busy planning our day on the town. And the arcade of course." We are in the same class, have the same assignments. It took me all day yesterday. All *day*. What on Earth was she thinking, leaving it until now? I debate offering to help her, but it just seems too hopeless. By the time we get home it will be time to go to sleep! A girl screams and I'm on my feet before the echo dies. My mind bifurcates. All too fresh in my memory are the screams of my fellow juku students as they are drained of life by their obscenely mutated teacher. Then I look at the scene before me and a woman slaps her young son's head and scolds him for having pulled his sister's pigtail. I manage to sit down again before anyone notices. With all the effort I can muster I keep each breath from being drawn in as a gasp. My heart is racing but at least it's a steady beat now. I'm not shaking too badly either. "Ami, are you okay?" Softly, her worry hidden just enough so it won't be obvious, won't attract attention. I just nod, still taking in great gulps of air. She gives me the time I need to calm down. I finally look at her. She is really trying to hide her concern. She smiles. "I don't know what scared me more, her screaming or your jumping up," she says lightly. "I'm sorry, I feel silly." I want to follow her lead, just make light of it. But somehow that would be wrong. I don't know how I know, but that's not what she wants. She wants to help. I've never admitted anything like this to anyone. But I've never met anyone like Usagi before, anyone I feel that I can trust so completely. It's still hard. "I guess I'm still shook up from the other day. I'm jumping at shadows." "What shadows?" I smile a bit. "It's just an expression." I reconsider telling her my real problem, the severe paradigm shift I'm going through, trying to incorporate monsters and magical powers into my world view. She's sweet and I'm sure she'd listen, but I don't think there's much point. But a moment later she does seem to catch on. She points discretely over to the little girl, now being consoled by her mother. "You thought...?" I nod. "I think I'll be seeing youma in every shadow for a while. I don't really feel like a Senshi right now, I just feel scared." "Gee, you did a lot better than I did. I mean, I couldn't do *anything* right on my first day. Go ahead and ask Luna, I'm sure she'd be happy to tell you all about it," she says dryly. "You had that fog up in two seconds flat. And that bit with your reflection in the monitor screen, that was classic!" "I didn't really think about it," I confess. "It just sort of happened." "Well there you go!" she suddenly enthuses. "You're a natural. You're born to be Mercury. You knew that the minute Luna told you about it." I frown, not sure if her statement came out right. "What do you mean?" Again, that Mona Lisa smile. "I could see it in your face. You looked like... I don't know, like you had this Zen thing going, like all of a sudden it all made sense." It's like she's opened a doorway into a part of myself I had never seen before. She's right, as soon as Luna spoke the words it had all fallen into place. For days... no, for months I think, I had been sinking into a pit of depression, of restlessness that had no outlet I could imagine. In that moment I had finally found what it was I was missing. It's so obvious, why did I need Usagi to tell me? She blushes a little. "Sorry, I guess that sounded kind of silly. That's what happens when I try to be profound." I smile at my friend. "No, it made perfect sense. Thank you Usagi, I'm really not scared anymore." "Neither am I, now that you're here to help me. We're going to make a great team." "You know, you haven't told me anything about the other monsters you've fought. We should talk about it, try to find their strengths and weaknesses, try and plan for when we have to fight them again." Her face falls, and with a pang of guilt I realize that my timing was bad. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. This was supposed to be our day to unwind." She shakes her head, now averting her eyes. "I don't mind talking about it," she says softly. "It's just that... well, each one of them has been so different, showing up and hurting people in some totally different way. Luna has been helping me as much as she can, but really I've just been making it up as I go along. If they come again, it'll probably be different again. I can tell you're the type who really thinks a lot before doing things, but when the youma have come I haven't had any time to think. It's like when you became Mercury and just sort of acted on instinct. That's the way it's probably going to have to be. I don't know, do you think I'm just using that as an excuse for screwing up so much?" I shake my head, but it's more in wonder than to respond in the negative. It is another one of the simple insights that she tosses off like they were nothing. I wonder how I could have thought the things of her that I had just a short while ago. Right now, I feel like the child. I really want to thank her in some way, and I make up my mind. "Usagi, I know it's late, but would you like me to come over to your place and help you get at least some of your homework done?" "No, that's okay. I need my beauty sleep. But do you think tomorrow before school I could at least copy your answers to that algebra assignment? If I don't at least get some marks there I might flunk math altogether." I suppress a sigh. I wonder if she will always be such an enigma to me. Picture 2 - Rei Gods, she's doing it again. "Usagi, just what is so interesting about my eating an ice cream cone?" She pops her disposable camera back into her handbag. "You can tell a lot about a person by the way they eat their ice cream." "For instance...?" "For instance, I know you won't start anything until you've finished what you're doing now. I mean, just look at it," she says, pointing to the cone in my hand. "You've licked it down to where it looks like Mount Fuji and you haven't even touched the cone yet." "It's hot out today. I don't want it melting all over me." "Rei, you just don't get it. Licking melted ice cream off your fingers is part of the total experience. You should treat the ice cream as your friend, get to know it in all its... um, in all its..." "Aspects?" "Yeah, that's it. In all its aspects." "Well, each to their own." I take a bite out of the cone. Her silly nonsense must have worn on me, somehow I get a spot of it on my nose. "Oh, oh, oh..." she's desperately rummaging through her handbag, thrusting her other hand out in a hold-that-pose gesture. "U-SA-giii!!" I don't believe this. I'm suddenly thinking of the first time I met her. It was at the shrine, where I rescued her and her two friends from grandpa's crude attempt at flirtation. The three girls looked at me and had the usual reaction, I could practically lip-sync it with them I've heard it so often. Wow she looks so cool so pretty it must be so cool being a shrine maiden maybe I could work here a while and wear those nice shrine maiden robes. Right away I pegged her as just another one who would give up after the first time she spends all day sweeping the leaves off the grounds. She still probably thinks I didn't see her taking that picture of me afterwards. Something to tuck away for later, spring on her when she's feeling too pleased with her talent for candid shots. I clean myself up before she can speeddraw her camera, and she is heartbroken. I ignore her, and continue my way through the park, letting her hurry to catch up. It is our second visit to Dreamland. The theme park is more crowded than the first time we were here. I suppose they have us to thank for that. All the people who had been disappearing here were found shortly after we got rid of the youma that had been kidnapping them and draining their energy like a blood bat. The story the police came up with was priceless. We were supposed to believe that people were being lured into an unused building in the park where there was some sort of opium den/crack house place foisting a drug that caused amnesia as a side effect. But Ami assured me that some of the stories they came up with to explain away other youma were even more precious. I feel a bit wistful at the thought of our fellow Senshi, Sailor Mercury. She's got a self