Night time can never steal over Nemesis -- there is no daylight to speak of, so how can it be stolen? If there is no sun to block, what does it matter, anyway? Reminds me of that little adage; if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? You could apply that to us -- if there is a sun, but none of us can see it, is it really there at all?

I have been told time and time again that there is something wrong with the timelines that exist within this place... this place they call the Nemesis. A rogue moon that is rarely seen because it hides itself in a shade of darkness that makes itself invisible to all but the ones who exist there. The lonely ones, the greatest pretenders.

It makes me angry to think that I should have to be the one to deal with them, but as Guardian of the Door of Time and Space, I have little choice. But then, when did I ever have a choice? Certainly, no-one asked me if I wanted to be this person that I have become. I was never given the opportunity to weigh up the pros and cons, I was never allowed a moment to think it over.

No, I was born into this world, and I am tired. This job that I do, it comes with certain... consequences. Like my life span. How long has it been now? I don't know, I lost count centuries ago. What does it matter, anyway? I have no-one to celebrate my birthdays with, even if I could remember how old this passing year has just made me.

I suppose the one bonus is that I don't have to worry about my appearance. After all, appearing my true age would terrify anybody who came here, and I'm not sure how well I would cope with that. Even though my normal appearance scares them just as well. It's a terrible thing, to be here alone, knowing that if I do get a visitor, I probably have to kill them anyway. I've been here far too long.

Maybe this restlessness is only temporary -- but with the life I live, temporary could mean anything from ten minutes to ten thousand years. And I don't know how long I can cope with this... I smile through my tears and this emotionless fa cade is for public display only. Those young Senshi who just passed my way... they saw that side of me, my false side... maybe it was seeing them that made me this jittery. They were like old memories; they awakened my desire to leave this place.

Especially Mercury. Damn Mercury, why did she have to ask me to come? Didn't she know how that tortured me? To be asked to come when I wanted to but couldn't? Didn't she know?

Of course she didn't. How could she know? Only one of that little band would know. No, that's not true -- perhaps Small Lady doesn't really know that I am never to leave the Door. However, I suspect she does not understand if she does know it. Only Luna would know and understand, being the former cat advisor to Queen Serenity...

Queen Serenity. Benevolent ruler who gave me charge over this place, the woman-goddess who bestowed upon me the title of Keeper of Time. Damned Serenity, as damnable as her daughter...

But I cannot hate my Queens. Queen Serenity gave me a choice of sorts... I suppose. How could I reject her, when I was born with the blood of father Chronos running through my veins, arteries, capillaries, keeping me alive, sustaining my very being? I couldn't say no! And Neo-Queen Serenity... more beautiful than the first, though not half as wise. Even though I hate her at times, because she holds the only man I ever dared to love, she gave me the greatest gift in the world.

She gave me Small Lady, a child whom I can almost pretend is my own flesh and blood. And even though she isn't, I care for her as if she is. I would give my life for her if the need ever arose, and I would die happy knowing that she lived. My Small Lady.

Even thoughts of my almost-child do not serve to calm my wanderlust. I want... I want out. Surely, leaving my post for a few hours would not disturb the Door too much...! I know that it would be breaking one of the three regulations that Queen Serenity gave to me

but who really gave a flying fuck anymore?

I have to laugh at myself. What is happening to me? Why is it happening now? How can the Guardian of Time lose her mind, when it is her mission to keep the peaceful world sane?

I cannot understand myself. Why do I hurt the one that I love the most? Why do I turn on my brother like an animal, when all he ever had was my best interests at heart?

And why do I stand aside as my brother dies? Why do I hear my field marshal call my name in her last moments, and simply listen to her vanish? She called my name, I said hers. Still, she died, and I did nothing.

And my general, Rubeus... he died while I did nothing. I could have easily ordered Esmeraude to bring him back, but I didn't care. I thought he has failed me -- why couldn't I see that I had failed him? How can a peon be expected to carry out an impossible order? What right do I have to punish him for failing a mission that was destined to -- forgive the pun -- self-destruct?

Esmeraude... why did I never pay attention to her? Why did I make her risk her own life in her blind lust? Why did I not just tell her that I couldn't love her the way she loved me? I thought she was weak for loving me, but was I the weak one for not telling her I didn't love her?

Saffir... now there is a person for whom I can cry a river. I stood by and watched while the Wiseman murdered him. I can say in my defence that I honestly thought he would stop at my order, but no. I did it because I was afraid. I thought Saffir a coward for running away from the Wiseman and not facing his fears, but was I really the coward for not protecting him the way he tried to protect me?

The Small Lady... what have I done to her? Granted, I was not the one who warped that impressionable, childish mind into what it became, but do I not bear some responsibility for it? And by letting the child be corrupted, did I, in actuality, corrupt myself more than the Small Lady herself?

And finally, the Neo-Queen. So charged by jealousy was I, that I made her fall into a fitful sleep, not knowing if she would ever awaken from the dream world. So who is the greater dreamer? My sleeping empress, or me, the idiot who thought that this act would make her love me at last?

How many lives must I ruin before I am satisfied?

I could sense the despair of another from where I was within the dim mustiness of non-time. At that point, I was so taken by my own restlessness and anger at the world that laughed at me, that I listened to the voice. And I paid attention. Even though we were both dissatisfied for differing reasons, I didn't think we were all that different from one another.

Although I recognised that voice for who he was, I was in a lousy enough mood to want to go and talk to him, even if I didn't know where this little transgression against my duties would lead. Still, it seemed as if Demando was as desperate as I was.

Besides, we had something in common. We both loved the benevolent king and queen of the thirtieth century.... did this secret we shared make us the same sort of person? Or was it just a figment of my tired imagination?

I stared at the liquid in my glass, and I noted the way my reflection distorted, the way it coloured my sallow skin with a shade of red to make me appear as if dead. If I looked closer, I thought I could see other faces in that liquid, sad faces, pained faces, crying out in their torment and their pain... crying from the darkness of death. And at last, I could not ignore them. My brother's spirit is everywhere I look now -- I can brush him aside no longer. His voice echoes around my mind, and when I look to the once-again activated jakokuzuishou, I can see his accusing eyes staring back out at me.

I closed my eyes, but his visage is emblazoned on my mind. Just like Esmeraude's; every time I close my eyes against reality, I hear her laughter, I taste her tears, tears at love gone awry..

I shook my head, taken by a sudden rage of anger. "Why did I have to be the last of us all?! Why was I the one left to mourn? I am the White Prince, the cold, hard, unbreakable diamond! I can't mourn for those I've lost... my heart is like stone, my tears impossible..."

As I talked to myself, I drew some small comfort from my ramblings. After all, it sounded distinctly like I was going mad. Good. If I went mad, then perhaps I would stop thinking about every single stupid thing I ever did wrong. Every single stupid thing that added up to this mess I had created for myself to live in.

"May I join you in a drink, Prince?"

She startled me so badly I dropped my glass. I watched numbly while it shattered across the marble floor of the reactor room, noting the way the thick cerise liquid coursed its way to my white shoes, as if it could move alone.

I shuddered, stepping backwards and turning to face the source of that husky, mellifluous voice. A small, sarcastic smile tinged my lips as I did so. "I didn't know you drank, Senshi."

Pluto shrugged, stepping over to join me at the railing. "I can't say I'm supposed to; not while I'm on duty, at any rate."

I gave her a speculative look, taking in every inch of her. It was not the first time that the Keeper of Time and I had met, but today she seemed... different, somehow. Her cerise eyes were shadowed and deeply troubled, much like my brother's had been for most of his life. The dark hair that framed her lovely face almost hid it from view as I looked at her in profile, but I could still see that she was frowning. "If you're on duty, shouldn't you be guarding the Gate of Time, like you always do?"

"Am I on duty?"

I was surprised. "You implied that you were. Besides, why are you asking me that question? My knowledge of you is minimal at the best of times."

"That's what everybody says," she replied, and I was shocked by the bitterness in her tone. I never thought I would see the day when the calm, decorous Senshi would ever show her anger.

"Then it must be true, then."

She laughed cynically. "Demando, if you go on believing everything everyone tells you, you'll just hurt even more people than you already have."

I winced at that. If I hadn't believed all the lies the Wiseman had told me, perhaps I would have been able to help my brother. Perhaps Serenity would now be awake. Perhaps Esmeraude would still be alive. And perhaps I would be able to sleep at night.