confidence problem but at least she has some common sense. I wish I was doing this with her. But her suggestion that we split up was a good one. She's learning more about how that computer of hers can detect youma, and now that I've felt the presence of two of them close up I'm more confident that I could sniff them out if they're near. And I know why Luna suggested I be paired off with Usagi. We need to learn to work together, but by Hell the girl doesn't make it easy. "Oh look!" she suddenly pipes up. "It's the Dream Princess!" Sure enough, they've found a girl to replace the youma who was impersonating their original Dream Princess. Kids are having their pictures taken with her and the animatronic robot animals that are wandering around with her. She's playing the role quite well too, sort of a Snow White in pink. Usagi is suddenly holding her camera out to me. "Rei, do you mind?" Oh for... no, why fight it. I just take the camera and snap the picture when her turn comes up. Even some of the little kids look bored but she is really into it. I have to take another of her riding the lion. She waves and flashes that smile that is just so bright and eager and innocent it's scary. I can see why she's a spoiled brat. She must have been too cute for words as a kid. The grownups would probably do anything to make her stop crying, and she would reward them with that dazzling smile when she got what she wanted. Just like she weaseled her way into copying Ami's chemistry assignment last week. I can see just how she operates. The smile and the tantrum, the carrot and the stick. We continue on our way. "So do you feel any youma?" she asks for the fourth time today. "No, nothing." "We've been all over this place, I guess we took care of the only one here." She sounds bored, like she wants to stop walking around and go on a ride or something. "Maybe." We weren't really expecting to find anything here, especially since the disappearances have stopped. As Ami pointed out, they never seem to try the same thing twice. Still, I'm not going to let Usagi turn that into an excuse for goofing off. We finally reach the place I really wanted to check out: the Cake House. Picture a cross between Snow White's castle and candy house that lured Hansel and Gretel into the witch's den. We go in through the great open candy-stripe gates and the smell of sweets is almost suffocating. The kids are having a ball. A lot of what's here is being given away as free samples. Of course the big boxes of goodies to take home are priced appropriate to a major theme park. I'd like to go around to the place where the youma made its last stand. I turn to tell Usagi and she's gone. I just look for the tallest one who's stuffing their face and spot her halfway across the room. How in hell did she get there, teleport? She doesn't notice me until I am almost shouting in her ear. I finally get her to look at me, the end of a licorice stick hanging from her mouth. Her face has this slightly bewildered look like she's wondering why I could possibly be interrupting her feeding frenzy. She swallows enough of what's in her mouth to talk. "Rei, aren't you having any?" "Whenever you're done, could we possibly get back to work?" The kids within earshot move away with just a few furtive glances over their shoulders, instinctively retreating from the tone of my voice. But the girl is as oblivious as ever. "Sure, I'll just grab a couple more of these." Near the spot where we destroyed the youma there's a discreet entrance to a utilities corridor where can be found the things that are kept out of site so as not to distract from the ambiance of this gaudy shrine to gluttony. Washrooms, payphone, water fountain... and an unmarked door. I try the handle, it's unlocked. "Uh, Rei, should we be doing this?" "I just want to have a look, that's all." She suddenly looks very apprehensive. "Do you sense something?" "I'm not sure." I'm getting so frustrated with this girl's antics that I'm off centre, probably couldn't sense a youma if it walked up and introduced itself. It's dark inside. "Usagi, stop pushing, I'm trying to find a lightswitch or something." "Well find it quick, I don't like the dark." She pushes me further into the room and goes off to the side, I hear her bump into something. That's when I notice the light from the door dimming. "Usagi, don't let the-" *click* "door close." Oh great. "Rei, I can't see anything!" she wails. "Well if you'd given me half a second to find a-" A noise warns me about half a second before the avalanche falls down on my head. I manage to stay on my feet right up to the point where a squealing Usagi crashes into me. We go sprawling among the wreckage of whatever is falling on us. Even the awful din of a hundred things clattering down to the floor is drowned out be her screeching. "Usagi, will you please-" The rest of it comes out as a wheezing grunt as her flailing elbow connects with my ribcage. Now I really am down for the count. Usagi is still bawling at the top of her lungs when the lights come on. The old janitor regards us with the well practiced neutral expression of those who must work discreetly in sight of the customers. He only takes a moment to assess the shambles we have made of his broom closet before fixing his sad, world weary gaze on me once again. "Are you ladies alright?" "Yes, we're fine thank you." I resist the urge to grab one of the rags and stuff it in Usagi's big open mouth. "You shouldn't be in here you know," he says in the same tone one would address a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "I'm very sorry, we took a wrong turn." "Was there any place in particular you were looking for?" "Just the exit." By this time Usagi is just sniffling and I feel like I can get back on my feet again. I wince and clutch my ribs as I do. That one is going to hurt for a while. He escorts us all the way to the entrance, as if unsure whether we could find it ourselves. I would have liked to stay and help him clean up the mess, but I'm sure he would have politely refused the help. I just apologize yet again and we go back out under a midday sun that suddenly seems all the more oppressive. "Boy, was that ever embarrassing," Usagi finally says. "I wish we hadn't left so quickly, there were a whole bunch more things I wanted to try." That's it. I grab her and spin her around to face me. "Usagi, do you think that for just a few minutes you could stop thinking about your next fix of junk food and start thinking about what you're doing? Maybe then you wouldn't be such a walking disaster area!" She looks utterly outraged. "What are you talking about? It wasn't my idea to walk into a broom closet, was it?" "I wasn't intending to just madly flail around in the dark, at least not until you pushed me into the damned room!" Her face takes on that patented sick puppy dog look. "But... but..." "For Heaven's sake, girl, you're supposed to be our leader, the least you could do is try to act your age! If you fly into a blind panic just because the lights go out what are you going to do the next time a youma attacks us?" She sniffles, her lip starts to quiver. "Rei, why are you so mean to me?" she whimpers. I can see the crying attack coming. My sigh becomes raspy with my frustration. "I don't need this." I turn around and march over to the nearest park bench, thankfully under the shade of a tree. I slump down in it, then just lean back and close my eyes. If she wants to have a tantrum she can do it on her own, I'm not giving her an audience. She's a hopeless cause, absolutely hopeless. I've been putting it off, thinking maybe she could change, but this is the last straw. I am definitely going to have that talk with Luna. If Luna is willing to lead from the front herself, fine. If she wants to put Ami in charge, fine. I'll even take the job myself. But I am not following any orders from that stupid ditz, I wouldn't trust her to lead Grandpa across the street. Better for her to just stay home and let us handle the youma. She's supposed to have fought a dozen youma already, it's a miracle she's survived to tell about it. Maybe the Gods really do watch over fools and children. Something cold comes up against my leg. My eyes fly open. "What the...?" "You're bleeding." I didn't even hear her coming. She's kneeling down beside me, holding a