Pluto brushed a long strand of her green hair behind one ear, before sighing and at last turning to face me. "Demando, I didn't come here to argue with you. I came here to talk with you."

I snorted. "Why do I have a feeling that our talk will inevitably dissolve into an argument anyway?"

"Because you're getting as cynical as your brother used to be."

I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could speak again. And honestly, I had been sure for a second there that I was going to cry. Truth was, I had only allowed myself to cry over my brother's body once, and that was when I had left him to sleep alone in the family vault. It seemed irrational, but it hurt me more than his actual death to leave him alone in that tomb. I suppose it was because Saffir looked like he was sleeping, and since childhood, Saffir had been subject to terrible nightmares. I had become the one he would run to in the midst of the night, seeking comfort, and protection from whatever nightmares chased him while he slept. Even though he hadn't done that in a good many years, I had the fear that now, they would start again, and he would have no-one to run to... "If you want to talk, then give me a topic."

Pluto's hands tightened about her Time Key. The orb sitting above the staff glittered ominously, and I wondered what she was thinking about. I had the feeling that the orb was actually psychically bonded to her, able to react to her moods. I wouldn't be surprised if it was; certainly, it would make her job easier, given that the orb would then respond at the same moment she decided to use it. "Aren't you troubled, Demando? You don't look at all well."

I snorted. "Are you a doctor, Senshi? I don't think you are -- besides, isn't it your Senshi of Death and Destruction who holds the healing powers? Not to mention your beloved Neo-King Endymion?"

A small smile stole across her swarthy complexioned face, her eyes playful as she stared into my own. "Do you know that I love him, Prince?"

I shrugged. "I suspected. Besides, my brother told me."

Pluto seemed surprised. "And what would your brother know?"

I laughed bitterly, my pain resounded throughout the sound. "My brother knew many things. He was a watcher, you know. He stood back from the spotlight, and he watched. He was always a person to think before he acted, one who thought about the consequences before bringing them into effect." I shook my head, trying to push the image of my dead and broken brother out of my mind. "Sometimes, I think he would have made a better sovereign than me."

Setsuna laughed, her own laughter caustic and dry. "We have something in common, Prince. Both of us bear responsibility for worlds we don't really care about. We're both blinded by our love for people who are far too high above us to ever look down low enough to see us. We both rule over places we no longer care about anymore -- me, because I have been alone far too long, and you, because you are one alone who has never been alone before."

"So what are you saying?" I asked suspiciously. However, there's a question -- what am I suspicious of? Her motives, or my own?

"So, what are you saying?"

Good question. What was I trying to say? "Demando, you stand here alone, and you stare at the jakokuzuishou as if it could tell you answers. What are you thinking? What question do you need the answer to?"

Demando seemed to struggle with that question. At first, I thought he was going to turn on me, yell at me and tell me to mind my own business. Odd. Demando was usually one of the last people to lose control -- though he had an infamously short temper -- but then again, he had been on a hair-trigger lately. Not that I blamed him -- war tended to do that to a person.

Finally, he turned back to me with a weary look in his violet eyes. "Sailor Pluto, I am merely trying to determine what good I have ever done in my entire existence."

I cocked a dark eyebrow, even though I wasn't in the least bit surprised by the response. "That's a fairly heavy question to be pondering, if you don't mind my saying so."

He almost laughed. "You must do much the same thing, Senshi. After all, you spend your days and nights alone at the Time Gate, do you not? You must fall into deep contemplation often."

I shrugged, not taking my eyes from his. "I suppose you could be right, Prince. I must admit, I don't often think about trivial things. But then, my job is far from trivial."

Demando stared at me for a moment, a thoughtful look in those troubled eyes. "You don't sound very happy about it."

"I could say the same thing about you," I replied softly. "Tell me, what's troubling you?" Leaning on my staff, I leant a little bit closer to Demando.

He unconsciously leant backwards from my influence, a confused look in those violet orbs. "If you don't mind my mentioning it, why are you concerned about me?"

"I am restless," I said honestly, letting my cerise gaze wrap around the violet. He didn't look away, and I had to admire him for that. Most were unnerved by my direct stare, which was a result of my many years alone. "I am restless, and I sense you are restless. We have something in common now, and isn't that how most friendships begin?"