wet cloth lightly against the side of my leg, below my knee. I lean to the side to look. Sure enough, there is a little trail of blood down the back of my leg. She takes the cloth away to very gently dab away the dripped blood. I hadn't even noticed that. The cut is almost invisible, something very sharp must have just nicked me, cutting cleanly. Could have been anything, half the contents of that closet came down on us. She must have a good eye to have noticed this as I was walking away. "I'm sorry." I just stare at her. "What?" "This is my fault." She doesn't look up at me, just takes hold of my leg and presses the cloth more firmly against the cut. The cool touch feels good. Just as when I left her, she looks to be on the verge of tears. But it's different now. I would almost say she looks remorseful. "It's just a little cut" I say, really wishing she would stop fussing over me like this. "I'll live." She doesn't even seem to hear me. "I hate it when people get hurt because of me," she says very softly. "I *hate* it." I want to think that she's just feeling sorry for herself, that she's just fishing for sympathy. I tell myself I shouldn't fall for it. But looking down at her sad face, my agitation fades away and I am abruptly brought back into focus, fully in touch with the core of my being, seeing with a clarity that normally comes only from careful preparation and long meditation. I see the unblemished truth right before my eyes. There is no calculation in her manner, conscious or otherwise. She is upset to the point of grieving over even the most trivial injury that she feels responsible for. The insight came in an instant, but it takes me a minute to mull over it. Her empathy seems so selective. How is it that she doesn't see how her childish behaviour is driving us all to distraction? What am I missing? "Does it hurt?" she abruptly asks. "No, not at all." She carefully takes away the damp cloth and looks at the cut for a few seconds. "It's stopped bleeding now. I'll put a band-aid on it." She pulls out her billfold, and sure enough she does have a small band-aid in there. "I'm so clumsy, I cut myself a lot," she explains quietly. "I always have a couple of these handy." She applies it to the cut, doing quite a good job of it too. Must get lots of practice. "Thank you." She smiles shyly. "Should we move on?" "Why don't we just sit for a while." "Do you still hurt?" "No, I just feel like it." She lays out her handkerchief on the bench to dry and sits down beside me. She looks rather tense. And remarkably she is silent. Normally I can't get her to shut up for even a minute. I'm not sure how I like the change. "Usagi, are you glad that Luna found you?" I ask. She looks at me. "What do you mean?" "I mean, are you glad that she found you and told you that you're Sailor Moon?" For the first time that I can recall, she looks like she is really thinking before she decides what to say. "Yes, I am. I mean, it's scary, the things I... the things we all have to do. But I get to help people. I never really had to do that before. I mean, nobody ever had to depend on me before." Her eyes focus on mine and her lips curl in an enigmatic little smile. "It feels good." I decide to seize the opening. "And can we depend on you?" Her smile fades and she looks away again. I wonder if I've miscalculated, if she's going to start feeling sorry for herself again. Her face is expressionless. "I hope so. If I screw up and somebody... somebody gets hurt, I could never forgive myself." "We'll just have to do the best we can, won't we?" She looks at me and returns my smile. "You know, I was so glad when you turned out to be Sailor Mars. Having Mercury with me was such a relief, having three of us will be even better. But it's not just that. When I first saw you... well, I've always sort of admired shrine maidens, the way they're so calm and elegant all the time. Then I saw how hard you work at the shrine. And going to a tough private academy on top of all that. I sort of thought that if you can do all that then maybe I can at least try and do a little better job of being Sailor Moon." She hides it well, but I can tell that this was not easy for her. For all her carefree antics she has a pride that can be easily wounded. Right now she would bite down on that pride and accept whatever dressing down I gave her. The only one to hate me would be myself. "There's no trick to it, you know," I say, trying not to sound preachy. "It's just making up your mind that you won't settle for anything less than your best shot." That seems to go over well. "My best shot may not measure up to yours, but I'll do everything I can. To protect you and Ami, I'll do anything." I can tell that she means it. Still, I can't resist. "I feel the same way, I want to do the best I can. I think when we meet Ami and Luna we should tell them that tomorrow instead of going to the arcade we'll let Luna put us through another training session." There is just a heartbeat delay. "Sure, that sounds like a good idea." "You don't mind?" "No, not at all." Suddenly her face brightens. "Hey, I've got a great idea, why don't we go to the arcade tonight instead?" "Don't you have homework tonight?" "I can always do it tomorrow. A deadline is a great motivator, you know. You wouldn't believe how fast I can do an assignment when it's due the next day." I decide to let that one pass. "Fine, we'll go tonight." I get up. "Come on, we're supposed to be meeting with the others pretty soon." She looks at her watch. "Wow, is it that time already? I haven't even had any cotton candy yet!" I can see that I'm really going to have my work cut out for me. But there seems to be something to work with here, some little spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, given enough time I can whip her into shape. And maybe that talk with Luna can be put off for now. I sure hope I don't end up regretting this. Picture 3 - Makoto I hear the doorbell just as I'm about to start putting the icing on the cake. If that's her, she's early. I slip off the apron and hang it on the hook on my way out of the kitchen. "Hi Mako-chan!" Her voice is as perky as her smile. Is it my imagination, or did the room just get brighter? Maybe the sun decided to peek out from behind a cloud. "Hi Usagi. Come on in." "Thanks." I step back to let her into the entranceway. "I hope I'm not too early." "No, not unless you mind watching me put the icing on the cake." "So that's what smells so good!" "Fresh out of the oven. Here..." I put out a pair of slippers for her. She shuffles into them and takes a look around the open living- sleeping area. Her eyes go wide. "Wow, I've never seen so many plants! It's like a conservatory!" I can't help but smile. She sounds like a kid in a toy shop. Most people just make some sardonic comment like you must spend half your life watering plants. She asks the name of one plant and I tell her it's called a spider plant. She giggles. "No, I mean what's its *name*?" I tell her its name is Chi-chan. I sure don't recall telling her that I name all my plants, in fact it's not something I tell anyone. To her it seems to be the most natural thing in the world, like she couldn't imagine my not doing that. It takes us several minutes to make our way to the kitchen since Usagi seems to want to be on a first name basis with all the plants in the room. Somehow I am sure that she will remember every one of their names. At sight of the kitchen she almost gasps. "Gee, this looks just like a kitchen on one of those cooking shows! My mom would be jealous if she saw this. Maybe I should take a picture." Oh man, she'll ask me to be in the picture. I hate that, I always look so awkward. Thankfully, she's easily distracted and starts drooling over the cake. I get her something to drink while she's sitting and then I get to work. Not wanting to bore her for too long I decide to make the icing a bit less elaborate than I was thinking of. But still I promised her a nice cake so it will take a little while. I search for a topic where she can do most of the talking while I work. I hit upon it when I ask her about trips her family has taken. I haven't actually been to her place yet but I get the impression they're quite well off. Most people that rich pride themselves on being globetrotters, but it sounds like they've never been further than Hong Kong and Hawaii, most of their travels have been in Japan. Seems a shame. I hate airplanes but if I had the means I would be travelling as much as I could. In fact more than once I've considered just forgetting about school and everything, taking a backpack and going. But the common sense my mother was able to put in me always won out in the end. Inevitably, she asks me how I'm managing to live alone like this. Without even thinking, I tell her the truth. "Gee, can you really get away with that?" I glance up from my work to see that she really does look worried. "It's worked for years. He's my dad's distant cousin, but he's got the same family name so he can pass for my uncle easily. And since he's a travelling salesman he drops by just often enough to make it looks like he lives here. It's become sort of a game for us, he's really good about it. The lease is in his name and everything. Our running joke is that I'm his secret mistress." She looks even more worried now. I chuckle. "Don't worry, like I said he's really good about it." "I guess you don't have any other family you could be living with, huh?" "Nope. My folks were both only children and none of my grandparents are alive, so all I've got is more distant cousins I barely know. My uncle - I call him that - is the only relative I even have any contact with. He was really close with my dad, so he'd visit a lot when my folks were around." "You're really lucky to have an uncle like that," she says very softly. I just look at her and smile. "Yeah I sure am." I suddenly think about why I've told somebody about my little arrangement, something I never told anybody, not even my senpai. I tell myself it's because she and I share an even bigger secret. But somehow that doesn't sit well. Something just tells me that I can trust her. I put the finishing touches on the cake. "There, all done. Let's put this aside and get set up for our main course." "Hold it." She takes me by surprise with her camera. I'm just forming an attempt at a smile when the flashbulb goes off. Oh God, I just know I'm going to look even more dorky than usual in that one. I really, really hate cameras. I finish moving the cake over to the counter and start getting things moved over to the table where we'll be eating. Even though from what I've seen Usagi will eat just about anything that's put in front of her, I've decided to play it safe. There hasn't been a Japanese person born who doesn't like beef sukiyaki. She waits patiently as I warm up the hot plate and start cooking, but she's practically drooling. She gobbles down her first plateful with astonishing speed. "Usagi, I hope you managed to taste that." "Are you kidding? This is wonderful, just like my mom makes!" I just smile. Words fail me. Such a simple thing to say, yet she makes it sound like the most wonderful compliment I can imagine. Suddenly serving her more platefuls of sukiyaki turns into a true labour of love. "Ami and Rei are going to be really sorry they missed this," Usagi says with just a hint of smugness. "Well, they both said they might be able to make it for dinner next week, we could have the same again if you like." "That would be great. You know, getting those two together in the same place at the same time for anything besides Sailor Senshi business is almost impossible. Rei always has something to do at the temple that is so terribly, terribly important, and I can't keep track of how many cram schools Ami goes to. Honestly, if I didn't hound them into going out once in a while I don't think they'd have lives at all!" "Well, maybe if we were driven like them we'd be getting better grades." Usagi sniffs. "Rei says something like that just about every time I meet her." It was a frivolous comment, but I can see it's more than that. There is resentment there, and I'm sure even a hint of fear. I had been wondering about that. I decide to find out. "She seems to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder." "Tell me about it! I try to be nice to her all the time but she can't go for ten minutes without getting on my case." It looks like it was just as I feared. "Does she go out of her way to dis you?" "Big time, whenever she can." I turn down the heat on the plate to let the remainder of our dinner simmer, put down my chopsticks and lean forward. Usagi has caught on, I can see that I have her full attention. "Look Usagi, I can see what's going on here. Luna says you're supposed to be our leader. She may have reasons we don't understand, but even if she didn't I think you're the right choice. Ami is way too introverted and Rei won't cut anyone any slack. And me, I just think with my fists. You're the real leader material here." "Mako-chan..." she looks utterly shocked. I press on. "You've got something none of us have. I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's just that you really listen to people, really feel what they feel, not just hear their words. Maybe that's why people trust you. The problem is, Rei isn't just going to accept that she isn't the leader, she's obviously used to getting things done her way. Look, what I'm trying to say is if she's a problem for you then maybe I can help you deal with her." "What do you mean?" She looks like she doesn't want to hear the answer. I just grin. "I could always administer some physical education, but I don't think it has to come to that. If she sees that you have my support, I think she'll back down." She looks down at her plate. Its contents remain there cooling, untouched. I take that as an indication of the impact of my words. "I don't know, it's just not right." "Usagi, sooner or later she's going to have to understand who's boss. You can't let her intimidate you." She shakes her head. "It's not that," she says quietly, fidgeting as she forces the words out. "I mean, I think she's right." I sigh. This isn't going to be easy. "Usagi, she may think we'd be better off with her in charge but..." It is the first time I can remember being really and truly paralyzed by somebody's gaze. Her sad, soulful eyes should be making her look vulnerable, but I can feel her strength like a physical force. It is like looking into the eyes of a young eagle or a wolf cub, just starting to wake up to the power it is destined to inherit. "I mean that she's right about me. I'm a lazy, clumsy crybaby. I always want to take the easy way out. If it wasn't for her pushing me - and Luna and Ami too - I'd never do anything. I would just run away and cry and let the youma... hurt people." I shake my head. "I don't believe that. I've seen you fight. Maybe you were scared, but you never backed down for a second." She smiles a little. "I'm a little better now, thanks to them. I don't cry as much. I've only known them a little while, but I really owe them a lot. They've become such good friends. I know you'll really get to like them too." Her words are genuine, there is no hint of rebuke. Yet somehow I feel chastised. It's like Usagi has lifted a veil from my eyes. Rei might be abrasive and uncompromising, but I was a fool to think that she was a bully. And I was already passing off Ami as a bookish dweeb, but she has taken on the role of a warrior with no complaint, a role probably less suited to her than to any of us. And I could not have been more utterly wrong about Usagi. Nobody is going to be leading her by the nose, that's for sure. "Well, what I said before still stands. I'm behind you one hundred percent, and I'm going to make sure everybody knows it." "Thanks, Mako-chan," she says in a voice that is almost turning husky. Before either of us can get too teary-eyed I suggest we clean up and try some of the cake. I have never had such enthusiastic help with kitchen chores. She's just like a little kid again. She inhales one piece right before my eyes then delves into the second at a slightly more leisurely pace, giving it the attention and reverence you usually see reserved for religious experiences. I can see that she takes her desserts very, very seriously. "You know, if you hadn't specifically asked for a cake I was going to make you a special dessert in honour of our first fight together." "What sort of dessert?" "It rhymes with Supreme Thunder." It takes a couple of seconds for the penny to drop, and then she's dropped on her side