I knew that that particular comment struck a chord in him very deeply -- not just because of who he was, but more because of what he had done. "You don't want to be my friend," he said bitterly, his eyes far away as he gazed blankly in the direction of the jakokuzuishou. "I'm better at keeping flowers alive than friends."

I nodded ever so slightly, beginning to understand Demando's problems. He felt completely responsible for the falling apart of his kingdom, he felt the death of everyone he had lost was somehow his fault. However, I do believe that it was his brother's death that brought it to the surface. I think that if Saffir had lived, perhaps he wouldn't have felt quite this bad.

However, I smiled faintly, looking to the pale Prince of the palace cracked. "That may be so, Prince, but I think I am one friend you'd have a lot of trouble getting rid of."

He laughed then, cynical and bitter. "What's wrong with this picture? Well, let me be the one to mention it -- you are a Senshi, I am a Nemesian ruler. We can't be friends, it's illegal. It's high treason. And it's illogical."

I widened my eyes slightly, to put more emphasis behind my words. However, Demando wasn't even looking my way; he was too caught up in his own thoughts. "But Demando, are you not a ruler? Don't you make the rules?"

"Ah, but you are not. You must obey the laws of your Queen," he said simply, at last turning to look at me once more.

I shook my head ever so slightly, loose strands of my dark green hair caressing the air. "No, that's quite accurate, Prince. I obey the laws of the Keeper of Time. The Queen and King have no great influence over my life. I can do what I please as long as I remain the Keeper of the Garnet Orb."

Demando sighed, looking back towards the gently glowing crystal reactor. "Why are you here?"

"Because I heard your thoughts, and they intrigued me -- why do you feel so guilty, Demando? Is it really your fault that your family, your commanders, your armies are dead and dying?"

"Of course it is," he said in a voice raw with pain, one that took me aback. As he turned agonised eyes towards me, I sighed inside. Sighed to see the pain, the guilt, the understanding that it was all his fault. In some ways, it was awful, in other ways wonderful. There was a terrible beauty about it; he was "evil," he had done these immoral things, yet he finally felt guilt over it.

"Of course it is," I echoed gently, more to myself than the Prince, but he took it as an agreement.

"Yes," he said bitterly. "It's all my fault... sometimes, I wonder why I was even born. Sometimes, I wish I never had been."

That was the remark I had been waiting for. I smiled, and leant towards the Prince, placing a gloved hand on his white clad shoulder. He jumped at the touch, looking at me. I think it relaxed him somewhat, to find that he still was able to look down at me. I was only an inch or so shorter in stature, however. "Demando, you wish you had never been born?"

"Wouldn't Nemesis have been a much better place under the rule of someone sane?" he replied, his eyes downcast and angry. "I ruin everything I touch -- I ruin everything I love."

My hand drifted downwards, to take up the Prince's nearest hand, without saying a word. He then turned to face me, looking bemused. I spoke before he had a chance. "Demando, you want to know what this world would be like if you had never been born into it?"

He gave me a long, contemplative look, before slowly nodding his head. "Yes."

"Good." I tried to smile in a friendly way, but that was difficult. I only ever smiled in the presence of the Small Lady, and there was no way that I could pretend Demando was that child. "Demando, I can show you what would have been."

"Then why talk about it?" he asked softly, his eyes beginning to burn with some of the white fire I had always associated with the shiro no oji of Nemesis. "Why don't you show me?"

With a smile, I led the Prince away from the reactor, invoking a time-transcendent door that opened before us. "Care to join me in a tango?" I asked flippantly, a rare tone for one such as myself.

I think he understood that, because he gave me the strangest look before sighing and squeezing my hand. I could see he had no idea how we had ended up in such a surreal situation, but then again, neither did I. "To infinity and beyond," he said softly, and I laughed.

"No, no, the Infinity Academy isn't for awhile yet, my friend...well, in terms of the Senshi of the past, anyhow."

I ignored the look he gave me, laughed, and pulled him through the door as he then said "Are we allowed to do this?"

"What good is a rule if it cannot be broken?" I asked him, heady on the glory of doing something I knew I wasn't supposed to do. But then again, in the end, which of us would have to bear the greatest punishment? Myself, or the grieving prince?

As written by Celeste Goodchild.

Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha Comics, and Toei Animation.

Additional notes: the following are several Japanese terms used in the story; gaikoukan means diplomat, ottosama means husband, and oujisama means Prince.