she's laughing so hard. Eventually she gets back up and wipes tears away. "Oh Kami-sama, I still can't believe I said that." "Could you really imagine me staring down a youma and then announcing I'm going to blow it away with a Cream Sundae?" She giggles. "You know, it wasn't until *days* later that it finally clicked what your attack is really called. And it's just so awesome too! I thought Mars' Fire Soul was something, but with you here we'll be mopping up the floor with these youma!" "The way I've seen them fight, using possessed people to do their dirty work, they're a bunch of cowards. They can't be all that-" I'm interrupted by the doorbell. "Excuse me." I wasn't expecting anyone. Shouldn't be the landlady, I'm all paid up. It's Natsuki. It just takes a second for my blood to start boiling. Not directed at her, but at her son of a bitch father. There are bruises, and her shades are probably hiding worse. She has an overnight bag. "Oh no..." She's still shaking a bit. Must have come right from home. Her voice is tremulous and hoarse. "Makoto-san, can I... um..." I step closer and put a hand on her shoulder. "Natsuki, why don't you go to the washroom and get cleaned up," I say very quietly. "I'll get rid of my company." I put a finger up near her lips, stifling her objection. "Don't worry about it. Just be quiet, okay? Come on." I take her as far as where we walk by Usagi. Natsuki has her head bowed, probably doesn't even see her. Usagi's growing smile fades as I lock eyes with her and give a little shake of my head. I let Natsuki get there herself, she certainly knows the way by know. I stand over Usagi, my arms at my hips, unable to meet her gaze. She has not moved or spoken. I suppress the urge to pace, hold in the murderous rage I want to go into. Gods, she's just a kid, how do I explain? "Uh, look. Usagi, this friend of mine, I kind of need to help her out right now." "Was she beat up?" She must have seen. I sigh. "Yeah. By her father." She gasps. "Oh my God." She looks just as if I'd told her that her best friend had been beaten up. She barely caught herself on time to keep her voice down. "Is there anything I can do?" "No, not really. She just needs to stay the night here, until her dad sobers up. I'm really sorry, but-" "It's okay," she says quickly. She gets up from the table. "Your friend needs you." She is utterly calm again, but the pain is still in her eyes. We share a look of mutual understanding, share the same frustration. *All those powers we've got, and all we can offer her is a place to stay.* We are silent as I see Usagi to the door. I wish more than anything I could have spared her seeing this. She looks so miserable. After she puts her shoes and coat on, she finally looks at me. "Mako-chan, are you sure there's nothing we can do?" "Believe me, there's plenty I'd *like* to do. Things were actually okay for a while but..." I hit the wall with my fist, not hard enough to startle the neighbours. "Damn it all." "It must be so awful, seeing your friend suffer like that." "She's more of a classmate, from my former school. She just happened to find out from a mutual friend that I'm living fairly near her. You know, I had another former classmate stay here last month, hiding from her ex boyfriend. And another last year, some pervert she didn't even know. Damn it, does every guy on earth get his jollies beating girls up?" I curse myself for rambling, I'm probably upsetting her. But she just shakes her head. "You don't believe that." I manage to calm down a bit. "No. No, I don't." "It must seem that way because they all come to you for help." I just stare at her, and she smiles that little smile, which is still touched with sadness. "A lot of people must really look up to you. Because they know that you're kind enough to help, and strong enough. I hope I can be like that someday." "Usagi... you already are. Believe me, you already are." She blushes a little. "I'm sure your friend will be okay, now that she's got you to take care of her. Good night." I stand there for a few seconds after she's left, shaking my head in wonder. That girl gets serious foot in mouth disease, but when it really counts she always seems to know just the right thing to say. I start to head to the kitchen to get ice, but then Usagi's words come back and I steer straight for the washroom. Natsuki needs a cold compress, but right now she probably needs a friend even more. "Thank you" I whisper to the golden-haired angel who reminds me of the simple truths I have forgotten. Picture 4 - Minako I arrive at the bottom of the stairs just five minutes before the appointed time. I wanted to show up early with the others, help them set up whatever it is they're planning. But they said this was my party, to welcome me to the group. I smile a bit, thinking of that. I feel like I should be welcoming them. After all, they're joining in a fight I've been in for a year now. Artemis warned me about not feeling too full of myself. Okay, maybe I was a bit cold with them at first, I didn't need that furball's lecturing to realize that. But it was an emergency, I didn't have time to coddle them. Bad thought. They don't need coddling. They've had it every bit as hard as I had. Especially our Princess... My thoughts are with her as I climb the long stairway to Rei's shrine. We've failed her so badly, letting things turn out this way. Her Prince snatched right from her arms, only minutes after they finally found each other. And now an even greater horror. I can still see her sad, despairing face as she looked upon the face of her love, now twisted in a mocking, malevolent smile. He is working for them now. She must be driving herself mad, imagining what they could have done to him to make him turn on us. Turn on *her*. I get to the top of the stairs. Just a couple of people visiting the shrine, it will be closing soon. I see Rei's grandfather and that long haired guy, but I don't see her, I guess she managed to delegate the work for the night. I head straight for the residence. The door is open and there are four sets of shoes in the entranceway, so I shed mine and head for the big room where Rei said we would be meeting. I see light through the rice paper and I hear voices. "Hello?" I call out. "Come on in," I hear Rei call out. I open the sliding panel, step in and stop as I get a look at the room. I just stand and stare. "Wow." I don't think I've seen so many Sailor V posters all in one place, there's one on every panel all around the room. Advertising posters for the manga, the arcade game, the PlayStation game, the movie, the... uh, the *other* manga (wonder whose idea that was), even an English one, no doubt a spinoff of the fame I earned in London. There are coloured streamers hung all over, like it was New Years. Then I get a look at the spread that's laid out on the table. No wonder Makoto warned me to eat a light supper. I'd heard she could really cook, but if she hadn't told me she was handling the food I would swear this was a pro catering job. The four of them are kneeling down at the table facing me, all smiles. In unison, they all recite the words on the banner strung behind them. "Welcome, our Goddess Venus!" Ami touches a button on the boom box beside her, and it starts playing the theme to the Sailor V movie. I just stand and stare some more. "Wow." They are all greeting me, beckoning me to come join them. I walk over and sit down opposite, still overwhelmed. Rei fills another glass from the punch bowl and puts it in front of me. Usagi is gushing over the food, I assure her it looks just wonderful. This is all putting me in a serious party mood. Rei taps her glass with a spoon a couple of times, getting everyone's attention. Looks like they were all expecting something. She clears her throat. "I just wanted to say a few words about why we're all here today. Just a few short days ago was the most serious fight with the Dark Kingdom we've ever had. Not everything went our way, but in the end we prevailed. We have a lot to be grateful for. We stopped the Dark Kingdom's most dangerous attack yet, and our Princess found the Ginzuishou for us. She also found her Prince, even if only for a short time." She turns and squeezes Usagi's shoulder affectionately. "True love conquers all, so with all our help I know they'll be back together soon." They look into each other's eyes and share a smile that makes my heart ache. I've already seen how closely these four have bonded, it is what I have wanted more than anything for so long. As if in answer to my plea, Rei turns that same radiant smile on me. "But best of all, we found you, our new ally and our new friend. You came to us in our most desperate hour, but it was suddenly as if you had always been with us. Minako, Sailor Venus, Senshi of Love and Beauty, your coming among us is a blessing and a miracle and we welcome you." She grins and raises her glass, shrugging off her formal demeanour like a cloak. "So let's eat, drink and be merry. Kanpai!" We all reach out and clink our glasses together. "Kanpai!" We tear into the food with a vengeance. It tastes even better than it looks. In minutes there are at least half a dozen things I've just got to get the recipe for. I mean for my mom of course. I wouldn't even attempt any of this stuff myself, might just as well nuke the kitchen and have done with it. Ami asks me about my trip to England, how I fared in a foreign school. This leads me naturally to talking about my dear friend Katherine, who was a bigger help to me than all those teachers. I don't mention the circumstances surrounding my return to Japan... I don't think I'm ready to talk to anybody about that. But I do mention how she found out about my being Sailor V, and how she recruited me into helping the London Police. Usagi is intrigued by the idea. "I don't think we ever even thought about fighting criminals. We only ever transformed when the Dark Kingdom was attacking." "Well, it wasn't exactly something I planned. Artemis wasn't too keen. But Katherine helped me with some of the youma I fought. She saved a couple of victims who might have died otherwise, taking them away while I distracted the youma. I really couldn't say no." "She must have been sad to see you leave." Don't think about it. Don't think about him. "Yes, and I was kind of sad to leave too." "Did you ever think of working with the Tokyo police?" Ami asks. "No, not really. It only worked in England because I found a really good friend in the police who I knew would keep my secret. It's too much of a risk otherwise. If our identities were compromised, it would hurt our ability to fight the youma." Ami nods in agreement. I'm relieved. I won't have to go into the near disastrous end to my crime fighting career. I soon get tired of talking about myself, so I ask them about their own battles with the Dark Kingdom. I already know the basics. We had all met here the day after our battle at Star Light Tower. We were all still bruised and exhausted and Usagi was still upset, so it had been a brief meeting. Just long enough to find out that neither they nor I had a lot of concrete facts regarding our enemy, had no clue where to even start looking for Usagi's missing Prince. I learn more. They had frequently come face to face with the puppet masters behind the youma they fought. And these generals had become increasingly sophisticated in their methods. Jeadite's brute force mass energy drain operations gave way to Nephrite's focused attacks on individuals with extraordinary talents. Then had come Zoicite's quest for the rainbow crystals. Finally, Kunzite's trap which had nearly done in the Sailor Senshi for good. Artemis is probably getting all this from Luna as we speak. I learn other things. Beryl's minions are not beyond redemption. With his death, one of them showed that they are capable of accepting and returning love. And they fight among themselves, their treachery not even stopping at assassination. With all this new intel, we're at least a little less in the dark. Maybe we can get Usagi's Prince back for her soon. Makoto wants to know what else I do. "Not much, I'm afraid. I've been pretty focused on hunting down youma and looking for you guys. Between that and school I haven't had much time for anything else. I really hated to, but I even had to give up volleyball last year." "That's awful," Usagi says. "You should start up again. I mean, with five of us here you won't have to do it all yourself, right?" I smile. She sounds almost angry at me. "I might do that. But for now I think the Dark Kingdom is going to be keeping us all busy." Of course I have to ask them all what they like to do. I'd already pegged Ami as the intellectual in the group. But it sounds like she's a real genius, probably getting one of the best school marks in the whole country. She obviously doesn't like talking about it, I probably wouldn't have even found out about all her accomplishments if the others hadn't chimed in and spoken for her. She's so shy and self-effacing, it's hard to believe she's the same one who I saw face down a Dark Kingdom general right along with the rest of us. She looks like the type who are never satisfied with themselves, no matter how well they do. Probably doesn't even realize how cute she is. Rei seems to be kind of similar at the core, an overachiever who won't settle for second best. But her personality is about as different as it could be, very outspoken, very self-assured. There's a kind of coldness there too, like she keeps herself on a different plane from the rest of us. She's friendly enough, but I really get the impression there's a part of her we're not seeing. Makoto, on the other hand, you can read like a book. No mysteries here, she just calls them as she sees them. Sounds like she's had a rough life, but it hasn't made her bitter at all. Seems to be a romantic at heart, but most boys would probably be intimidated by her, wouldn't even look twice, greater fools they. Maybe that's why she's compensated by training to be the perfect homemaker. Or I could be overanalyzing, she's had to learn to do her own cooking and cleaning after all. Usagi is probably the girl I would have become had I not become Sailor V. Or would like to have become. Her life revolving around friends who love her, the way mine did at one time. It would be so easy for me to resent her. Of course, I think upon what she has gone through in just these past few days, how hard it must be for her to put on a brave face. But it's not really that. The simple fact is, I can't help loving her to pieces. Who wouldn't? Incredibly, Ami reminds me I'll have to leave soon if I want to catch a subway train back home. It really seems like I just got here. Usagi's house is more or less on the way, so after we part with Ami and Makoto she and I end up walking together. "It's too bad Artemis and Luna didn't come," she says. "I think they're still getting caught up on old times." "Did Artemis say they were friends? I mean, back in the Silver Millennium." I can't help but giggle. "He's kind of evasive about it. I sort of think he's more like her scratching post." I don't mention that I'm pretty sure he has a crush on her. "Has he told you a lot about the Silver Millennium?" I suddenly feel uneasy. It was a casual question, but there seemed to be a hint of urgency, almost desperation. "No, not really. He says he doesn't remember much." "Oh." "Usagi, is something wrong?" She puts on her brave smile. "No, I was just wondering that's all." I can guess what she's after, but I'm not sure how to approach it. "He told me that everybody loved their Princess Serenity. Your mother, your guardian senshi, your subjects, and your Prince." I wonder if I've hit too close to home. But she just smiles. "Artemis must have been a real help for you." "Yeah, he can be a real pest, but I've learned a lot from him." "I mean helping you from being lonely." I share a glance with her and it's obvious that she's seen right through me. It's amazing, she seems to have this X-ray vision into people's souls. I take a couple of breaths before I can answer. "It's been... hard." "I know. I was only fighting on my own for a little while. But I know." "I wanted so much just to... just to tell somebody." She takes my hand. "It's like a dream, having Sailor V for my friend. You've been my hero." I wipe away the lone tear I couldn't fight back. "I hope I haven't disillusioned you." "What do you mean? When I met you I felt like I could do anything!" She grins at my puzzled look. "Because you're so much like me." "You mean that we both get such lousy grades?" We both laugh. We walk more briskly now, swinging our joined hands playfully like a couple of kids. I haven't felt this good in a very, very long time. Soon we have to go our separate ways. "I can't thank you enough, Usagi. All of you. I had a wonderful time tonight. This was just what I needed." "I know what you mean. I'm just sad about one thing." I frown. I'm so afraid of losing the high we've managed to get ourselves on. "What's that?" "It's really a shame I didn't think to bring a camera today." Picture 5 - Chibi-usa "Mercury, what's an exhibition?" She looks down at me, still walking. "It's a place where works of art are put on display. Where did you hear that word?" "Cyrus Onichan told me. He said there's going to be one in the Little Palace." "That's the Lesser Palace." She's always doing that. "Yeah, the Lesser Palace." "Yes, there will be an exhibition." She looks like she doesn't want me to know that she isn't happy. Maybe this is a bad thing. Not a really bad thing, she would tell me if it was. But sort of a bad thing. "What's going to be there?" "Well, do you know about the library that Pluto found in the Greater Palace a long time ago?" "Sure." Everyone knows that. She found lots of books that weren't really books but told lots of things. "There were some pictures in the library. Pictures of old works of art from the Silver Millennium. Paintings and sculptures." "Do they show what the Silver Millennium looks like?" I always wanted to see what the Moon Palace looks like. "No." She's walking faster now, I have to run a little to keep up. That usually means I'm asking too many questions. "They're of us. The Princess and the Sailor Senshi." She means the Princess and the Sailor Senshi who lived on the moon. They were sort of mommy and Mercury Onesama and the others. But they sort of weren't. It's a bit complicated. "Can I see them?" She sighs. "Your mother said it was okay, so I don't see why not. They're in the East Banquet Hall." "But it's closed, I can't get in." "Just a moment." She gets her computer. I look close, but I still can't see the dimensional thing where she gets it from. She taps it and it beeps. "The doors in the East Hall will open to you now." "Thanks Mercury Onesama! Come on Luna-P!" I run down the hall and Luna-P floats behind me like it always does. I use the elevator to go down. I want to use the stairs, but Mommy says I'm still little and stairs are dangerous so she made me promise to use the elevators unless they are broken. They're never broken. Elevators are still kind of scary. More scary than stairs. I just float down, but it still always feels like I'm falling. It's kind of weird, the Lesser Palace is the only place with stairs, the Greater Palace just has ramps and I can use those if I want. Mars says it's because the Lesser Palace is kind of like a really old palace that was in a country called France. Except that it's not made of wood and stuff, it's made of crystal. And it's got elevators and computers and things. I point at the doorway as I float down and the elevator drops me there. I run to the East Hall. I learned where everything is a long time ago, I don't have to tell Luna-P to find things for me anymore. The doors are still closed. I can't reach the big shiny handles. I bet Mercury knew about this. She's always making things hard for me. But I know whenever she does that there must be a way to make it easy. I think about it and I get an idea. I grab Luna-P and start bouncing it. "Luna-P Change!" I smack it hard and it goes up high. It changes and I catch my skipping rope when it falls down. I have to try a couple of times but the rope goes around the handle. I pull it down and it goes click. The door opens when I push it. I look up. Way up. "Wow!" It's a really big white statue of mommy. Except it's kind of different. I look at it for a long time, but I don't know why it's different. She's still really pretty, just like everyone says she is. But I don't like it very much. I can't tell if she's happy or sad. It's sort of like mommy gets when she's talking to a bunch of other people in the throne room. They don't like me to go in when there are lots of people so I've only seen it a couple of times. It was almost like she wasn't mommy anymore. I was kind of scared until she came to my room later on and I saw that she was still mommy. I go around and look at the other statues. Some of them are almost as big. There are ones of Mercury and Venus and Mars and Jupiter. Sometimes they are Sailor Senshi, sometimes they're in pretty long dresses. There are just a couple of them that I like, where they look happy. In most of them they just look sort of mean. I wonder if they were really like that. None of mommy's guardian Senshi are mean, maybe they were different back then. Or maybe they weren't really the same people. It's complicated. The pictures on the walls are sort of the same. Like old paintings where people had to pose for a long time. I guess that must be hard, that's why they look kind of mad. A couple of them are okay. Especially the one with Mercury sitting near a lake. There's even one of Puu, only that picture looks just like her. I wish Puu would come visit more, I miss her. Maybe if I ask nice mommy will let me have this picture for my room. "Small Lady." I turn around. "Mommy!" She's in her long white dress with the butterfly wings. The one she wears when she's working on "affairs of state." She goes down and hugs me when I run to her. "I thought you were working today, mommy." "I am, but I'm taking a little break. Cyrus said he'd finished setting up the exhibition, so I thought I'd come take a look." She still smiles, but there's a bit of a frown. "I hope you haven't been skipping rope in here." "No. I used this to open the door." "Clever girl." I throw the rope up and it turns back into Luna P and stays up there. "Mercury told me that Puu had just found pictures in the library." "Yes, she did." "But these are real." "Cyrus and Pluto found a way to make the palace grow them." "Oh, yeah." I should have figured that out. I've seen them do it before. Pluto calls it magic, Mercury calls it nanotechnology. Cyrus Onichan says it's both, so he argues with both of them. "So have you had time to look at everything, Small Lady?" "Yes, there are some really nice ones!" "Well why don't you show me your favourites." I take her all around the room. She asks me why I like each one. Mostly it's because they look happy and friendly. Most of the others don't look like the way mommy or the Senshi really are. "And this is my really favourite one." It's a big wide painting showing mommy sitting down in the middle of a big field full of flowers. She is smiling and stringing flowers together. Behind her are Mercury, Venus, Mars and Jupiter all laughing and talking together. Behind them way in the corner are two more. "Mommy, are those Uranus and Neptune?" I think maybe she didn't hear me but then she answers. "Yes dear, they are." "They look like nice people." "They are both wonderful people." I don't ask about them anymore. Everybody just says they're gone and I'll probably meet them someday. "Do you remember this place?" "Yes, a little bit. When Princess Serenity was younger, she would spend many happy days in this garden with her guardians." "Younger?" She smiles. "It may not look that way to you, but she is very young in this picture, probably as young as when I first met your father." "How come there are no pictures of daddy?" "Pluto couldn't find any. Remember, Prince Endymion was from the Earth, these pictures are of people in the Moon Kingdom." "I wish there was at least one of daddy." Her face changes and she bends down so that I'm close to her. She has that smile I really like but the others are scared of because it means she's probably going to do something "unbecoming the Queen of Crystal Tokyo." "Small Lady, do you want me to show you something really nice?" she says like she doesn't want anyone else to hear. "What?" I whisper. "Nobody else knows about this yet, so you have to keep it a secret, okay?" I'm nodding my head again and again. "Okay. What is it?" "Well, the truth is, I've put together a little exhibition of my own." "Where is it?" She points at a door. "Right through there." She smiles real wide leans closer. "Want to see it?" she whispers. I nod some more. She gets up and I follow her to the door. I want to run but I don't. I think this is going to be something really, really good. She touches the door and there's the glow that happens when she's using magic. She opens both doors and I follow in right behind her. The lights come on. I gasp. "It's daddy!" It's a big painting, taller than me, almost as tall as mommy. Daddy is sitting in a chair in a kind of dark room, holding a book. He looks like he's thinking about something. He's wearing a black suit I've never seen him in. I've seen that kind of suit in pictures of Old Tokyo. I think they called it a business suit. Men don't wear suits like that anymore. But it looks really nice on him. Especially the grey vest with the little white flowers on one side. "Cyrus painted this," mommy says. "Back when he and Pluto were the only ones awake. He would sketch us while we were asleep in the crystals, and then he painted this." She looks down at me with the really good smile again. "He thinks it's still up in our bedroom. I think he's going to be surprised when he opens his exhibition to the people and suddenly these doors opens up." "Are there other pictures here?" "Why don't you look around." The walls are covered with lots of little pictures. But they're not paintings, they're photos. I know what photos are, I've seen others. I can tell they're from before the ice. "Were these pictures taken in Old Tokyo?" "Yes, they were." Old Tokyo. Where everybody grew up, everybody but me. I've asked them all to describe it so often that they don't want to anymore. There were more people than there are stars in the sky, people everywhere, little kids and young people and old people. So many people moving around and talking that it was noisy all the time. It sounds like heaven. I wish Crystal Tokyo were more like that. But they keep telling me that they can only wake up a few people at a time and those people are really busy so I hardly ever see them. They're so busy that there can't be any kids because it takes a lot of time to take care of kids. That's why I have nobody to play with. "What's wrong, Small Lady?" I don't want to say how sad I am that there aren't other kids for me to play with. I really want to be strong like they say I should try and be. Instead, I tell mommy about the other thing I was thinking. "Did you know all these people?" "Yes, these were all friends of mine in Old Tokyo." "Are they still in cold sleep?" "Most of them, yes." I walk around looking at them. There are a few of them that I look at a little longer. I'm not sure why. I point to one. "Mommy, what's that she's eating?" "That's called a hamburger." "Can I have one sometime?" "Maybe when Mercury starts cloning cows." I make a face. I always forget they used to eat dead animals back then. It sounds really gross. But people say they want to have meat again, so Mercury has to send her Droids out to find animals in the ice and do some really weird stuff to them to make new baby animals. I point to another picture. "What's that dress she's wearing?" "She's a shrine maiden, that's her uniform. She's a kind of priestess." I know what that means. Mars told me about all the different kinds of religion there were in the world in the days of Old Tokyo. The way she describes it they all believed different things, but they were all sort of right. I think she calls it "different parts of the same truth." It's really complicated. There's one with a woman holding a really pretty cake, almost like the one at my surprise party. "That looks like a birthday cake, but there are no candles." "It wasn't anybody's birthday, she just decided to bake us a cake. I thought it was really nice, so I took a picture of it." There's another one with a girl winking at the camera and making a V with her fingers. "Is she a priestess too?" Mommy laughs again. "No dear, that's a school uniform. I wore one too, when I was her age." School. A place where lots of kids learn stuff together. They must have had so much fun back then. Cyrus Onichan and all my other teachers are really nice, but I still wish there were other kids so I could go to a real school. There are more pictures. Mommy must have had lots of friends in Old Tokyo. More people than I've ever seen. But whenever I point and ask she knows who it is. She really did have that many friends. Some of the pictures she says are of famous people she had met, like Princess Diamond, and the Three Lights. Some are of people the Sailor Senshi helped. Some are just pictures of the home mommy used to live in. It was really small, it would fit inside any of the rooms even in the Lesser Palace. She says that most people in Old Tokyo lived in even smaller places, just because there were so many of them. We get back to where the big picture of daddy is. "So what do you think of my part of the exhibition, Small Lady?" "I like it a lot. Better than the ones from the Moon Kingdom." "Really? And why is that?" "Everybody looks so happy, like they're all having fun together. It must have been a lot more fun back in Old Tokyo." "Well, there were happy and sad times, just like there are now. Remember, this was when the Sailor Senshi were protecting me from all the monsters who wanted to take over our world. We just don't have any pictures of that." "I know that. It still looks like you had more fun back then." "You think so?" "Uh huh. You had all those friends, not just the Senshi and us. You were just like everyone else." She goes down on her knees and puts her hands on my shoulders. She's not scolding me, but it's almost like that because when she does this I can't look away from her. "Small Lady, you've seen exactly what I want people to see here. I took all those pictures myself, so all those people looking into the camera were really looking at me. They looked upon me not with awe or fear or worship, but with love and friendship. I was just another one of their friends. That simple thing is more precious to me than being the queen of Crystal Tokyo or the bearer of the Ginzuishou. Can you understand that?" "I think so." My head is spinning a little, sort of like when Cyrus Onichan explains something to me and I don't quite understand, but maybe I'll understand it more later. She stands and smiles. "We should close up the room before somebody comes in and spoils my nice surprise." "Mommy, are any of the people in those pictures awake now?" Mommy looks at me kind of strange. Like she's worried. "Why do you want to know?" "Well, I'd just like to meet some of them." "Anyone in particular?" I think about that for a second. "I'd really like to meet Uncle Shingo." She doesn't look worried any more, but her smile doesn't make her look very happy either. Sort of like when she talks about Uranus or Neptune or Saturn. "I think you'll meet him someday. Anyone else?" "My Grandma and Grandpa. Everyone, I guess." She reaches down and pats my hair. "You will meet them all one day." "Really?" "Really. Come, I need to go back to work and I think you have a lesson coming soon. Will you walk with me to the elevator?" "Sure!" We go out and mommy holds my hand while we walk down the long hallway that has the really big window looking outside. I call it a big window but of course it's tiny compared to the window of the Greater Palace that goes all around us. The window that protects us from the storms and the cold. It's the middle of the day but it's a lot darker than before I went into the East Hall. There are lots of dark clouds moving closer. They say it's a lot warmer than it was last year. There's less ice and more green. But they say it's still too dangerous for me to go outside. Even the grownups almost never go outside. "Mommy, it looks like there's a storm coming." She squeezes my hand. I look up but she's looking out at the sky so I can't see her face. "Yes, Small Lady," she says. Her voice is kind of rough, like there's something in her throat. "Yes, there is a storm coming." A couple of seconds later she looks at me and she is smiling again. "But you're a brave girl, so you won't be scared, will you?" "Nope!" I still don't like the thunder but I don't want mommy to think I'm a sissy. "I'm not scared at all." "That's good." She looks away again. "I'm very proud of you." I like it when mommy says that. Maybe this would be a good time to ask. "Mommy, about that picture of Puu..." The End